Ah. I remember reading that french word in one of the magazines I bought and I was sharing it with Kristine, a friend of mine over a frapp at Starbucks. We had just met up with "Big A", as I called him, he was a Talent Manager, and we were supposed to do a VTR the next week. I wasn't supposed to tell my Mom about it, but being the "best buds" that we are, it felt so difficult for me to keep a secret from her, so I told her, hoping she'd let me. Unfortunately, I had hoped too much. She told me a line that I had already memorized... " Finish your studies, and then you can do whatever." Gaaah! Moms and their lines.

Today I paid my dentist a visit...It's been a LOOOONG time since I last visited her... and she gave me some news. I don't really know how to feel about it... but she said, we might just put my braces back on... hmm. I was kinda excited 'cause I somehow felt that teeth still needed to be "lined properly". My dentist said my teeth were fine, only that the lower ones are "crowding" that we just MIGHT put them back. Mmm... but the thing is, it would be hard...I mean, the maintenance and all and...I would find it hard eating the food that I like OUTSIDE. *sob*... but then thinking of the effect afterwards... :D :D :D

Finally, Ms. Copycat got to her senses (after my friends sent her messages, practically cussing her...haha!) and she took my picture out. She din't reply to my messages though. Thanks to my friends. Ban and Maya to name a few. They told me themselves that they have...cussed her. Haha! Mmm.. Glad that was over.

My Baby texted me this morning saying "Love you..." Okay, probly most of you would say, "Uh, so what?" but actually...for me, saying "I Love You" out of nowhere is just plain romantic. And besides, nothing beats reading something like that in the morning. :)

Gawd, I need to get a new studio picture...


Back in 1998, my Mom would LURVE to play that game on the computer. I'd sit by her on weekends, watching her play, and help her too. But what I'm talking about is something else.

I'm talking about the family feud that never ends. It doesn't involve me. It's between my Uncle and my Grandmother. Yes, it's between the mother and son. Something that all of us have gotten used to.

It's hard not to have a side. But I'm supposed to do that. I'm not supposed to pick a side. I couldn't make them get along. My role is simple. To listen to both their rants.

My Uncle would usually vent out on me when I'm in the front seat of the car. Let's say, he just picked me up from the dorms and we're on our way home, he'd tell me his reasons of being mad and I'd understand him in a way. Then, when I get home my Grandmother would find the perfect timing for her to vent out, when everyone's in the room, we'd sit by the dining table and she'd tell me in a very low voice. And I understand her reasons for being mad, too. They don't fight most of the time, but there are times when things go out of the way and you hear screaming.

It reminded me of my parents sometimes. But they barely fought when we were in Jeddah. But whenever they do, my Mum would shut up, and she'd let Pop say all these harsh words. She says she does it to save things from getting any worse. I always admired her for that. I always wished that I had the same strength as my Mom.

My Mom's my hero.

I hate it when people shout at each other, especially when there are kids around. That makes them traumatized. I've had my share of experiences. I always thought to myself, "I wouldn't marry someone like that..." But I bet my Mom din't see it coming.

That's what's scary about marriage. Who knows, one day you couldn't live without each other, and after a couple of years, you couldn't live with each other. But...Gaah! That's just me and my paranoid self. As always. I think of things way too much.

The way I see it though, if ever Andrew and I would get married, things won't get that worse. We settle things through talking. We talk, we don't scream. (Actually I do. hehe. Like, when I'm totally ticked off or something.) It's my outlet. He let me do the talking first, then I hear his side out, then we clear things out, and we're okay. That's how we do it. Sometimes he even laughs at me when I burst out with furiosity. I just talk non-stop, and I have all these sorts of hand gestures, I even jump sometimes, and he'd end up laughing at me. He'd tell me how cute I look when I'm all red and angry.Grr. But hey, I only do that when we're the only ones walking our way out ta Dinner. But when he's the one who gets ticked off? Good luck sakin! Haha!


I called out.

"Please give me someone who would listen to my stories and react to them? It doesn't matter what you give me, I'm in dire need of one. Please make sure they'd be interested in the things I'd say...I need someone who'd interact with me verbally right now. Right now,in person. Someone my age, Someone really fun to tell stories to...Please? "

Gaah. I think I'm going crazy!

Mmm... Where is my Fairy Godmother by the way?

Maybe I need to see more normal people. Damn, I din't meet up with Basil, Ed and Karl today at ATC. I had to go to church. Basil called me, he was making kulit as usual, he always does that to me. He said they were going to ATC and he was forcing me to go. Unfortunately, I couldn't. Sayang. Miss them already.

I miss my friends back in high school. I miss Ayah and Maya. I miss hanging out with Choel and Arjaenelle. I miss Ja, too. I mean, he was a great friend. I miss Najmah. I miss Moi and Kurt. I miss Taten. I miss Leslie. I miss T.G. . I miss Jim. I miss my teachers. I miss Strell Ann, Sarah Jane and Dianne. I miss Carlo. Ban your name din't come up 'cause we basically go to the same school, y'know. Hehe.