TIME.



Sometimes, that's all you ask for, and they can't give you even a minute just to tell you that they're alive and that you don't have to worry.



I'm still typing my entry about the last two epis of SATC.



And as I predicted it, I did cry. I'll post the entry as soon as I'm done.



I have to sleep this off. It sucks.

0 comments:

FINALLY GETTING IT.



Ats what I'm talking about!



Hehe. Lalang. Finally, getting what I've hoped for this coming New Year.



:)

0 comments:

QUIZZES OF ALL SORTS...



That actually keep me on my toes when I'm bored to death.



Here are a few things I ran into today (thanks to the link that I found in her site...), and have enjoyed taking. Haha. Most of them are true, especially that one about my zodiac sign. (Andrew, take note. Ha ha!)



Anyways, I'm off ta watching THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT now on DVD in my laptop. I rememer Ja mentioning how I should watch EYES WIDE SHUT and THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO. I remember someone telling me long ago how R-rated Eyes wide shut is, and I asked Ja if it beats Original Sin (starring Angelina Jolie's Ooowies and Antonio Bandera's Ass), but he says Original Sin's story is better - but Nicole Kidman naked? Hmm... that's a different story. But ohwell, he suggests I watch it, we're both bummers to not have watched The Count, Choel has been blabbering about it for a long time.



Anyways, gots ta go. Pray for me, I have damn tonsilitis.



Is this what I get for being a bum?



GAAH!













You Are Tequilla





When you drink, you're serious about getting drunk!

You'll take any shot that's offered up to you...

Even if it tastes like sock sweat!

And you're never afraid of eating the worm.




Your Stripper Name is: Mocha




Your Porn Star Name is: Sindee Slickbooty



















Cancer - Your Love Profile



Your positive traits:





You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early on


A total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knows


You are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with





Your negative traits:





Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partner


You tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficult


It's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.





Your ideal partner:





Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeply


Dreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a family


Loves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!





Your dating style:





Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.





Your seduction style:





Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship.


Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild.


Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.





Tips for the future:





Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you.


Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing.


Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.





Best place to meet someone online:





eHarmony - you'll be able to take the time to get to know each potential match well





Best color to attract mate: Aqua





Best day for a date: Wednesday





Get your free love profile at Blogthings.































































ABBIE
A is for Altruistic
B is for Bright
B is for Bright
I is for Irresistible
E is for Enchanting














Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence






You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.

An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.

You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.

A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.













You Are a Dreaming Soul










Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you awy from this world

So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time

You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all...

But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you.

Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses.

Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others.

Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.

Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul













You Are a Pundit Blogger!





Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.

Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few
.






0 comments:

MAKE IT HAPPEN.



Live. Love. Feel.



The Eve of Christ's birth. Something we all should celebrate with our loved ones.



Forget about your enemies, your problems. This is the one day of the year where we should totally purify (wow, it's a big word..) ourselves from all the things that could be bothering us.



We celebrate our birthdays in the most grand way we could think of.

This is one birthday where in how much we spend just doesn't matter - but how we spend it.



This was the day HE was born. And for once every year, this day is supposed to be about him.



Enjoy your Christmas Eve, everyone.



Merry Christmas.

0 comments:

"ONCE A JAJA, ALWAYS A JAJA..."



"...Ah ganun ba yun, Ja?"



..."Oo bie...parang...Once an Abbie, always an Abbie."




Some things just never change.



I arrived at Ayah's place at around 1 P.M., and I screamed as I got to her place. We hugged each other, and I hugged her Mom, Tita Josie, too. This has been my 2nd family back in Jeddah.



Maya came about 30 minutes later. We hugged each other even longer. I missed this girl. I missed my girlfriends.



We had lunch then we headed for G4 (some parts I would like to skip...both of them would know why... :D )



We got there, parked Ayah's car... and headed straight to Starbucks where I had a Hot Choc'lit (and what else? ) an Ensaymada. Everything went well. We were definitely catching up. We were having a great time.



There were things bothering each of us, though. But it all went well.



We went to Mango where I decided to buy something Carrie Bradshaw-ish. A pink feathery bag which cost me Php2400. Which was worth it. They were all like, "Abbie. That is SO you." And I'm like, "really?" and they said, "really." So I asked Mom and she let me, so I did. I was supposed to also get this purse which goes with my white leather bag from Nine West or the other Pink Suede purse, but it would really look so typical. I wanna have something people in school don't. I wanna have something people don't usually see, or don't usually want to have. It felt good. I used it afterwards.



After Mango we went to check out THE BODY SHOP and TOPSHOP. Where Ayah and I keep spotting the same tops and dresses. That will be on the part 2 of my shopping.



We headed to Bread Talk (where everything looks and does seem like they're delicious. ) I treated them, they got this bread named "HOT CHIC" and I got the "FRENCH GARLIC BREAD". We sat down at this park right in front of Hotel Inter-Con, ate our breads, kept talking, then we headed back in to grab drinks from Delifrance.



We then decided to walk to Greenbelt (finally, after decades since I last stepped in it) where we walked around...and when I checked my phone, I found a missed call.



From Ja.



We stayed at Greenbelt for a while, sitting down...trynna fix some problems. At past 9 we decided to head home. But we stopped over Music 1 where I bought another Bamboo CD (i lost my first one), and Ayah bought my Cranberry body wash for me at The Body Shop since they all were starting to close.



While we were in the car I thought it would be great if we all get to talk to Ja. I tried calling him thrice, and he only got to answer on the third, with bed voice.



Don't misunderstand me, but we both just felt so at ease talking to each other. We just do, and we talked just like the way we used to.



Just like the way we used to.



We were like..."Hay Jaja..." and he goes..."Hay Abbie..."



It's even funny, because when we got back to Ayah's place he asked me if we were gonna do anything, and I said I wasn't, he asked me in a very sweet way.."so, stay with me muna?"



Guys, c'mon. Don't get me wrong. Even Maya and Ayah are happy for me that Ja and I are really good friends inspite of all the things that happened in the past. While we were talking they were there, too. Right beside me, and they were smiling at each other saying " they're really close..."



We both were laughing...genuinely.



It's been a long time since Ja and I had that kind of conversation. It din't end well though since I ran out of load at both sims. But then he texted me. When I got my load I texted him back.



We talked like we were back in Jeddah, when we talk about things...anything under the sun. Music, gossip about our friends, what's new about me, him... about our current relationships.... Gawd, we were just SO open to each other! And I couldn't be any happier knowing we're in that kind of status.



He even told me he sees me in Carrie. (wow, he watched SATC! so freakin' cool.)

That's why he watches it daw. And he goes like " WHOOOO!!!" (something he easily adapted from me...)



Anyways....today Ayah, Maya, Ayah's Mom and Sister and I headed back to G4, I bought another Lipglass from M.A.C., had another Hot Choc'lit at Starbucks....when my Uncle was on his way, we ran to get my stuff from Ayah's compartment, where we all stopped for awhile to eat Shawarma... :D Where I saw Lui Villaruz (who looks cute in person) and I noticed ( not that I'm boastful about it ) that he was looking at me and I was playing deadma. Ha ha! But he was real cute. I stood next to him ta buy a bottle of water but I was too chicken to look and flash him a smile.



Besides I just ate Shawarma, and I didn't have time to check my teeth.



I didn't want Lui to remember me as the chinese looking girl with beef stuck in her teeth.



Ohwell...



It's gonna be a long time 'til we all meet again, but...it's gonna be all good.



Oh and...Tita treated us ta Haagen Daz. Yummy Strawberry Cheesecake flavored ice cream, y'all should try it.



Anyway, this is all for now.



Don't get me wrong people. I'm just happy.



And Ja, if you ever get to read this... thanks. :)





P.S.



HAPPY 11th MONTHSARY, BABY!

0 comments:

THE ART OF BUMMING AROUND.



Sometimes it's beautiful. Sometimes it's not.



Ahhh! As a result of getting my new job, being a bum...i found this very kewl site where I got these:





Abbie Highway
Paintown6
Fame City15
Lake Love66
Dumpsville150
Loony-Bin Lane479
Please Drive Carefully
Username:


Where are you on the highway of life?


From Go-Quiz.com






Kewl, eh. But what the heck, there's a DUMPSVILLE on MY highway?...well yeah...there are those times when I feel so...dump(y/ed).



