SOMEONE PIRATED MY FUCKING PICTURE.



And that's something not to be proud of. I am deeply offended.



If you're lucky enough to see, check out her friendster account: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=12777166



I just sent her a message asking her why is she using my picture. Seriously. I am so pissed off right now.



THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID! I mean, HELOU? She has the guts to steal MY picture...and she sez she's from ADMU, HEEELLLOUU?



I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE.



I've just been from CAP... and before that I came from school... Whoa. Cool, eh? Good thing is, I met Choel at CAP... I had to wait for like, 3 long hours before my number got called. Whoo!



Ugh.



DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.



I'm dealing with certain issues. And no one is helping me but myself. Today Choel noticed how quiet I was. Usually when I see my friends I'm the one who never stops blabbing about this and that... But today I was just there sitting next to him. Although I was psyched to see him again, later on I just shut the hell up for reasons I cannot explain. But I can sorta figure 'em out.



1.) A family problem that people around the house seem to ignore, and get used to. Well, I get affected by it everytime I step in the house or something. And I have been dealing with ignoring it lately. But still... it's there.



2.) Can that day come that my Mum would text me, simply asking me how I'm doing, am I okay...cause whenever she texts me, there's this certain pressure that I should ALWAYS, always answer her questions as soon as I get her text. And she asks stuff about things like...have you paid this and that? did you call up mama? have you taken your vitamins? how much money do you have left? we r u? y aren't you picking up? text your father asap about the details. reply now. Ugh. I am just so sick of it. I want my mum to make me feel that she misses me too. Not that she's texting me just to ask all those. Really. I feel bad. That's why you can't blame me if there are times that I feel lazy or sumn replying to her texts, coz it's all the same. She always wants to know what's up with this and that, not even wondering how HER DAUGHTER is doing. Is she still breathing? How is she? Did she eat well today? How did her day go? No. It's not like that. I know it's hard for her too...being apart from me... but... *sigh*.



3.) What is it with people not showing me that I matter to them? Like when SOME people ignore your text? Like, you tell them things that just popped out of your head, funny things that happen... You feel like sharing them, and you get nothing! Not that replying is a must, just that you expect a certain reaction to what you've just said. Okay, HE might be busy... but can replying to a text waste his time, to wherever he's using it on? Ex girlfriends, yada yada... You can't compare this sitch to my Mum, coz I never ask him too much things anyway. This has been going on for like a few days now. But I guess I should understand. I mean, he hasn't gone home in months. I'm just his girlfriend anyway.



4.) Me not loving myself. This one has pretty much gotten into my head. And it has really, really bad effects. If I loved myself things shouldn't have lead there... maybe I was thinking of myself last. Which was wrong. But I know I do love myself. Just that, I don't want myself to be taken advantage of. Because if it ends up there again, no one's gonna be there to pick me up. But me. Well, what do you expect? I'm the last person who can leave me. And I don't wanna go through that phase again. Because that would be stupid.



5.) When can people pay attention? Or am I just feeling this because it's sembreak... and I don't see too many friends anymore. The people you expect to care wouldn't "show up" 'til late night. And yet they still expect you to believe in whatever they say. I might be stupid, but I'm not dumb enough to be fooled.



6.) I'm alone again. I feel so empty. Shopping won't help. A frapp won't help. Sleep won't help. Eating won't help. Crying won't help. Venting out won't help. Hearing a friend won't help. Wait. God can help. He's the one I always turn to anyway. In my bathroom, I just cry there. and it helps. Weird, innit? I talk to God in my bathroom. What am I saying? I am NOT alone. God is there, and he will ALWAYS be there.



So I'll shut the hell up and talk to him. Goodnight.



p.s.

If you wasted your time reading on this, THANKS a lot. Advice : call someone you feel like talking to right now. You'll never know how she's feeling.

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