MY QUANDARIES.



Often times, when a thought pops into my head, I hear Carrie's voice narrating it. It's so weird. It felt like I was SO into the show that I always felt like I have this co- ... nevermind.



As for the title, here it goes : People, no matter what age will always find the silliest reason to cry over something. Whether it's something that might've hurt us emotionally, physically. We all have our weaknesses.



I get so... vulnerable at times. And the thing is, when I get hurt, I tend to say things that I feel at the moment, but not really mean. I just did to Andrew. I know it's something that's gonna pass, but it's one attitude I really want to change. I just hate it whenever I feel like whatever I'm doing is just... not enough. That inspite of everything, I get this. But that's just my paranoid side talking.



Funny thing is that it got to me so much that I looked like this child, faced down on my pillow, staring at the wall and crying my eyes out. It did help. Crying always helps. It's an outlet for me. The only thing that makes me cry harder sometimes is that I always do that alone.



Ohwell.

0 comments:

READ, DON'T SKIM.



It might have been the cause of all these misunderstandings.



If you were mad about what I said about ALEXANDRA, and you might've thought I was saying something against Atenistas, well you're wrong.



What I actually meant to say was, she used my picture, her grammar was wrong, and THEN she says she's from ADMU. If you actually took time to understand the sentence you'd get my point. It's as simple as this: I meant to say she was a fraud. Because if she really was from ADMU she wouldn't be having problems with english. Now, if this is what you're all furious about, then I might have made my point clear. But if it's something else, well I don't know what you're talking about. It's your problem. Basta ang alam ko, wala na talaga akong ginagawang mali.



ON HONEY'S ENTRY...



That was really nice of her to say something like that. We almost had the same experience pala. But the only difference is that he broke up with me because he was having a hard time dealing with LDRs.



Haaaay. She made her point so clear. Basta. It just felt nice that we barely even know each other, and she has this effort to make me forget about things I shouldn't be thinking about. It's like, even if I didn't know her that well, I could trust her. Really. I really appreciate all this, Honey. And of course, for sharing your story... :)



REALITY CHECK!



Sembreak's almost over. Gaaah!



And I'm putting my tagboard back. Thought about it. Whatever. :)

0 comments:

IT'S A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.



I meant Sembreak. 'Cause I get to meet really nice people. Like Honey, for example. Though we've met only once, we communicated through tagboards, sending messages through friendster, and now we text.



And about this tag... Mmm... I was just reminded of why I liked the song FIGHTER so much by Christina Aguilera.



To ABBIETCH, kewl name! I should use that too. Uhm, I'm sorry if you were one of the anal women. Sorry if I offended you. But darling, I'm not a slut like you and I guess that's just how liberal and OPEN MINDED I am about talking about stuff like these in my blog. Someone has to be open-minded, right? Thanks for sharing your thoughts, by the way. MWAH!



Honey... here's ta us.*cheers* Haha! :) Mwah!

0 comments:

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHOSE HAD ANAL SEX…



…come join the club.



Okay, please. Before you make those eyebrows meet, it’s not what you’re thinking.



I just got this invitation in Friendster from one of those “groups”. But this one, was a group for women who’s had Anal Sex. Okay, I’ma say this. For those of you whose had anal sex, I am not saying anything against you guys, but…ME? ANAL - Oh please.



I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel getting such an invite. Probably if you “look at the bright side” (is there?) they must’ve thought of me as this hot chick, and that I’ve probably “gotten it on”, but HELL NO! Hey, even if I’m a liberal chick, I won’t join. What would people think of me then? I would join for kicks if I knew everyone at friendster, and they know that I’m not that type of chick and I’d join in just for fun, but nooo. They don’t. And besides, not everyone would find that respectable. People who know me all too well would describe me as someone who can be green minded, but I don’t go too far, FYI. I’m just open wit my guyfriends mostly, about “green stuff”. Haha. My boyfriend and I even joke about stuff like that.



Another thing that struck me was when I checked it out and found this pretty girl's picture, and it looked like it was pirated too, since the face doesn't really fit the way she describes herself.



Anyway, if you’re one of those who’s part of this…group, then, my hat’s off to you for having such guts. You’re the bomb! ;p I totally have nothing against other people who is part of it, and who has done it.



