2003: LE AN-FIN RAPPORT



What a year. I look back at everything. From my favorite songs to my favorite moments. Just as I was swallowing my dinner , I thought to myself : “What the heck did I do this year?... did I make the most out of it?” Yada-yada-yada.



The year didn’t even start yet but I suddenly felt “the change”. Is it a good thing? Probably, yes.



How am I gonna start the year? I’m gonna start it by thanking God. For what happened this year. Like I said I always thought this year was miserable. But then I’m thankful because he got me through it. This year gave me pain. But of course it always makes you stronger. I also want to thank God for what he’s gonna give me this year. That includes my new phone. *wink* :D



I wanna thank God for my Parents – My Dad who is striving VERY hard to give me what he thinks I deserve. He even told my mom once : “is there anything I couldn’t give my daughter?” I cried. For my Mom : my partner-in-crime. Always by my side. My mom, for me – is everything rolled into one. She can be the worst enemy, the best friend, but to top it all off, she’s someone I can’t live without.





I wanna thank God for my Grandmother – sure, she blabbers a lot, but hey – I’m used to it. Hearing her talk like she’s firing a gun makes me feel like everything is normal. Everything is in place. It might sound really irritating but there’s nothing I can do about it. :D and I love her for that. Thanks for the doughnuts that you buy for me every weekend, Gramma. And for making me feel really important.





I wanna thank God for my Uncle – and my Aunt, too. For treating me like I’m part of “their” family. My Uncle, for being VERY patient when it comes to me, and for driving me to wherever. He’s another partner-in-crime, too. He gives me advices about guys, too. And for the trust that he’s given me. My Aunt, for the hugs that she gives me. And for saying “ I’ll pay it! “ when we’re out on the mall most of the time. And for laughing at herself. She’s at her 30’s, and sometimes she acts like this kid – I love her for it.





I wanna thank God for my cousins – sure, Louie and Maro could be a bit of a headache, and Chi is the one I get along wit. I love them. When we’re together we’re like this pack of hyenas. We never stop laughing. And making fun of each other. And thanks to their appetite, I guess it pretty much influenced me. :D





I wanna thank God for my Friends – Lance : I always said Lance is the one I knew the longest. He came before everybody else. Feeling bad? Saw something funny? Wanna talk to someone about music? Designers? The latest Roberto Cavalli line? My favorite Manolo? One person comes to mind. And that’s Lance. We’ve known each other back in first year. And he’s been around EVER since. I never told him that seeing him around makes me happy. (he might never believe it since he has this…thing about me saying stuff like this…) but he does. Len – it seems that we never get along when it comes to things that we shouldn’t really be arguing about. But she’s still there. And I’m still here. And I know we both are trying hard. I appreciate when she makes things look normal for me when they’re not. I appreciate the letters, the gifts. And whenever she makes me happy. She knows what I want her to be. Not that I’m manipulating her. But she knows. Ed – he’s always there. I don’t know. He does these little things that make me feel “special”. Don’t take it the wrong way. But Ed is just one of the best things that happened to me this year. He’s a great friend. Even more than great. George – one of the most unusual friendships. We say certain things that actually shouldn’t be said to each other and we never get pissed. It’s like we understand each other SO well. I’m not sure if George sees it that way but I do. He’s one of the people I know I can trust and I know I can be REALLY honest wit. I’m looking forward to more “deep” conversations wit him. Gail – her advice just helped me A LOT. I’ve been spending a lot of time in her dorm lately, (E4) and I know I’ve been bugging her somehow (when she’s supposed to be studying)… she totally gave me her ear when I needed someone to listen. And she tried her best to understand. Eventually, she did. And she respected me for that. I saw the sincerity. She wants me to be happy. I clearly saw that from her. Basil – of course, for all the mocks and for calling me a – nevermind. But inspite of all this, Basil is very…VERY mature. I’m not trying to sound mushy, but Basil really showed me that he cares. Honest! That’s very rare in a guy. Aldrich – for everything. The laughs, the headaches (lolz!), the good and the bad moments. For making me feel like I’m something. For lifting me up, and for being the guy that he is. Jay – we just got to get “close” lately but I’m thankful because we already built this trust. He IS a cool guy. And I know there’s a lot of time for mocking. Other people, that is. :D Karl – he KNOWS that I’m thankful because though we’re not really thislose we have “no hard feelings” when we mock each other. I also love him for being honest. Although his honesty could hurt, but that’s one of the things Lance likes about his personality, too. Karl, don’t change. Brian – I always thought Brian was tough. Like he never cared. But just when you need someone to listen to you, at the most unexpected times, you get a text message and see Brian’s name in your inbox asking you how you’re doing. We text each other when we’re bored and all that. Yeah, he mocks hard. But hey, that’s the way he is. :D Andrew - :D always made me feel special. He makes me feel like I could do anything I want to. That I can go through everything. He’s very patient. He has humor, too! I know there’s still more to see. And there’s LOTS of time for that. Mark – gives the BEST advices. He says things and it’s like BOOM! You realize things. He’s not afraid to admit things. We started being friends because of one person. But it all started on that small conversation we had in the e-house before and after the last novena. I’m thankful for that night. He sure does know how to carry a conversation.





I wanna thank God for the “Titans” – my former batchmates. Ayah, Maya, Angela – my gurlfriends. I barely hear from them. I don’t even think they still think of me, but I wanna say that I really, really, really, really miss them. My gurls are the best. Choel – he’s still there. Our relationship wit each other never changed. Never. Ban, Jayson, Nica, Nat, Chin – we’re all studying in the same school but we barely see each other, but then I’m thankful we still do – somehow.





I wanna thank God for my former blockmates – some of them, for giving me the worst “start”. Some of them for making me crack up. Even if I got to shift I’m still thankful I got to know people like them.





I wanna thank God for my dorm mates – for sharing all the secrets and the gurl talks ‘til the witching hours of midnight, for all the gossips, and the laughs we shared (and the food as well)… and just being there. Lately I go “home” and tell them the same problem EVERY single day. And they never stopped listening, giving me honest comments, understanding me, and fighting for me.





I wanna thank God for every single gurl who has looked at me from head-to-foot and to those who has raised their eyebrows, and those who have been making fun of me, and the ones talking behind my back – because they made me feel bad – in a good way.





I wanna thank God for my cat, Jason, for my dogs, Mimi, Cadpig, Blue, Theodore, Lucky, and JM. It is true. You’re sad, tired…you look at your pets. You’ll feel a lot more…relieved.





I wanna thank God – for my ex. For making me a part of his life. For making me see reality. For once making me happy. For giving me his heart. For taking the risk. For breaking my heart.





And lastly, I wanna thank God for giving me this life. This year. For giving me NOW.

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