Ohmygah, right now THE TRIBUTE to SATC will be aired on HBO.

*Looks for box of tissues*



This may sound as sentimental but I CANNOT think about uttering (or I simply just CANNOT think) about saying goodbye to the show. I know there still are gonna be DVDs but to actually think that I'm gonna miss being so excited on what's gonna happen next or, what did I miss...



Everyone loves SATC. I've heard a few comments that they're sluts, all they do is have sex, all they talk about is sex, the size of their guys penises, how they did it, on what position and all that. But if you have been an avid viewer of the show you'd say it's more than that. Sure, they do talk about sex and all the things I just mentioned but it's deeper than that, it's more about their search for love, their friendship, New York City. It's about 4 different women and their relationship as friends. It's weird how I just get to find myself in each character. Weird as it may sound to you since I'm barely not a woman - yet. Well, I'm 18! I AM! I AM A WOMAN! (is that something to be happy about? Anyway...)



If there's one thing that just keep me watching this freakin' show like it's a drug or something (hey, SATC is my natural high! ;p) is because of the script. And I've said that before. The script is - there's not even a word for it. It's just... more than great.



I saw this one part (which is probably gonna be aired at the finale) where Carrie said "Farewell", and she had this smile on her face which reminded me of all those good episodes that I've seen. I'm not even a part of the show and it felt like I've been there, with them. It felt like I've seen them in all those ups and downs, yada yada. And then she started walking, and this voice inside me was screaming for her not to go or something...then she looked back and *blew* a kiss, and then she left. The screens turns into nothing but white. And then I get teary-eyed.



Shallow as it may seem, but I have never ever have watched a show that has affected my way of thinking (in terms of Love, friendship, relationships,Sex and fashion of course) and it feels like it's this really big part of me. And no matter what it's always gonna be there. It's like, in my veins or something.



*sigh*



There's just more to the show.



There's just more to the show. And I am gonna miss it.







0 comments:

AM I OR AM I NOT?...REALLY?



I'm only going to say this once, and I might regret it. But like I said, I'm only gonna say this once.



A girl in friendster with a picture of her and Heart Evangelista added me at Friendster today. Not that it startled me, but she later on sent me a message wondering if I did know Heart personally.



I couldn't believe what I was typing but I replied with something like this...:



" No I dont. I have been a "closet" fan of Heart since her G-mik days and I've seen her for about 4 times already but I never got the courage to up to her and take a picture. Why do you ask? :)"



Yes. I have been a fan. But not that kind of fan where I collect like every single picture or poster of her and stick it up my wall or something. I guess there really is just something about her that might make you draw your attention towards her.



Although there are times when I hated her (no offense), especially the first time I saw her at Glorietta, we were "literally" facing each other but we were like, 7, 8 feet away... There she was standing in front of Park Nike with her Yaya behind her, and there I was in front of that escalator with my Mom... and she just...gave me "that" look (from head to foot). It should've been a great moment for me. But I didn't expect her to look at me that way. And then she turned to her left and scooted towards... wherever she went.



Not that it's been getting to my head, but I have always been compared to her. And yes of course it's flattering since she really is pretty. But then I guess what irritated me the most is that people think I really like it whenever they called me HEART or LUCY...or HEART and LUCY combined.



Don't get me wrong.



I don't know what I'm trynna say, just that...I should stop being a hypocrite. :) It's Christmas! (this I learned from "Love, Actually". Ha ha!)



Thank you for giving me such compliments. Really, I am flattered. But please don't think it's getting to my head, ayt? :)



It's also funny how people react y'know. This one time, while I was coincidentally at Southmall while she had a Mall tour, and when I was passing by the stage (where she was of course), one of the guys were like, "Hey look, it's Heart's cousin!"... I just shook my head and gave out a grin.



I know some girls are like pissed off at her or something being the way she is. But I guess if there are times that she acts the way she does is because of the people trynna put her down. And I admire her for that. She surely does kick ass.



So....there you have it. I AM. And I'm only saying this once. And I don't want to hear a fucking comment about it! :) Don't mind what I said, ayt? ha ha!





A DIFFRENT KINDA HEARTSTAT.



Thanks to Em, who introduced using lowercase letters for the famly names.





Abbie alodia almasco and Andrew kay bautista
  • Doing their best to adopt three valuable children.
  • Choose not to listen to music together at the most inconvenient times.
  • Only speak in song.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy




Only speak in song, eh? Tell me about it. I love it when he sings! OH, and that game we played where I knew that we do share almost the same music-inclined brain! Because we both knew old songs. And not all people our age knew old songs - and appreciated them. Ha ha! It's like whenever I see a new side of him it always makes me fall deeper. That's what I really love about him inspite of being stubborn and insensitive sometimes. *sigh*



Abbie almasco and Andrew bautista
  • Doing their best to adopt all expensive children.
  • Are prone to share their hearts at every opportunity.
  • Are Hollywood's hottest couple.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy




And yes, we are prone to sharing our hearts at every opportunity which is WHENEVER WE'RE TOGETHER! Like when he takes my hand out of nowhere and kisses it soooo many times. Or when he plays with my hair, or when he pretends he's doing a music video and he sings to me.



Most of the time when I tell him that I've been sharing the things he does to me with my friends he'd blurt out, "Nakakahiya!" and he smiles. But I guess he just doesn't know how much I appreciate all that. :) I guess that's just how we are to each other. We both bring out a different side of ourselves. A side that was always there - but we were just too shy or too afraid to put it out there. But now we have each other - someone to be really comfortable with.



And for me,it's like, (mind me) fart all you want I don't give a shit. Ha ha!



Those were the two diff'rent heartstats results. :)



Thanks for the idea, Em. :)

0 comments:

LONELY, I FEEL SO LONELY...



Wait. Isn't that a song?



Hah. I just mixed all the words up. Anyways, I woke up at past 9 to find out that I was the only person in the house. THAT made me feel lonely. I mean, damn! I should be used to it. But I guess this morning was different. Already I knew I was alone. But then today I SAW that I was alone.



Hmm...



Ayah, Maya and I will be meeting up on Glorietta on the 22nd, hang out at Greenbelt, do some catching up. Something that I've been looking forward to doing with my girlfriends. I miss them so DAMN much. Really. And I can't wait!



Good thing Ayah's car is fixed now, and they have a pool on their condo's rooftop... Hmm... CAN'T WAIT. Really can't wait. Will be staying there 'til the 23rd. Hah! If only we all could stay for like a week I wouldn't mind! I guess a day just isn't enough for the three of us...



What is wrong wit mah hubby, he always forgets ta greet me g'nyt and say I love you! He always falls asleep, but it's been hapnin for 3 consecutive days already.



HMP!



What is it with girls trynna be UP THERE?



I mean, you know what I mean... social climbers.



I guess I've been browsing so much friendster accounts that it really gets to my nerves. Like when girls try to look really conyo and spell designer's names wrong. Such an insult. Louis Vuitton should sue them damn byotches. Okay, so I may not have an original Vuitton purse (that costs about 40,000..I saw Heart with one. I will too, one day! :D ) but daym, gurl! At least I know how to spell his name right!



Anyway, speaking of designers... I really....really...really adore... ADORE! Roberto Cavalli's designs. I guess I always fall in love with his prints. And not to mention the chicness. Gawd.



Anyways, I just feel like sharing that I am currently falling in love with OPM artists and their music. Session Road, Spongecola, 6 cycle mind, Bamboo, Sandwich, Kitchie Nadal, Rivermaya and Sugarfree. GAAAK! :D



I'm hungry. Grr.

0 comments:

POUR LE AMOUR DE NOUVEAU ANNEE.



Okay, I admit. I speak bad French. But thanks to my trusty French Dictionary, translate them literally and you’ll get what I’m trying to say.



Funny how fast this year is ending. And since I’m making it a trad ta do a LE ANN FINN RAPPORT at every end of the year, here’s my report for the Year 2004…



January 2004

I love New Years. Though making resolutions just never work for me, I prayed instead. I lit up those Chinese firecrackers (Fortune, Happiness and Success) and somehow believed that I would get them this year – and I did. The first month of the year turned out to be very…very odd. Somehow because I’m seeing a new side of myself. This was the month when Andrew and I got together. It was a beginning of a new chapter of my life. It was partly difficult to break the news to everyone, but I just had to since they will know, sooner or later. This is also when I start to deal with those biatches (who still don’t get what “taken” means) that they still can’t lay their fucking hands off my boyfriend.