All I’m saying is, I’m not that type. Point taken? Hope so.



ON THE LESS VULGAR SIDE…



I miss everyone at school. I miss my dorm. I miss my dorm mates. I miss eating out everyday. I miss JFH. I miss the "people of MPR". I miss my Baby. I miss my classmates. Grr. I wanna get out of here.



THE 411 ON HOW I FOUND OUT...



That my picture was pirated, was when I typed the friendster address, it opened up to Alexandra's account. REALLY. It was really weird. It's like I had ta check everything from her messages, and the thing is...I WAS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY stupid not to delete MY picture from her account! I just went to view her profile, looked for her email address, LOGGED-OUT (STUPID ME!) and logged-in to my account, and searched for her...and VOILA. I found my picture there. Ohwell... I might as will follow Honey's advice. I tried talking to her already.. I mean, I sent her a message... still no reply.



That bitch is gonna pay. BIG TIME.



WHAT ABOUT EXES? YEAH? WHAT ABOUT THEM?



Really. What is it about them that just makes us...boil? It's an issue I would really want to talk about. It kinda excites me, 'cause I really, really have a lot to share on this topic.



We just can't get if off us, can we? Or that could just depend on the kind of ex our current boyfriend had.



It's so hard to deal with the bitchy type of ex. Make that the bitchy/slutty type of ex girlfriend. If she's outta her head she'd make a way to reach you and make up stories about her and your boyfriend, how they got all nasty and shit. She probably still wants YOUR guy, so she's doing everything in her will to break the two of you up. Please. Don't be a victim.



There are exes who has agreed to them being friends. And of course, your guy would believe that. So he wouldn't mind if they would text 'as friends'. But little did you know, SHE has this hidden agenda. She could try ta get him to like her again by being this sweet friend of his. Ugh. Pathetic.Girls and their dirrrty little secrets. Though I don't do this to my ex, 'cause I've been through enough time of moving on, in which I did. And we both are currently happy with our lovelives. It's good to have him as a friend now. At least we still ended up as good friends, ryt?



There are exes who'd make friends with you. Wow. Now this is sooo weird. Although it still depends on the kind of ex your guy had. Some are open with it. But believe me. Girls can tell. We have this 6th sense. Who's a bitch, and who's a bigger bitch? It's so easy to tell. Although we aren't always right, we can tell. 90% of the time. Guys are just too blind to see that, I guess. Anyway, his ex could be friends with you for two reasons : She really just want to be friends with you or She wants to be in YOUR shoes. (again) Okay, even if you're the nicest person on earth... making this move is a BIG decision. The best thing to do, is stay out of it. Enough said.



Exes who'd still say "I LOVE YOU" on testimos. MAN, that has got to suck. Really. Okay, we all know that they were a part of your man's life, but that's just exactly the point. WERE. She should try putting herself in your shoes. I'm sure she'd want to take the eyeballs out of his exe's sockets ala Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 2.



Ugh. Exes could be bitches, believe me. Just to get your guy back. And if they ever appear in your lives ( God forbid )... Simple. Drop the I'm-Ms.-Nice-Girl act, and kick the living hell out of her.



JOKE! Although, you CAN do that if she gets on your nerves. :)



Talk to your guy about it. NICELY. And then kick the living hell out of them.



Okay, Okay. I'll calm down. It's just that I really do hate the idea of other girls messing wit my man. That includes ex girlfriends. Sure, they can be friends. As long as they take out the sweet attitude. Because that would really mean something else.





0 comments:

SEMBREAK?



Ugh. The only break WE ALL need is a JASMINE TRIAS BREAK! I read Ala's previous post, and she is SO right. We've had SO much of her. Print ads. Mtv's. Posters. Magazines. T.V. interviews. Gigs. She is literally ALL OVER the place. Just like Heart Evangelista. Ugh. It's like everytime I see her, I give out my best "not again" face, and would secretly say that I would kill myself if I'd get to see her face plastered somewhere I turn. Unfortunately, as I turned to the left, there she is again. Grr.



