I got a text from Howard the other day telling me that ALL MY LIFE is somewhat a must-see. I have been joking my cousin about watching it, she goes " GOODLUCK SAIYO "... The next day, she goes..." Tara, let's watch..." And we did.

Gawd! My feet...it's all red. Schupid me, I wore my damn pointy shoes at schul today. *teehee*.... ;p

Anyways, back to the movie, like I've been telling everyone...it's not the typical filipino movie you'd expect! Honest! :D It's...a really nice movie...and pretty long as well... But it made me feel...what it's supposed to make me feel. Mmm... some of you might not get the same impression, and you might even find it so jologs. So what? At least I'm not shy to admit that I do like the movie. ;p At that last part I turned to my cousin and I asked her " Can I cry now? "...and she goes, " ABBIE!!!" ... hehehe. Eventually I did.

And my appetite has been going uhm... I don't even know what word would fit appropriately. But... let's say..I've just been eating A LOT. :D Mmm... :D

And I had another Venti sized, Lemon Passion Iced Tea! (khh khh)...

Ohwell... :D



Hehe. I just missed the biggest concert eva. (for me, that is.) Why on earth did I not think of buying the Black Eyed Peas' concert tickets before they freakin' got sold out?....Mmmm...

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is gonna be showing on the 2nd of June. I was wondering if Lance, Ben, Joyce and I could just meet on Wednesday then... :D Please, guys? Mmm..what do you guys think?

I'm tuned into MTV and saw a Guns and Roses Greatest hits endorsement. I grew up listening to them, in a way. Guns and Roses, especially Aerosmith,then there's ToTo, Stevie Wonder, Alanis Morisette, Enya, Cathy Dennis, Cindy Lauper, The Bangles, and how can I forget? Debbie Gibson. Gawd, I am one heck of a child of the 80's. :D Wla lang, just felt like sharing.

Hey you guys should get a HIPSTIR account.. Mmm...

And I am so damn bored!!

This afternoon was really weird! There's this nearby sari-sari store where me and my couzn went ta get 2 sachets of Head and Shoulders (lemon)... and we had our towels over out chests... haha! And we almost reached the end of our street looking for one! We ended up wit only one... It was just funny we were walking around looking like a bunch of lost children. If only you had seen us. Thank God you didn't.

Lance and I came up wit a plan. hehehe. It's our lil secret. *wink*



Yikes! Jologs ko noh? hehehe...but what can I do? He's really cute. ;p I never really watched Click but I do now...And that's cause of Warren! Hehehehe...


I've been wanting to blog since yesterday but nothing's coming out of my fingers. There's so much to blog about! Especially that unforgetable experience I had wit Eya! *khh khh*...

Mmm...it was raining stars yesterday...I mean actors. But y'know in a place like ATC you'd always find them there. And I'm pretty much used to it. I don't get starstruck no more... but if they're really HOT... i.e., Richard Gutierrez? Lucky Manzano? Warren Austria perhaps?... hehehe...

I had a bad dream about Andrew! That someone harrassed me in front of me then but then he didn't care! And I was right there crying in front of him asking him if he didn't care and he just gave out a shrug! What an A..- okay, calm down, Abbie it's just a dream. And besides, he does care for me... Does he? LOLZ! Kidding, baby...hehe...

We'll be going to Alabang tonight to watch Shrek 2. (Last full show...)

GUYS: Please pray for Ben's mum. She has breast cancer.

...Thanks, Joyce.

Thank God I found my CAP SAS form last night. That means I could finally pay on the 31st.

I'm pissed, Andrew's gonna take up swimming this sem. Imagine all the girls in their swimsuits and his eyes on them...and imagine all the girls' eyes ON my baby.... Mmm... Ohwell...is there anything I can do?

I bet both sides are gonna enjoy anyway...Mmmm... *sigh*...

Mmm...people can never be satisfied, eh? *khh khh*... okay. stop thinking about what I said. Hehehehe...

I miss my Baby... but ohwell... I have to keep myself busy...think of other things. Just like him. So that I won't get tempted to text him every single minute...or else...baka magsawa xa! hehehehe...

Otei...I'll go get ready...

I'll see y'all on the 31st.



…and I had another dream of Andrew.


Yesterday I had thought of my past. And how thankful I am for having gone through a relationship like that. A relationship that I might have regretted getting into at one point. But, if you look at it, even if it had made me feel like I might not really be worth loving and all, there was a reason why God got us together. We both learned. And now, we’re both happy. And not to forget the fact that I was happy being in it, as well. And I know he was too.

