hhmm...i realized...LLAAANNNCEEE... help me re-do the whooollleee blog....( actually i won't be helping you out in any way...i have no idea how i'ma do this..hehe...) i'm gonna be saving pix in a diskette...and,,ikaw na bahala... :D hehe... i owe you a lot..but you can do it anytime... :D thanks...loads... :D

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i wanna work on an animal shelter! :D i love aminuls. :D that would be great... i mean... i'd be nursing those *CUTE LITTLE PUPPIES AND KITTIES*... kewl! :D awww... i swear, that would be great... there was this time when we went to Ocean Adventure... and i was chosen as one of the people to feed the Dolphins... i felt like crying... i swear... no, they aren't bottle-nosed, but they're really cute...i even got to touch them... :D we had to do this hand movement which made them follow...well we didn't know what they were gonna do, and i ended up getting a BIG splash... :D yeah, it wus cool... :D... ala lang...

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..."sa umaga't , sa gabi, sa bawat minutong lumilipas..... "

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NEW FALL BLAHNIKS ON NEIMAN MARCUS! What the- !!!! OMG!!! :D my heart skipped a beat... i signed up at Style.com, and i get newsletters every week... mostly. The New Fall Blahniks..well, those black old-school-lookin'-slip-ons looks just like the ones in Mango... only that they're in Beige. MY, they look so freeaking gorgeous! OMG,OMG,OMG! check out NeimanMarcus.com ... :D remember the "03 Bonnie and Clyde" video... that part when they were in the Phone Booth... Beyonce was wearing a pair of Manolos... and J.Lo,too...in that "All i have" video. remember those pink steps? yeah... those are Manolos... i dream of owning one... eventually, i will... :D heheh... UH... yeah...

one day... (here i go wit the daydreaming again...) i'll be in Dolce and Gabbana, wit this prada clutch bag, manolos, jewellry from Tiffany and Co., (or Harry Winston..) ... maybe a vintage skirt from Alexander McQueen, a top from Roberto Cavalli... :D i like that top Carrie wore once... it was a Roberto Cavalli...y'know, those. :D hehe... whatever...



anyways... i got...quite low GPA... i haven't been focusing on the right things lately. it's like all that ever really matters is me spending most of my time wit the tropa. i mean, it's just..i don't think the tropa ever puts that much dedication... but, you know what? you don't have to. in the first place, i realized that you don't really care that much...so i guess i know where i went wrong. oh, and i won't probably be joining "our dinners" that much anymore. i guess i have to focus on my studies this time. probably, starting next week... :D but i'm still not sure...but then, don't worry guyz (like you would)... i don't think it would have any effect on any of you people...so, there... :D



...some things are just hard to accept...but i'm proud. i realized things before they were too late... :D TOO LATE.



but there are some things... i actually... realized...and...well, uhh...it's...too late...too late... OMG. i just did not... think...i've... OH NO.



i'm not angry... i'm just...upset. there are a lot of beautiful things in this world, and i just think that it's not "right" to be so angry and rebellious... but hey, i've been there, and i', thankful i've been through that. things have just been hitting me...

like... whoa... fred segal is definitely...a great place to go shopping to! (HAH!)



kidding.. nah... a lot of mature stuff... :D



don't push yourselves too much, okay? :)



Hey it's Ja's birthday on the 2nd! we could have been celebrating our 2nd anniv by then... but i guess i just don't have to think of how things are supposed to be. things are GREAT the way they are right now *grin* ...but then i got pretty good grades, no boyfriend, gained a lot of friends, my mom's here... :D so much to smile about...



and one piece of advice..smile at the bad things... it would make you feel better... :D

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DAMMIT, ABBIE..you've got to study HARRRDER!!!

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"maybe we'll meet in a bar, he'll drive that funky car, maybe we'll meet in a club, and fall so deeply in love...he'll tell me i'm the one, and we'll have so much fun...i'll be the girl of his dreams...MAYBE... alright baby, come and pass my way i gotta get someone to call my love AGAIN, baby, c'mon..." ... my song... :D



ala lang... :)

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hello people... u know...there are things i wanna share, but i just can't... :D uhh...i don't know...Lance, Len, you guyz know...and you too, Basil...but then i won't take it seriously.. i mean,i'm not even sure of anything, and i can't assume just like that. but...i'm just not up for anything... i'm not... honestly,no.. :) but it kinda made me a lot more irritated...and when i knew that m prof in consti was leaving us... :'( I WAS LIKE... DAMMIT! he's such a nice prof! he makes my day better wit his jokes and all that...but, then as what Boyz II Men sez... OH, WELL...



