- those were the three traditional Chinese fireworks that I lit up tonight. Hopefully, I get all that this year.

I got to call Ja, My dad, and my Ate Joy. Hearing Ja’s voice on the other line *again* made me somehow feel good. I don’t know if it’s a good thing, but it did help me smile through out the night. Not that it meant something, but… I just felt good. I was trying to call Andrew, Ed, George, Ban, Ayah, My Mom, Basil and Lance but it’s either they’re not picking up or I just can’t get through the freakin’ “traffic”. But then Lance called me, Joel too, and my cousin Elaine. My Kuya Richie was just on the phone wit me a few minutes ago. Freakin’ line got cut. Argh. We were in the middle of talking about movies!

“I promise” by Stacie Orrico is the only thing playing on my compo right now. I’ve been listening to it since this afternoon.

I keep thinking about Lance and his decision. I can’t help it.

hmm… okay I just got off the phone wit Kuya Rich. He lives in L.A. right now. He wus at work. I do pray he would be able to come home before I turn 18. I miss him a LOT. I remember how we hold hands whenever we walk in the mall or how we just giggle non-stop. He’s one of my closest relatives. He’s more of like my big brother. If he’d come home, it’s more than enough. We’d go par-tay in Libis and go to Rockwell or something. Oh well.


Guys, last year I spent most of my time thinking about my problems, crying in the bathroom, I didn’t concentrate on my studies, I had so much going on that I forgot to set my priorities. Most of you might have thought of me as selfish but believe it or not, my dorm mates have been telling me not to think of other people too much. How they’d feel, what they’d think… but it’s hard. This year, if there’s anything I wanna change, that’d have to be my outlook in life. It’s gotta be a lot more positive. I don’t wanna listen to what other people have to say.

When it comes to Heart Matters, I didn’t realize until last week that I have become numb. And very very scared. More scared than I have imagined. I don’t know if it is a good thing. Since I tend to stop myself from falling. That would also mean that I’m saving myself from getting hurt. Any guy at present would say that he won’t even think of hurting you. Maybe right now I can say “yeah, he won’t.” but I said the same thing about 2 and a half years ago, but where did I end up? Not that I’m trying to mention any names, but to be honest, I have found it hard. Really really really hard to give my full trust to someone. I don’t know if I have to change that.

Sheesh. When it comes to Heart Matters, I’ll just hafta leave it ALL up to God.

And I don’t know how this is relevant, but Miko Sotto’s death affected me A LOT. How? It’s when I saw his girlfriend, Angel Locsin. When I saw her, her eyes all bulgy,I don’t know. I felt her pain. Hey, I had a boyfriend too. When we broke up I felt like dying. But the thing is I’d still get to see him. She won’t. He’s gone. *sigh*… maybe she feels worse than dying.


They just never work for me. I’m a spontaneous person, I don’t map out things. Very carefree. Although I have nothing against them, I just don’t follow whatever I write down. So I decided not to do any this year.


because y’all would get ta see my room, and because some of my high school friends will be visiting. Aside from that, it has to be Valentines Day. No, it’s not what you’re thinking. It’s because I’m looking forward to who’s gonna be doing a concert! Who’s gonna be my date? My cousin of course. :D June ,too. Because I’m gonna be turning 18 then, and my parents will be coming home for my birthday. I can’t wait ta see them. And finally go to THE SPA in Libis. Yay! :D and this is when PRISONER OF AZKABAN would hit the big screen! :D


With a prayer. :)

And to y’all reading this, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I pray this time we all have a prosperous one. A happy one. Guys, let’s make the most out of this year. With all the tragedies happening around us, let’s value life. Let’s value every single day. Every single minute.



What a year. I look back at everything. From my favorite songs to my favorite moments. Just as I was swallowing my dinner , I thought to myself : “What the heck did I do this year?... did I make the most out of it?” Yada-yada-yada.

The year didn’t even start yet but I suddenly felt “the change”. Is it a good thing? Probably, yes.

How am I gonna start the year? I’m gonna start it by thanking God. For what happened this year. Like I said I always thought this year was miserable. But then I’m thankful because he got me through it. This year gave me pain. But of course it always makes you stronger. I also want to thank God for what he’s gonna give me this year. That includes my new phone. *wink* :D

I wanna thank God for my Parents – My Dad who is striving VERY hard to give me what he thinks I deserve. He even told my mom once : “is there anything I couldn’t give my daughter?” I cried. For my Mom : my partner-in-crime. Always by my side. My mom, for me – is everything rolled into one. She can be the worst enemy, the best friend, but to top it all off, she’s someone I can’t live without.

I wanna thank God for my Grandmother – sure, she blabbers a lot, but hey – I’m used to it. Hearing her talk like she’s firing a gun makes me feel like everything is normal. Everything is in place. It might sound really irritating but there’s nothing I can do about it. :D and I love her for that. Thanks for the doughnuts that you buy for me every weekend, Gramma. And for making me feel really important.

I wanna thank God for my Uncle – and my Aunt, too. For treating me like I’m part of “their” family. My Uncle, for being VERY patient when it comes to me, and for driving me to wherever. He’s another partner-in-crime, too. He gives me advices about guys, too. And for the trust that he’s given me. My Aunt, for the hugs that she gives me. And for saying “ I’ll pay it! “ when we’re out on the mall most of the time. And for laughing at herself. She’s at her 30’s, and sometimes she acts like this kid – I love her for it.

I wanna thank God for my cousins – sure, Louie and Maro could be a bit of a headache, and Chi is the one I get along wit. I love them. When we’re together we’re like this pack of hyenas. We never stop laughing. And making fun of each other. And thanks to their appetite, I guess it pretty much influenced me. :D

I wanna thank God for my Friends – Lance : I always said Lance is the one I knew the longest. He came before everybody else. Feeling bad? Saw something funny? Wanna talk to someone about music? Designers? The latest Roberto Cavalli line? My favorite Manolo? One person comes to mind. And that’s Lance. We’ve known each other back in first year. And he’s been around EVER since. I never told him that seeing him around makes me happy. (he might never believe it since he has this…thing about me saying stuff like this…) but he does. Len – it seems that we never get along when it comes to things that we shouldn’t really be arguing about. But she’s still there. And I’m still here. And I know we both are trying hard. I appreciate when she makes things look normal for me when they’re not. I appreciate the letters, the gifts. And whenever she makes me happy. She knows what I want her to be. Not that I’m manipulating her. But she knows. Ed – he’s always there. I don’t know. He does these little things that make me feel “special”. Don’t take it the wrong way. But Ed is just one of the best things that happened to me this year. He’s a great friend. Even more than great. George – one of the most unusual friendships. We say certain things that actually shouldn’t be said to each other and we never get pissed. It’s like we understand each other SO well. I’m not sure if George sees it that way but I do. He’s one of the people I know I can trust and I know I can be REALLY honest wit. I’m looking forward to more “deep” conversations wit him. Gail – her advice just helped me A LOT. I’ve been spending a lot of time in her dorm lately, (E4) and I know I’ve been bugging her somehow (when she’s supposed to be studying)… she totally gave me her ear when I needed someone to listen. And she tried her best to understand. Eventually, she did. And she respected me for that. I saw the sincerity. She wants me to be happy. I clearly saw that from her. Basil – of course, for all the mocks and for calling me a – nevermind. But inspite of all this, Basil is very…VERY mature. I’m not trying to sound mushy, but Basil really showed me that he cares. Honest! That’s very rare in a guy. Aldrich – for everything. The laughs, the headaches (lolz!), the good and the bad moments. For making me feel like I’m something. For lifting me up, and for being the guy that he is. Jay – we just got to get “close” lately but I’m thankful because we already built this trust. He IS a cool guy. And I know there’s a lot of time for mocking. Other people, that is. :D Karl – he KNOWS that I’m thankful because though we’re not really thislose we have “no hard feelings” when we mock each other. I also love him for being honest. Although his honesty could hurt, but that’s one of the things Lance likes about his personality, too. Karl, don’t change. Brian – I always thought Brian was tough. Like he never cared. But just when you need someone to listen to you, at the most unexpected times, you get a text message and see Brian’s name in your inbox asking you how you’re doing. We text each other when we’re bored and all that. Yeah, he mocks hard. But hey, that’s the way he is. :D Andrew - :D always made me feel special. He makes me feel like I could do anything I want to. That I can go through everything. He’s very patient. He has humor, too! I know there’s still more to see. And there’s LOTS of time for that. Mark – gives the BEST advices. He says things and it’s like BOOM! You realize things. He’s not afraid to admit things. We started being friends because of one person. But it all started on that small conversation we had in the e-house before and after the last novena. I’m thankful for that night. He sure does know how to carry a conversation.

I wanna thank God for the “Titans” – my former batchmates. Ayah, Maya, Angela – my gurlfriends. I barely hear from them. I don’t even think they still think of me, but I wanna say that I really, really, really, really miss them. My gurls are the best. Choel – he’s still there. Our relationship wit each other never changed. Never. Ban, Jayson, Nica, Nat, Chin – we’re all studying in the same school but we barely see each other, but then I’m thankful we still do – somehow.

I wanna thank God for my former blockmates – some of them, for giving me the worst “start”. Some of them for making me crack up. Even if I got to shift I’m still thankful I got to know people like them.

I wanna thank God for my dorm mates – for sharing all the secrets and the gurl talks ‘til the witching hours of midnight, for all the gossips, and the laughs we shared (and the food as well)… and just being there. Lately I go “home” and tell them the same problem EVERY single day. And they never stopped listening, giving me honest comments, understanding me, and fighting for me.

I wanna thank God for every single gurl who has looked at me from head-to-foot and to those who has raised their eyebrows, and those who have been making fun of me, and the ones talking behind my back – because they made me feel bad – in a good way.

I wanna thank God for my cat, Jason, for my dogs, Mimi, Cadpig, Blue, Theodore, Lucky, and JM. It is true. You’re sad, tired…you look at your pets. You’ll feel a lot more…relieved.

I wanna thank God – for my ex. For making me a part of his life. For making me see reality. For once making me happy. For giving me his heart. For taking the risk. For breaking my heart.

And lastly, I wanna thank God for giving me this life. This year. For giving me NOW.



and Tom Welling…Keanu Reeves…and Tom Cruise…and Andy Roddick…Ashton Kutcher…I’m sorry if I left anyone out…(word! :D )

But OMG! I just saw the trailer of Prisoner of Azkaban for the second time and I’m like WHOA! :D

I got myself another white tank top from Topshop last night. And another one of those cute boyshorts. I’m gonna fill my drawer wit a lot of those… :D

There’s so much I wanna share ta y’all… I don’t know why should I be saying all these when they’re about my past, but… I just feel that my past is something really important to me. You can just skip this part if you want. :D


I read my journal back in high school. Exactly two years ago… :D well, it was just one of those moments. :D oh, and August 1 and 2! Hehe. Honestly, each and every single time I read it, I get *kilig* all over! :D we were talking on the phone, and he was really surprised how I got to convince him to tell me over the phone. He said he was supposed to propose that Saturday, he even said “Saturday was gonna be the start of the rest of our lives”… hehehe. He said he didn’t want to be scared anymore. “Enough hiding…enough pretending..”