February 2004

The month of LURVE. Hah. Tell me ‘bout it. It was this month when I first got my bouquet of flowers and a huge stuffed toy (which was pink, and it was a bunny – really cute. and scented too! Although my Baby kinda chose the wrong scent. Not that it was bad, just that it reminded me of someone else. Anyways…) from Andrew. It was sweet though, how it was done. They called me to the guardhouse to meet them up there, and when I went there I found this really huge bouquet of flowers and a paperbag with a tag and it had my name on it. Next to it was another bouquet of flowers for Charlene ( Karl’s lady ), we were giggling and stuff. Later on, out came Andrew and Karl. He held my hand and he was even hugging me (take note, while there were guards around). It was unforgettable. I got so *kilig* .



March 2004

Ou. This month. I felt so bad about missing him terribly, it was before summer had started. I guess this month I have realized of how lucky I am with what I have. And then this month is when Maya and my cousin Chi celebrated their birthdays on the 26th. Oh, and how can I forget that day we spent at G4, and we even watched Wave 89.1’s free concert at this open field just right in front of Oakwood. I remember witnessing the TIMEZONE sign burning. So cool. Oh, and that night at Eastwood. I had a cosmo, and we were dancing like crazy. Well, they were. :D I had spent one of the most unforgettable days of my life with my sisters Maya, Ayah and my close friend Leslie. We definitely had a blast. Wait. That’s an understatement. Spent overnight at Ayah’s place, but we weren’t prepared for it so I got some cash and got this tank top from Mango, underwear from Topshop and shorts from People are People. GROOL! Haha. Next time I’ma do that again. *wink*



April 2004

Probably it was this month when I start to step on rocks on the new road that I’m traveling. Probably it was when I was starting to realize that Andrew wasn’t completely ready being in a relationship with me, since he’d still write testimonials with words like “Mwah” and all that crap to other girls even when we were together. I could still see him show interest in other girls. He’d still text people who he doesn’t know back, and it was pretty harsh because I had to go so much convincing that I could go through it. And the hard part was that I was doing it alone, and then I start thinking about being a dupe. A dupe of my own knife. Which is plain stupid. No. it’s dumb. The dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my WHOLE life. Something that I would regret for the rest of my life. But then again, because of that – it brought me closer to God.



May 2004.

Ah. The month I’ve realized I’m finally over my past. Everything was grool. We were having a great summer together, we talked ‘til like 3 AM at the dorm’s gate and the security guards wouldn’t really mind, this was also when my affair wit Lemon Passion Iced Tea started. Usually, after class, Andrew and I would hit off ta ATC and spend our afternoons there. It was also in this month when Tom, Leah, Drew and I went ta Tagaytay. Had merienda at Starbucks and then dinner at Hen Lin’s rooftop. We were on a double date, so what do you expect? Cuddling galore. Haha! And uhm, some things we did there, let’s just leave it ta me and Drew, eh? :D Also, that time when we were at ATC ‘til 11 pm, then as we got ta Ed’s dorm we decided ta go ta Tagaytay, where I heard Drew sing in a karaoke machine for the first time, and it was a traumatizing experience for me. Haha! :D then we got back ta Ed’s at 5 something, and I like, slept in Drew’s lap for 30 minutes, but it was the best ‘coz nothing beats sleeping with Andrew staying up the whole time trynna “make all those bugs go away”. Nothing beats sleeping in Drew’s arms. Haha! The cheesiness.



June 2004.

Hold it. This was the month that I was born, and I was turning 18. and turning 18 had to be one of the most unforgettable things that could happen in a girl’s life. But it turned out to be totally the opposite for me. But still, something good came out of it. It was also this month when both my parents surprised me. It’s like, I was just talking to both of them over the phone yesterday, they’re like a thousand miles away, and now they’re here…right next to me. And this time, I just didn’t see them speak. I saw them speak. Now, like I said I was turning 18. I would really have wanted to celebrate it the trad way. But I didn’t, and I wanted the day ta be special, and I wanted it to be MY day for once. I’ve always celebrated birthdays with friends and all. Now I just wanted it for me. So I went on a huge shopping spree. I would never forget about that shopping spree. Which didn’t end in one day, by the way. For two days I was proud to say I had it all. Name it. MANGO. NINE WEST. TOPSHOP. CALVIN KLEIN. MAC. CLINIQUE. LANCOME. NIKE. NOTHING BUT WATER. STOKED. DEFECT. VIA VENETTO. ISSEY MIYAKE. (I had bought Issey’s limited edition of L’eau D’Issey D’ete, in which I also bought one for Drew for his birthday, and I really love that scent on him.), and the list goes on and on, and how can I forget? My p900. :D



July 2004.

This was the month when Drew, Tita Dinah (his mum), My mum and I had lunch altogether. It was really cool, seeing them make beso beso and all that, and how they easily bonded with each other, and have an exchange of stories about Drew and I, our lives and all. And it was so nice how the topic of discussion came with a phrase that I will never forget from my Tita Dinah, “sabi ko nga, pag nagkatuluyan ang dalawang ‘to…” Wow. I was moved. I’ve never met a Mom who was so supportive of her son being in a relationship. Tita was really nice to me. But that’s not just it, when my Mom and I got back to the dorms, she told me something that Tita whispered her. Something really nice, something that I prayed would happen too. Something that made me want to cry with tears of joy. Hmm. This was also the month when Mom had to fly back to Jeddah. It was sad. When they were about to drive off home, my Mom and I had a “moment” before she got to the car (her flight was the following day), we were both crying our eyes out, and she even managed to put humor into it. Clearly she was just trying to make things easier for both of us. She said, “next time, we’ll be buying waterproof mascara.” I should’ve added “next time it should be from Shu Uemura, not Clinique. “ But I guess I was just caught in the moment so bad that I just nodded and hugged her really tight.



August 2004.

For the first time in the history of mankind, Andrew skipped two of his classes to be with me. This was also the month of his birthday. Which, by the way turned out to be really weird and all, but it was all good. Enough said.



September 2004.

KTS. MR. CET. Ohmygah, everyone was screaming whenever he came out, and it really drove me crazy. Girls were crazy, and they kept taking pictures of him. I have it, caught on video. At KTS, when I helped him dressed up backstage, the girls were like, “Oh my God, ayan na siya!” and then when they saw ME help HIM undress they’re like, “ Ay…” and I thought to myself, “Sorry girls.” And then he said, “ Pasensiya na, Baby.” Well… is there anything else I can do? Mmm. MR. CET was less pressuring than KTS, and I’m speaking in terms of “girls”, but I had to go back to the “dressing room” everytime he had to change his outfit, since I was his P.A., and it felt good. And he really was grateful for it, and he proved how much later on. :D it was on that night we finally found our very own constellation – in a shape that takes form of a diamond – something that lasts forever. And how can I forget that overnight swimming?



October 2004.

Ah. Well, what can I say about this month? This was when I saw more of Andrew. :D I guess this is where he really showed me how much he loved me. And he really does love me so much. Guys like him are so rare. *sigh*… Need I say more? Aeh?



November 2004.

SO many changes. Both easy and hard to deal with at the same time. Then we really just spend SOOO much time together. This month we were just soooo inseparable. And then I realize how much faith I have in us. This is when we both start being so sentimental with each other. I mean, in a good way. We just don’t care anymore, y’know? We just get so comfortable with each other. We do things in front of each other and not mind anymore. It’s so freakin’ cool. Yes. So many changes. It wasn’t easy going through all those stages just to get to the good side of the change, but… it’s all good, baby.



December 2004.

It’s so sad SATC will be ending this month. I watched Sarah Jessica on Oprah and I cried with her. I may not have watched it from the very beginning, but I have reached Season 1, and I have been an avid viewer so it also saddens me. Andrew and I argue about so many things. Sometimes in my fault, sometimes it’s his fault. And then I get so over-sensitive and I tend to make things bigger, and sometimes he tends to be so self-centered that he only thinks about himself. We both know about it, but still we accept each other for who we both are. And he told me “…so let’s not be mad at each other anymore”. I’m praying for that. I’m really praying we get through it. As the year ends I thank God for all the blessings and the trials he gave me. And for the strength to go through it. God has been so good. God has always been good. God will always be good.

