I texted him yesterday about my sentiments. About how I feel that it looks like he doesn’t give a damn about us anymore. It’s not only that, I guess. I knew from a friend that he told her : I’ve never been this happy BEFORE. My initial reaction? napatulala nalang ako. How dare he say that?...Hey, I know first of all, I should REALLY stop bragging about this, since it’s been decades since HELL happened, but… I just couldn’t accept the fact that he’d compare his past relationships wit his current. As far as I know I did everything to make him feel happy. The love that I felt for him that time was so strong. That I was willing to do anything for him. I just didn’t know saan ako nagkulang.. and after all that he’d say he doesn’t have plans of having a gf. August 7 >em> pa naging sila. I know he was asking for forgiveness. But after all the pain he’s caused is TEXTING enough? Gawd, I deserve something more than that.

Now he’s mad at me.


A: Hndi k mnlang b ngtka kng bkt kmi sby2 2mtwg sau khpn, ja?alm m b hndi m kmi masi3 kng iniicp nmin n hndi n kmi imptnte sau…nbti m b c mya?bday nya kahapon…alm nmin n msaya k ngaun ja.Kya lng sana naman kht knit mrmdmn nmin n mgkkaibigan prin tau KHIT PAPANO…n meron naman taung pinagsamahan khit papano…

J: Lam mo bie, it’s very easy 4 u 2 say kci magkakasama kayo jan.and pls don’t misconstrue my pagiging matipid as wala akong paki. Kci honestly, NAGHIHIRAP KAMI NGAYON!!!

Kya magaan loob ko sa ibang frends natin jan kci kahit d ako mktxt, andun pa rn ung warmth ng frndship nla. Sorry kung d ako makaTEXT ha. La po kci ako

pera e.

pls convey my happiest bday gritings ky maya. Im sori kung ganyan kyo mag-isip.basta alam ko, I hav bin and wil always be a great friend for the titans. Sori if u don’t feel that.

A: I din’t wnt u 2 feel bad, ja…ewan ko ba…I just wanted to let it out…n we were tokn bwt it last night…I din’t know na ganun ung situation mo eh…sumama lang loob naming. Bt you can’t blame us…I don’t want you 2 feel bad…

J: honestly, you already did. Go ahead and tell everyone 2 clear the air, if that would satisfy you. pasenxa na if I fail to kip in touch ha?! Pki sbi rn sa mga “sumama loob” sori…

A : I know y you’re thinking that way, ja. We’re not forcing you 2…just that…na explain ko na sau un…n I won’t go tell…ano ka ba?

Ja, I’m really sorry. Hindi ako (dpt) ngpdla sa nararamdaman ko about this…yan 2loy. Nagalit ka pa sakin.. malayo ka na nga samin…I’m really sorry, Ja. I din’t want to hurt you…really…


Actually Ayah and Maya din’t really feel bad about it. But I can tell, partly they are. But I’m the one affected by this. Mostly. Take out all the “kami, us, we”…change them into “ako, me, I…”

He can’t text us, but I’m sure he texts HER a lot…and they’re there together. All I wanted to say is that he should’ve at least remembered Maya’s 18th birthday. Just because he’s ---- centered, he should forget about US.

The “other” friends he’s saying actually feels the same way as I do. the only difference is that they don’t take it seriously. But I do. when it comes to him, everything’s serious. The anger that I feel is serious, too.

He just caused me a lot of pain. I don’t want him thinking about me the same way as he did to his exes. But then thinking about him feeling anger…towards me, it felt good. This might sound weird, but thinking about him being mad at me…I kinda like it. I don’t know why.

Haha. he even might be telling his girl : “everytime I think of her, I feel my blood rising..” OHMIGOSH! Haha! just exactly what he told me about his ex when we were together. Hehehehe.

I just think it’s funny that things are sorta happening again for him. Congrats. They’ve been together for 7 months now.

Right now, God forbid…but I’m still mad. I don’t know how am I ever gonna forgive him. God help me.