Maybe I should pretty much tell myself that.

I made him a journal. I started to write on them on the 25th of September…and I gave it ta him a few days before we both left for the Philippines. The last time we saw each other back there was April 1st. He wus in my room wit me, my Mum, too. And my dad wus at the living room. We were just standing there facing each other, Mum wus at my couch, he just looked at me, then he touched my face, and he left. I looked at my Mum, who wasn’t facing me, and I asked her..”Mum, why didn’t you give us a *moment* ?” and she wus like, “You didn’t tell me, I’m sorry…” I just gave her a smirk. I ran to the window and I saw him walking on his way home (it’s pretty near…), then I raced to my room and just sat on my bed and cried. Gosh. That was it. After this, it’s gonna take REALLY long before we get to see each other again. On the day of my flight (he wus leaving the next day), I was talking to him on the phone while I was putting some make-up on. He was quiet. I did all the talking…” So this is what it feels like…” those were the words he kept saying over and over…I didn’t want to cry. I tried acting as normal as possible. We said our goodbyes and I promised to call him as soon as I got there. I looked for my cat, and he was under my bed. He probably knew that I was leaving. I gave my room a quick “one last look”…I swear, I didn’t really look around and all that since I know I wus gonna miss it A LOT. This room saw me grow up. This room – this is where I ran to whenever I cried. This room gave me comfort. This room saw the real me. This room saw me in love, saw me happy. This room also saw me and Ja together. Eating popcorn and watching movies and all that. (Mom would let him come over most of the time, and she won’t mind seeing us together :D )…this room saw it all. And now I’m leaving it. I didn’t let a single teardrop fall. Because if I did. They just wouldn’t stop.


When I got back to the Philippines, I knew it was gonna be hard. But I was willing to take the risk. I always thought we were both in it together. And that we both had to sacrifice. But then things don’t always turn out the way you thought they would. But he was right. We were too young to believe that we were meant for each other. At first I didn’t see the point. But I understood. I always did. I always had to.

"If two people are meant for each other, it doesnt mean that they are

meant for each other NOW." ---Pacey, DAWSON'S CREEK

“When you love someone, And you love them with your heart, It never disappears when you're apart. When you love someone And you've done all you can do, You set them free. And if that love was true, When you love someone It will all come back to you” --- FORGET PARIS

“Fate exists but it can only take you so far, Because once you're there, It's up to you to make it happen.” ---CAN'T HARDLY WAIT

"When you kiss someone, everything around you becomes hazy... and the

only thing in focus is you and this person... And you realize that this

person is the only person you should be kissing for the rest of your life...

And for one moment, you get, this amazing gift... And you wanna laugh and ou

wanna cry... Cuz you feel so lucky that you've found it and so scared

that it'll go away all at the same time..." ---NEVER BEEN KISSED

"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop

loving, no matter how hard they try. I wouldn't expect you to understand

that, oer even believe it, but trust me, there are some love that don't

go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end

up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity. Somebody who

never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever." --- Ally Mc Beal

“When you've found that person you want to spend the rest of ur life

with, you want the rest of your life to begin right away." ---When Harry Met


True, right?

But what the heck. It’s probably too early to look forward to “forever”. Forever definitely can’t be now. We all have dreams to achieve. And that’s- my number one.



Just got home from Greenhills. I wus looking for Abercrombie and Fitch but I didn’t see one. Darn it.

I wus looking at that previous post and I noticed. This year has been hard on me. I mean, I know I should try and focus on the good things that happened, like my Mom coming home and all that. But, it’s more of the drama. If I were ta put it in one word, the year 2003 has brought me a lot of : DRAMA.

But then, let’s see… I gained a LOT of friends. My former foes are now my friends. How cool is that? :D and I also got closer to the tropa. Thanks ta Ben, who got me in…

Oh, about the new phone? I just made a miracle. GUYS… my folks are getting me a new phone! YAY! :D I won’t tell what model I’ma be getting but… it’s gonna be my new…baby. :D word…I pray my folks won’t back out… ;p

Andrew has a blog! Uhm, it’s a good start… read his post, it’s obviously Andrew’s. hey, I didn’t mean anything… :D WORD! :D *peace*…

Ohkay…so the little brats are bragging me about playing MARIOKART on the freakin’ Game Cube… I guess I’m gonna go join them…

EHEM… ta Karl, Zubair, Brian and Kelvin…PUHLEASE don’t forget ta bring some AL BAIK home. (don’t forget the garlic sauce) and ta Aldrich, don’t forget ta get me….erm, anything you could. Hehehehe….

Oh, and… NEW ME? I’m thinking of going BOHO and VINTAGE this year. I’m starting on getting vintage earrings. Does anyone know where all the good thrift stores are? I wanna get vintage shirts. Oh, and I want a baseball cap! A pink baseball cap…AND…this year I promise myself I’m gonna get more low-rise,hip hugging jeans. :D and more pointy shoes… (okay, this isn’t going anywhere near VINTAGE. :D I guess I’ll just hafta work on that. :D )



Flashback. What good has this year done for me? I know it could be too early since it’s 6 days more ‘til New Year, but I felt like typing the highlights, the good and the bad things the year 2003 has brought for me.

January 2003. I have this entry in my journal saying that it has been the loudest new year I ever had. Fireworks and all…it’s also the saddest. My first New Year miles away from “home”, from my ex. This month has been all about him. Especially that time in Tagaytay, January 2, it was supposedly our monthsary. My relatives and I were having dinner at Leslie’s when all of a sudden a group of singers came to our table and sang “Can’t take my eyes off you” and “You”. Wow. Call that coincidence? Maybe. But if you certain beliefs, like, things like these could be a sign or something. God knows.

February 2003. Aaah. I met “Big A”, a talent manager. We were already supposed to do a VTR when Mum disagreed. Another modeling opportunity wasted. At least I might get to go CalCarries or JRP. :D God will help me on that. :D aaannd, the Boyz II Men concert. Gosh. That was supposed to be a great night since they sang all the great songs (except for OH WELL) , until I got to talk to my ex, who at that time made me feel verrrry “i-don’t-care-about-you-so-just-shut-up-and-call -someone-else-”…on Valentine’s Day. That was definitely THE highlight of the day. I got home, watched my high school videos and started throwing things at the t.v., especially when I get to watch those scenes where we hold hands or that time he carried me. Luckily, the t.v. is still in one piece. :D

March 2003. still reminiscing about the past. My first time to Eastwood. We went on exam week. :D the next day we were all packed up to clear out of the dorms. Roch left. I cried my eyes out, since she’s like my big sister. We both share the same passion for shopping and dressing up, we both have a lot in common, we both know a lot about each other. And I know I was gonna miss her. I still do.

April 2003. thought I have gotten over him. This was the month he actually admitted that he’s over me. I remember texting Lance that very same time. I remember crying in the bathroom, talking to my bestfriend, Maya. I remember cursing everything. I remember feeling so angry. At myself. I remember crying for a week. For three consecutive days I cried every morning, as I got out of bed. There was even this time when I got a glass of water, I sat down in the living room, then I just…cried. My cousin came over to comfort me, we were both in the same sitch. Funny. We always do. :D I was miserable. I felt that the world had turned its back on me. I felt so alone. Even if my friends were there for me, I felt left out, because no one would ever know what that felt like.

May 2003. I thought it over. I already lost him, and I didn’t want to lose our friendship. We eventually became friends. I don’t even know if it’s a good thing, but it’s a lot more better than us ignoring each other like we never met. Like we were never in love with each other. Like we were never…like we were never.

June 2003. I was filled with anxiety. I didn’t want to feel the pressure. I wrote “ I don’t wanna go back to the dorms yet!”. I also remember realizing to focus on other important things aside from myself. This month felt like January. Everything subjecting to change. This was the time I got close with Aldrich. Got closer to the tropa. I got more interested into learning, and eventually my prof in logic got to notice that. :D good start. :D THE BEST PART OF JUNE? June 21, my Mom tells me we have to pick her friend up the next day in the airport since she has this package my Mum sent, and that we should drop her off her house since she lives in Laguna, too. We get to the airport, went around thrice, we were looking for my Mum’s friend, who, according to my mum, has this big cardboard wit her name on it since I haven’t met her yet ( I forgot the name :D) I wus looking around for this lady wit a huge cardboard, instead, I find my Mum. I cried on the spot. It’s been a year and a month since we haven’t seen each other. It felt like we’ve been separated for ages. I didn’t know how to react, I was more than happy. My mom’s here. My hero. She’s here. In the flesh. :D the stuff she bought for me? oh, that’s just the bonus. :D also, Upper becomes the new dorm mate. SMALL WORLD! Upper proves that. She used to be my ex’s seatmate back in grade school. We got along really well. :D

July 2003. whoa…this month is about the pre-existence of my lovelife. :D I know I still don’t have one. But this is where everything starts. Again. Officially. The sparks, and all that. But this was the time I start getting depressed for no reason at all. My Mom’s here, I’ve got what I needed, but then there’s this emotional blackhole sucking me in. Then I think of suicide. I didn’t do it. I wasn’t even close to stabbing myself to death but it was close to getting the knife. I was helpless. I didn’t do any counseling since no one really believed Abbie thought of REALLY doing it. I start talking to God again.

August 2003. I had made a plan about sending my birthday gift to him but I decided not to. Then, it’s all about Shnookum right here. Oh, and that night we spent in Eastwood! :D that was cool. Even if Joel had all the fun, we managed killing time while waiting for him ‘til 4 A.M. :D Joel’s mum took care of everything at home. He’s got a nice family. :D Mom leaves for Jeddah, and I missed a tropa meeting in ATC because she left on that same day. I didn’t go with her to the airport. It was hard enough for me. I just cried myself to sleep. I was like this baby. But believe me. My Mom and I are inseparable. Although, it depends on the situation. :D

September 2003. I met Andrew. :D but then things start to get all mixed up. It’s not because of him, it was because of me. Because I let things happen. This is what you get of going with the flow. Too much of anything IS bad. Also the time where I start hating the “new attitude” of some people around…exactly. Over-confidence? IT IS A BAD THING. And for someone who I always hang out with? It definitely gets on my nerves. What is this, a competition?