i'm outtie... :(

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i passed logic,too! cheers, Len! :)

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DON'T TELL JA ABOUT MY BLOG!!!!! .... DON'T EVEN!!!!

i told my friendz back in HS to go visit my blog... i wonder...when they see all this crap i've been writing... iz like... "WTF? Abbie's writing about Lipgloss and Shopping and all that..." thinking that most of them are doing a lot more serious stuff than just being smart about the latest season in Prada and Manolos... *Lance you promised me a pair of those in your first paycheck! and i'm telling you...BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT! joke... :D * anyways... well i think it's cool to know what's Prada's latest trend... although i haven't really checked it out lately... but then..don't y'all think... Zac Posen is a great, and i mean, GREAT designer? Check out what Natalie Portman's been wearing in the Red Carpet lately... or in any Premiere she's been to... cool... :D hehe...okay, fine... back in High School i had more important things in my head... (hey, Zac Posen's kinda important, to me... :D )



first of all, when my friendz back in HS get to read this, they'd try to find out how i'm doing lately...after all those... and i'm gonna say... (ala Christina Aguilera..) I'm Okay...*it's a nice track, btw* yeah, i AM okay... finally...after what i've...been through the past few weeks... But i think of it...in a good way... cuz it's like... so much realization... in life... it came really clear to me...and because of this i know the people i should count on...people who would really be there for me...



anyways, about Ja... i just love reminiscing about the past... but i guess i'm already getting over it. i think... cuz it's like ... he... is... a part of my past... and... though we are good friendz now... i think it's good to think about it THAT way for THE MEANTIME. i could say i'm strong enough to put things that way... :D Ja told me I am strong... i guess i am. i guess a year and a couple of months of gushing over the same thing is enough. i mean, Abbie, enough of this already!and besides, he's moved on already,he has new things to think about, new inspirations... Like me... ;) so... this case...dismissed!!! :)



anyways...the other night, we were in Kalayaan Ave., having dinner wit my Mum's friendz, and later that night we passed by U.P. ... GEE...BIG SKUL... it wus cool, though...it's like... 10 times bigger than ourz... :D i like PALMA Hall... it's this HUGE white building, and nice white stairz,too...and if i'm not mistaken, it has PILLARS!!! it's like the smaller version of the supreme court! WHOA...



hhmm... Lance, i wanna put my top 17 songs.... :D please,please,please help me on it... :D



oh, and...we passed by Ateneo,too... and didn't you ever wonder? Ateneo is along Katipunan, which means it's near Libis, and when i think of Libis, i think...THE SPA! OMG! iz like, people who dorm in Ateneo ( it's not even called a dorm..they have CONDOS...) could just go there ANYTIME, and have a SPA! and...and...think of their nightlife, people! hello? nightlife! the only thing we need!.... *sigh* but i'm grateful...hey, at least i got into La Salle... *people would say...DASMA KA LANG! but i'm like... still, it's LA SALLE,pervert!* anyways... there... :D some of the usual nonsense things i blabber about...but hey..it's my blog...who cares? and this is how i feel... :)



Len... HI!!!! :D :D :D

Lance...you didn't reply...

Aldrich...take vitaminz... tsk tsk... poor kitties...you'll be disecting them? *sniff*

George...hey..kewl blog... :D



Ayah..Maya...Ban...Carlo...to all the people ...don't tell Ja about this..nakakahiya! i don't want him to think i'm still crazy over what happened... Ban you know... ryt? :)

hey guys...i'm not shallow...just that..makes me happy whenever i talk about stuff like these... CIAO! :D



see y'all...



i'm OUTTIE!!!

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FUNNY..i had this super LONG post... and...it just...uhh... well.... i had a great day and i am not spoiling it...





Len... i'm happy... :)

Lance, thanks for listening... always...listening... :)

George,,, glad you're doing okay...

Drich, hope the try-outz turned out good... :) make ingatz! :)



hehe... i'm gonna tell everything... asap.. :)



i love y'allz...



mwah!



i'm outtie...

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i desperately need a Vanilla frapp....yea, you heard that right...Choclit's outta the picture! hehe... Frappuccinos are good pain relievers... when i feel sick, i drink one instead of advil..ala lang...