I just always try to remember the good things that happened this month. We both became so vulnerable – so exposed to each other. We just get…so emotional.





CONCLUSION….



I still couldn’t believe that it’s almost been a year. Thinking of all the things I’ve been through, I always thought it’s been such a long year. A really long one for me. I couldn’t believe I’ve been through ALL THAT in a year. I’ve finally become Alice, and I did get to Wonderland – but it wasn’t the Wonderland that I’ve always expected. At first it was full of chaos. And then things just get better. Things go that way, don’t they? Alice went through that too, didn’t she? I never really liked Alice. But then I realized – I have ALWAYS been Alice.



0 comments:

I AM A TEENAGE DRAMA QUEEN.



A little bit dramatic - but hell proud of it.



Okay, so what's new? I'm fixing my blog since there's nothing left to do at home.



Still working on learning Photoshop (it's never too late).



But probably I'm leaving it like this for the meantime while I still search for pictures for my new template. :D



I'm also working on designing our custom-made t-shirts (me and drew) and we already came up with the

"words" to be printed on the shirt and I couldn't wait. I'm so excited! And it would be fun when we both wear it together. We are such airheads. I love him so damn much. :)



I'm also changing the pictures here, Gawd, they are SO outdated. I really need ta get a new studio picture. Gosh darn it.



Mom finally agreed to my Post New Year shopping, (HELLO, MANGO! I fucking missed you!) and getting a milk rebond. HAH! :D



New year, New me.



Can't wait.





0 comments:

MY CHRISTMAS WISHLIST.



Take note : "Wish" list. *grins*



Since Christmas is "HAP'NIN", I'ma go do my very own wishlist. Since it's what you can actually find in almost every blog known to mankind.



It's not just for Christmas though, some I really want to get by next year.



And here goes! *pampampaaaa*...



Wish # 1 : THE new convertible Lexus. (Hah! ;p or maybe Camry's latest model. I'd settle for that. )



Wish # 2 : A Powerbook. (Gaaah!)



Wish # 3 : An iPod. (My Dad's already getting me one, I think. But I'd LURVE ta get it in the U2 Limited

edition.. :D)



Wish # 4: Topshop Sweatpants. (Okay, you might think that they're SOO last season, but WHO cares? I still

like sweatpants. They're... comf'table.)



Wish # 5 : Anything Vintage from I LOVE YOU. (I can't wait 'til I get to shop there!...AAHH!)



Wish # 6 : A P910i. ( Okay, I know I said when I have a P900, I wouldn't be asking for a new cellphone -ever.

But blame my Dad! He says he MIGHT get me one if Sony Ericsson "corrects" all the

cons. But don't get me wrong - I'm still in love with MAX. My phone. :D Yep, I named

it. )



Wish # 7 : A Dog of my own. ( A Cocker Spaniel, A Shar-pei or a Golden Retriever. I can't yet tho - not 'til

we have a house of our own...)



Wish # 8 : A 2 pc swimsuit. ( For that Galera trip! I already have tons but I want MORE! Roxy, Tabu,

Billabong...whatever!)



Wish # 9 : MORE M.A.C. Stuff! ( I love M.A.C. Need I say more?)



Wish # 10 : A Shu Uemura Lip gloss.



Wish # 11 : Philosophy Shampoo and Conditioner.



Wish # 12 : New Lingerie! (*whistles* haha!)



Wish # 13 : Something from Mango. ( I just SO love Mango. I have this...lust for Mango. Anything from

Mango will make me happy. My Mom got me a Top, a White Leather

Wallet, an Umbrella and Shades all at once from Mango on my birthday

and it coudn't make me any happier! Haha!)





MY 2005 MUST-HAVES



Must-have # 1 : A Makeover!



Must-have # 2 : A Milk Rebond.



Must-have # 3 : A M.A.C. face powder.



Must-have # 4 : A Shu Uemura Lipgloss.



Must-have # 5 : Kalteen Bars. If they really exist.



Must-have # 6: DVDs of SATC in seasons 1-6.



0 comments:

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

0 comments:



?Abbie Almasco and ?Andrew Bautista
  • Are rumoured to have conceived 2.4 malevolent children.
  • Wish to write to each other for the good of the free world.
  • Should invest now in crowd-controlling equipment.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy





Haha. What about that? Got this from Ala's site, tried it myself. Kewl, eh? Haha! What it says about us is nasty... haha! 2.4 malevolent children? WTF? :) and crowd-controlling equipment, eh? LOL!

Here's the other one:

Abbie Alodia Almasco and Andrew Kay Bautista
  • Might conceive less than zero Elven kids.
  • Like to play all kinds of games for the foreseeable future.
  • Look out for each other.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy

Haha! less than zero elven kids? whas that supposed ta mean, eh?

Whut-aver. :D

0 comments:

IDENTITIES, GUILT TRIPS, AND ENDORPHINS.



Wow. It’s been two weeks since my last entry. It seemed like such a long time, I guess I was used ta updating it like every single day of the three weeks I’ve spent at home, practically just practicing my new job, being a couch potato.



Anyways, a lot has happened for the past two weeks. And I’d like ta share what happened then… with the help of my trusty light blue Hello Kitty organizer (and it’s covered wit terry cloth, btw. Haha!)… let’s go into detail, shall we?



Sunday, November 7, 2004

Got a manicure, a pedicure and a foot spa, then headed ta Alabang ta buy some groceries. We stopped by Converse where I finally got a pair o’pink chucks, then Bench, then PCX then finally Shopwise. I was all excited getting back ta the dorms since I missed everything about it… we had a lil argument though, me and Baby. ‘Cause he brought up the topic about him staying in Pasay, and it kinda ticked me off because I had the hardest time not thinking about it, and I was tryna focus on convincing myself that I should just think of us enjoying every moment we spend together… we ate dinner together, and it was okay then. We missed each other soooo much.



Monday, November 8, 2004

We practically spent the whole freakin’ day together. Then we watched “The White Chicks”, we were laughing our heads off like a bunch of retarded kids not caring of what other people think. “Other” people were practically like, 5-10 people in the entire cinema. Haha.



Tuesday, November 9, 2004

There was something about this day, even if there were some tick-off moments. We just spent a lot of time together. Talking in the square canteen, laughing non-stop…we also had fun, btw while we were researching for his assignment in Consti at the library. Spent like more than an hour looking for a freakin book! That isn’t actually from like, the 1800s with almost all it’s pages torn… Gawd. We decided ta eat at Walter, then hung out at Ed’s, then we spent 15 minutes at the guard house, and when we got the chance, we kept giving each other smacks while the guards weren’t looking! I will never forget that cute face…when he just looks ta his right and when they aren’t looking, he’d turn ta me and we’d smack! Haha! :D



Wednesday, November 10, 2004

It was our free day (JOU3-2) so, Baby and I met up at 2:19 P.M. and ate at Wendy’s then we decided ta watch “The Grudge”. I convinced him ta watch it. Though just like me, he is a sort of a scaredy-cat. We missed 15 minutes of the movie, so we decided ta wait ‘til that part we missed… we were supposed ta stand up but then no one did, so we watched the movie again. We practically watched it twice. That’s thrice for me. One of the things I wouldn’t forget is when we were walking (hands on hips as always), out of nowhere he just held me closer and kissed my head. It’s the little things that he does that makes my knees weak. Gaah! When we got back ta the dorms, we were supposed ta sit by the sidewalk in front of the e-house but he decided not to, ‘cause whenever I sit down my shirt goes up and a part of my back is shown and he says he’s selfish and he doesn’t want other people ta see that. Sweet.



Thursday, November 11, 2004



There’s always something about the 11th that falls on Thursdays. It’s sorta like Friday the 13th. But way back in high school, we used to think of this day as bad luck. Probably because of the events that happened on November 11th two years back. As for this year, this was the year we had a big fight. Enough said.



Friday, November 12, 2004



You know that feeling when you wished, before you hopped in your cloud, that you would never go down again? Wake up again, I mean. Well, this was one of those days. And thank God for Caloi and his gf, Charlene… and my mom. God, I know was able ta comfort me too.



Saturday, November 13, 2004



This was when we patched things up. whew.