October 2003. Things just get more mixed up. Problems with the tropa, the pre-existence of my lovelife is somewhat the cause of the conflicts, people talking behind my back, people blaming me…it all happens here. But this isn’t the worst.

November 2003. I start using Friendster! :D also the time where I spent the most. Oh, and the road trip to Tagaytay, which, EHEM caused some minor problems, but it’s all good. So far…until…

December 2003. Something weird happened. There are three guys in one table. It’s not just that. For me, this is the longest month. I mean, a lot happened! Things, that I’m not even sure if…they were supposed to happen. They just did. But then this month has brought so much. Some things I don’t even wanna remember. So let’s just leave it at that.


First of all...MERRY CHRISTMAS TA EVERYONE!!! ;p ;p ;p

Hmm... this past few week, I've been this haggard. It's like I'm part of Heraldo now. (Not that I'm mocking it er anything but...based on what I've been hearing from my friends, I think it IS pretty tiring to be part of Heraldo. I always chicken out when I think about get...into...Heraldo... :D anyways...)... I lack SO much sleep. Swear. (okay, I'm currently interrupted wit Ed's...*looks*...) ...uhm...let's see... I started "SIMBANG GABI"...on it's first day. Missed the second. And the third. And the fourth. And today. MAH BAD! hyuk... :D what? I didn't feel well, I didn't wake up on time. Those are the few reasons why... :)

hmm...what else?

there's nothing much to say, really... or I'm just not in the mood to... :D

basta. MERRY CHRISTMAS nalang ulit.... Love y'allz!


Again, having our 30 minute break... Into to Comm theory is..pretty... i dunno. maybe it's the prof. but yeah, he's cool...he finished his M.A. in U.P. and all that.

uhm...i don't really know what to say but.. ALDRICH! WHERE'S MY TESTI? ... ;S

I'm hungry... :(

Bon apres-midi guys! :D



Hmm...currently at Nebo wit Ed. I figured if I did sleep at the dorms and I'd end up waking up looking for everybody..

First of all, I'm sick and tired of thinking about EVERYTHING. Like I said, I've always tried to keep my cool...i try to be as nonchalant as possible. But i guess I'm not really good at that. It's not how I'm built... (hey that's from Jerry Maguire...tee hee...but seriously... ) It's not an easy thing. I've been hearing a lot of's...yada yada... she's yada yada...I'm yada yada... and this guy's yada yada...and that if that happens, it's gonna be yada yada, and if i go there, it's would result to yada yada... YADA YADA YADA. I give out this BIG smile and... I just SMILE. I don't even know if you could still call it a smile.

...I don't even feel like typing about it... there's something wrong. something missing. something... lacking.


We're at Cyber having our 30-minute break from Comm theory. hehe. KEWL! We get ta surf at Cyber. Erm...their keyboards are really...(how shud i say this?...) - STIFF? HYUK.

but yea. Jay texted me and said it would be safer if I surfed here.

Basil, Karl, Kelvin, Kevin, Jay, Brian, Kyle and dem are just playing Counter on the opposite side of where Len and I are at.

Check out Andrew's pic at Friendster! ANDREW KAY BAUTISTA! Put something a lil bit more....conservative. hyuk. WORD!

Poor Ed. His car isn't "working"... tsk tsk...

Shux. How long have we been here? Is it 30 minutes already? Guess I gotta get back... :) Don't wanna miss out on anything... Intro to Comm is a major subject... :) but first gotta edit some stuff in my profiles. Right after I add Joam.

Have a nice weekend everyone... :)



I'm at Nebo wit Egg. Hyuk.

I swear. This is the first time I begged almost every single person I know to go surf wit me... Err... It's not funny...

Last night, although some things came up, I still thought that day wus... OKAY. :D I dunno. I mean, we fixed things up, we confess, we... *sigh* ... realize... :D

Ban just gave me this testimonial... i wus moved... :D thanks Ban...

Hmm...I'm thinking...I stay alone in the dorms at Saturday night... that's a LOT of time to think...and I could turn that small room to...somewhat like...this place in Jeddah. I could just close my eyes and... feel. UGH. here i go wit being sentimental again...oh well..

Kei..gotta go...friendster... :D

Thank God everything's okay now... :)



SHI *HIC* -T. It's 6:21 A.M. And we're at Hubsite. George is on my left and Kelvin is on my right, and Kevin is sitting next to him. Ed is at my back and Lance is watching him play.Brian is sitting next to Ed... Karl, Jay, Basil, Gail and Andrew are in the car, all sleeping... :D

Gosh. That wus... COOL. We left Cyberkada past 9 and went to Tagaytay. Just as Ed started the engine, I wus like... "ROAD TRIP, ROAD TRIP,ROAD TRIP!!" ... Dencio's wus our first stop. I had a total of 4 EHEM, according to them were LEMONADES, but NOOO... I had a total of 4... 4 Margaritas. And I didn't even eat before I drank them all up... and they have this really nice view. And the weather as well...Thanks Ed, for lending me yer jacket... :D I'm still wearing it now... *tee hee*

wow...George is having Lucky Me... I could smell it.... YUM-MY...

Anyways, I got REALLY drunk last night...hehe... I know I did. I wus kinda embarassed...still am. Cus I've been acting really stupid and that I just couldn't stop laughing... the thing is, when i start, I just couldn't stop... JEEZ.

Then we went to this place where we spent most of our time...uhm, gosh...I couldn't remember...but we stayed there 'til 5.

There wus this one time, I wus laying down in the front seat, (yeah, i wus occupying the whole thing...) the door wus open, my head wus out, then I just...looked up at the stars... then I called Lance, so he sat beside me...and we just talked...helped me calm down... :D Lancy, don't you just LOVE stargazing? :D

Haha. Andrew isn't used to drinking...he's still in the front seat of the car...his head leaning on the window... I kept patting him on the shoulder... tsk tsk... "kaya mo yan, kid!" ... hehehe...

Dammit. I could hear my tummy... ;s but I guess we couldn't get back to the dorms ( me and Gail ) right now. I'm thinking 9 or 10 A.M., just to be sure.

When George and I were outside ( the "lounging" area of Hubsite ), I looked around, then at the sky and said, "Mornings"...then gave out a sigh. Then I look at Ed's starex... and I smiled.

It's moments like these... :D

I wanna go back to the dorms. But if... IF i do, like right now... hehe... NOOOO.... NOT A GOOD IDEA. :D



and uhm... Good... *HIC*..Mor...HIC*..ning...

oh, and... MARITESS AND THE SUPERFRIENDS! made my morning.... thanks again, ED....thanks for the trip, and for dinner...and for....everything... :D



Ugh. GUESS WHAT. I think I'm getting there. But... who to follow? Two white rabbits. Two rabbitholes. Two... different kinds of...Wonderland.


I can't walk on two paths at the same time...

Whoa. I read George's blog...and I feel the.... whatever feeling that is... *smirks* ... If only I wasn't shifty... or too picky... (but I guess being picky is somewhat a good thing...) I would somehow be writing something similar... how this felt, how things went... *sigh*... who i've felt it wit... :D I will be soon enough, I guess...when I bang my head a million times on the wall then I guess I'd be able to decide...

but since I'm not stupid enough to do that, I think I'll hafta wait 'til I turn 45. :)

To be HONEST, I'm just waiting for SOMEONE to finally come up to me...and just tell me. STRAIGHT. And that's it. But one's moving BUT me... Well...hehe... uhm, they actually ARE doing something...but...oh well, let's just see what happens.

I'm still scared... I'm not ready yet, but I will be...given the right time and... EHEM...the right guy would PROVE himself...and not just UGGGHHH... *plastic smile*... ( Oh, be nice, Abbie...) ...

Last night I talked to Gail, Darlin and Ella. :D I swear, I cried my eyes out... tears of JOY. haha! :D If I were to hang out wit them more often, I guess...that JOLLY side of me would eventually..."pop out" again...

Anyways... I miss my Jeddah friends...Oh, and speaking of Jeddah...Mum sent me 12 packs of INDOMIE! YUM-MY!! It's actually like Pancit Canton, only that this has Bumbu and Soy Sauce... I'm craving for one now... hehe... Oh and I also told Basil I'd give him one... :D

Okay...I guess I gotta go... :D

ADD ME!! you know, Friendster...duh!!!




well, she's just a great performer... although i haven't really paid much attention to her but her songs... but when i saw her perform... WOW.

and thanks to KEVIN for lifting me up. If it wasn't for him, i wouldn't be able to see her... :D

Destiny is not a matter of chance,

it is a matter of choice;

It is not a thing to be waited for,

it is a thing to be achieved

lalang... :D

I can do this. I know I can.



I can relate to that. :D Basil told me about this phrase written in front of his notebook. Lalang. Just thought of writing it down. Cool. I’m watching Crazy/Beautiful.

“ I remember most at 17. I remember the day we met. His smile, his touch. He can be anywhere when your life begins. When the future opens up in front of you. You may not realize it at first, but it’s already happening.”

Choosing the right guy to love is like browsing through Nars looking for the right shade of lipstick to match your skin tone. I remember, I was at ATC and I wus checking out all these colours, and I found this…orangy shade. I’m like, “Hey, this is nice…” but I tried it on and it didn’t go wit my tone… I got disappointed. But I thought, even if I liked it so much, I can’t get this colour just cus I like it. It has to go well wit my tone…so the saleslady gave me this dark brown shade…and they were like, “bagay…” so wit two people just nodding at me…I wus convinced… “Okay, I’m taking this…” I didn’t really like it that much, but it wus the only one that went well…I eventually learned how to love it. And everyone just kept on complimenting me whenever I wear it… just like that Chanel lipstick that I have… :D

People tell me to go this way…but I find their way hard. I mean, hey… I REALLY appreciate all these people texting, asking me how things are going, how I’m doing… and all the concerned people giving me advices…suggestions…and there’s Mark… the Mark who never let me down. The ever neutral Mark Launcel Panizales…. I decided… I know these are my friends and they do want the best for me…but this is my life. They probably do see more things than me since all of my guyfriends in the tropa dorms inside… I might not know what is happening inside but that goes the same for them. They don’t see things the way I do. No matter how hard I try explaining, no one would understand me, but myself… so I’m like…I’m doing things MY way now. People do think it’s wrong… Abbie’s dumb, Abbie’s stupid, Abbie’s desperate…this and that. I CAN’T DO THE RIGHT THING! If I do it’s gonna take months before this all gets resolved. I’m doing what I should’ve done A LONG TIME AGO. But now I’m doing it MY way. The way. It’s wrong, but it’s what I feel like I should do. I’m a girl? Is that why I shouldn’t move? F*CK that! … I have… GIRL POWER! ( ugh…reminds me of the days I loved Ginger Spice so much…) … let’s not consider sex. Let’s not say that just because I’m a girl I have to wait… in this sitch, I SHOULDN’T WAIT. I should move before things gets worst.


