Guys, I know you have been listening ‘ta me…but wut I really need right now is someone who could help me get thru this. Y’know how I really feel right now? Somewhat exactly like that song from Avril…uhm, I’m wit you…y’know… the feeling that…you don’t really care who, but just as long as he could help you, make you feel like you’ve found home… I dunno… “it’s a damn cold night, trying ‘ta figure out this life…won’t you, take me by the hand, take me somewhere new…I don’t know who you are, but i…I’m wit you…” I’m still lost… I mean, I know I found a place to stay, but then all this happened…for a reason, then I guess I wusn’t really meant ‘ta be there, but I wanna… it’s weird. I just don’t get it. Everything is temporary. My happiness, my friends…do you guys get me? I hate it… when I think I found that person I could just cry to, I could lean on, things happen, like, in a blink of an eye everything changes…



Oh well… George, you hate taking naps? Funny… I like naps a lot. :) well, I know the feeling of like, missing half of your life, but ‘ta me, it feels like I somehow have escaped from all the bad elements around me… it’s where I could find peace… {me in the dorm alone… the a.c. on, it’s so darn quiet…I just like ‘ta snuggle up on that comfy bed and those soft, soft pillows… I usually spray cologne on my pillows, y’know…hehe… :) and before I take my nap, I usually take a quick shower…WOW… feels good…} wut is happening to us Cancerians? My gosh…



If I could only do wut I have been doing back in Jeddah… hehe… I light all my candles surrounding the room, shut the door, play soft music, put some incense, lay on my bed, *it’s really cold* then stare out the window…watch the sunset…I miss the scent of my room! (ja loves it,too… :D ) *sigh*… I had so much time to myself. I didn’t have to do all this “soul searching” back then… I wus never puzzled, confused, hurt like this…back in high school…I guess me and Lance feels the same way now… (if he ever still does…) I wanna go back…way back to when all of this haven’t happened. I wanna change things. I wanna do more.



I shouldn’t have gotten into this….

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