And now, I’m just plain thankful. Now I can tell that there’s a line between my past and my present.

To Ja, I know you’re happy…and you deserve to be happy. It’s nice to know that you’re still there, we’re still friends. Still here for each other. Like you, I’m wishing you and Deng the best… Thanks for everything, Ja…


I miss Andrew. I really like that pic of us, wit him kissing my cheek. Hehe. Check out my friendster photo.

I’m glad that Andrew has been patient wit me. I know he wanted to give up, but thankfully he didn’t. And I still have him.

There’s just this assurance that my Baby won’t do anything to hurt me. I trust him so much that sometimes it scares me. Don’t get me the wrong way. I know Andrew loves me. I feel really lucky to be that gurl he’s willing to fight for.

Otei. It’s 2 A.M., gotta hit the sack. I hafta wake up at 530! Gotta be at the schul early for enrollment…

I miss you, Baby. I’ll see ya on the 31st.

LANCE ... it's nice to know you got back safe. :D I missed you, man! ...



Whoa. It's been another tiring day. But then there were a lot of highlights.

The green magnet, well it looked really attractive! And it was looking at me,too. I felt like I was a piece of metal that just couldn't help but...be...attracted to it. It's weird. I've never been a "metal" for quite some time now...Mmm...

I saw the sky on my way home from Southmall late this afternoon. It looked really pretty, and it made me miss Andrew more.

AH! Watched Troy for the second time. Damn! Brad Pitt's ass is just... okay, I'll stop. ( HI BABY! hehehe...)

Yesterday, Ja and I had a very serious "talk"... but don't get me wrong. We just ironed things out. And now...we're both happy... :D I feel better. Hey Ja..thanks for the tag. :)

Andrew and I were supposed to meet today, I was wit my cousin and her friend, Ciarra at schul today. I had to accompany them...I was their official tour guide...


I have this... headache...and my legs just hurt a LOT. ( BABY!!! MASSAGE MO 'KO!...)

I'm working on a project...and I can't find the first letter Andrew gave me... ;S...





This time what I want is you

There is no one else

Who can take your place

This time you burned me with your eyes

You see past all the lies

You take it all away

I've seen it all

And it's never enough

It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away

Take me away

I've got nothing left to say

Just take me away

I try to make my way to you

But still I feel so lost

I don't know what else I can do

I've seen it all

And it's never enough

It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away

Take me away

I've got nothing left to say

Just take me away

Don't give up on me yet

Don't forget who I am

I know I'm not there yet

But don't let me stay here alone

This time all I want is you

There is no one else

Who can take your place

I've seen enough

And it's never enough

It keeps me leaving me needing you

Take me away

Take me away

I've got nothing left to say

Just take me away

Take me away

Take me away

I've got nothing left to say

Just take me away



Whenever I'm alone with you,

You make me feel like I am home again.

Whenever I'm alone with you,

You make me feel like I am whole again.

Whenever I'm alone with you,

You make me feel like I am young again.

Whenever I'm alone with you,

You make me feel like I am fun again.

However far away, I will always love you.

However long I stay, I will always love you.

Whatever words I say, I will always love you.

I will always love you.

Whenever I'm alone with you,

You make me feel like I am free again.

Whenever I'm alone with you,

You make me feel like I am clean again.

However far away, I will always love you.

However long I stay, I will always love you.

Whatever words I say, I will always love you.

I will always love you.



"Baby, grabe i can't believe 4 months na tau! M so happy tlg kc nlagpasan natin ung mga trialz 4 us.Lets not gv up on watever God had prepared 4us..M thankful after all that I still have u..Baby, I love you so much!"

"...Happy Monthsary! 4 months na? Grabe ah... :) dmi ngyari...Nakayanan natin! :) Mmm...I love you baby! :)"

“ :) Yeah, nakayanan natin. :’) M so happy 2 hav u n my lyf, Andrew… :) I’m glad hindi ako nbulag ng past ko…na hayaan kong hindi Makita ung kaya mong ibigay sakin. *sigh* Happy monthsary ulit, baby. I love you!..”

