Inspite of all the nega stuff I’ve been feeling, something good comes out… haha… y’all might not really notice since I don’t really show my belly off, but…but…but…MY HIPS GOT BIGGER! Haha.. no, Lance NOT VERY BIG, but it’s kinda emphasized now…somehow.i wanna keep it like this ‘til March… hahaha… BORACAY, HEEERE I COOMMME! Hahaha… :D I’ma buy this white swimsuit… and some flip flops…and a nu beach bag… and I wouldn’t..by any chance, forget that damn sunblock… :D



Things I want accomplished this year:



--+> ‘ta save 500 every month from my miscellaneous money and spend it on Topshop and Beauty Bar…*wink* ( I wanna save up about 3000 IF possible…I’ma be spending it on our tropa gimmicks next March..i wanna accomplish this THIS TIME..PUHLEASE!)



--+> ‘ta shift ‘ta Broadjourn (God help me!!)



--+> ‘ta be organized…ESPECIALLY when it comes to my academics… Lance kept on reminding me about the point average I had ‘ta get…it really helps Lance…thanks…uhm..try ‘ta remind me some more… *wink*…



--+> try being MORE independent… (uhm… )



--+> Learn how to face my fears… *gulp*



--+> gain MORE weight…. Haha… :D



Abbie…”don’t be lost, hurt, tired and lonely, something beautiful will come your way….” ;)



I need somebody to talk to… but no one’s texting me… *sigh* I didn’t wanna text you guys…cus I’m kinda checking if any of you feel like I need you…cus that’s wut a friend really is…you somehow just know a friend of yours isn’t feeling well… haha…Joel is on the phone right now…good thing there’s Joel to talk to… *sob* I guess I’m expecting too much on some of you.. :) oh well, that’s what friends are for…I don’t wanna smoke, or drink either…I just wanna let this all go..but how do I do that? Everyone’s fed up of me. Everyone’s saving their load. Everyone’s busy fixing their life.Everyone’s busy screwing it up, too. Astrology says Cancerians never do drama. But that’s all that’s left in my life right now. And there’s nothing to do about it.



Oh, Len texted… thank God for Len… of all the people I texted today… just Ben and Lance replied… other than that… na-uh… I’m not saying AT LEAST..i’m saying…good thing they replied.. haha… I’m important pa pala… *wink* *sob*



“I’m tired of being alone…so HURRY UP and care..”



if I could just sleep 2 years of my life away, I’d do that. Sleep my problems away, sleep the hurt away, sleep all the pain away, sleep all the crying away, and sleep my lovelife away…



I forgot my tea tree oil at the dorm! It’s my zit-zapper… now I kinda need it…cus I’m starting ‘ta have one. Two words : Eeww and Ouch…



This day is full of sappy songs and movies. The way we were? Say Goodbye? Dammit. And now “sunny came home”…”smoke”…



God please help me… I’m in this pit again, and I don’t like it here… it’s so dark, and lonely…



{pause}



Ben and I just talked on the phone right now... Funny how we started conversation with tears in my eyes and ended wit this big smile on my face. Ben is just so good at that...



we kinda misunderstood each other. i said sorry, for the things i did... he did the same... and it kinda lessened the pain.. knowing that we FINALLY patched things up... cus i wus kinda hurt...about all these advices... i know Ben cares a lot, that's why... well i guess i'm lucky that he actually does...



I should feel lucky that some people do care THAT much. to THAT certain extent... :D



why all the moodswings?



i don't like people avoiding me for things i didn't do... people calling me names... people judging me like this...



DON'T BE TOO OBVIOUS. FILIPINA TRAIT STILL WORKS... ang lakas ng dating ha...

i won't be a hyprocrite not to say that this doesn't affect me...but then...too obvious? of what? being happy? is there something wrong wit being happy?



weird. these are the type of days i wanna say : COULD YOU GO ANY FASTER? yesterday wus like : COULD I JUST STOP THE WORLD, MAKE THIS DAY LAST, or somethin'?



i'm being too emotional. notice...in a day, i blog, like....3 or 4 times. just talking about how i feel... probably...y'all don't really read this, and i'm kinda okay wit that, as long as i just let it all out...



when i made my decision, i wus so scared of the outcome. so scared of wut people would say, would think of me, i'm scared i might regret it. i'm scared it won't go anywhere. i'm scared i assumed the wrong thing.i'm scared i made the wrong move. but i hafta face them...i have to...









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