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" ...when all the love feels gone, and you can't carry on"... hehehe... :D

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i woke up to a good morning!! :) it was raining and i had my discman by my side... i listened to the CD i burned last night... it had David Gray, PJ Olsson, Toad the wet sprocket, Freestyle, Sophie B. Hawkins, The Corrs, Babyface... the type of songs you'd listen to on a rainy day.... and i stared in me and ja's picture, hugged the sweater he gave me... (he sprayed Tommy on it..hehe...) and drifted off to a 30 minute nap... before i had to take a shower... actually, showers hafta be short...so, i should say...uhh...before i bathe myself? hehe... whatever...



OMG.... i can't believe i did that... OMG! TELL ME I WAS JUST DREAMING... i won't panic...uhh...no... i won't....



anyways...



George, i know...i know how it feels... just don't take things too hard on you...hey...we may not really know each other THAT well, or, talk THAT often, but i'm your friend. i would listen... you take care George...and you think you're the only one who had a bad weekend?



i bought a Choc'lit Choclit Chip flavored ice cream from Haagen Dazs instead of that Pink Blush-on i wanted from Clinique! hehe... but i haven't checked out Bobbi Brown and MAC yet, so..why hurry? hehe...like you guyz care about the Blush-on i use... yeah...wutever...



i like Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent", too... i guess that used to be me... but i never shut anyone out... but i never saw myself depending on guyz for my happiness..until Ja came along..and it's not just any guy, it's JA! JA..JA...JA...



....but what i really like...is Justin's "Take it from here"... if you know the lyrics...wow.... one day...if a guy could just sing that for me...in other words..if Ja would sing that... :D the song makes my knees go weak... :D but it would be better if it was Justin who was singing that to me...YEA! DURREEAM ON, ABBIE...



I wanna be your lake, or your bay

And any problems that you have

I wanna wash 'em away

I wanna be your sky

So blue and high

And everytime you think of me

I wanna blow your mind



I wanna be your air

So sweet and fair

So when you feel that you can't breathe

Ma, I'll be there



I wanna be your answer, all the time

When you see how I put your life before mine

With no question



When all the love feels gone

And you can't carry on

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here



I wanna hold your hands

Review all your plans

I wanna make sure everyone of your dreams 'll stand

I wanna be your broadway show on review, (why)

So I can act out how God was when he made you

I wanna be your lighthouse when you get lost

I'll light a bright and shiny path to help you across

I wanna be your mother, (wait)

See what I see

And when you see that can't nobody hold you like me

Cause I love you



When all the love feels gone

And you can't carry on

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

Don't worry, girl (no no)

I'ma take it from here



And when there's no one there to hold

And you realize the world is cold

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

That's what I'm gonna do

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

(Don't you worry, baby)

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here



Give me one reason why we should not be leaving

This world is so deceiving, the time is now

Let's fly away speeding

Through the Garden of Eden

Where all the sweet breathing of love surrounds



When all the love feels gone

And you can't carry on

Don't worry, girl

I'ma take it from here

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

Don't worry, girl (no no)

I'ma take it from here



Give me one reason

Why we should not be leaving

This world is so deceiving

The time is now

Let's fly away to Sweden

(We'll fly away)

Through the Garden of Eden

Where all the sweet and breathing

Of love surrounds



When all the love feels gone

And you can't carry on

Don't worry, girl

I'm-a take it from here

Just as sure as the sun will shine

Every morning, everytime

Don't worry, girl

I'm-a take it from here



Love ain't always the way they write in books

(No, no)

See there's the good guys

And also heartbreak crooks

Your hearts the real one

Just take a look inside

'Cause it's a colorful illustrated guide



*sigh*



Gigli's gonna be showing real soon..i'ma watch it!! :D

i watched Lizzie McGuire wit my mum in ATC last nyt... hehehe... i'm LIZZIE!! hehe... *what?* i like her!!! i've been watching her on Disney Channel... ( what a baby...) AAAND, Even Stevens,too.. i think Shia's gonna be HOT one day... (he's Bosley'z surrogate son in Full Throttle, y'know...)





anyways... that's about it..hafta get back to the dormz... :)



i'm outtie...

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it's the french line from Michelle Branch's song... i like it... in english it means..."Everytime you walk away...i pretend that i'm okay..." from " 'Til i get over you" ... :)



....



that's all...



:D



i'm outtie! ...

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yep...livin' in the past...