“ :’) *snif* ako dn…bti nlng d ako ngiv up…Dhl hgit p pla s ine expect k ung saya n mku2ha k… :) *sigh* Love you baby! :) “

Heheh…Lalang. I just felt like posting those messages we sent each other at 12 A.M. :D

It’s been 4 months since. But it felt like it was more than 4 months. Gawd, wit ALL that? *whew* You guys are not in the relationship, so you wouldn’t know what it actually felt like when one of us wanted to give up. But thankfully, we didn’t. *exhales*

I was at Villa Isabel today. And then I remember the humps, ( and I should thank God for the humps…hehe ) and how we got together. That y’all know about.

I remember that night when we got together, just as I was leaning on his chest at the doorway of Ed’s dorm…while Ed and I were talking…out of nowhere Andrew whispers “Mahal kita…” *goosebumps*… EEK! And then waking up seeing him there….*glares*… ohwell… :D

I had a talk wit Basil today…and he said he learned his lesson.

“Head over Heart…”

He explained and he has a point. It’s how things were for me. And look at me now. Mmm… I don’t hafta elaborate on my part…but partly, Basil’s right. It depends on the situation…

Hey George, you posted our pix! Hehehe… COOL! :D I told Andrew to visit your site so he could see what he missed. But then, like I said I’m thankful he wasn’t there! God forbid. Those gays in pink and baby blue t-back swimsuits. AH! It’s like…OHMYGAWD. “IT’S” ass is right in front of me. Ew.

It’s been a tiring day for me. Went to Manuela to have lunch wit my “classmates” at 10 A.M., got to ATC at 2 P.M., got myself another Lemon Passion and tea tree oil from The Body Shop, got home at past 3, went to that “resort” we own at Calamba, went swimming for like 4 hours, sang 2 songs in the Karaoke machine ( they were for Andrew! ), got home at 10 P.M. Currently watching HEY ARNOLD on Nick.

I can’t wait ‘til classes starts! I have so much plans… basta… :D

Anyways…goodnight guysth….

BABY! HAPPY MONTHSARY TA US! I love you so much….so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so

much. It’s actually more than that. Hehe.




TWO IN A MILLION by S Club 7. I would play that song in my room back in Jeddah whenever I fix my room or something. I used to like them. *tee hee*…Lately I’ve had a lot of flashbacks…memories of which trace back to when I still lived in Palawan.

Andrew borrowed some of my baby pictures…and when I got it back last Thursday, I had spent some time looking at each of them. And in one of the pictures taken on the bed, I noticed the headboard. It had my piggy banks, my Barbie dolls and jars. There are trinkets as well. And containers which had cotton swabs and balls. There was an altar as well. And beside the crucifix, there was this sign which had “rules” on how to have a happy marriage. I used to read them everynight, and as a child I would not really understand what each rule meant. But there was this one specific rule which I understood clearly, and my parents did set an example on. The rule said that an argument must be settled before “going to bed”… Yeah. It’s a must to settle things before going to bed…Mmm…

Okay, right now what I really wanna do is get out of this trip to mem’ry lane and get on a trip to ATC. Where I could grab a Venti sized, Lemon Passion Iced Tea.


Choel called me last night and he wants us to meet today at G4, to watch Shrek 2. Mmm. I would love to go, only if I had a car… :D Jayson, on the other hand celebrated his birthday yesterday. And I bet he’s really mad at me for not going. He said I had to go there so they could watch the high school videos. Well… watching them won’t do me any good. I’m just gonna miss Jeddah more. But then the main reason why I can’t go is because I had a very tiring week. Or shall I say the past 2 weeks have been reaaallly tiring! If I weren’t tired I would’ve gone. I mean, it is Jayson’s birthday…but ohwell… and what I really wanna watch is Dirty Dancing 2. Ayah made me love the first.

I woke up early today. Nanah woke me up, I was sleeping on my left side, then as I turned Nanah’s face was right in front of me. Hehehe. We both went out of the room, and the next thing I knew she was chewing on my pajamas. It looked like I was limping everytime I walked. I can’t do anything about it, especially when she’s still on my PJ’s whenever I walk. Cute dog. And, I also have a lot of red marks on my arms…she actually thinks I’m her chewbone. Khh khh. I can’t blame her, though. Hehehe.

Anyways.... This is all for now... :D I miss you guys!!!



Mmm... I keep thinking about him every single minute...Y'know what I just can't wait to happen? I can't wait 'til Baby and I would get to spend time together in the beach! Where we could just take a lot of pictures while we're both in our swimming outfits...when we both look HOT...hehehe....(i'm just trippin'..) and when we could just walk in the sand, holding hands...talking about...things we would usually talk about...our lives...our experiences...things that just make us laugh. things that we still don't know about each other...cus whenever I'm with him I never run out of what to say...

