Okay, I admit. I speak bad French. But thanks to my trusty French Dictionary, translate them literally and you’ll get what I’m trying to say.

Funny how fast this year is ending. And since I’m making it a trad ta do a LE ANN FINN RAPPORT at every end of the year, here’s my report for the Year 2004…

January 2004

I love New Years. Though making resolutions just never work for me, I prayed instead. I lit up those Chinese firecrackers (Fortune, Happiness and Success) and somehow believed that I would get them this year – and I did. The first month of the year turned out to be very…very odd. Somehow because I’m seeing a new side of myself. This was the month when Andrew and I got together. It was a beginning of a new chapter of my life. It was partly difficult to break the news to everyone, but I just had to since they will know, sooner or later. This is also when I start to deal with those biatches (who still don’t get what “taken” means) that they still can’t lay their fucking hands off my boyfriend.

February 2004

The month of LURVE. Hah. Tell me ‘bout it. It was this month when I first got my bouquet of flowers and a huge stuffed toy (which was pink, and it was a bunny – really cute. and scented too! Although my Baby kinda chose the wrong scent. Not that it was bad, just that it reminded me of someone else. Anyways…) from Andrew. It was sweet though, how it was done. They called me to the guardhouse to meet them up there, and when I went there I found this really huge bouquet of flowers and a paperbag with a tag and it had my name on it. Next to it was another bouquet of flowers for Charlene ( Karl’s lady ), we were giggling and stuff. Later on, out came Andrew and Karl. He held my hand and he was even hugging me (take note, while there were guards around). It was unforgettable. I got so *kilig* .

March 2004

Ou. This month. I felt so bad about missing him terribly, it was before summer had started. I guess this month I have realized of how lucky I am with what I have. And then this month is when Maya and my cousin Chi celebrated their birthdays on the 26th. Oh, and how can I forget that day we spent at G4, and we even watched Wave 89.1’s free concert at this open field just right in front of Oakwood. I remember witnessing the TIMEZONE sign burning. So cool. Oh, and that night at Eastwood. I had a cosmo, and we were dancing like crazy. Well, they were. :D I had spent one of the most unforgettable days of my life with my sisters Maya, Ayah and my close friend Leslie. We definitely had a blast. Wait. That’s an understatement. Spent overnight at Ayah’s place, but we weren’t prepared for it so I got some cash and got this tank top from Mango, underwear from Topshop and shorts from People are People. GROOL! Haha. Next time I’ma do that again. *wink*

April 2004

Probably it was this month when I start to step on rocks on the new road that I’m traveling. Probably it was when I was starting to realize that Andrew wasn’t completely ready being in a relationship with me, since he’d still write testimonials with words like “Mwah” and all that crap to other girls even when we were together. I could still see him show interest in other girls. He’d still text people who he doesn’t know back, and it was pretty harsh because I had to go so much convincing that I could go through it. And the hard part was that I was doing it alone, and then I start thinking about being a dupe. A dupe of my own knife. Which is plain stupid. No. it’s dumb. The dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my WHOLE life. Something that I would regret for the rest of my life. But then again, because of that – it brought me closer to God.

May 2004.

Ah. The month I’ve realized I’m finally over my past. Everything was grool. We were having a great summer together, we talked ‘til like 3 AM at the dorm’s gate and the security guards wouldn’t really mind, this was also when my affair wit Lemon Passion Iced Tea started. Usually, after class, Andrew and I would hit off ta ATC and spend our afternoons there. It was also in this month when Tom, Leah, Drew and I went ta Tagaytay. Had merienda at Starbucks and then dinner at Hen Lin’s rooftop. We were on a double date, so what do you expect? Cuddling galore. Haha! And uhm, some things we did there, let’s just leave it ta me and Drew, eh? :D Also, that time when we were at ATC ‘til 11 pm, then as we got ta Ed’s dorm we decided ta go ta Tagaytay, where I heard Drew sing in a karaoke machine for the first time, and it was a traumatizing experience for me. Haha! :D then we got back ta Ed’s at 5 something, and I like, slept in Drew’s lap for 30 minutes, but it was the best ‘coz nothing beats sleeping with Andrew staying up the whole time trynna “make all those bugs go away”. Nothing beats sleeping in Drew’s arms. Haha! The cheesiness.

June 2004.