Sunday, November 14, 2004



Mmm… can’t go into detail. I’ll keep that between me and… my diary. ;p Haha! Life….



This week, well… It’s all about drama.



Yep, drama, drama, drama.



It’s not the first time I cried in front of him. But this time it was because of…well, the reason that he just might leave. And he kept comforting me and he gave me his hanky… in which I used to wipe off my smudged mascara. Thanks Clinique…for not being waterproof. Haha! It added ta the drama. Wish I wore eyeliner that time too… only that I always had the urge to wipe my tears off, and it later turned out ta be hideous. Thankfully, I skipped the eyeliner that day.



Right now I’m at the dorm, typing this… while Andrew is probably on the way ta Airlinks, ta take his exams.



Oh boy.



I couldn’t help but think about it. Well, you can’t blame me though. If you’re stuck in one place with no one to talk to… you’d end up wandering off, too.



And since I’m left wit my trusty laptop, here I am doing a Carrie Bradshaw.



Mmm… remember what I said about hopping into a cloud? Maybe I’ll do just that right now. But don’t worry, I know I’ll get back down. I’ll post this tonight.



But before that, I just wanna say that – Life, no matter how harsh it has been to us, we should always find a reason why we should love it. And, in case we don’t find one, eventually, the reason will find it’s way ta us. Trust me.





November 24, 2004 Entry:



WHERE HAS THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS GONE?



Ahem. First of all, I would like ta greet my Hubby a HAPPY MONTHSARY! It’s our 10th month of being together. Whew.



It was weird tho. We had a lil fight. We kinda patched things up at Starbucks. Hmm. For the first time, the fight did not last for a whole day.



Wow. For the first time my Baby actually lowered his pride for me. But we actually talked about his attitude when he gets mad or sumn. And yep, that’s how he is. And for the first time – he let it go.



Why did we fight? Hah. Don’t ask. It’s silly, actually. Later on, as we were having dinner at Food Choices ( Tender Bob, yum!!! ) we were laughing about it. I knew it. If you only knew it would be something we really should laugh about.



I gave him a tour of ATC. :D hehehe…



I checked out STOKED and saw a whole new pile of Havaianas in different colors and designs! *drool*



I promised myself ta let my white leather Mango wallet take a breather from all the money it’s losing, and save some money for next year. Haha. Watch out, MANGO. TOPSHOP. PRP. VNC. I LOVE YOU. STOKED. Abbie’s comin’ ta raid ya next year. Haha!



As for the title, well Christmas decors are everywhere. But I just don’t feel it. Hmm. It’s been like that ever since I got here and my parents are like, a thousand miles away from me. Not that I’m not happy wit my relatives here, but y’all know that it’s different when your parents are around.



Drew passed his exam at Airlink. I expected that. I’m happy, but… I’m not. Hmm. The irony.



We watched “SAW” today, instead of Alexander. I always wanted ta watch that movie, but then it’s like, I lost the interest of watching it. Stupid me. We will watch it, though. I just don’t know when. So yeah, we watched SAW instead, one helluva cool movie. At least we think so. Thing is, it’s up to you ta conclude how the movie ends. Gaah.



The day ended okay. On our way back ta Dasma, I got to talk ta his lil sister. She has a really cute voice. I wanna meet her. I remember when Tita told me that she’d invite me over sometime, and my Mum din’t hesitate saying yes. :D Hehe. I can’t wait ‘til that happens, see how it is there, see where my Baby spent the past 4 years of his life in, and the things he does, his relatives. Although it is a lil bit scary. Gets me nervous. I’m just so lucky that both our mothers are very supportive of us. Tita checks up on me from time to time, she even calls me. She wrote me this letter that said “ You are one of us, We love you.” *kilig* … hmm, when can I get ta go there? but that would be fun. I’d beat him at Tekken. Uh… I hope so. Christie’s mah girl. ;p



Okay, I’ll go hop in my cloud now. Baby’s waitin fer me at Dreamland. Haha!



November 26, 2004 Entry:



A MIRROR OF MY PAST.



Right now I'm at JFH208, in my RTV newswriting class, again seeing my ex in that face.



Nothing much to say today... Mmm... :D



Well yeah, I'm practically doing okay now. I'm getting me a new pair of FLIPS this sunday. Woohoo! So much to choose from. hehehe... makes me feel like getting two at once.



Nah. I'll save the other one for next year. :D



Gotta go now, we're required ta write two scripts...*sigh*



I love my course. :D



0 comments:

WHAT THE FUCK?



Do you actually get that feeling, first thing in the morning, when you just can't move because your joints, and I mean every part of it hurts like hell... ??? Schupid. It's like I can't get out of bed anymore. Every move I make has this corresponding whine. It's like I move my back and it's like "AH!", I move my legs it's like "OOOH!"

I sit down and it's like "OW!"... y'know... Gawd, this is stupid.



It's actually a miracle I got to survive through out the day...even if it's just... like, 4 in the afternoon. Well at least I've gotten this far, eh?



Right now I'm seated next ta Drew in one of the net shops just right in front of school, together with blogging, I'm researching for our report tomorrow on Communication Research about... well, research. Silly we got the introductory part but in a way it's ayt. At least I get to get it over with before they all do... hehe.



I swear I'm never gonna joke again! It's like this little joke and he gets mad, FINE!!!! Grr...



It is kinda irritating if you come to think of it. He shouldn't apply such attitudes to ME! But, there's nothing else I can do about it.



At least I know I'm not supposed to make fun of him anymore...in a cute way. Even if I AM his gf. *shrugs*... Silly, that's what it is. I wouldn't mind if he made fun of me, I mean... that's him... and it's ME he's making fun of. So what? right?... but okay, I'll stop blabbering. That's me, not him. Even if we are a couple, we're still two different people. Which kinda sucks sometimes. But without it being that way, just isn't as challenging... so yeah. Whatever.



I already made a draft of what I'm supposed to blog right now but the diskette just ain't working, so I'll just post it when I get ta blog again... which is, I'm not sure when. Mmm...



Wow. It's been two weeks since I last posted an entry. Been super busy, even if most of my classes end at 11. It's what I do afterwards, y'know. And even if I don't do much I've just gotten thinnER! And that SUCKS! Can I get any thinner??? ...



Psh.



I hate this.



*deep sigh*



Get me a freaken Cosmo! ... make that a barrel, please?

0 comments:

"BABY, I'M HOME!!!"



"Hi Baby. How was work? How did your day go?"



It was like the usual days, when he'd get home from work. But something was different about tonight. He walked up to me without saying a word. He gave me a hug and whispered "I love you so much, Baby"... and hugged me even tighter. I smiled while my eyebrows met. We just stood there, hugging each other for more than a minute. It was nothing grand. But it was one of those moments that I will always remember.



*ZAP*



Here I go again.



One of the things I promised myself when I first got into this relationship, was not to think too far ahead. Not to dream too far ahead. But here I am again.



It would be great. I would see him first thing in the morning, prepare his breakfast, cook for him....



We'd have a family of our own. How beautiful our children would look like. This vision of us in the beach. How I would be that happy mother, that happy wife... glaring over her family... giving out a big sigh... thanking God for everything he has given.



Yes. It has gotten that far with me.



Sometimes I thought, even if it doesn't work out now, and he finds someone else... God forbid... all that I pray is that we'd still end up together. We meet a few years later... and we'd end up together.



Kung baga, sa dinami dami rin ng pinag daanan nyang babae, kami parin sa huli.



I'd like that.



I'd like to be the woman he goes home to at night.

Who'd give him wake-up pecks.

Be the mother of his children.

Who'd fix his tie in the morning.

Give him back rubs.

I'd like to be the one who'd be worrying when he isn't home by 11 P.M.

I'd like to be the one he's having a fight with.

I'd like to be the one who gets pissed at him.

I'd like to be the one picking up after him.



I'd like to be his - forever.



No.



I'd love that.



I don't see any problem going through so much shit in life. As long as I still have him. I know, I've said it over and over. But I really do feel that way.



I can't help it. Andrew is just...so perfect to me. I love everything about him. Sure his stubborness ticks me off big time, or when he's really manhid and I'd end up crying because he just couldn't get the message, when he makes me feel like I'm his least priority, but still manages to make up for it, when he's really quiet at dinner, and even if we're together he'd still wear "that face" or feel sleepy, even if that was the only time we spent together in a day, when he looks at other girls, when he ignores me...yeah, ALL THAT. Inspite of those, I still...I still.