I’m gonna react to it, Shnookum. I don’t like you being this sad. I really… I really don’t like you feeling this way. Honestly. Frankly speaking, I have somehow misunderstood you in a way. I’m not “PLASTIC” but I had these thoughts about… everything going on wit… our lives. It’s pretty hard to explain here and iI’m not sure if it’s right to talk about it here. I wanna talk to you. Life wasn’t easy for me here too at first. I do think everyone goes through this. Drich you have to be strong. YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG. Like I always say… you shouldn’t always depend on friends. The first person you should trust first – is yourself. Drich, anyone can break that trust. You have to trust yourself. You have to depend on yourself. I know it’s like, “Oh, Abbie always says this stuff”… but it’s true. YOU ARE NOT UNWANTED. Come to think of it. You said that it’s pretty hard adjusting to people, the way they act and all that…but you’re not the only one adjusting, Drich…see, everyone is. We all grew up living wit…different cultures…we were all brought up differently. And you don’t hafta be sorry for being harsh (it’s not even being harsh, it’s just being true to what you really feel)… You just had to say what you had to say. I did think you didn’t really care and that you were manhid. (I’m being honest) I am one of those. But I do know deep down inside you care. Sometimes I’m like… “Why is it like this?” … but I always end up wit “I gotta get used to it…It’s him and I can’t change that”… sometimes I still say something about it but… well, is there anything else I could do about it? And yes, sometimes I’m like…”HMP! Bahala ka na nga jan” or something like, “What is wrong wit you?”… but in the end, I’m always gonna end up understanding. (although sometimes I don’t…I just do… :D ) … I do think of it as something serious… I just called him… I’m still talking to him…

Ben just sent me this text. This really beautiful text:

When you reach the edge of a cliff, TRUST GOD. One of two things will happen… HE will CATCH you when you fall…or he will TEACH YOU HOW TO FLY… :)

I remember reading this forwarded email about God. Someone asked God a series of questions… and the last one went wit: “ What do you want to tell your children?” and God replies wit: “ I jus want them to know that I am here … ALWAYS”… I don’t know what has gotten into me that a tear fell from my face. Then another one. And another one. I guess I had forgotten about God. I got carried away wit all the anger… that I felt. Angry about the break-up, angry about the way people are treating me, angry at all the things that happened to me., angry coz I can’t get him back. Angry that my Mom had to go back, and leave me here in the Philippines… but Thank God, it’s all in the past now. Thank God I got over it. Thank God for Lance. Who helped me get out of the SHIT I wus in. remember I used to say, I owe it all to Lance? I sure do. :D

He walked me to the dorms tonight. And he paid for my Iced tea. I’m paying you back, Lance! :D Gosh, I miss that guy. I felt good walking wit him. I don’t know if he noticed, but I had this BIG smile plastered on my face…we were like, talking about something… and I jus had this… smile. “Just like the old days”… I thought. And no matter how shitty my day went, that walk just made my day. :D

I just wanna say that… I’m thankful…for all of you…for each and every one of you… and I love you guys so much… SO MUCH…

Oh…I’m going G4 tomorrow… :D MWAAAH!!!

Oh, and... I got really disappointed wit how Revolutions ended. UGH. But... Neo is still HOT. ;p Things are so...tragic... Grr...


8:50 P.M.

“Hey! Nkrtng n rn kmi, higa ako kagad… *Phew!* kkpgod..! slip n ako, dnt tek 2 long h, :) gud nyt abbie!”

8:57 P.M.

“Opo.Yey! Nanjan ka na! Lalang.. :) t2pucn k nlng ‘to, tpos eat n ko, tpos ligo, tpos net saglit tpos 2log na! :) ..Una k n s dreamland.kta nlng tau ltr..Gudnyt!Mwwaah! :)”

And now it’s 12:30 A.M. Cool. Said I wus gonna sleep as early as possible since I have to be at the school by 9 A.M. to enroll. Then I gotta get back home afterwards, then I’ll be moving in by late afternoon. I wus staring at all of my stuff wondering if they were all gonna fit in the SUV.

I kept thinking about last night. How FUN it wus. :D

What if we all could meet in our dreams? What if this “dreamland” really existed. Haha! I’d be more than 3 hours late. Poor Kay. Waiting there as I told him I’d be getting ta bed as early as possible.

Oh, and I did forget some details. Alan is a real nice guy ta hang out wit. He had more than 3 Don Mariner’s. :D I didn’t really like the taste, but it wus GEUUHD. I think Don Mariner wus also responsible for Alan singing his very own version of “Bakit ngayon ka lang”… “ Baykit ngey-own ka layng, dumatiyng sa buhey kow, pilit binowbuksen ang sereydo kow nang pentow…” Man, is this really ALAN? He keeps cracking all these jokes. Gosh. He even sang it to his mum on the phone. HAHA! … cool guy. There wus this time he and Ben were arguing over something, and Alan almost hit me on the face. Drich wus standing next ta the bathroom door, then he and Ben pulled me behind them and they were just looking at Alan and smiling at him. Hyuk! He wus drunk, too.

I don’t know if I’d still have the energy by tomorrow. Fixing all my stuff in the dorm and arranging my binder. I got nu pix, but I wanna have the pictures taken last night developed.

Gosh. Now it’s 12:50. I hafta go get some sleep. Gotta wake up by 7 A.M.

Oh, cool… there’s this song on MTV. I believe in a thing called love. Then I remember. One of those chats Ja and I had. He wus jealous over some guy. Cus this guy actually hugs me, or puts his arms around me even when Ja’s around, so I’m like…Uhh…Ohkay…My boyfriend’s RYT there… hehe.. and Ja would just NOD. I told Ja… “Ja! I’m yours…ALL YOURS..” ( Go Sarah Deever! :D ) and he replied wit a smiley…then “sang” … Do you believe in me… I’m yours, you’re mine… :D oh gosh. Sometimes I like the feeling of someone saying…” Abbie’s mine na eh…” but sometimes…I just don’t like the idea of someone saying… I’m his property or something… but when said in a sweet way, I like that. :D lalang. It’s just good to belong to someone.

Okay, Okay, I’m sleeping already… hehe… BONJOUR! Hyuk. It’s 1:06 A.M.. obviously, I should be saying G’morning, ryt? :D

Sweet Dreams ta me…

ZZzzZZ… maybe I’d lie awake for a few moments after praying.

“When am I gonna find…feel BLISS?” … God knows.



430 P.M.- Got to ATC. Sat outside Starbucks, waiting for the rest. Texted Ben. Sez he’s still stuck on traffic. And that his brother, Paolo is at ATC, too… I looked to my right, there wus this guy sitting alone in one of the tables, thought it wus Paolo but wusn sure, so I just waited for someone to approach me as what Ben told me. Eventually, it wus Paolo.

“Uy… Ben’s gonna be here. malapit na daw siya”. He said as he wus pulling a chair out. He had this bag- and a FHM mag wit him. “I’ve been here since 10 A.M. and I haven’t done anything. No good movies…” Wo. 10 A.M. … all he did wus read? Sit? Ohhkay. Ben came a few minutes later… talked… finally we get to bond again. He shows me a pic of his gurl…she’s pretty. :D

Joel shows up wit his bestfriend “Alex” (who just flew in from Cebu a week ago ).

“Guys, we’re gonna go shopping or something..” Joel tells us as they pass by our table. After 30 minutes or so, Basil and Gail shows up, then Drichy and Zubair shows up. Accompanied Drichy ta Body Bench, then as we get back ta Starbucks, we’re all set! :D we wait for the van and we all hop in.

the sitting arrangement wus : Alex and Joel stays in front, then it’s Me, Aldrich, Paolo and Zubair. Behind us is Gail, Basil and Ben. As always, there’s mocking, and the spotlight’s on Basil. Zubair just mocked him and I’m like, “Nice one Zee..” then Basil says.. “Oh yeah, Dawg? watch out later…” … yea right dawg. UP YOURS. We stop over Joel’s place in Fort Bonifacio where “it’s just us” ( yeah baby…no parents, no sibs…we had the place all to ourselves. I don’t know if it’s a good thing. Hyuk.) Ben and I talked a LOT, I sat in this rocking chair, played music REAL loud, they eat Joel’s strawberry cheesecake, while Ben and I discuss about EHEM some important matters. Heart Matters. Drichy and Zee goes out to the terrace to talk, while Joel, Alex, Pao and Me decide to walk around. It wus cold, and dark. To think that it was the night of October 31.

As we got back, Drichy is laying down in this wooden sofa in the receiving area. There wus another rocking chair beside him so I sit on it. He looks at me. Then he smiles. Then I smiled back. I wus just “rocking”.

“Drichy, don’t you ever wonder…what…how we’re gonna look like when we grow OLD?” He smiles but he’s still texting. “I mean like, when our skin is all saggy, we start losing our teeth, you know?…eww..eww!” he looks at me and says, “ well I don’t really wanna think about that right now.” Hehe. Ohhkay.

I look out the terrace and find Ben and Zee talking. This is where Zee and I start talking, and he’s a really really nice guy. I used to think that he wus suplado. But he’s not. Ben leaves us ta go get his polo, then Zee and I talk about our life back in the Middle East, and what we wanna be, where we like hanging out… after Joel’s yaya left the place ( she brought us food and some blankets) , we all head ta Glorietta. As we get to G4, ( that wus past 11 P.M. by the way) we were already deciding on what movie ta watch…Uptown Girls, Identity. Uptown Girls, Identity… “If we go see Identity, we’re like 30 minutes late.” Just as we decide to go watch Uptown Girls, Joel looks at us and says, “Maybe we should just eat.” We all just turned right (which leads us ta Wendy’s ), Joel pays for everyone except Zee cus he and Drichy went in ahead of us. Of course, you could picture another LOONG table just like ‘The Last Supper’ … we were in the middle of eating all the French fries, some guy just comes looking at us.

“ALAN!” … Ben says. “Hi guys!”… wo. Is that Alan? Hehe… “Hey Alan!” I said. He replied wit “Oh, Hi Abbie!” then he sits on this vacant chair beside Joel, and says something to Aldrich which made Ben laugh really hard. Zee covers up for Aldrich. I don’t wanna say what Alan said, I know it wus a joke. :D after that we finally head off ta Eastwood. Got in Ipanema. Ordered a Cosmopolitan. Love the cherry. I threw the cherry’s stem in the glass, Drichy gets it and says, “wanna try tying a knot?” … I’m like, “NO…” he ended up trying it himself . cool. He did it. :D Alan ordered a Don Mariner for him and Drich and I ended up sipping more than twice on Drichy’s. tastes good. Then got another Cosmopolitan. In the middle of my second sip, Drich whispers to Zee and then he looks at me.