PUH-LEASE! More girls deserve that kind of attention. Like, Iya Villania! THAT'S a pretty girl. And she doesn't have that "I'm-a-star-so-buzz-off" kinda aura. That is SO different from artists who just put their limits. Ya'mean? *tss*



But of course, Jasmine Trias is someone we should all be proud of. I mean, she "made" it. She's a star back there as well. G Toengi has been trying so hard to get the press to like her. But it just never worked, din't it?



Sorry if I offended anyone. Just speaking my mind.

0 comments:

SOMEONE PIRATED MY FUCKING PICTURE.



And that's something not to be proud of. I am deeply offended.



If you're lucky enough to see, check out her friendster account: http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=12777166



I just sent her a message asking her why is she using my picture. Seriously. I am so pissed off right now.



THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID! I mean, HELOU? She has the guts to steal MY picture...and she sez she's from ADMU, HEEELLLOUU?



I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE.



I've just been from CAP... and before that I came from school... Whoa. Cool, eh? Good thing is, I met Choel at CAP... I had to wait for like, 3 long hours before my number got called. Whoo!



Ugh.



DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.



I'm dealing with certain issues. And no one is helping me but myself. Today Choel noticed how quiet I was. Usually when I see my friends I'm the one who never stops blabbing about this and that... But today I was just there sitting next to him. Although I was psyched to see him again, later on I just shut the hell up for reasons I cannot explain. But I can sorta figure 'em out.



1.) A family problem that people around the house seem to ignore, and get used to. Well, I get affected by it everytime I step in the house or something. And I have been dealing with ignoring it lately. But still... it's there.



2.) Can that day come that my Mum would text me, simply asking me how I'm doing, am I okay...cause whenever she texts me, there's this certain pressure that I should ALWAYS, always answer her questions as soon as I get her text. And she asks stuff about things like...have you paid this and that? did you call up mama? have you taken your vitamins? how much money do you have left? we r u? y aren't you picking up? text your father asap about the details. reply now. Ugh. I am just so sick of it. I want my mum to make me feel that she misses me too. Not that she's texting me just to ask all those. Really. I feel bad. That's why you can't blame me if there are times that I feel lazy or sumn replying to her texts, coz it's all the same. She always wants to know what's up with this and that, not even wondering how HER DAUGHTER is doing. Is she still breathing? How is she? Did she eat well today? How did her day go? No. It's not like that. I know it's hard for her too...being apart from me... but... *sigh*.



3.) What is it with people not showing me that I matter to them? Like when SOME people ignore your text? Like, you tell them things that just popped out of your head, funny things that happen... You feel like sharing them, and you get nothing! Not that replying is a must, just that you expect a certain reaction to what you've just said. Okay, HE might be busy... but can replying to a text waste his time, to wherever he's using it on? Ex girlfriends, yada yada... You can't compare this sitch to my Mum, coz I never ask him too much things anyway. This has been going on for like a few days now. But I guess I should understand. I mean, he hasn't gone home in months. I'm just his girlfriend anyway.



4.) Me not loving myself. This one has pretty much gotten into my head. And it has really, really bad effects. If I loved myself things shouldn't have lead there... maybe I was thinking of myself last. Which was wrong. But I know I do love myself. Just that, I don't want myself to be taken advantage of. Because if it ends up there again, no one's gonna be there to pick me up. But me. Well, what do you expect? I'm the last person who can leave me. And I don't wanna go through that phase again. Because that would be stupid.



5.) When can people pay attention? Or am I just feeling this because it's sembreak... and I don't see too many friends anymore. The people you expect to care wouldn't "show up" 'til late night. And yet they still expect you to believe in whatever they say. I might be stupid, but I'm not dumb enough to be fooled.



6.) I'm alone again. I feel so empty. Shopping won't help. A frapp won't help. Sleep won't help. Eating won't help. Crying won't help. Venting out won't help. Hearing a friend won't help. Wait. God can help. He's the one I always turn to anyway. In my bathroom, I just cry there. and it helps. Weird, innit? I talk to God in my bathroom. What am I saying? I am NOT alone. God is there, and he will ALWAYS be there.



So I'll shut the hell up and talk to him. Goodnight.



p.s.

If you wasted your time reading on this, THANKS a lot. Advice : call someone you feel like talking to right now. You'll never know how she's feeling.

0 comments:

BORN TO DO IT.