I still love him.



And I don't want to stop.



Pray. I should keep doing that. My Mom and Joyce told me to keep praying. Prayers are very strong.



That's how I had Andrew. :)



At most times, when I cry alone, I always keep this vision. Weird as it may sound to you people who aren't very religious, but it have always worked for me.



Since I didn't have anyone to lean on, to cry to, or to hug when I cry, I close my eyes and think of God hugging me. And it just makes me cry more. Because it felt like I was releasing all my pain to him. It's both beautiful and painful for me. And then in a few minutes, I stop crying. I always thought: God tapped my shoulder.



ON THE LIGHER SIDE...



Carlos Miguel "Caloi" Locsin is my childhood friend(who also happens to be Chris Tiu's childhood friend, plays basketball with the likes of Brent Javier, Borgy Manotoc, the Turvey Brothers, A Kagawad at their SK in Urdaneta Village in Makati, a masscomm student at UP Diliman, directed an MTV, been in two Music Videos, featured in Meg Magazine,a heartthrob, and someone that I had a crush on, back in December. hehe. wow, that was a pretty long introduction).



After 6 months since we last saw each other, we finally met up at G4. He was 10 minutes late! Gaah! Well it was partly my fault. We were roaming around Glorietta wondering where ta eat, and it took us like, an hour! Haha! He was like, can I punch you? Can I? Can I?



Like it's my fault we can't decide where ta settle our butts. I really couldn't think of a place ta eat...



But then it was my idea ta eat at CPK, so we both headed for it. Ordered the usual- BBQ Chicken Pizza. :)

And it was his treat - AGAIN! It was my call when it came ta the movie tickets. We were supposed ta watch The Forgotten but then di na daw pwede magpapasok, so we just decided ta watch the advance screening of The Incredibles.



The movie was a definite experience. It felt great sitting in front of very, very annoying children who asked their mothers questions like they were in Timbuktu or something. I'm like, the whole world can hear you!!! Caloi just kept leaning over and whispering : Hey, you okay? You wanna sit somewhere else? And I'm like, No, I'm okay here...



After the movie, we went around and decided ta try Gloria Jeans. My first time. :) Had White Choclit Oreo... It was good enough... :)



And then I was picked up right in front of Tower Records. Gaah. It's gonna be a long time before we see each other again.



I love having conversations with that guy. He's smart kase.



Anyways, thanks Curly. Had a really great time. and I'm still praying.



Okay guys... gotta end this now. Check out Drew's blog! I fixed it, but...just like this though, it's not done yet.



I can't wait ta see him tomorrow. *sigh* Finally.



Honey, Happy Monthsary ta you and Zee. Mwaaaahhh!

0 comments:

GOING THROUGH MY YESTERDAY...



Our yesterday, that is.



I'm just talking about "yesterday-yesterday". I was talking about our past. Our past loves. Past heartaches.The "past-past". The Past we both wanted to forget. And had such a hard time going through it.



Honey and I barely know each other. We've met once, and we only kept communication going through tagboards, text messages and emails.(that y'all know.) Last night, Honey gave me the company...that felt like she was just right there beside me. Right. We barely know each other, but I can say in a way we've made up because we both knew that we went through the same shit. And we both know how it feels like.



When you fall in love, and I mean deeply in love, for the very first time... you don't know what's gonna happen. You don't know what's in store for you. All you know is THAT feeling of being in-love. Like everything happening is a dream... it's like, you can't feel the ground anymore...and every moment spent with your "other half" is... jeez. There's no word to define that feeling. Heck. Feelings can never be defined in words. I love you isn't enough anymore. Seriously. I LOVE YOU just isn't enough.



We both got our hearts broken for the first time. And it was unforgettable. It had left me nothing. I used to think, "Heck. I fall in love and end up in pieces. With a heavy head and used tissues."



Every morning I woke up feeling dead. I just lay there staring out the window, thinking of how something so beautiful... could end... just like that. Just like that it all ends. Suddenly you wake up to reality alone. And your feet's on the floor. No butterflies in the stomach. Instead, you feel sick from your drinking session the night before. You look in the mirror and don't like what you see. You start wishing you were someone else. Anyone. As long as they were happy.



I went through that for a year and eight months. Yet I survived. I promised myself that I would set my priorities, and that I wouldn't fall - again. I always told myself, "I could make it without a guy." Thinking of what I had gone through. I didn't want to fall again. Whether that means falling in love, or falling into pieces. I didn't want to feel either of them. I wanted to save myself from the pain.



Honey's right. Love is a choice. A choice sometimes not made by us. I did not choose to fall in love. I just did.



I sometimes thought that my heart had a mind of it's own. Like I have two brains in two different parts of my body. And I always wondered... which one should I use?



I had turned down a lot of guys (some I even liked) in that span of time. I even started falling for some of them. But I just did not feel like taking the risk again. Gimme a break. Loving...is not a joke.



Until someone came along.



Now y'all know that part of the story.



I found someone I wanted to take the risk with again. Someone who I believed was worth it.



And boy, was I right.



This one was different though. And I admit, better. Although I sure was in love with my past... but maybe I feel this way because I have grown and learned from that experience. Making me more mature with things. Though it might seem that I still act immature about things, that's just how I am. Thankfully, Andrew has learned how to handle US well. We both are doing a great job at it, even if we both sometimes forget to understand. But like I said before, I have always felt how we were meant for each other - in every single way. His liablities are my attributes (and vice versa).



Andrew is perfect for me. And I am willing to go through all the shit... just as long as I have him by my side. It's more than enough to keep me going. Plus, my faith in God. Who has always been good to me. I'm not scared anymore, as long as I know he's there.



That's the only thing that's scaring me. Not having him there with me. Not walking on the road, through the road with me. And instead of going further, I go back to the dark road.



Maybe I am willing to accept what might happen. I just might be able to. As long as we both try to go through it together no matter what.



Last night he told me "we will fight".



Someone told me that before but ... It ended up with only me fighting for it.



I know Andrew meant what he said. I know he wants to fight. But I was scared.



I just realized. There's something scarier that being left alone.

To me, it was being left by Andrew. Someone that I TRULY love. Someone that TRULY loves me.

0 comments:

MY WORLD STOPPED SPINNING.



- For a moment there it did.



First PMA, now what? PATTS?



I was at CPK with Caloi, having lunch… when all of a sudden, I get a text that says he might just finish 2nd sem, and he’s off ta “being a pilot”.



Gawd, this is so funny. Remember I mentioned something about checking out his friendster photo, and found this really cute picture of him, it’s caption said “future pilot?...nah, just sound trippin’ “… and then I sent him a message that said it would be kewl, since I always thought of being a flight stewardess, and if he would be a pilot, that would rock.



But I was kidding.



Or maybe I’m just being selfish.



I mean, if you think of it, it’s a lot better than being in Baguio, since Pasay is just one ride away from Dasma, and we could see each other more often… and when we graduate, we could work in the same airline, and see the world together…



But then what about now? How are we gonna live through days – of not being together, just like we were used to?



I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m scared. Like hell.



What if he falls for some hot chick while I’m not there beside him? What if he finds someone better than me? What if…



What if he turns out just to be like my past?



What if he doesn’t fight for me?



What if his love just … slips away?



What if I lose him?



*pause*



*tears fall on cheeks*



*stops typing for a while*



I’m not being selfish. I want Andrew to be happy, I want him to do what he wants to do. But you don’t understand. You don’t understand. Whatever I say, it will still sound selfish to you. You don’t know what it’s like to be in my shoes.



IN OUR SHOES – that goes for me AND Honey.



Of course we couldn’t help but think of ourselves as well.



How the hell are we gonna survive?



Don’t tell me that I’m exaggerating, but it’s hard when you don’t see each other very often, and we’ve been used to seeing each other every single day of our freakin lives. We’ve spent days being together. We’ve always had dinner together, we always say GOODNIGHT in front of each other… I run to him when I have problems…



How the hell am I gonna do that when he’s all the way there in PASAY?



And how about his friends? Yeah… the people he gets to meet there? What if they’re like, a group full of all these PLAYAHS… and take him ta places that could…



What if he changes?