“ We’re gonna go eat. You wanna come?” His eyebrows meet. Then he smiles.

“ No, I’m okay…” I said. I finished my second Cosmopolitan. I could feel like the alcohol is rushing…to my head. My face feels so warm.

“ I want another one” I told Joel, who wus sitting next to me. Ben says “ Bie, he has like 300 left.” I told Joel I could pay it this time. But he didn’t let me. Said he still had about 500. okay. So he went up to a waiter and asked for a Cosmopolitan.

A few minutes later, the waiter puts down a margarita in front of me.

“Joel, what the- I said I wanted a Cosmopolitan, NOT a Margarita.” Grr. He wus like, “Did I say Margarita? – Oh my…” …I said it wus okay, and I would drink it anyway. So I did. Ben looks at me and says… “Bie, you’re flushed.” I kept telling everyone I wusn drunk and I kept banging the empty glass of Margarita on the table and I wus like, “ YOU – are gonna get me another one”… I kept talking and talking and talking and then I shut up eventually. After that “ I could see clouds right in front of me” line I told Ben. I see Drichy and Zee comin up the stairs. Drich accompanies me ta the Toilette Femme , and I remember holding his hands cus I just know I could go out of balance any minute. Damn. I AM DRUNK. But I partly know what I’m doing. Someone passed out in one of the cubicles. Cool. I’m there taking a piss and I could hear this gurl saying “Nikki, okay ka lang? Nikki, si Michelle ‘to, nag-aalala na ko saiyo, okay ka lang? ” over and over. I looked at myself in the mirror. Gosh, I DID turn into a tomato. Thanks to Drichy, who “made alalay”... we got back ta our table and he orders (check this out )a Weng-weng ( a stronger “version” of Zombie. Zombie wus like one of the drinks that got me drunk…), an Enigma, and a Mai-tai. Lemme see. Weng-weng+Enigma+Mai-tai+Don Mariner = a “you’re dead, man” line from Ben. (instead of a “you’re gone” line. Which is, a bit lighter. :D ) Drich can’t walk straight. My face wus so hot, and my eyes felt SOO heavy. Joel wus totally drunk. TOTALLY drunk. We get in the van. I lean onto Drichy and he leans onto me,too and all of us (except for Ben, Joel and Alan) fall asleep.

Past 4 A.M. we got back to the house and Joel brings out a bottle of Champagne. Gives a glass to Drichy.

“No, you’re not!” I screamed. He puts the glass right beside him. I wus still damn “dreamy”.

Aldrich got ta the bathroom first. Joel led me ta the other bathroom, as he lead me in, he just wet himself in the shower. Actually it wus just his head. And I looked around and it wus dirty. I said , “ I’m taking a shower on the other bathroom”. I wus going out of the bathroom and Joel ( soaking wet ) behind me, grabs both of my arms REAL hard and he says, “No, you’re taking a shower here!” . I got real scared and his grip wus so tight, it kinda hurt me.” I screamed real loud. “ LET ME GO!LET ME GO!” … went to the room where Ben wus and told him ‘bout it. After Drich, I got into the shower. Cool thing wus, Ben wus ryt out the bathroom watching the door for me. JUST IN CASE. Thanks ta Ben, he never left my side.

5 A.M.I wus sitting on the bed, and Drichy is right in front of me. Ben is standing by the door, his hair wet. “Aldrich, you’re staying here” I whispered to him as I wus pointing on my bed. I look at Ben and say “ You’re staying here, too.” And Ben says, “Right”… so I end up being sandwiched by these two guys which made me feel safe, but… the bed can’t really hold the three of us, so it wus pretty hard for us ta sleep. Especially Ben occupying more than half of the bed. It’s like, Drich is nearly leaning on my knee. Gosh you guys should’ve seen us. It wus funny. I wus falling asleep, but due to some SNORING, I end up wit my eyes still wide open ‘til past 6 A.M. Ben stood up. YES! FREEDOM! I stay on the side where Ben wus and there wus enough room for Drich. Ben starts tickling everyone, and everyone keeps falling on me, this lasted ‘til about 7 A.M., I asked Ben nicely… “guys, please let me get some sleep..” so he did. Actually we all did. Bleh. This time Ben had a hard time finding the right sleeping position since he wus at the corner. We sandwiched Drich. Hyuk. Drich, Me, Gail, Basil and Joel slept from 7- 11 A.M. Drich and I jumped out of bed when Ben barged in the room waking Joel up saying, “your Mom’s here”. OHHKAY. I got up, brushed my teeth, fixed my hair and washed my face. We were all talking for a few hours, then Joel’s Dad knocks and asks us how our gimmick went and all that. A real nice man. Minutes later, he comes in again asking us if we wanted ta join them ta the “LIBINGAN NGMGA BAYANI”. We all agreed ta have lunch there. We got in the van and Drich tells me, “I feel special.” Yes, we sure are. :D

We got down the van and we walked ta their tent. General Garcia wus leading the way.

“This is my Dad’s grave. Joel’s grandfather.” He says. I look around. There were a lot of people lighting candles. I look at all the white crucifixes. It’s like a totally different world in the Cemetery. How did these people live their life here on earth? The Cemetery is the ONLY place where … the living and the dead have this…”connection”. It kind of made me think. This day, should be ‘a celebration of life day’. Weird. It IS November 1, and I think of it as a “Celebration of Life Day”. Well I do have an explanation to this, but…

I still have a hang-over.

Anyways, we went back ta Joel’s house ( ahead of his parents ), then I insisted on taking a QUICK shower. After that we all headed ta Festi, where Basil and Gail left first, then Joel and Alan, then Ben and Pao… Drich stayed wit me ‘til my Uncle got to pick me up. Thanks Drichy. And thanks for the bag. Ima go use it when I get ta buy a bohemian frilly skirt. :D

About the title, well it’s one of the reasons why Zubair didn stay wit us after Eastwood. Zee, Pao and Joel were at the dining area. Me, Alan and Drich were at the receiving area. I wus laying down at that wooden sofa, Drich wus sitting on the floor, his head wus on the sofa, and Allen wus on the rocking chair. We were quiet, then all of a sudden…”You just came for Eastwood. You’re not even invited…” I hear those words coming from Joel. The wonderful words of Joel spoken to Zubair… Zee didn bother staying longer. A few minutes later, he wus putting his shoes on. Pao accompanied Zee all the way to the main road to help Zee get a cab.

If I missed anything out, I'll just post it... :D some other time. *yawn*

I'm ou-- ZZzzZZZ.... *thud*



Woke up at 6 A.M. feeling a lot more worse than last night. Went back to sleep. Woke up at 8 A.M. felt better, but then… OH, great. I got the colds. And sore throat. Great. Looked for that roll of tissue in the dresser… Had this flashback…Cameron Diaz from “ The Sweetest Thing” … lalang

A bin full of used tissues later, (eew) I popped the 3rd strepsil into my mouth. My grandma barged into the room later and handed me my medicine and told me to take it… thanks to her, she also bought me 6 choc’lit marble doughnuts. YUM-MY. Made my day.

Past 6 P.M.., I wus still sitting in the kitchen, chewing on turon. Finished half of it when I looked at the clock and it was 6:20! The heck! 20 minutes late for church! UGH. Got there at 6:30. Decided to just stay out (like all the other late people). Well, I din’t thank God for me being able to shift ( well I did, the day I got in, and the day after…) but I did pray for Lance. Pray he gets to shift, too. Don’t want him to leave… it would ruin everything. Hey, we are starting anew.

Cool. Tomorrow I get to go shopping… finally. Good thing Mum let me. But I won’t be shopping much by June… well at least I get to ‘celebrate’ being able to shift. It’s a big step. Y’all might think of it as something real shallow, but I thought it helped me see life in a new way. See where everything’s going. Guys, I got in. I did it. I will be what I wanna be. I will do what I wanna do. And this is just the beginning.

Guess I gotta go take another warm shower before I hit the sack. Gosh…I need a massage. It’s been centuries since I had one. If I wus in Jeddah, I’d call on to Mum and she’d massage me until I doze off. *sigh*… and whenever my legs hurt… miss my Mum.

Oh, and hey… Joel’s birthday is on Thursday. He says we’re gonna be doing the same thing… Eastwood as usual. Pray Mum lets me. *crosses fingers*



Oh, and… Abbiekins? Haha! It’s cute. Like it. Nice one Drichy. It’s so Veronica from “Archie”… I’ve been calling my Mum “Mummykins” ever since… (my Dad would really hate it if I called him Daddykins…just like Veronica..hehe…)

Can’t wait ‘til tomorrow! Hyuk. But…something else is bothering me. I have this weird feeling. Kay has been acting real weird. Jeez. I guess that’s what you get for not seeing a the person for…3 weeks. Haha. Funny. Wow…can’t wait to have that I.D. pic and finally get back to the dorm. Live a life again. Of course I do have fun wit my cousins and all that…I love these guys. But I wanna spend time wit you guys,too… I MISS Y’ALL ! SOOO MUCH!.. at least I still get to see you…some people I don’t…since October 12th. Ugh. Kay is one of them.

this is all something new for me peepz...


Arrived in Glorietta at around 11. Before Topshop,passed by Kikay...saw these really cute Newsboy caps.had a flashback of Heart in "my first romance" trailer...OMG. i'm in Kikay. Heart is Kikay's endorser. This nice lady comes up to me and says i should try one on...I'm like...",it's okay"...hehe..anyways, here goes the real thing: First stop: Topshop. looked around, found a top...tried it on. I'm not feeling it. looked around...found this white top...a white strappy, cowl neck top. tried it on...loved it!...hehe...i wus also supposed to get this stripped black and white tank top but then i remember Heart wearing the exact same thing for her Seventeen shoot. Okay. let's skip the tank top. Got another Black top...looks like a corset...then saw this really cute frilly mini skirt. But i might wear it...once,twice. not practical. decided not to. so i paid and we ate lunch...Pancake House. i love MMC:3! it's what me and mum always eat aside from Pancakes. hehe. Mum and I would always go on a date (aww)... we'd go Friday's, Don Henrico's...