I can't wait for my Mom to meet him... :D

Andrew Kay Bautista!!! I miss you so much, Baby... I'm sad we won't get to be with each other on our 4th monthsary. But it's okay. I know...we'll be together when we celebrate our 1st year anniversary. God will help us get that far. We would even get to celebrate our first year anniversary of being married. Hehe. God help us. I know we could. If only we don't give up on whatever trial God have prepared for us just like we have these past few months, we're gonna make it. And for as long as we remain faithful to each other...in which I know we can.

*sigh*...Baby, you just don't know how much you make me happy...and how you make me fall deeper and deeper in love wit you... Grabe, mahal na mahal talaga kita.

I woke up at around 3 this afternoon, heard CRAZY FOR YOU by Madonna playing on the radio...then...I thought of Andrew...hehe. It made me smile. I am crazy for him...*tee hee*..

Mmm...ohwell...I'll just keep thinking about him... :D


I'm sorry guys... I just miss my baby so much... I know you feel me... :D




devil: ur eyes suck.ur nose,its not even pointed.u look weird.yuck.

devil: yuck i saw u again.. i hate u so much. ur like a thin smelly bamboo.yuck.mas bagay kame ni andrew.

Beautiful: i love you andrew.u just dont know how much. im looking forward of your break up with tha gurl. you do not deserve her.im prettier,model beauty

My gawd is that how desperate people really are today? Hehehe…I’m posting this cus it’s…funny. And I have a reply… this stinky bamboo you’re calling is the one Andrew loves. And as much as you enjoy trying to piss me off wit your tags, fine. I’m giving that to you. Tag me all those things as much as you want. Mock me as much as you want. I’m giving you that feeling. But you will never know what it feels like to be loved by Andrew. So…I think you know who’s the real winner here. Say anything you want to. :D And to “Beautiful”…who I also think is Devil…hmm… Andrew is not the type of person who goes after looks. Clearly, there are far more many girls prettier than me…and they might’ve turned his head, or catch his attention…he might have developed a crush on them…but that’s just as far as it goes. As far as “the packaging” goes…I’m the one he loves. I’m the one he accepted. I’m the one. You can’t do anything about that. And that goes for me, too. It has never been about just the way a person looks. It’s how the person makes you feel. I’m sorry you’re too shallow to actually see that.

Anyways… GOODBYE SUMMER!!! :’(

Hmm…all the good memories…I’ll just keep thinking about them for the next 3 weeks. It’ll keep me going. I just miss Andrew. *sniff*…

I can’t wait to have our pictures developed….Mmm… :D

Last night… Tom, Leah, George, Mark, Basil, Karl and I went overnight swimming at Volet’s. At first I really didn’t want to go…Thankfully, Leah forced me. But I really wasn’t in the mood of swimming. Eventually, after the comforting my Baby did… and the convincing of my friends… yep, you guessed it right. I went for it. Thanks, Leah. :D

I brought a picture of me and Andrew and it was in front of me while I had dinner. I was even talking to it. hehe. Funny as it sounds. But that’s how much I miss him. I still do. Mmm…Baby told me to think of it as…”it’s just 3 weeks anyway…” Yea. I hope it was that easy. But it’s good in a way. Cus we get to miss each other SOOOOOO much. Hehehehe. But the sad part is, on the 24th, we won’t be together. *sigh*…. We’ll be turning 4 months! YEY!!! :D It might be “just 4 months” to most of you but for my Baby and I? We’ve just been through a lot.

But ohwell….

Baby, if you’re reading this…mmm…thanks. :D You already know what I’m gonna say…hehehe… you take good care of yourself while I’m not around. I just miss you so much. I can’t wait to be with you again! (exagg ko ba? Hehe…) Anyways…yea. This makes the relationship stronger… I love you so much, Baby!!!! :D :D :D :D :D MMMWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!



A venti sized lemon passion iced tea + A great view + "Living" in Andrew's arms = *sigh*

Lately we've been spending a lot of time TWOgether. EEEKKK!! :D *kilig*...

Mmm... But there was this one time he got pissed at me...when I should be the one pissed! He knows I that I'm kinda...jealous tapos...he still keeps... UGH! hehehe...