Hell yeah. This is what I'm talking about. Finally "Le Maquette" is living up to it's own name. This is it!



My blog is now in hues of Black, Gold, White and Pink. What an odd combination. But even if it's classy ta look at, I don't want people to miss my kikay side. This blog is ME. And this is what I was born to do.



It's still not done yet, though. I still have to crop those pictures in pink. And fix the banner template. And put pictures of me in black in white, set-up in the 60's. Pearls. Red Lipstick. Preppy Skirts and Cardigans or a Tube Dress. Brooches. Oooh! *glares*...



But so far, it's all good. Couldn't believe I did this all in a day. Hehe.



Mmm... aside from all this...



I have again, fallen into another Emotional Pit. Yes, another Emotional blackhole. It sucked me in for no reason. I'm guessing it's because of my lack of sleep. I have not been feeling well. *grins*



You know those days when you just feel depressed all of a sudden... for NO reason at all? Yeah...I got that today. Jeez. But I know it'll pass. Caloi told me so.



Choel, Caloi, Marvin... you guys... thanks for calling me up! :D I missed talking to you guys, too....Mmm. *smiles*



Ohkay, gots ta roll...get some rest...







0 comments:

UNDER RECONSTRUCTION.



Ah! I finally found the perfect way to spend sembreak without feeling like I'm wasting my time - fixing my blog! This isn't final yet, I'm still working on it. Dang, I need to install photoshop. Thank God for Ms. Carillo.



Anyways, gotta go back to work. Just thought of warning you guys what I'm up to before y'all freak out or look at it disgusted or something...just watch out for the final touches... *wink*



Wish me luck!!! I hafta install ADOBE asap! Gotta work on the images. This isn't how it's supposed to look like. For the meantime, since I hafta prepare for church, I'm leaving it messed up like this. Pagtiyagaan nyo na muna. ;p

0 comments:

WALKING ON THE SAME PATH.



Hopefully I'll be walking in it with the same person as well, 'til we like reach 50 and we're using a cane or somethin.



Aah. It's 3 A.M. and I'm still up. It's our 9th monthsary today. Wow! And it feels like more than that. We really have been through a lot, but I can still remember it like it was yesterday.



But Drew and I, we're on a whole new different level right now. Really. You guys just have no idea.



Last sem we weren't able to spend much time together (except for dinner), but thankfully, he made it up to me lately, like spending almost most of the time with me. He would even skip class just to be with me.



It was lately that he has really proven to me how much he loves me.



Here's ta us, Baby. Happy Monthsary. I love you.





0 comments:

I DON'T WANNA GIVE MY MIND A REST. IT'LL STOP FUNCTIONING!





This entry is about "saying what's in mind". Most of them are nonsense, I mean give me a break you guys, I don't have a life lately. Thus resulting to most days spent in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking of the most nonsense things. You couldn't even imagine. Time is wasted on daydreaming ,hang-overs (the ones you get from sleeping too much), and channel surfing. And due to the remote control's busted batteries, I get so lazy getting up and channel surfing manually, I get stuck into one channel : MTV. And thanks to MTV, I finally get a better LSS. It's better than Jumbo Hotdog being sang by Franco. Whew. So, if you have a life just like mine, don't read this. GO BACK TO BED!





BABY IT'S YOU

Jojo feat. Bow Wow

Can somebody explain to me

Why everbody is tryin' to be livin' like a celebrity

Doin' what they see on MTV

Ice is cool but I'm looking for more

Simple things is what my heart beats for (cause that's me)I

don't ask for much (baby)

Having you is enough[chorus]

You ain't got to buy nothin'(it's not what I want)

Baby it's you

We don't have to go nowhere(it's not what I want)

Baby it's youIt's not 'bout what you got

I know you got a lot

No matter what you do, you always get it hot, it's you (it's you)

Baby all I want is you

It don't matter that your car is fly

And your rims are spinnin' on the side and

It don't matter where we go tonight

Cause if I'm with you

I'll be all right

That's cool, but I'm lookin' for more

It's your love that my heart beats for (cause that's me)

You don't have to spend a dime (baby)

I just want your time



It's the song that keeps playing in my head. I still cannot believe Jojo is.. 13. I mean, her music is better than Hilary Duff! Like, she sings like she's 17 or something. Cool. I admire the way people their age do things nowadays. Like Joss Stone. Now that's my soul sistah. Singing like she's a lass of 20 something. Whoo.