...the last time we went ta Friday's this bartender wus giving us compliments about us looking like sisters. Mum looks at me, and here she goes wit the eye blinking... i'm like... "UGH"... hehe...but honestly i hear it everytime...anyways...

after lunch we headed ta G4 to check out U. XOXO... *inhales* love their tops... but then i looked at my left and i saw..... *drum roll*... BABY PHAT. sounding like Lance, i thought... THIS IS TYT! ... BABY PHAT IN THE HOUSE! hehe... hmm...then checked out Essenses. found NARS. darn, i remember the first time i got NARS,it wus about 1300...hehe. it's Nars, I'm like...since i have Nars, let's skip Nars and let's check out we did. JUICY TUBES!...i read in a mag that it tastes really sweet, just like strawberries. hey it does matter. #17. that's the color that matches my tone, but i already have that color...went to Bobbi Brown...decided to get a lipgloss there...passed by MAC, saw that really nice sales"lady" (hehe...he's gay but REALLY nice and pretty)... then went to Cinderella, my couz got herself a pair of Chuck Taylor's... then we went ta Mango... UGH. i shouldn't have let go of that XS basic white shirt!... grr... saw Megan Aguilar there. so i got this grey razorback tank top instead... i wus furious, i shouldn't have let go of that basic white matter what, i'm definitely going back for one. hmp!... next stop: Defect. really cute. really cheap. i could not believe my eyes. :D... after that, we went ta Beauty couz got...a lipgloss... (the one stolen from me...) then Guess... got a shirt...then...went to Tower Records. Unfortunately, no stock of Mandy Moore's "Coverage" and Lilix's album... went ta Powerbooks and i was supposed to get this book..."What are you going to do with it?"... i think... French Characters. really nice cover...but then found this book..."The secret dreamworld of a Shopaholic." read the synopsis. I'm like... hey, does the author know ME? hehe... although i had the other book in hand...i decided to let that one go. It did have a nice cover, there were french names and all also had the word shopping in it's synopsis,'s about this married woman...okay...the setting is in Paris, but...oh yeah... after Powerbooks, we got ourselves some Ice Cream in Dreyer's...

speaking of Ice Cream... BASKIN ROBBINS!... they have a stall in Greenbelt! AAAAHHH!!!.... :D French Vanilla...miss it... Dad and I would go Baskin Robbins, get half a gallon of ice cream... (you get to choose all the flavours...hehe...) and i end up eating it myself. :D I just love ice cream... Dad would get me either something from Baskin, or Mars Ice cream (YUM-MY!!!!) or M&M's Ice Cream...or Movenpick...Choc'lit Chip... OH GOSH... see why i miss Jeddah so much?...and the thing is... no Ketchup flavored Lay's here. darn it.

Anyways, got home past 6. tried everything on. decided what to wear ta Eastwood... :D read the book, then slept really early.


Got to read everyone's blog. Bummer. you guys did have fun, din't you? and you did watch the Baguio Angels, eh?... WOW. :D thanks for the pasalubong, Drichy...

Saw my fone wit Lance's name flashing... nice. at least my phone isn't flashing Joel's name this time. ugh.

Still no text from Kay. HMP! People nowadays...they say things they don't really mean. what is it wit you people? ugh. but i'm still thinking Kay isn't like that. na-uh.

i wanna take a nap. got a text from Alan at 8 A.M. asking if i wus going to that MTV thing tonight. i said i don't think i will be. though i want to. even if it's just being an extra, i want experience! wanna know what it feels like to be a part of something. even if it's just being an extra. haha. funny everyone says "everything starts from scratch"... hmm... got this funny thought...what if the artists turned out to be Salbakuta... uh... SHOOT ME RIGHT NOW!...exagg...

sometimes i figure i should go call Mr. Carlo Alberto ( i call him Big A... )again and arrange a meeting in his office to finally do a vtr. but... guess i SHOULD go CalCarries...or John Robert Powers. :D Ms. Mylene from John Robert Powers already texted me to go to their office in Legaspi to do an evaluation, but... OH WELL... :D

Read George's blog...saw Keith tag... Abbie, the new shawty of JOU!... hyuk.

Din't know buhay pa pala ung Burnham park. wow. the last time i went ta Baguio i wus 3. and i miss horseback riding. the last time i did that i wus 11. i even have a picture of it. terrible picture. eew.

anyways... gotta shut me peeperz!...

Bon apres-midi, guys... love y'all...


I wus supposed to post this the other day :

Exhausting. Fun. Coreshaking. – 3 words that could describe this day.

First of all, it IS exhausting since I slept for…6 hours. Had to go all the way to Dasma…jeez. Nothing really processed.Coreshaking since we got to talk to Ms. Sighari. Who, gave us a direct and negative comment about our stand in shifting. Fun, since we got Ed to give us a ride home. But the most fun part is the trip. We passed by Ed’s house in South Bay. Chill out for a few minutes while he packed his stuff. Afterwards, we went ta Festival… finally, finally got me a frapp and a pretzel from Auntie Anne’s ( thanks ta Ed, he treated me!..) … Len never stopped complimenting me but I hope she’d also focus on what she’s good and beautiful at. Lance, well… he practically made my day. Hehe.

Y’know… Ed is such a good guy. I mean, he took us home and I didn’t hear a single murmur. All he said wus…”nako…napasubo ata ako dito ah…” he wusn even blaming us. Basta. I really appreciate it. Everything. I pray he stays there ‘til we graduate. It’s also a good thing since I could just hang out wit him whenever the guys in the tropa are busy or something, or out.. right? … hehe. Lalang..

Ang kulit ni Drich. ;S

Thank God the guys ( Ed and Lance ) are finally back in Dasma now.

Okay…I…I…I think I’ve had enough for this day.

I gotta sleep. Tried calling Mik and someone answered. Someone just like him, but sez Mik’s in the shower… I dunno. I’m going….CRAZY.


IT”S OFFICIAL. I got in. Len got in. We got in. *freezes*


Hi, this is Abbie Almasco, a Broadcasting Journalism Student at the De La Salle University- Dasmarinas. AND I’M GONNA KICK ASS!... Doesn’t it feel good? This is what I want. This is what I really want.

But yesterday din’t start any good. I wus in the van (in Pacita) got this text from Len that she wus in Ed’s dorm wit Lance and that she had bad news. So I went ta Ed’s dorm. Unfortunately, Ms. Sigari told Len..”I can’t let you shift. That’s my final decision”… I kept cursing then. Later that afternoon, we found Mrs. Sarile at the CAD, so Len decided to get our waiver from Sir Aspra. Len went alone, while I was still in front of the CAD, binabantayan si Mrs. Sarile just in case she leaves the office…

“ABBIE!!!” … we heard Len scream as she wus going down the stairs. Good news. As Sir Aspra handed Len our waivers, he said… “ O, papirmahan nyo na yan kay Mrs. Sarile ” … we were jumping like stupid…but that’s not it. Mrs. Sarile wus really nice, and direct in a good way. She looked at us and said…” Oo nga, bagay nga kayo sa Comm. that’s the best comment I’ve heard in days. We took the written exam. The exact same test I took when I applied for AB-COM back in May 2002. I just smiled to myself. While we were taking the exam, Mrs. Sarile wus signing our shifting forms. *heart beats faster*

After that, we went upstairs and had Sir Aspra sign our shifting form. Before we left his office, we were like… ‘SIR!! SIR, THANK YOU!!!”… we were giggling and all that, and he said…” O, pakabait kayo dun ha…” we were still giggling. Then he said… “ ay, ang sasaya … we went out of the Dean’s office and we were screaming… Len even went inside JFH 209, and I just heard her… “AAHHH!!!!”… hehe. We saw Lance, and he wus like…” Ang daya nyo! “ Len hugged Lance and I grabbed his arm, and we were like… YEY! WE SHIFTED!...

After that we walked to the canteen to check Ed. I wus calling Mum… she wus like.. “ OH MY, YOU DID? THANK GOD!”… in the middle of hearing my mum scream, I said… “So, where’s my money?” she shut up and said… “HA?”… hehe. Kulit. I texted George, we were on the way to the Admin…then George called me. Afterwards I got a text from Aldrich, then texted Kay, then Upper, then Ayie, then Mik, then Ja, then Ed. Saw Mark at the admin. Congratulated us. I miss that guy, too.

So we jotted down the subjects we were gonna take. Left the school at around 5:55. eew! I wus sitting next ta a couple… a not so very ordinary couple. What the – is that a tomboy ? eew! They’ve been cuddling each other like… all they lack is a room. Got down at southmall, took another ride to Festi ta meet my couz. Went around wit her friends, treated her to dinner… got home at 9…took a shower…then I just kept texting…texting…texting…

…then Drich called… “ listen to the music! “ … heard HAPPY (the song Karl hates cus according ta him all you ever do is jump to it…) ..” C’mon, dance wit us! “… and I’m like…”Ohhhkay… you’re drunk noh?..” he isn’t. hehe. At least I think he isn’t.

what I wanna dance to? ME AGAINST THE MUSIC… “all my people on the floor…let me see you dance… “ YEAH… I must say Britney… outdid Xtina this time. Hey. She’s a lucky gal. She recorded a song wit THE legendary Madonna… gosh. And she gets to smooch Madonna, too! HAHA.

This is Abbie Almasco reporting… hyuk.


Good luck ta us tomorrow. We’re gonna be shifting. Finally. God help us. And we are gonna be meeting Lance. Yey!... Miss him. :D

...the three bratz went ta Glorietta yesterday. Aldrich is there again wit Zubair today.. Ugh. i wanna badly. but then i can't go there until i have all the money i've saved in hand. fine, i could wait. i'd rather sacrifice me not going to my second home for a while. (a while? that's 'til next year!)... yeah, you might think i'm exaggerating and all, but when i step into that mall, there's no stopping me. and i mean it. that's how i am. hehe. so i'd rahter not.

Oh, and to Mr.AIMAN DIZA..Moi, you're a rag addict too, eh?... Gosh, you and Lance SHOULD meet. i bet you're gonna get along really well, especially wit playing...Final Fantasy...and all that. jeez. good thing you're not into Counter... oh, and if you are... Hand me a gun. i'm gonna shoot myself. Kidding. Miss you, moi... :D Moi, don't worry about saving... you're gonna be a millionaire soon. wit that kind of talent? ... gosh. ;p well, unless you wanna walk out of the mall wit tons of shopping bags in hand, then i'm gonna tell you to start saving right NOW. hyuk!... enjoy playing moi... uhm...i'll try playing rag...whenever. :D

Bryan texted, asked how everything's goin...he din't even say "It's Brian"... he jus said... C2. hehe. i call him C2. he's crazy #2. Guess who's number 1. ANA! MOI! hehe. i miss everyone in Kuwait.

and my friend Adnan texted and called me. from Jeddah. got my smart number from Nica.all of my friends are in the damn school! and i'm here...but yeah. cool. i miss him. this guy used to court me, but then i didn't really turn him down, just that... well, it all started when this guy "yeye" asked his help to court me...later on, Adnan started courting. gave me all these flowers and all these chocolates... we ended up being REALLY CLOSE FRIENDS. he's my kuya. :D and he used to stay wit me in school 'til 6 P.M., esp when Ja couldn't stay wit me. aww...miss those days.