We had a GURREAT time in Tagaytay...not to mention all those hugz and smacks... khh khh... :D it was a good thing we patched up while we were there. I don't wanna mess the moment up.

He's currently on his way home now. *sniff*...

Mmm...I really really would wanna elaborate more but... *sigh*


Tc y'allz.

I love you, Baby! It was hard letting go of your hand... I'll miss you. SO MUCH. for 3 WHOLE WEEKS... tsk tsk. Hope I'll survive that long!!! MWAH! ... Ang mata mo huh!!! hehehe.... LOVE YOU!!!



...Who is this devil? I just think it's funny she thinks tagging me wit stuff like this would affect me big time. Devil, i think you'd make a great stand-up comedian. You make me really laugh even without trying too hard!!! khh khh...

Anyways.... Gawd...it was the craziest week ever...

I wanna elaborate on all the crazy and sweet, unforgettable moments that Andrew and I had....but...No. :D

For once it's nice to keep things to myself... but don't get me wrong. Hehe. :D

Anyways...that's all for now. Andrew stood me up again. But...that's okay.



It's so hard to express how you really feel in a public blog like this. It's never easy to let out emotions which are...

I just don't know where to start. Where to put myself. What to do. How to take it. How to act. What to expect. What to think. Where to go. To whom will I vent out on. Whose shoulder to cry on. Who's gonna listen. Who's gonna understand.

I just don't know what's wrong with me.

I AM in-love. I am. deeply. but...

All i can do is cry.

God, can someone hear me out? And believe me that this is one serious problem? That I want to be solved?

Can someone just FEEL... that I need someone now. To be by my side. Someone who can listen. I'm crying for help, please.

The One person I'm expecting to care. Turned it's back on me. When that someone needed me I was there. Now that I need that company, it can't be given to me?

Please stop trying to make things okay coz it's not. Please stop trying to make me feel like everythings normal when i know it's not. Please stop pretending that none of you know what I am feeling. Please don't be insensitive, and don't use your pride on me. I need you now. More than ever. Please be there.

I just wanna explode. I wanna disappear. I wanna forget. I wanna...I just wanna.

I feel like I'm floating.

My soul's gone. It left my body. It cannot take the pain any longer. My soul gave up on me. Where is this all leading?

To all the people who hate my guts, I hope y'all are happy now.

I'm so sick of...this.

God, please take me away from all this. Or better yet,please take me.



I woke up and found my cousin watching the replay of the American Idol auditions on ABC. Haha. Thought it was freakin' hilarious.

Anyways, COOL. "Blogger Dashboard"..hmm.. it looks better...and a lot more user friendly...

I'll be going back to the dorms later, can't wait. But then I've been having zits...it's like I don't wanna show up ta anyone for the meantime. The thing is , Andrew likes it! UGH! hehe. Just because I make fun of him everytime I see that he has one, too... Ohwell.

I still haven't started typing any of the articles yet but..it's gonna be easy. I got a lot of sleep today, I'll have enough energy typing all 3 today. :D

Gawd, I can't believe it's MAY. Next month my folks are gonna be back here.... GAWD! I can't wait... MOOOMMMMY!!! hehe... And my Dad,too of course. I haven't seen him for two years now...

I jitter whenever I think of who's gonna win the May Elections. I'm praying it's ROCO but something's telling me FPJ's gonna get it...

...Mmm... I am PRO-ERAP but I just hope they give it to ROCO. I'm like SOOOO PRO-ROCO. GO ROCO! hehe...

..Otei, I'm watching the American Idol audition again... mmm..I love this show. :D


hehe..HINT: birthday presents! hehehe... KIDDING. :D

I'll see my baby laterz!!! hehehe...can't wait,can't wait,can't wait.

Here's a list of stuff I'm gonna get by June (when Mum gets back): *rubs hads together* I lurve doing this...hehe...Ope I get olla them tho... :D

1. A Philosophy Shampoo

2. A complete set of Origins (facial wash and moisturizer)

3. A Clinique soap and toner

4. Low riders from Seven and Levi's.

5. Pumps from Mango / Nine west

7. Basic Lacoste shirt

8. A bag from Mango

9. A top from A/X / Marks and Spencer

10. Lip Lacquer from MAC / Lipgloss from Bobbi Brown and Lancome

11. Havaianas Flips

12. Swimsuit from Tabu

13. Boardshorts from Billabong / Roxy

14. A SPA!!! :D :D :D

15. Skirts from Topshop

16. Perfumes : Clinique Happy/Happy Heart, Lacoste pour Femme, Still

by J.Lo...