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since i still can't do what most of you are doin...like postin' yer fave songs... well..i'm gonna be posting mine here... what tops my list is... Michelle Branch's "Tuesday Morning" and " 'Til i get over you"(cool..it has french on it...), ... i like Justin Timberlake's " take it from here" and... "Never Again"... Stacie Orrico's "Strong Enough"... would you believe i still like Frente's "Bizaare Love Triangle" ? (i've been hearing it since i was in Kindergarten. i used to watch MTV since i was like, 5... ala lang... ) ... Simple Plan's "Perfect"... Ashanti's "Rock wit you"... ( I SO LOVE THAT SONG...)... and...uh...Kelly Clarkson's "Miss Independent"... well if i tell y'all the songs i really like, it would bore you to death so,,,there...



anyways... hehe...Aldrich told me and Len he never visited the other tropa's blog... funny... coz i've been seeing his name all over everyone's tagboards! and why is everyone thinking something is going on between me and Alex? i mean... it's just that... i don't really like it. put it this way. two people starting to be really good friends... i don't want to end up wit Alex avoiding me. just because of that. i mean, it's happened to me SOOO many times already. y'all know i mesh well wit guys better than i do wit...gurlz... well i do, but i just...mesh well wit guyz most of the time... didn't y'all notice? lately, it's me, len and alex spending time together...i mean, just these past few dayz,so i guess it's normal to see Len and Alex together, Me and Alex together... the three of us together... i mean, people are acting all...malicious? yeah...malicious is the right word... *sigh*



Ja hasn't been answering my calls... well not just mine... Ten told me he wasn't answering her call,too..he's probably busy. Mum wanted to talk to him 'ta ask if he was doin well, and...he wus out of reach.... dammit. it always happens.



Thank God my phone's fixed... but i had to bid Lucky goodbye...the only solution wus to restore it 'ta factory settings. i saved all the messages the tropa sent me on my birthday...my cat's pix were there,too...and my pix...mum's pix when she got here...darn...



hey, brian..drich...ima goin shopping again! ;p i know most of the tropa are...uhh...practical.... so i'm calling the people who looove to spend...like moi. would you imagine...a lipgloss...for 1,300? but that's cool... it's NARS anyways... :D it may even sound cheap to most of you...but for a lipgloss... :D hehe....



I HAVEN'T STUDIED IN RETORIKA YET!!! gggrrr....



just came to mind...the nicest thing about knowing someone who has gone thru the same crisis as i did is....nevermind... :D but i swear...it's like...a sign of relief 'ta me... i'm not the only one feeling this way... it's good to share it wit that person. it's like WOW...that's what i went through,too... that person must really know how 'ta... nevermind... ... ... :)



... ... ... ... ... ... *speechless*... ... ... ... ... ...



if ever the tropa decides 'ta go barhoppin again...i won't be going...just... think it's not right for me to go anymore...for some reasons..sometimes it makes me think...are we still a tropa? i think we're just these bunch of friends who eat dinner together...but...we can't call ourselves a "tropa" anymore...that's what we are now. a bunch of people hanging out, eating dinner together...but not a "tropa"... BEN, why did you leave us?.... ala lang... so... i guess my life is back to being... boring.



but then i hafta think POSITIVE! i remember nessie telling me...how boring life would be if we were just happy everyday... she's right...



shit does happen.and it should. without it...we'd all be happy, and that would make life...so... plain. right. plain. like, the same 'ol thing happenin over and over. you'd be so happy the whole day, and it would drive you mad.



it was really nice reading Ja's email...there was this one email when he said..."you virtually changed my life!"... wow... that made my eyes give out the hush puppy look...



Ja used to give me compliments on how cute my bedroom voice wus over the phone. like, how it sounds when i giggle when i'm really sleepy...you know, small things that send chills down my spine... how he gives me that smile when i check on him in the middle of classes...



i keep telling myself i.... nothing...i'm sick of saying it....



anyways, it's 12 A.M.



good mornin' everyone...



i'm outtie.... AU REVOIR.... :) *yawn* :)

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OMG, all my shit wus scattered on the floor... and i had to go through every single paper...what's to keep, what's to throw... and i found a few of my stuff from high school...i saw a few testpapers, and i thought..."wow...i wus so good at physics..." (WUS...hehe...)... and found some of my batchmates' extracurricular activites form... and in Camille's, i saw her her class pix... i was like... GOD! Jaja's in it... :D aww... and i even saw this email from Ja... dated..October 9, 2000....

OMG! this is how it went...



