DON'T BE TOO OBVIOUS? thanks to whoever tagged that... :D i really appreciate your concern... :) but then is there something wrong wit what i have been posting lately? OH! i know what you're talking about...but then...uhm... i won't mind... so much more to think of...



i didn't ask for all this to happen! honestly... i'm shocked wit all the things i have just been realizing...the things i have been hearing...texts i've been getting...people texting me...people ignoring..people who mind too much... people who ask me out.... {WHAT THE HYUK... Joseph just asked me out...} uhm....now he's like...he just wanted 'ta know me better...uhm..okay, i gues... *mind wanders off*



help?



Am I the only one who actually sees texting in a different way? I believe it could help people get ‘ta know each other, ryt? Probably express what you feel…y’know…the things you can’t tell each other personally… but I don’t think it should be the basis of… I dunno… I don’t wanna..uhm… say anything…{but the heck..this is my blog…}



Awhile ago, on my way to Alabang, I looked out my window…the sky wus really pretty… I mean…the clouds were like, light blue… the sky wusn really dark…but it wus close ‘ta getting dark… then… I dunno… all these mixed emotions came into me… I felt happy, I felt sad, I felt irritated, annoyed, (noticed that there’s just one positive feeling…the rest is negative…) that’s why I texted a few of you guys… just wanted ‘ta talk to someone… but it seems like everyone else had problems of their own… well I understand. I felt that way. I had this HUGE problem once and Len wus trying ‘ta tell me her problem, and I couldn’t even bear hearing her out anymore cus it would make me weakER… it sucks. I know you guys hearing me out could just make things worse… so yeah… :)

And now “someone” told me not to be too obvious…TOO OBVIOUS OF WHAT?

Why am I always misunderstood? The heck… I gave this advice of not minding those people…but I guess wut really bothers me is that I’m not really doing anything, to make people react this way… am I doing something wrong? Did I step on someone’s toes or something? Wut? Is it the way I walk, the way I fix my hair…that irritates people? Or is it the people I hang out wit? (not that I’m mentioning any of u..just that..) Is it me bragging sometimes, or trying ‘ta be honest, or wut..? come on, guys… tell me, wut is wrong wit me? ..i guess…I really should isolate myself from you guys muna… I’ve been thinking about it before… but some of you were like, “No, don’t leave…” but then..things are getting worse…

I wanna share something weird that happened…but I can’t since it involves some people in the tropa… no guys, uhm…it’s not really a problem…just that… I just… I can’t take it anymore… enough of hiding it behind this…smile… whenever I’m wit y’all I’m really really happy…especially when Karl does all these jokes, and when Kelvin and Brian join in…when Basil mocks…when Len cheers me up…but whenever I’m alone…whenever I just let my mind wander off to things… y’know…just let anything come ‘ta mind… I just… have all these thoughts… it’s been trapped in me… then it just adds up…until I wanna explode…but then who would listen to me now? My high school friends, who would have NO idea of what I’m gonna be talking about, People in the tropa who has their own problems...People who aren’t interested… People who have so much to think of, that they couldn’t even find time…’ta lend their shoulder… I know I’ve been lending mine…why is this always happening? i mean, WHY IS THIS ALWAYS HAPPENING?



Why am I always misunderstood of my actions, why do people judge me this way… and now someone’s like…don’t be too F***ing obvious? Where did that come from? HUH?



Y’know wut, guys, I’ve been trying ‘ta build this… friendship…then we kinda encountered a problem… then somehow, some things change afterwards… I dunno…I just don’t get it… basta all I know is that I used to be happy… and now, this… it’s like, you find comfort in this person, then people are like, pushing you away, you try to fight back but then this is wut you get in return…is this how it always goes?



But I guess as I always say…when I get through this, I’ll be so damn proud of myself. Again – another accomplishment. I’ve just made myself stronger… :) you wouldn’t see the beautiful things in life unless you’ve gone through life the hard way…but then I get this feeling..can’t breathe, can’t think well…can’t study..Mum keeps talking ‘ta me but I can’t absorb wutever she wus saying… this is so stupid, like, my mum is leaving on Sunday, I should pay attention ‘ta her… something A LOT MORE important than this, and some guy/gurl telling me not to be too obvious. I don’t know wut the hell I did wrong. Being too obvious? obvious that I WUS happy talking about the things that have been happening around me? … … …



Oh well…



this day is just...UNBELIEVABLE. wow. thanks to uhm...y'allz...



here i am guyz... no one to turn to... no one to cry to...i've been there for y'all somehow...cud you guys like,somehow do the same,too? not that i'm expecting, but i know that's what you guys are for, ryt? we should have this win-win sitch but... i guess it's karma. OMG.

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