17. A p900? *teehee*...

18. Sneakers...

19. MORE Topshop and Calvin Klein underwear!!! (hehe)

Haha! I'm not sure if I'm gonna get olla them...I'm just listing them down. Mom sez Pop is really thinking of getting me the P9. *crosses fingerz*... :D ... It's been a long time since I did major shopping... :D MOOOMMMMMYYY!! hehe. Of course,that's not the only reason why I'm happy that my 'rents are coming "home". I can't wait to hug them... Then feel like a daughter again. I might be turning 18, but when it comes to my 'rents I feel like I'm 12. I might have learned how to live wit them being so far but whenever they're around I just give up that independent person I've turned out to be and be their daughter again. But I think I'm blessed enough to have experienced this kind of life, knowing that I went through all that almost by myself. And I probably have ended up doing something really stupid, but...Ah. Forget about that phase of life I went through. Important thing is that I learned from it. And I learned how to open up ta Andrew... and he did, too.

Mmm...I can't wait for Mum ta meet Andrew... :D



I miss you! Happy Mother's Day... :D

Anyways, there's this line of a song that keeps playing on my head...

" 'Cause we're living in a world of fools, breaking us down, when they all should let us be...we belong to YOU and ME... "

*sigh*... People just don't get it, eh?? But it's cool it's sort of a challenge for us. I mean, I'm challenged and pissed at the same time, but... it's all good. Like I said, just as long as we both know how we feel for each other, that's enough, right?...

I have 4 articles to do for our newsletter... But it's all on my type of "field" so... there. I'm gonna enjoy writing them, except for the feature story, I hafta interview one of the school's "checkers" and I'll be doing one on Ms. Noi, too. ( CAD Sec. )

Mmm...the day has just started. I'll be going to church later this afternoon. It's been a while since I went to church. There's so much to pray and thank for.

This person who keeps sending rude messages to George is just like Devil. My say to George is: well, I think it's funny people do that. Some people even tag Karl. In my opinion, it IS funny and annoying at the same time because (as what George says) It's our blog, and we can write about anything...but the way people threat, mock thru tagging is just...funny. I mean, is that the only way they could say something ta us?... I don't know. But if I ever get to know who these people are, karma is gonna get them bitchslapped.

oOoo.. Everytime (Britney Spears) is on MTV. Cool Video... I liked this song way back January...Used to listen to it when I almost lost Andrew... hehe.. Lalang.

Erm... I'ma go eat breakfast now...

BON APPETIT to me! hehe...



Gawd, could you guys just imagine?it?s summer?and I haven?t even been to a single beach yet!?! HOW STUPID COULD THAT BE? I wanna go to a freakin beach!!!!

Mmm..the little voice in my head is actually saying something:


My Prof says you only need about 2,500 PHP to stay there for 3 days and 2 nights. It's not that much, right? And to think that we could stay there 2 days and a night, I guess.....

But I already thought it over, that on my 18th birthday, instead of doing the traditional thing I'd take my friends to Puerto Galera...IT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN!!! :D But Mom and I will have to talk it over. But I'm sure it's a pretty good idea. This only means one thing. I have ta head to NOTHING BUT WATER ta get a pair of Havaianas and some swimsuits! ;p I can?t wait. Maybe I could do it on the weekend. Since June 24 falls on Thursday this year, I might do it on a Friday night. But then isn?t that Leah's birthday? Saturday? isn't that Gail's? Sunday?isn't that Ayah's? Now what? ..Ugh. ako ung ipit. aww... *sigh* I'll just have to talk it over wit Mum...

I just have this one scenario playing in my head over and over. Mmm.. Me driving wit the wind blowing my beach hair, I'm my my tank top and a really short skirt, I got a tan, and I'm wearing this two toned (orange and white) Chanel aviator shades, red manicure, J.lo's "The remixes" playing on the background, and I could still feel the sand in my Havaianas flips, wit Lemon Passion Iced tea on my left hand, AaAAh! That?s life, right? :D

Now,I WANT A CAR!!! ;s

And I'm in dire need of a spa ;s



To the "person" who tagged this...

devil: i hate you abbie..trying hard ka masyado!! di ka maganda

devil: watz ur illusions about andrew? how come u dnt kno we hav a son hu luks vry mch like him..poor abbie

INITIAL RXN :*yawn*...But I'm gonna say something anyway...