" Hi baby ko! Alam kong mejo tampo ka sakin ngaun..feeling ko kasi parang pagnanjan ako mejo...basta yun na yun... sometimes, it may seem na mejo badtrip ako...honestly,aborido lang naman ako sa mga tests at sa mga ginagawa ko dito sa bahay...sorry kung nadadala ko 'to pag kasama kita...i know na you don't deserve such stupid things and i don't know kung bakit ganto, but what i know for sure is that...Ur there for me, ryt?! Understanding ka naman e. And the way you give me that cute nod and dimple thing makes me feel...(*sigh*)... ala lang...Baby, mejo pressured lang ako sa UPCAT..laki nga ng expectations ng parents ko sakin e... Love you!"...



at the end he said this joke which made me crack up, but then he said...that's the least thing he could do for now to make me happy... and take note...he said.. "least thing",okay? hehehe....



Ja wasn't my classmate in Senior Year, but then...when you look at his class picture...you'd think..."hhmm...this guy looks okay..." and when you look at mine it's like.."she looks okay..." (i don't think you see the point...but...) i just think that...looking at me and ja... i dunno... i just felt different... i mean...it's so...(how could i say this...???) OVERWHELMING... how two people from different beliefs just... found each other... just fell for each other. it's pretty amazing how we got together, and how our differences made us fit well...like...i'm his missing piece and vice versa... what i didn't know..is that was i only there to fill in a missing part of him...not a missing whole... but as what he said... "if abbie and i were meant for each other, then...that's it..no one could change that..." but my belief is...it wouldn't really happen if you ....don't do SOMETHING about it! ....



when it comes to Ja, this is how i feel.... i can't picture how life was without him in it. honestly speaking, life began at 2nd year.life began the day i met him. i may be young to say this...but it's...magic? (eeekk! it's getting mushier and mushier!!!)...okay...enough of this...things are startin' 'ta get sticky... but in the middle of this crisis...chaos thing going on, i seek refuge from my past...from those days... it's good to reminisce...remember the old dayz...



but then it leads me to the one question. HOW DID I END UP HERE? and not just...HOW, but...WHY? what made me get into this...mess? well at least things are a lot better now than they were... Ja is right...College is Hell... and College is the reason why we both ended up just being friends... but i see that as a good thing. At least Ja's still a part of my life, ryt? He will ALWAYS be... it's the thought that... no one would ever treat me the way he did... even if someone would do something that...in a way, i would be able to say...EXTURREAMLEEY SUWWEET...it still won't... ahh... nevermind...



Right. i'm still on the rebound... hey, it's been a year, 2 months,3 weeks and a day since we...broke up. i hadn't had a bf since then... so... maybe...it's not that i'm scared of getting into another relationship... it's just that i don't really want to. something in me...says...i shouldn't...or is it... at least i'm not that confused anymore...although i was serious about that suicide thing... none of the people i told this to took it seriously... but i was in bed and the thought just hit me...go get the knife abbie!...my friends in highschool freaked out...they were calling me and stuff like that...ban didn't stop swearing at me when he knew that i was serious about the suicide attempt. i don't know. i didn't know who to turn to. no one in the tropa would totally totally understand, and i know most of you are already having problemz...but you know guyz...there's just so much going on... and i guess i'm just good at hiding all the pain, but i guess i was just fed up of doing the same thing over and over...Len i know you're there for me... but things are just...different... and besides, you guyz aren't involved... i guess... and drich, thanks...didn't know you felt the same thing,too... and George,too... what is happening? everyone's so... argh...



anyways...i'm still not done fixing my stuff, so...there... :)



just a thought....

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just a thought...

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WHERE IS THE LOVE by Black Eyed Peas feat J.T. is me numba' one sonngggg! :D

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guess what i'm gonna do..the past week has brought nothing but S-T-R-E-S-S, so ima have a spa...in the dorm. i have all the things i need...Mud from Africa....face mask... hehe... whatever.... :D try it people....it would do you good...i swear.... my mom told me, one of these dayz we'll be going .... THE SPA ...where Lucky does his gym thing.... maybe..not now, but before i turn 18...that- would be cool... :D



just trying to cheer myself up! :D



i'm outtieeee.... :D

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GEORGE! i will never forget what the tropa went through last nyt... we both know that some things didn't...well, nevermind about that...but for the first time IN MY LIFE, i thought the rain did something good this time. i feel sorry for MiMi, though..she didn't survive..."through the rain"...whatever... but i'm still thankful... thank God for the rain..i had a hell of a good time...tska nangangapa kami ni George...he would avoid this "puddle"... and i wouldn't notice it,... the next thing i know, my nu pair of shoes were...soaked wet. but that's okay! i had fun! :D :D :D

i miss Ben and Ninz... :(

anyways...just wanna tell some things to the whole tropa..altho you guys don't really care about this blog.... :D

Karl...i'm sorry about Mimi... *dammit* i wanna cry!