What if we grow apart?



What if…





I DO NOT WANT TO END UP IN THE VERY SAME ROAD I WAS – TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO.



Don’t tell me to calm down. Don’t even.



This is so weird. I’ve been telling Honey this and that – and now it’s like… Shit, did I say all that? How did those words come out of my mouth when… it’s not easy to do?

I really am mixed up right now.



You guys, you just have no idea HOW MUCH I love him.



Only God knows how much. And God knows, how hard I have been praying for both of us. And I’ve always asked God – I’ve always prayed… not to take Andrew away from me.



THERE IS NO LIFE WITHOUT ANDREW.



But then again, that’s just me. I don’t know if he feels the same.



Thing is, Andrew himself does like the idea.



I really don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.



ANDREW IS MY EVERYTHING.



If he transfers to another school, a lot of things will change. And I’m aware of that.



Then again the future seems so blurry.



AFTER ALL THAT – WHAT NOW?



What’s gonna happen to him? Me?





US?



Right at this moment, I feel like punching the wall.



But I still love myself. I don’t want to get hurt.



I’ve been hurt one too many times already. And I’ve been taken for granted. I’ve been dumped already, and I’ve been used… by so many people. But still …



I never stop loving.



And what do I get in return?



I get to be left behind.

Thrown in a corner.

Torn off in a book.





Really, is this where I’m going? Is this what I’m destined for?



To be stepped on by men over and over?



TO BE STEPPED ON BY MEN – THAT I LOVE… OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER?



‘Til the time comes that my beliefs in love will simply be - ….



‘Til the time comes that I become the most bitter woman in the universe.



‘Til the time comes that love will mean nothing to me.



Then I just won’t believe in love anymore. And I grow old alone.



What if he thinks that I’m not worth fighting for, waiting for…



After all that I’ve done.

After all that we’ve been through.



…after all that we’ve been through.



I am just NEVER enough. I am just never enough to make a man happy. Never enough.



… Maybe I am thinking way too ahead…too much even.



I’m blogging this because this is how I feel. Hell yeah. This is my blog anyway.

0 comments:

THE MARKET IS A DEATH CHAMBER.



For all those poor lil aminuls. Aww. If it isn’t for my Grandmum I wouldn’t be going to that place coz all I get is being slobbed by all these old disgusting men. Not to mention all those boys who just make papansin. Eew. Okay, forgive me. Just that it’s irritating.



Anyways, I didn’t watch the man kill all those fishes… it was horrible, they were still breathing!!! And he takes out all their scales, the fins, the tail, and the gills… I just looked at them in pity, and then wondered how could they live their lives knowing that one day, they’re all just gonna be lying in one man’s plate.



Okay, y’all are gonna be whining like : What is she talking about?



Yeah, yeah… unless you have a heart of a true animal lover you wouldn’t know what I’m talking about.



Grabe, I checked out Andrew’s friendster pictures… he copied my signature pose! ( Franco calls it the “stroke” coz it looks like I got stroked or sumn, I wink and I stick my tongue out..hehehe…although my Baby din’t do the exact thing…) and then there’s this other picture, when he said that it looked like he was a pilot or sumn, he looked soooooo gwapo. Hehe. Kinikilig ako. Gawd, do I miss him. Can’t wait to feel his hugs.



Oh, and belated happy birthday ta Hello Kitty. I should’ve been in that commercial! Next ta Tim Yap and Tessa Prieto. My Fashion Idols. :D Ionno, I din’t really like em at first but then I realized that they have so much confidence to wear anything they want, they break every rule in fashion and from that they create a new one. I have learned that you should never be afraid to wear what you want. The only secret to wearing something that doesn’t really match is to carry it with confidence. You have to have that confidence to be able to carry the outfit properly. And don’t think of what other people would think of you.



We are have the rights to express ourselves through fashion. They must be worn on the right places though. I hate it when I see all these girls wearing tubes in markets. Ugh. If you’ve got it, flaunt it – in front of the right people.



I had chopsticks on my hair once, and people in Dasma started laughing at me. And I’m like, HELOU? Haven’t you seen anyone use chopsticks instead of a ponytail or sumn? Or maybe that’s just how people are there. Ignoramies.

Although, I tend to dress simple lately. I don’t think I should waste my time getting dolled up, strutting around the wrong people. In dasma, you’d waste your time strutting, dahling.



Although there are some who dress good. Thank goodness.



Fashion is in my blood. That’s how it is. Give me the right time and place, I’ll show you what I’m talking about.



I wanna go back to Baguio. I’d lurve ta be in that strip full of Ukay-Ukays again. Baguio is definitely THE ukay-ukay heaven. Gaah! :D



BARNICLES!



Hehe. I’m so full of Spongebob lately. :D Don’t you just love him?

0 comments:

THE HAUNTED.





SHIT. That movie didn't really let me sleep so well. UGH. Really, I know I have been like, hiding over Karl's shoulder whenever he tells me ta "Look, Abbie!" Argh. He kept forcing me ta look or something. No way! And I did the right thing. Coz not looking already scared the hell outta me. Y'all might not find the movie really scary...but I do.



Gaah!!





Reading Honey's blog really made me feel how she felt. I know EXACTLY how it's like, especially when she said that it just reminded her of her past. What she have gone through. - Pronto. Right there and then I said to myself : I SO know what she's talking about.



Honey. Hang in there, girl.



Wish me luck in finding a way how to put myself to sleept tonight. Damn.





0 comments:

NOT AGAIN.



My gawd, it's her again. For the freakin' fourth time. Heart Evangelista in the flesh. - Ugh, like I haven't seen her. No really, I'm not making this up but it's like she just pops out of nowhere. I go to a place - and she's there! I turn and I see her! Anyways, nothing good's coming out of my mouth so I'll just shut the hell up. Oh, but her get-up was cute by the way. She wears quite daring clothes now. :) And, in fairness to her, she looked great.



I watched THE GRUDGE (Hollywood version) today. AAAAHHH! It freaked me out. I didn't have any plans of watching it, but as I opened the van's door at the terminal, I saw two jerks sitting at the back. Karl and Basil. Haha! So there, they told me I could tag along since they were with their other dorm mates (girls), and they were nice. :)



The movie is still haunting me!!!! AAAAHHHH!!! It's cool though, and I've always adored Jason Behr, just that he looks HOT with long hair and his cute bu- ... hehe... :D



Anyways, I recommend you watch it though.



This Friday, Caloi and I will be meeting up at G4, and we plan on watching THE FORGOTTEN.



I was supposed ta get myself another pair of Havaianas (in black)... but they won't be getting the new stock 'til next week. I'm gettin' these pair of vintage sweatpants from Topshop, too. Today I got another one of those boyshorts. (Yeah, Baby! An addition to my Topshop Undies Kolekssiyon), and I'll also be gettin' me a pair o' chucks - in pink. As much as Andrew despises them, I like Chucks. Chucks ain't just for punks. (Kewl, they rhyme.)



Can't wait ta get back to school.



Oh, and... I'M OFFICIALLY A PART OF JOU3-2!!!! WOOHOO!!! ;p



Hi Baby! :) ... Miss you.





Oh, and Honey! I tried it just like you suggested:



Angel

You are one of the few out there whose wings are

truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and

divine, you are one blessed with a certain

cosmic grace. You are unequalled in

peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of

Light your wings are massive and a soft white

or silver. Countless feathers grace them and

radiate the light within you for all the world

to see. You are a defender, protector, and

caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver

of the wrong, chances are you are taken

advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.

But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in

everyone and so this mistreatment does not make

you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will

try to help misguided souls find themselves and

peace. However not all Angelics allow

themselves to be gotten the better of - the

Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting

for the sake of Justice and protection of those

less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever

change - the world needs more people like you.

Image Copyright Sheila Wolk (prints available

through treefreegreetings.com) - words added by

myself.





0 comments:

HAPPY HALOWEEN!

(Happy?)



I've been wondering on what to blog about today.. Hmmm...



Oooh. White Flag's on the radio. I miss Edikins. Aww. Whenever he'd hear that song playing he'd text me and say "Are you at the stall?" Haha! It always plays when I'm around. Jeez.



Today I woke up to find candles surrounding my Grandad's Urn. I gave him a smile.