Just like I said...You're the one who's obviously trying too hard. I don't care if you tell me stuff like I'm ugly and all that shit. Uhuh. I might be ugly but I have Andrew. And we love each other. That's all I need to know. SO, if you're THAT desperate...I'm sorry...it takes more than that...or should I say, NOTHING'S GONNA BREAK ME AND ANDREW APART. You'll hafta live wit it, honey. There's so much more I wanna say but I guess it's just not worth it. I'm not as cheap as you are to say something. Gladly my parents didn't raise me that way. But I just wanna justify that no matter what you're gonna say...it won't change anything... :D :D :D Oh, if you wanna tag more, go right ahead. I don't mind. :D

Anyways, on a MORE SENSIBLE side (hell yeah...)


Gosh, the feeling just can never be expressed. I feel...confident. contented.

So...this is what LOVE is supposed to feel like... :D

So I guess to all the girls trying to steal my Baby away from me...Mmm... WE (WE = my baby and I) would love to watch you try... (or maybe not..hehe..) LATELY however, I do think it's funny whenever someone makes parinig ... Hmm... How desperate. Yeah. You are trying too hard. But what really sucks is that all they can see is my Baby's physical appearance! But it's actually a good thing 'cause if they get to know him better they'd end up feeling the way I do. Now, I don't want that to happen.


For having him in my life... :D I might just sound like Casper... " CAN I KEEP HIM?"... Hehehe...

Deym, I really want this to work! ... I mean, I really do. And I do still feel scared of what could happen... I DON'T...wanna lose him...

Baby, don't leave me!!! .... (lolz...)


I wonder if Shopwise already sells EVIAN... *tsp* *tsp*...



I was on a ride home and I was thinking about Andrew the whole time. And then I thought of the things we do when we're together. When we just sit, talk and cuddle...I'd tell him about my childhood, and he'd tell me stories,too... and then we'd just laugh about the stuff we tell each other... and then in between our conversations we'd just stare at each other and I'd smile at him...then his hand would rub on my back...then the times he'd hug me and he'd feel my tummy...the times when he'd lean on my shoulder then gimme this really tight hug...then I'd feel him breathing on my neck...and then we'd just sit there...talking about how we feel...

He changed a lot. And it just feels good that he's learned how to be more open when it comes to how he feels for me. I just love it whenever he tells me how he feels.

And then it hit me, on that way home. While I was in the van with PINK BUNNY in my arms. How I just love telling him stories, and how I love the way he always listens to me even when he's really tired and sleepy... I could do that. I could wake him up when it's sunrise...while we're just lying there...and then I'd just tell him my thoughts...and then he'd still listen... and then I thought of how happy I really am with him...and then all those... just started to make me cry.

For the first time in my life...I cried with tears of joy over a guy.

Hey, don't find it weird. It's just how it really is. I'm not just in love.


But what scares me is how it's gonna be when we graduate. But...I'm thinking way to far ahead...and I told him that. So we'll be taking day by day, one at a time.

Andrew Kay C. Bautista...Baby, if you ever get to read this, I love you so much, Baby. More than you ever know. You are the only ONE person that's ever made me feel this way, and I'm praying that you'll be the ONLY ONE. I thought I have experienced and felt LOVE...maybe I have. BUT it's different with you. This is just the best feeling in the world. I dunno. It just is.

And I noticed, whenever I have this "tampo" thing, when I get really pissed and feel like crying...I'd start to keep quiet, then he'd make "lambing"...and that's it! I'm okay! I don't know what it is with him, that just makes me...WEAK! I hate it and I love it at the same time... it's weird. But I love it. :D

AAAHHH! If there could only be a way for me to totally express myself...I'd do that. But it's just hard...

"...You do make me happy. :) I know you think that you don't. Pero, masaya ako. Being with you..Hugging...Kissing you...Kasi mahal kita! :) Sino bang hindi masaya sa mahal? :) "...

... :') ....

*sigh*.... :D



Yeah. Just PLEASE back off...

That's all I wanna say... Back off...Back off...Back off....



Gawd, my swimsuits are stocked up in my closet. It's summer, HELLLURR? Aren't they supposed to be...errm... WORN? I cannot stand the heat! Although I have been pretty much used to it since the temperature in Jeddah is HOTTER than this. *tee hee* :D Well, I guess I've adapted to the Philippines...


Today, a waiter at McDonald's spilled coke on my white top...perfect... But, I woke up on the right side of the bed today, so...no biggie. I didn't want anything to spoil my day, although if you look at it, it is... Deym, could it be any more boring???

...I miss Ed and Karl... ;S

and it's so hot in this net cafe so I guess I gots ta roll... :D

I got another pair of vintage earrings...long ones! and I mean LONG! hehe. I like the feeling of the ends of the earrings touching my shoulders. *tee hee*... otei... I can't stand it any longer, and I'm alone... so... I'll...catch up wit ya guys laterz.

I'm enjoying my INTRO TO JOURN CLASS!!! :D :D :D



Ah. This is how it is supposed to feel like. This is how it’s supposed to be. Things were back the way they used to. Andrew brought me back to life. Brought me back my “light”. This is how you define being in love. No more sappy interchanges. I’ve matured when it comes to handling relationships. And he changed, too. I might have expected a lot from Andrew in the beginning but it’s because we don’t really talk about our problems openly. It lead to lesser understanding towards each other, why we both act that way, etc. But now we do. I can’t wait for us to share more stories with each other. We are like, so open… soooo open. I hope we could get to talk about more stuff…and spend more time with each other. Next week we’re planning on going to ATC to spend another 2 hours talking there. :D It’s fun how we get to do that. Alalang. *kilig* :D

And I quote this text I sent to Maya:

“ Whenever I look at him, I have so much running in my head. How lucky I am, and that I have been secretly hoping…and praying…That this is it. I wanna be with this guy…4…ever. Although I have been denying it and I’ve been scared by the thought, I can’t help it. I just love him so much. Now I feel like thanking Ja for dumping me…”

:D which is true, though…hehe. When you get to meet him don’t judge him ‘cause he’s young, doesn’t talk that much…just because he came from a seminary and all that. There’s so much to Andrew than all that. And I got to see that lately.

MY HOME is in his arms!!!

And guess what? I’m in that stage where I find myself smiling just thinking of him. Actually, when I took my nap this afternoon I had a dream. I don’t know if you can call it a dream because it felt so real. Anyways, let me expound on that. we were sitting on the stairs. The stairs looked similarly like the ones of La Buena, they looked archaic. Stairs that are made up of stone, with plants on every other step. The stairs looked like they were leading to a loggia or something. It was sunset. The sky was in it’s most semi dark orange shade. Which made the entire setting so…amorous. I was walking towards him, and we were talking about something I can’t really remember. And then I leaned forward to kiss him. It was just a smack. (The kiss we would normally do whenever we’re around other people. A very decent kiss. The kiss we would give each other before he goes to class and leave me in other people’s company. *KILIG* AaAh!!! :D ) and then I looked at him and smiled. I woke up and found myself smiling. :D But it felt real. Wish I had more dreams like that.

It’s the way he does things… and he might not be that expressive, but when he says something, you know he’s telling the truth. He didn’t even give me any promises. I used to think that he should at least give me one for assurance. A promise that he won’t leave me. But he said something that not all guys would say. That he’s not a psychic to know what’s gonna happen. The only thing he could assure me is that he loves me and that he wants it to work, just like me. And that we’re gonna try to make it work. At first it made me doubt. But then I realized. He loves me and he doesn’t want me to expect anything. Because I might end up getting hurt just to meet with the expectation. With the promise that he gave me. What a mature thing to do.

“Swerte ko nga meron akong IKAW…”

“...d ko malalaman kung gano pala kita kailangan”

“D na kailangan…buti nga di na ako dumaan sa iba. Sayo na kaagad…”


God, I pray that this would last. Because I really do love him. If only I could explain. But I can’t. I feel like exploding! Like I could get a heart attack or something. Y’all can never understand…and know how much I love him…

Ja said “I’ve never been this happy before…” (pertaining to his current girlfriend)… here’s my version : “ I’ve never felt so excited, so scared, so loved, so lucky, so confident ,so unaware and so sure all at the same time. And I won’t trade this feeling with anything else in the world. “

I just want this to last forever. God, I pray it would. I pray we would pass through all the trials you made for us together. And if either of us would wanna get out of this, please remind us that we were brought together for a reason. Please remind us of the love we both have for each other. And that we said we wanted “US” to work. Please remind us of the plans we have for our future, and how we are willing to wait for that moment to happen. Please remind us that we both know we deserve each other.

I don’t know what else to say. But I’ll leave you with these words :

You just have no idea. :)