Hold it. This was the month that I was born, and I was turning 18. and turning 18 had to be one of the most unforgettable things that could happen in a girl’s life. But it turned out to be totally the opposite for me. But still, something good came out of it. It was also this month when both my parents surprised me. It’s like, I was just talking to both of them over the phone yesterday, they’re like a thousand miles away, and now they’re here…right next to me. And this time, I just didn’t see them speak. I saw them speak. Now, like I said I was turning 18. I would really have wanted to celebrate it the trad way. But I didn’t, and I wanted the day ta be special, and I wanted it to be MY day for once. I’ve always celebrated birthdays with friends and all. Now I just wanted it for me. So I went on a huge shopping spree. I would never forget about that shopping spree. Which didn’t end in one day, by the way. For two days I was proud to say I had it all. Name it. MANGO. NINE WEST. TOPSHOP. CALVIN KLEIN. MAC. CLINIQUE. LANCOME. NIKE. NOTHING BUT WATER. STOKED. DEFECT. VIA VENETTO. ISSEY MIYAKE. (I had bought Issey’s limited edition of L’eau D’Issey D’ete, in which I also bought one for Drew for his birthday, and I really love that scent on him.), and the list goes on and on, and how can I forget? My p900. :D

July 2004.

This was the month when Drew, Tita Dinah (his mum), My mum and I had lunch altogether. It was really cool, seeing them make beso beso and all that, and how they easily bonded with each other, and have an exchange of stories about Drew and I, our lives and all. And it was so nice how the topic of discussion came with a phrase that I will never forget from my Tita Dinah, “sabi ko nga, pag nagkatuluyan ang dalawang ‘to…” Wow. I was moved. I’ve never met a Mom who was so supportive of her son being in a relationship. Tita was really nice to me. But that’s not just it, when my Mom and I got back to the dorms, she told me something that Tita whispered her. Something really nice, something that I prayed would happen too. Something that made me want to cry with tears of joy. Hmm. This was also the month when Mom had to fly back to Jeddah. It was sad. When they were about to drive off home, my Mom and I had a “moment” before she got to the car (her flight was the following day), we were both crying our eyes out, and she even managed to put humor into it. Clearly she was just trying to make things easier for both of us. She said, “next time, we’ll be buying waterproof mascara.” I should’ve added “next time it should be from Shu Uemura, not Clinique. “ But I guess I was just caught in the moment so bad that I just nodded and hugged her really tight.

August 2004.

For the first time in the history of mankind, Andrew skipped two of his classes to be with me. This was also the month of his birthday. Which, by the way turned out to be really weird and all, but it was all good. Enough said.

September 2004.

KTS. MR. CET. Ohmygah, everyone was screaming whenever he came out, and it really drove me crazy. Girls were crazy, and they kept taking pictures of him. I have it, caught on video. At KTS, when I helped him dressed up backstage, the girls were like, “Oh my God, ayan na siya!” and then when they saw ME help HIM undress they’re like, “ Ay…” and I thought to myself, “Sorry girls.” And then he said, “ Pasensiya na, Baby.” Well… is there anything else I can do? Mmm. MR. CET was less pressuring than KTS, and I’m speaking in terms of “girls”, but I had to go back to the “dressing room” everytime he had to change his outfit, since I was his P.A., and it felt good. And he really was grateful for it, and he proved how much later on. :D it was on that night we finally found our very own constellation – in a shape that takes form of a diamond – something that lasts forever. And how can I forget that overnight swimming?

October 2004.

Ah. Well, what can I say about this month? This was when I saw more of Andrew. :D I guess this is where he really showed me how much he loved me. And he really does love me so much. Guys like him are so rare. *sigh*… Need I say more? Aeh?

November 2004.

SO many changes. Both easy and hard to deal with at the same time. Then we really just spend SOOO much time together. This month we were just soooo inseparable. And then I realize how much faith I have in us. This is when we both start being so sentimental with each other. I mean, in a good way. We just don’t care anymore, y’know? We just get so comfortable with each other. We do things in front of each other and not mind anymore. It’s so freakin’ cool. Yes. So many changes. It wasn’t easy going through all those stages just to get to the good side of the change, but… it’s all good, baby.

December 2004.

It’s so sad SATC will be ending this month. I watched Sarah Jessica on Oprah and I cried with her. I may not have watched it from the very beginning, but I have reached Season 1, and I have been an avid viewer so it also saddens me. Andrew and I argue about so many things. Sometimes in my fault, sometimes it’s his fault. And then I get so over-sensitive and I tend to make things bigger, and sometimes he tends to be so self-centered that he only thinks about himself. We both know about it, but still we accept each other for who we both are. And he told me “…so let’s not be mad at each other anymore”. I’m praying for that. I’m really praying we get through it. As the year ends I thank God for all the blessings and the trials he gave me. And for the strength to go through it. God has been so good. God has always been good. God will always be good.

I just always try to remember the good things that happened this month. We both became so vulnerable – so exposed to each other. We just get…so emotional.


I still couldn’t believe that it’s almost been a year. Thinking of all the things I’ve been through, I always thought it’s been such a long year. A really long one for me. I couldn’t believe I’ve been through ALL THAT in a year. I’ve finally become Alice, and I did get to Wonderland – but it wasn’t the Wonderland that I’ve always expected. At first it was full of chaos. And then things just get better. Things go that way, don’t they? Alice went through that too, didn’t she? I never really liked Alice. But then I realized – I have ALWAYS been Alice.