Right now I just finished helping my Grandmum in the kitchen. She shouldn't be doing the chores around here anymore. We don't have a maid right now. But she's not supposed to wash the dishes and wipe the table and all that, that's supposed to be OUR job. But my cousins aren't willing to help. Or maybe they're just too occupied playing and being a couch potato.



Life.



And my friends? Where are they when you need them?



I can't wait 'til my parents get a house of our own. Really. When I can live my life the way I used to with my parents around. When I can have the room all to myself. When I won't be worried about anything missing. I already visualized what my room would look like, and my Mom agreed to me having my own closet in my room, and my bathroom's gonna be in white, with mirrors looking just like the ones in dressing rooms. Gaah! Can't wait. Mmm...White fur rags. Bright bathroom lights. A Bathtub.I would have an elevated bed, A red and white couch, a table by the window for my laptop... Argh! :) I couldn't wait.



Mmm...I wonder how Honey's doing. Hey girl. Zee here already? :)

0 comments:

JEM M'OUN FOUS!!!



Ah. I remember reading that french word in one of the magazines I bought and I was sharing it with Kristine, a friend of mine over a frapp at Starbucks. We had just met up with "Big A", as I called him, he was a Talent Manager, and we were supposed to do a VTR the next week. I wasn't supposed to tell my Mom about it, but being the "best buds" that we are, it felt so difficult for me to keep a secret from her, so I told her, hoping she'd let me. Unfortunately, I had hoped too much. She told me a line that I had already memorized... " Finish your studies, and then you can do whatever." Gaaah! Moms and their lines.



Today I paid my dentist a visit...It's been a LOOOONG time since I last visited her... and she gave me some news. I don't really know how to feel about it... but she said, we might just put my braces back on... hmm. I was kinda excited 'cause I somehow felt that teeth still needed to be "lined properly". My dentist said my teeth were fine, only that the lower ones are "crowding" that we just MIGHT put them back. Mmm... but the thing is, it would be hard...I mean, the maintenance and all and...I would find it hard eating the food that I like OUTSIDE. *sob*... but then thinking of the effect afterwards... :D :D :D



Finally, Ms. Copycat got to her senses (after my friends sent her messages, practically cussing her...haha!) and she took my picture out. She din't reply to my messages though. Thanks to my friends. Ban and Maya to name a few. They told me themselves that they have...cussed her. Haha! Mmm.. Glad that was over.



My Baby texted me this morning saying "Love you..." Okay, probly most of you would say, "Uh, so what?" but actually...for me, saying "I Love You" out of nowhere is just plain romantic. And besides, nothing beats reading something like that in the morning. :)



Gawd, I need to get a new studio picture...



THE FAMILY FEUD.



Back in 1998, my Mom would LURVE to play that game on the computer. I'd sit by her on weekends, watching her play, and help her too. But what I'm talking about is something else.



I'm talking about the family feud that never ends. It doesn't involve me. It's between my Uncle and my Grandmother. Yes, it's between the mother and son. Something that all of us have gotten used to.



It's hard not to have a side. But I'm supposed to do that. I'm not supposed to pick a side. I couldn't make them get along. My role is simple. To listen to both their rants.



My Uncle would usually vent out on me when I'm in the front seat of the car. Let's say, he just picked me up from the dorms and we're on our way home, he'd tell me his reasons of being mad and I'd understand him in a way. Then, when I get home my Grandmother would find the perfect timing for her to vent out, when everyone's in the room, we'd sit by the dining table and she'd tell me in a very low voice. And I understand her reasons for being mad, too. They don't fight most of the time, but there are times when things go out of the way and you hear screaming.



It reminded me of my parents sometimes. But they barely fought when we were in Jeddah. But whenever they do, my Mum would shut up, and she'd let Pop say all these harsh words. She says she does it to save things from getting any worse. I always admired her for that. I always wished that I had the same strength as my Mom.

My Mom's my hero.



I hate it when people shout at each other, especially when there are kids around. That makes them traumatized. I've had my share of experiences. I always thought to myself, "I wouldn't marry someone like that..." But I bet my Mom din't see it coming.



That's what's scary about marriage. Who knows, one day you couldn't live without each other, and after a couple of years, you couldn't live with each other. But...Gaah! That's just me and my paranoid self. As always. I think of things way too much.



The way I see it though, if ever Andrew and I would get married, things won't get that worse. We settle things through talking. We talk, we don't scream. (Actually I do. hehe. Like, when I'm totally ticked off or something.) It's my outlet. He let me do the talking first, then I hear his side out, then we clear things out, and we're okay. That's how we do it. Sometimes he even laughs at me when I burst out with furiosity. I just talk non-stop, and I have all these sorts of hand gestures, I even jump sometimes, and he'd end up laughing at me. He'd tell me how cute I look when I'm all red and angry.Grr. But hey, I only do that when we're the only ones walking our way out ta Dinner. But when he's the one who gets ticked off? Good luck sakin! Haha!



OH, FAIRY GODMOTHER?



I called out.



"Please give me someone who would listen to my stories and react to them? It doesn't matter what you give me, I'm in dire need of one. Please make sure they'd be interested in the things I'd say...I need someone who'd interact with me verbally right now. Right now,in person. Someone my age, Someone really fun to tell stories to...Please? "



Gaah. I think I'm going crazy!



Mmm... Where is my Fairy Godmother by the way?



Maybe I need to see more normal people. Damn, I din't meet up with Basil, Ed and Karl today at ATC. I had to go to church. Basil called me, he was making kulit as usual, he always does that to me. He said they were going to ATC and he was forcing me to go. Unfortunately, I couldn't. Sayang. Miss them already.



I miss my friends back in high school. I miss Ayah and Maya. I miss hanging out with Choel and Arjaenelle. I miss Ja, too. I mean, he was a great friend. I miss Najmah. I miss Moi and Kurt. I miss Taten. I miss Leslie. I miss T.G. . I miss Jim. I miss my teachers. I miss Strell Ann, Sarah Jane and Dianne. I miss Carlo. Ban your name din't come up 'cause we basically go to the same school, y'know. Hehe.





*sigh*...

0 comments:

MY QUANDARIES.



Often times, when a thought pops into my head, I hear Carrie's voice narrating it. It's so weird. It felt like I was SO into the show that I always felt like I have this co- ... nevermind.



As for the title, here it goes : People, no matter what age will always find the silliest reason to cry over something. Whether it's something that might've hurt us emotionally, physically. We all have our weaknesses.



I get so... vulnerable at times. And the thing is, when I get hurt, I tend to say things that I feel at the moment, but not really mean. I just did to Andrew. I know it's something that's gonna pass, but it's one attitude I really want to change. I just hate it whenever I feel like whatever I'm doing is just... not enough. That inspite of everything, I get this. But that's just my paranoid side talking.



Funny thing is that it got to me so much that I looked like this child, faced down on my pillow, staring at the wall and crying my eyes out. It did help. Crying always helps. It's an outlet for me. The only thing that makes me cry harder sometimes is that I always do that alone.



Ohwell.

0 comments:

READ, DON'T SKIM.



It might have been the cause of all these misunderstandings.



If you were mad about what I said about ALEXANDRA, and you might've thought I was saying something against Atenistas, well you're wrong.



What I actually meant to say was, she used my picture, her grammar was wrong, and THEN she says she's from ADMU. If you actually took time to understand the sentence you'd get my point. It's as simple as this: I meant to say she was a fraud. Because if she really was from ADMU she wouldn't be having problems with english. Now, if this is what you're all furious about, then I might have made my point clear. But if it's something else, well I don't know what you're talking about. It's your problem. Basta ang alam ko, wala na talaga akong ginagawang mali.



ON HONEY'S ENTRY...



That was really nice of her to say something like that. We almost had the same experience pala. But the only difference is that he broke up with me because he was having a hard time dealing with LDRs.



Haaaay. She made her point so clear. Basta. It just felt nice that we barely even know each other, and she has this effort to make me forget about things I shouldn't be thinking about. It's like, even if I didn't know her that well, I could trust her. Really. I really appreciate all this, Honey. And of course, for sharing your story... :)



REALITY CHECK!



Sembreak's almost over. Gaaah!



And I'm putting my tagboard back. Thought about it. Whatever. :)

0 comments: