Ah. This is how it is supposed to feel like. This is how it’s supposed to be. Things were back the way they used to. Andrew brought me back to life. Brought me back my “light”. This is how you define being in love. No more sappy interchanges. I’ve matured when it comes to handling relationships. And he changed, too. I might have expected a lot from Andrew in the beginning but it’s because we don’t really talk about our problems openly. It lead to lesser understanding towards each other, why we both act that way, etc. But now we do. I can’t wait for us to share more stories with each other. We are like, so open… soooo open. I hope we could get to talk about more stuff…and spend more time with each other. Next week we’re planning on going to ATC to spend another 2 hours talking there. :D It’s fun how we get to do that. Alalang. *kilig* :D

And I quote this text I sent to Maya:

“ Whenever I look at him, I have so much running in my head. How lucky I am, and that I have been secretly hoping…and praying…That this is it. I wanna be with this guy…4…ever. Although I have been denying it and I’ve been scared by the thought, I can’t help it. I just love him so much. Now I feel like thanking Ja for dumping me…”

:D which is true, though…hehe. When you get to meet him don’t judge him ‘cause he’s young, doesn’t talk that much…just because he came from a seminary and all that. There’s so much to Andrew than all that. And I got to see that lately.

MY HOME is in his arms!!!

And guess what? I’m in that stage where I find myself smiling just thinking of him. Actually, when I took my nap this afternoon I had a dream. I don’t know if you can call it a dream because it felt so real. Anyways, let me expound on that. we were sitting on the stairs. The stairs looked similarly like the ones of La Buena, they looked archaic. Stairs that are made up of stone, with plants on every other step. The stairs looked like they were leading to a loggia or something. It was sunset. The sky was in it’s most semi dark orange shade. Which made the entire setting so…amorous. I was walking towards him, and we were talking about something I can’t really remember. And then I leaned forward to kiss him. It was just a smack. (The kiss we would normally do whenever we’re around other people. A very decent kiss. The kiss we would give each other before he goes to class and leave me in other people’s company. *KILIG* AaAh!!! :D ) and then I looked at him and smiled. I woke up and found myself smiling. :D But it felt real. Wish I had more dreams like that.

It’s the way he does things… and he might not be that expressive, but when he says something, you know he’s telling the truth. He didn’t even give me any promises. I used to think that he should at least give me one for assurance. A promise that he won’t leave me. But he said something that not all guys would say. That he’s not a psychic to know what’s gonna happen. The only thing he could assure me is that he loves me and that he wants it to work, just like me. And that we’re gonna try to make it work. At first it made me doubt. But then I realized. He loves me and he doesn’t want me to expect anything. Because I might end up getting hurt just to meet with the expectation. With the promise that he gave me. What a mature thing to do.

“Swerte ko nga meron akong IKAW…”

“...d ko malalaman kung gano pala kita kailangan”

“D na kailangan…buti nga di na ako dumaan sa iba. Sayo na kaagad…”


God, I pray that this would last. Because I really do love him. If only I could explain. But I can’t. I feel like exploding! Like I could get a heart attack or something. Y’all can never understand…and know how much I love him…

Ja said “I’ve never been this happy before…” (pertaining to his current girlfriend)… here’s my version : “ I’ve never felt so excited, so scared, so loved, so lucky, so confident ,so unaware and so sure all at the same time. And I won’t trade this feeling with anything else in the world. “

I just want this to last forever. God, I pray it would. I pray we would pass through all the trials you made for us together. And if either of us would wanna get out of this, please remind us that we were brought together for a reason. Please remind us of the love we both have for each other. And that we said we wanted “US” to work. Please remind us of the plans we have for our future, and how we are willing to wait for that moment to happen. Please remind us that we both know we deserve each other.

I don’t know what else to say. But I’ll leave you with these words :

You just have no idea. :)