You know what i miss about having a boyfriend? I remember this one time when Ja and I were the only ones left in my classroom, and i wasn't feeling really well,i just hugged him REAL tight. Kissed me on the temple...and i remember feeling really good after that. and when i feel really down about something, expect his shoulder to be there...and expect someone kissing my hand, telling me everything's gonna be fine. and i'm like... darn. that's all i need. and i used to think...Ja is all i need. God, i do miss Ja a lot. miss hanging out wit him..

anyways... gotta get some sleep.

i love you guys. wish you luck!..

--+> xoxo Lia*


ta all the dormers... the sight of all those clothes hanging out of your dorms will shock you...

haha! i couldn't help but wonder... who's staying in my room?... *bites nails* pray it's not some pig. when i get back to the dorms, i'ma clean the bathroom REALLY well. and pag-pag my mattresses and... okay...i'm exaggerating. :D




Nope. It doesn’t mean that my life if full of love, nor anger. It’s what’s missing. Love. Oh gosh. Missing? Err… or am I just running away from it? … from what’s really there? … like I always say, “ I’ll never know…” unless…

There are some people that…I’m really confused with how they really want things to be. That could be the thing holding me back. If you look at it, it’s really weird.. Love is holding me back from Love. Whoa.

Hope I get back to shore soon.



sunny. full of hope.

just want to remember this day. one of the days in which i've felt really positive about everything. except one thing, which i don't wanna think wus part of the day.

what's important is, i'm back. back to being the Optimistic girl everyone knows.

At least i still have myself.

"I love you too, Richard. But i love ME more." ...

- Samantha Jones is one smart woman.

it's cool cus a character of mine could be found in these 4 women. :D i dunno what you guys think about it, but it's what i think...

oh well...

I'm still praying i get into Journ. Love you guys...

oh, and today... God wus wit me! :D


Watched the season finale of Dawson's Creek. Ugh. what a tearjerker. Jen died? i'm like... WHAT THE - Jen had a baby AND died?... Gosh... the episode is like...beautiful AND tragic at the same time. but oh well... things like those happen in real life anyways... Joey and Pacey finally got together. Joey said something that hit me. i don't know if i should say it, but... Pacey said ... "you're off the hook"... and he explained further, and as far as i remember this is what he said...that he loves Joey, but then he always thought that there wus never "the right time" for both of them...but then he has always loved her, and he thinks it's better for Joey to be loved by Dawson, or any guy that would feel just the same way as Joey makes him (Pacey) feel.. "so, you're off the hook!.." ... and Joey replied wit..."for the record, i don't wanna be off the hook. Pacey, I love you. I always have."... and she explained how "REAL" it always felt, and how scared she wus,so she just kept running away..."and if you let me off the hook, that's just gonna keep me running away..."... COOL... haha. No comment.

Today i went to school..took me 5 rides before i got to school. UGH. don't ask. anyways... just as we were about to talk to to Ms. Mahsa Sigari (yes,... THE Ms. Sigari..), we were told that uhm, she probably wusn the one in charge of the "evaluation"... thanks to this guy Lloyd* (*tell you more about him later)... who lead us to Mr. Harold Palad, who interviewed us... to me he was really challenging. Challenging in a good way. So, he asked me these questions... haha. i felt like... shaking. that was a coreshaking moment!... hyuk...

Anyways, yes...about this guy... so he helped us... I'm thankful for that. but then, we were walking on our way ta square to see Ed before we leave...

*beep beep*... we turned ta see Lloyd in his car, asking us ta "jump in"... i hesitated...then i'm like..."No, we're okay..." but he made this sad face... so Len wus like.."sige na nga!.." so we rode...i wusn really comfortable wit... those. anyways, so we were dropped near A's. thanked him for the ride and all that. after we got Ed out of the stall, we asked him to walk us to Gate 1. Saw Lloyd again.

.."Uwi na kayo?.." i nodded.he smiled and drove away. when i got to Pala-Pala, i checked my phone. "boyfriend mo? baka kc may magalit e..."... i just said something like... "it's like, we're together but we're not..." ... i just made something up. i'm sick of these guys tripping... i dunno. i'm flattered, but i'm sick of it. don't get me wrong, okay? ... but yeah. the way i look at it... how i feel about it... i'm just SO ... sick of it. i don't even know who's serious, and who's playing... of course, i DO KNOW a few people who are at least SERIOUS being friends wit me. but then i don't, really. it's just good to take time getting to know each and everyone... who's capable of taking care of me... i mean, really...really, take care of me... i'ma the start of the relationship, i want the guy to "take care of me"... i'm going through a lot. you have NO idea.

Oh, it's SATC. :D... i just COULD NOT believe Samantha broke up wit Richard!... jeez.

there are some things worth gambling on.



gosh... can't wait 'til tomorrow...! :D



that's how things are to me now. partly sad...and partly clear.

i thought 'd be writing whatever color depicts my life each time i blog.

finally got myself doughnuts. yey.

but there's still something missing...

I KNOW!...

i'm in dire need of a Topshop Tank top... AND...a frapp (of course...i've always been in dire need of one...) hyuk. how shallow of me...

but then...i just can't wait 'til all of this is over. 'til everyone is living their lives the way they wanna... i mean, just...i guess when i see everyone else happy...but then...the thing i definitely can't wait ta happen is when God finally takes this blindfold off...ta finally stop wondering who i should really be with. there. i said it. :D but when? God knows.

everything happens for a reason.

i'm excited about shifting! :D

uhm... he told me he wus gonna last a week without texting me... hyuk! until i texted him...

..what? i just miss him... so yeah...since he mentioned it...i won't text him starting tomorrow...i guess it's not testing him.i guess it's helping him. he wanted ta do it in the first place anyways. haha. the thing is, would Ibe able to it?that long?a long...for me...but.. oh well, if he could then i could. i bet he could last YEARS not talking to me. so i guess i could do that too... hmm..

Cherchez La Femme...Puquiqe vous parlez en voyage... Le Brasier...Tu es toujours la.... like these french songs. hmm...maybe i should go ask Tower Records for...some french, i won't be buying a Tina Arena or Celine Dion album... imagine me singing in french...i don't even know what i'm saying but yeah. hey, i used to sing Larusso songs back in high school. :D O ne saimera plus jamais... haha. i forgot...but of the songs...i think.

hey. finally saw THIS IS THE NEW SHIT video. from Matrix Reloaded. Marilyn Manson cool...

(haha! Nessie used FISH instead of F**K back then...)

oh well...

i miss Eminem. don't you?...

have you heard about 50 cent getting this 4.1 million dollar house? 16 rooms...38 bathrooms... *faints* *thud*

hehe... uhm.. okay..i'm starting to sound like a joel. OMG! i'm having Joelitis! and as my dawg...Basil always say... the only cure to Joelitis is... nah... don't wanna bother him. *bleh*...

Kay still doesn't have any load... gosh... ako pa nakaubos...kakahiya... ...

Bon-apres midi! ... mwah!


Confused and Shifty at the same time? uhm... Hey, i didn't wanna be shifty in the first place! it's all this confusion... honestly... with these people...all i ever do is i said, nothing is official as of now. like i told Lancy, i'm confused,too... i just had to blog whatever i felt... it helps. :D a text from Drich about them going to Glorietta. darn. i wish i could go...but... wow, believe it or not, i'm actually saving my money 'til May... lalang...i just wanna have something new by the time i turn 18... some of the things i really want... and the ones Mum didn't wanna get me before... HAHA! now's my chance...ta grab what i wanna! ;p *bleh*... it's exciting! :D and i'ma be going to a spa! hyuk...

Lance...don't blame God for not giving you what you want. He did. She did. She just didn't wanna. Get it? :D It's good you're finally starting to be "religious religious"... again... :D fun. let's go to church together sometime.

Yea. let's just see how everything turns out.

Guys don't cry, eh?... hyuk. i think i can name a few... :D

...hey, my life is unstable, too! i could be thinking of this other person in a minute and think of another person the next!... sometimes i end up screaming with the pillow in my face... because it's driving me MAD!...REALLY mad. and i always don't know what to do about it.. but it's funny as i start to get to know them better i'm like... "tsk tsk... bawas points! " hehe.. especially the ones really hard to deal with. you'll know who's sweet, who's the gentleman, who's the playboy, the prick, the perv and the klutz. and don't forget, you'll also know who's the one wit disorders... i didn't mention any name!... HYUK! y'all know who it is!...

i didn't have doughnuts for breakfast. Grr. I'ma go withdraw some money and I'll be taking this i.d. pic, requirement for shifting...

George...thanks huh... can't wait ta see AB BROADCAST JOURNALISM on my I.D. ! AAAHH!! :D

Gee, i wonder wut you guys are up to now... you in g1, g3... you sippin a frapp? *drool*... is it Vanilla? i want an Ensaymada... i love their Ensaymada... oh, and where are you eating? Friday's? Don Hen? can i have a bite of Buffalo Wings?... can you guys wait for me here while i stop by Topshop,Mango,U,Essenses,Beauty Bar and Defect?...i really don't like shopping wit guys around. well, i guess Lance could tolerate that attitude of mine.even if he hated me being such a Madonna. i'm sure he'd still help me pick a top... hyuk. so, where are you guys right now? so will you wait while i shop?..argggh! i'm durreeming again. Although i will do that before 3rd year. right before i turn 18.

well...honestly, maybe you're not taking it THAT seriously, but what if I am, right?...that's how i's like...before i even get into the relationship i try to see what it would feel like if i get into it, and if it lasts...would "we" go anywhere, what about the future? ...

Watched SATC? Carrie wus SO right about one of her "i couldn't help but wonder" wonder....

What's the harm in believing?

... :D

Bonjour and Have a nice day y'all...




This day is FUN. Let’s see… I went ta church… but before that, my couz and I stopped by Jollibee (haha! :D ) ta get a Mushroom and Cheese burger… (finally found a reason ta go eat at Jollibee…) then… just as my couz wus ordering my second burger for moi, this couple came in, all snuggled up to each other…actually SHE wus ALL OVER HIM. My couz gave them THE stare just as she wus carrying the tray to our table cause she caught them showing off their pucker skills. … we both are liberated, but even the most liberated person in the world would find it disgusting. Talk about doing it at the wrong place and at the wrong time. And besides, the way they hold each other… it’s like… what they lack is the key to a motel room or something. So after they ordered, the guy went to go look for a table to sit in and the gurl went to the bathroom… after a few minutes, she got out, stood still somewhere near our table, staring at her bf, and smiling at him, then went back to the bathroom… after that she came out… talked to this guy who she didn’t even know and she was starting to caress him, and he pushed her away… and he’s like…”do I know you?..” … I wus just holding back, but deep inside I wanted ta laugh the hell outta me… then she talked to this waiter… she wus like, touching his face and all that… my cousin and I couldn’t help but just… look and smile at each other. Gosh. What is it with people today? … haha. Reminds me of that sinasamba kita incident… hyuk.

