FORTUNE. HAPPINESS. SUCCESS.
- those were the three traditional Chinese fireworks that I lit up tonight. Hopefully, I get all that this year.
I got to call Ja, My dad, and my Ate Joy. Hearing Ja’s voice on the other line *again* made me somehow feel good. I don’t know if it’s a good thing, but it did help me smile through out the night. Not that it meant something, but… I just felt good. I was trying to call Andrew, Ed, George, Ban, Ayah, My Mom, Basil and Lance but it’s either they’re not picking up or I just can’t get through the freakin’ “traffic”. But then Lance called me, Joel too, and my cousin Elaine. My Kuya Richie was just on the phone wit me a few minutes ago. Freakin’ line got cut. Argh. We were in the middle of talking about movies!
“I promise” by Stacie Orrico is the only thing playing on my compo right now. I’ve been listening to it since this afternoon.
I keep thinking about Lance and his decision. I can’t help it.
hmm… okay I just got off the phone wit Kuya Rich. He lives in L.A. right now. He wus at work. I do pray he would be able to come home before I turn 18. I miss him a LOT. I remember how we hold hands whenever we walk in the mall or how we just giggle non-stop. He’s one of my closest relatives. He’s more of like my big brother. If he’d come home, it’s more than enough. We’d go par-tay in Libis and go to Rockwell or something. Oh well.
Guys, last year I spent most of my time thinking about my problems, crying in the bathroom, I didn’t concentrate on my studies, I had so much going on that I forgot to set my priorities. Most of you might have thought of me as selfish but believe it or not, my dorm mates have been telling me not to think of other people too much. How they’d feel, what they’d think… but it’s hard. This year, if there’s anything I wanna change, that’d have to be my outlook in life. It’s gotta be a lot more positive. I don’t wanna listen to what other people have to say.
When it comes to Heart Matters, I didn’t realize until last week that I have become numb. And very very scared. More scared than I have imagined. I don’t know if it is a good thing. Since I tend to stop myself from falling. That would also mean that I’m saving myself from getting hurt. Any guy at present would say that he won’t even think of hurting you. Maybe right now I can say “yeah, he won’t.” but I said the same thing about 2 and a half years ago, but where did I end up? Not that I’m trying to mention any names, but to be honest, I have found it hard. Really really really hard to give my full trust to someone. I don’t know if I have to change that.
Sheesh. When it comes to Heart Matters, I’ll just hafta leave it ALL up to God.
And I don’t know how this is relevant, but Miko Sotto’s death affected me A LOT. How? It’s when I saw his girlfriend, Angel Locsin. When I saw her, her eyes all bulgy,I don’t know. I felt her pain. Hey, I had a boyfriend too. When we broke up I felt like dying. But the thing is I’d still get to see him. She won’t. He’s gone. *sigh*… maybe she feels worse than dying.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS? NAH!
They just never work for me. I’m a spontaneous person, I don’t map out things. Very carefree. Although I have nothing against them, I just don’t follow whatever I write down. So I decided not to do any this year.
WHAT I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO …
because y’all would get ta see my room, and because some of my high school friends will be visiting. Aside from that, it has to be Valentines Day. No, it’s not what you’re thinking. It’s because I’m looking forward to who’s gonna be doing a concert! Who’s gonna be my date? My cousin of course. :D June ,too. Because I’m gonna be turning 18 then, and my parents will be coming home for my birthday. I can’t wait ta see them. And finally go to THE SPA in Libis. Yay! :D and this is when PRISONER OF AZKABAN would hit the big screen! :D
HOW I’M ENDING THE DAY
With a prayer. :)
And to y’all reading this, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I pray this time we all have a prosperous one. A happy one. Guys, let’s make the most out of this year. With all the tragedies happening around us, let’s value life. Let’s value every single day. Every single minute.