Bayzil... man...i wanna talk to you about something!!! HELP ME?uhh..yeah...Help me...oh, and...remember...On Mondays, Kelvin's mine...On Saturdays, he's yours...and on Sundays, he's Joel's... okay? take care of 'ma gurlfriend!

Alex... hehehehe... tama bang pagkamalang...TAYO? uyy....may apektado jan... *gaakk*

Lance... thank God, i let that all out... Jimminy Cricket's still here, though...but he's not buggin me no mor... :D

Ben... you...you...you... :D Ben, i'm so thankful i got to know you... i swear...

Nini... I MISSSSSS YOU!

Len... hehehe.... i'm really, really, really..really happy for you... i swear... :D

Aldrich... do you know the word "SMILE" ? if you do, just..do it... :D

George... hey, that's cool...we're open to each other...we can talk about anything...ANYTIME! :D

Brian... HEY! you don't text anymore!

Mik... hey you promised you were coming wit us...



anyways... George, really happy for you...just got to read your blog now..cool... YOU GOT PROMOTED! YIPEE!!! :D



HEI! i wanna fix my blog! whatever...I'LL DO IT MYSELF! :D *i'll start "learning" how 'ta..now...*



hei...michelle branch's album...i think it's cool... Lance! i still sing that in the shower... :D



i can't wait 'til we all go barhoppin again... but i think we couldn't anymore..i don't know..it just doesn't feel ryt... ... ... ... if the whole tropa would go, that would be really....really...really great... :D :D :D



YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL...(the remix version) is Lucky's favorite song... :D i'm listening to it ryt now... :D



Where is the Love... Black eyed peas...feat. J.T. is ..... ARGH! freakin' cool! :D



i'm....outtie? :D

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i posted this in our { official "titans" website... }



life can't get any worse than this! i swear...



honestly, people...here i go again wit the same old love routine...

i start to like someone...just like someone...either he likes me, too...or he doesn't give a damn... then...pag nalaman kong may gusto narin sha sakin... i start to do these things that would make me sure that he really likes me... and then, we start getting to know each other... and then when i start to feel something more than like.... let's say...i start to fall for that guy...suddenly... the whole world stops rotating, and i always end up telling myself.." DAMMIT! what did i get myself into?" it's like... i just let myself fall....i just let myself fall, and that's it. when i realized i've fallen, i get scared! i've already fallen to the deepest rabbithole in the world!i don't wanna fall again... and i've already been to wonderland. and i know what it's like... and i just like the feeling of falling in love...i probably just don't wanna be in love again... i can't do the same thing over and over??? and i can't just keep myself busy! i'd end up like Nelson Moss! i'd lose my intimacy skills! which is...BAADD!



but the question is, DO I REALLY NEED A BOYFRIEND? do i need one? i mean.... "NEEEEED" one?



if i'm scared of getting into another relationship...maybe the only way i could overcome that fear is to...get into one. i just don't know if i should take the relationship seriously...or should i give him 70% of what i have... if i should be "that" sweet... if i should care so much... WHAT THE HELL!!!! i'm going crazy! people, it's not easy, i swear! Love used to bring out that dimple in my cheek, and now, it's like... my definition of love is not the same anymore! Love used to be beautiful...butterflies in your stomach... but now it's like...



just thinking of Love makes me want to ask for a glass ( or maybe a BARREL ) of Chivas Regal! or Cosmopolitan...



I'm NUMB!!!! i can't say what's real and what's not anymore... i can't... AAAAAAHHHH!!! What is love, Abbie, Define Love,Abbie...DAMMIT...



maybe i've been wanting to know what it feels like to be in love again... maybe that's the only reason why i want to have a boyfriend... maybe it's because i thought that having one would change what i think of Love... you know...back to the way i used to...maybe even better...but then...i just can't... Love makes me wanna DIE... i couldn't even believe myself...this isn't me... reminds me of that Jennifer Love Hewitt song... ggrrr... "and no matter what they say, they will never take away,that i believe in love..." ...

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