Anyways, went to church. Prayed for everything… shifting, happiness… for all you guys… :D

We got home… my cousin took a shower… I wus in my room, as usual channel surfing…then my cousin barged into the room in her towel… I grabbed my towel.. (my turn!..) when MTV started playing Rivermaya’s top 10 videos, one of them which turned out to be a Boy George video…I always teased my cousin about her looking like Boy George… HYUK!... so she started dancing around…I joined her…and I’m like… AAH!... I’m taking a shower! So…after that… I barged in the room in my towel… haha… then they were playing MC Hammer’s “can’t touch this” video… haha…then we were like…dancing around in front of the mirror!... I wus doing this pulp fiction dance like crazy!...UGH! you couldn’t imagine… hehe… my couz tied her hair up and she looked totally 80’s…so I did my hair, too… then we all went ta the kitchen…ate dinner… but before that we were even making fun of a lot of things… lalang… got a text from Kay…it’s sweet…he doesn’t have any load, and yet he still thought of texting me goodnight… :D then, my younger cousin and I were fighting over the last pancit canton left … haha!... I like, put it in my shirt and I said…”don’t even dare!”… but she wus pushy…so I ended up sitting on it…haha! I WON! *bleh*

… then we all headed back to the room, I wus sitting on my bed…then my cousins were like… “Ate Abbie, could you hear that noise?...” … I said no… then this crazy thought came up to my cousin… “ di natin alam , binu-buldozer na pala bahay natin noh? … and she said we’re gonna be doing this version of “Thank You”… haha!!!.... gosh… if you guys were here you would be laughing your asses off… jeez.

What the hyuk? … I’ll Never Break your Heart is on MYX. Haha! Reminds me of Sixth Grade. Reminds me of Ja. The mushiness.. I miss that feeling… ;p HYUK!...

We’ll be going to the school on Tuesday. We’ll finally be shifting. I claim by next sem we’re gonna be official Journ students… yes we will…

Bonsoir!!!! MWAH!

--+> xoxo Lia*


BONJOUR!!! ... hehe... je suis francais, y'know... ;p

yeah, watched MTV Mush last nuit... cool... liked some of 'em... I'ma download those french songs... i remember... i do have that Larusso CD... liked most of her songs... anyways...

COMPLIQUE. que be comment tout be a moi... et rien de a du autour de il.

haha. if some french guy were reading my blog, he'd probably say... (in tagalog) ... BAROK!!! and laugh his head off... My cousin Karin (who's half-German by the way..) studies in this I.S. in Alabang and they got French Class... i'm like..."you are SO lucky to be having french class..." ... she says she's not really good at it... but yeah... anyways... it's been... 6 years before we got to see each other again... she's thin, and she's got really long legs and i'm like.."now that's what you call a

'model' " ... :D

darn. i'm hungry. no doughnuts yet. grr...

can't wait 'til i get ta shift and get back to the dorms. i'ma be fixing my dorm... i mean, really fix it... back in Jeddah i used to fix my room...i mean, move my bed and couch around...haha... give it a new look...every 3 weeks... where's that side of me now? i want it back! ... hehe...

i also can't wait 'til we get our own house... and where... i told mum sa Southvale nalang or BF homes or Southwoods (take note: Golf course!!!...) or Southbay.. what Mum all depends on me Dad... and i want a car! ... Camry... ;p i'm sure they won't approve of getting me a Beetle... hyuk. but yeah... also,i really wanna go Europe! ... can't wait 'til all that happens... i swear... but yeah...i am enjoying life.

uhm... just wanna say...

muchos gracias para la amor tu tener ver give mi. yo se es estupidez para mi a dejar tu libre complice yo todavia amor tu de alguna manera... it's been hard enough for me. a esconder todo esta a me. i know someday you'll understand. but honestly,ver it is tu yo suenyo acerca de. but then... i'm starting to dream about somebody else now...

George... that person you might think will bring me happiness... well, it might turn out to be someone else... it might. but if it will... i don't know, but... if he really will bring me happiness then i'll go for it. but if someone comes, and the person who's been there all along is the one i see, then i'll go back. i'll go pick him up. but i can't do that right now. things are different now.don't wanna ruin what he's starting, and cause another havoc in his life. i've caused enough.

i plugged my earphones and practiced french. i have this CD that "tuitors" french... i guess drinking Evian would definitely help twisting this darn tongue o'mine... HAH! that's a fallacy! ;p

i swear, when i got all my classcards, i'm like... i'm officially gonna be kissing my Consti, Retorika, Logic and BioScie books au revoir! HAHA! ...

... now i could say that i don't love you no more...and i could say that i've closed the door,to our,i just wouldn't be the same.. cus your love is...still on my brain... -- Justin T. is definitely talking my lang.

i got to fix my binder again! :p i found this really cool TOPSHOP ad in Elle Magazine... the one i bought in Singapore..way back April 2001... haha. our flight wus delayed for another 5 hours cus of those magazines. haha... my mom had to had her Singapore dollars to US dollars to pay them... then we were late... hehe!we even had to pay... ;p you should've seen the look on my mum's face... but she didn't really get mad at me...anyways, now what i need for the binder are... tropa pix..i'ma borrow the negatives from George and Aldrich... (the one's taken in Kameraworld in Festi...) GUYS! need them for my binder...

AND...i'ma finally get a studio picture... :D

Kay told me sabay daw kami matulog last night at 10...i ended up sleepin at 1 A.M. cus i watched THE BODYGUARD! haha... what?it's a nice movie... hyuk. uhm... ubos nanaman load nya... haha... wawa bibi...i'm sorry, kay... *bites fingers*

and Ben called me!!! GRABE... miss him so much. in the middle of the convo, Joel called up. he wus at a debut, and Drich wus there,too... right after Joel called, Drich texted...told him Joel called...and he wus like..."ahh..i just saw him out in his fone...kaya pala " ..hyuk. about Ben, we both feel the same way...about certain things. it's cool, he understands me. :D

anyways... bon-apres midi guys...

--+>xoxo Lia*


LOOKIE!!! got this in my HS webbie...

15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

khh khh... emphasized some of 'em... ;p

... basta... :D


what's wit the stupid codes? arrghh...


3 doughnuts, 2 mosquito bites, and a text message. It’s what I had this morning.

It’s nice to see Ja tag. Haha. Wrote his name backwards. Crazy. ;p

Anyways… yesterday… Thank God… answered half of my prayer… I didn’t get anything lower than 1.25 … I know, mababa pa yun but honestly it improved… and my GPA is …exactly just what I need to be able to shift.

Well yesterday wus supposed ta be…all … good… since my grades turned out well… but… an old friend of mine approached me… told me some stuff that I don’t really know if I should believe in…but it looks like she’s telling the truth this time since I have proof…

See, back in first sem, I was into this guy… and we started texting. And he wus kinda courting me… well yeah, and just as I was gonna say “yes” … the guy I wus texting turned out to be his friend, who was into me… (yeah, I know… such a-holes)… it’s funny how things were way back then… so… this guy I liked told me that. His friend kinda asked if he could court me before I even started liking this guy but I said “no”… so after that incident, I stopped talking to them and all that… then… we patched up…

After that stupid pageant (w/c wus second sem) … my prof way back first sem took us to dinner (including that guy I liked back then..) there wus 4 of us… me, him, my prof and another classmate. In the middle of dinner, my prof and classmate left the table and I wus kinda freakin out, cus … he asked to give him a chance, and he apologized for everything… and… here I go with the “NO” … so, yeah… I just let it all pass…and I eventually forgot about it.

Yesterday… this friend of mine told me… that this guy I wus into before, and his friend… fought cus of me.. they had this exchange of “eh mahal ko parin si Abbie” lines… sure, I should be really flattered… but… I’m sad… nakakasira na talaga ako ng buhay ngayon...kahit di ko naman ginusto..

Haha. The funny thing is that, another old guyfriend of mine came to me, and did that “sinasamba kita” thing… he wus like, bowing and all that… he wus like… “Abbie, sinasamba kita…pwede bang manligaw? Kamukha mo kasi si…” yada yada yada… “pwede bang mahingi number mo?” … I said No, and he said ‘Ang Yabang mo naman!” … so, Ayie and Len to the rescue!... they were interrupting him and all that, Ayie ended up giving her number… she winked at me as she wus writing the number down on a piece of paper… *whew*… turned out, he wus “high” from Mary Jane. Oh gosh… It pretty much freaked me out, in a way… but if George were there, he’d say…”another barkada moment brought to you by Abbie… “ hyuk.

Speaking of George, we were at the COS guidance office for like, 2 hours… we were waiting to talk to the person in charge of the “trip to Baguio…” I knew it. I’d turn out like Ate Blair, too… Dad said no. hyuk! … the thing is, we were waiting for a long time, and the time we got to talk to him, I had ta leave ta get my classcard… and no one wanted to go wit me EHEM… right, Aldrich? … so yeah, anyways… I went ahead… and … met Len… she wus waiting for me there… on my way home, saw Paolo… and we took the ride ta southmall together… kinda miss doing that… usually I’d go around the mall alone… but I’d be walking really fast, and I’ve already had a few traumatic experiences wit walking alone and all that…

Oh, and Congratz ta Upper… *wink wink*

…oh wellz… IT AIN’T OVER ‘TIL IT”S OVER….

Ja… if you ever get to read this… THANKS! ;p miss you… miss all of you…

Maya called me up yesterday…right after I saw Lancy… it’s like, there wus this cold air… I miss Lance narin…

George, good for you. And if she did say anything…ignore her… hyuk. Thank God! I knew you weren’t gonna be my classmate…

And about that BIATCH in the e-house… UGH. ang mga tao lately nawawalan na ng magagawa kaya ba saakin nalang binubuhos yung galit nila? … but Kay is right… BAHALA NA NGA SILA SA BUHAY NILA… *tee hee* guess I gotta wear my cheerleading uniform, join my sister Kirsten Dunst, and do that cheer…. Haha! …

…oh hyuk… I just heard MAYBE and now I’LL BE… I’ma sue … 101.9 for this!!! And my neighbours… who always play the radio like there’s no tomorrow…

this is it guys. I’ma be optimistic. By next sem, I’ll be an official Broadcast Journalism student… that goes for Len, too…I’m gonna be missing my classmates though… and this is gonna be a new adjustment for us…but yeah…I have Len wit me anyways…

Thank God for everything… I have… and… did have… didn’t have… and will have. There’s a reason for everything, y’know…

xoxo Lia*