Anyways, If there's anything important I wanna say...well,I'm giving a shout-out to my friend, Joyce. Who has been reading my blog, and she's been texting me... Joyce, is one of the people who never stopped encouraging me. And she's happy when I'm happy. She's really sincere, and I can see that. No wonder Ben loves her so much. I'm glad I met her. Thanks Joyce, for everything you said. I truly appreciate it. MWAH! We'll meet up one of these days. I'm sorry I don't reply at times. There's just so much going on. Sembreak na, and yet there's still a lot of things going on. It sucks.





Grades. Mmm...they're all good so far. I'm such an ass to pay less attention to my minor subjects. Like, Techwrite and REED. But hey, they're all good. Thank God.





THE ULTIMATE

Lindsay Lohan

You're the kind of friend who always bends
When I'm broken
Like remember when
You took my heart, and put it back together again
I've been wasting time with clueless guys, but now it's over
Let me tell you why
I'm through
I've met someone new
Who's just like you
You're it, you're the ultimate
It's automatic, I'm sure of it
No lie, so don't even tryTo tell me, that you're not the guy
'Cause I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it, you're the ultimate, you
You're the kind of guy, whose hands and mind
Send shivers up and down my spine
You took my heart, and put it back together again
You're the kind of guy that blows my mind
But now it's my turnIt's been right in front of me
Everything I need
Why didn't I see
You're it, you're the ultimate
It's automatic, I'm sure of it
No lie, so don't even try
To tell me, that you're not the guy
'Cause I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it, you're the ultimate, you



Ever since I've seen Freaky Friday, which was just this month. (Bummer, I know.) I couldn't get enough of the songs. I so love Lindsay Lohan.I've been doing nothing lately but sleeping and eating... Ugh. But even if that's all that I do, my mind still keeps bothering me.





What is it with girls posting pictures of them in their bras in friendster? I mean, doesn't it bother them that other people could like see their rack or something? Well, if you look at it in a liberal person's perspective you'd say :

Okay, it's not like guys (even the ones you don't even know) haven't seen one before, but they could be proud of what they have, and since they DO have it they just want to flaunt it.





Okay, WHAT AM I SAYING? let me cut you guys some slack...I'll quit the nonsense.





I bet someone screamed " HALLELUYAH! "...





But you know one thing that really ticks me off? People with bad english. Okay, I don't see anything wrong wit Filipino. So if you're not good at English, or you probably missed most of your English Classes and you didn't learn the basics back in Grade School...please, Dahling, forget about it. Or you're gonna make a complete fool out of yourself. Pinoy ka! Magtagalog ka nalang, mas rerespetuhin pa kita. Sorry if I've offended some. But believe me, I could be saving your ass. But if you insist, I suggest you take English class. Get a tutor or something.





And you know what else?... there have been so many people belittling me. Look at me like they're 6 feet tall or something. But there are those who keep pushing me to do what I believe I can do. And though most of the people wanting to hurt me have succeeded... mark my words : I WILL. You might have kicked my ass today. But I will fight for my dreams. And for what I believe I am supposed to do. And I'm pretty sure when that day comes, you'll still hate me, and you'd say that I don't deserve to be where I am. But you know what? YOU CAN JUST KISS MY ASS. It won't be easy getting there, but I will. And you can just kiss my ass. Til then, I am willing (already numb) to accept whatever y'all say about me. Lahat na yata binansag na saakin. Malandi, Maarte, Pangit, at kung ano ano pa. Pero sige lang. Kung yon ang ikasasaya nyo, ibibigay ko sainyo yon.





Besides, whenever that happens Andrew would always "catch" me. He never left my side. Although there were times when I felt that he was missing, he just didn't know what to do. But he always manages to make it up to me. Thanks, Baby.





SATC just ended. I SO love that show. I sure am gonna cry after watching the season ender. I watched Oprah when the four of them guested, and I felt how sad Sarah was. I cried at the final epi of Season 5. It was weird. And whenever the screen goes black and the credits start rolling, I just give out a sigh and say : " Ugh! the show isn't supposed to end!" I cannot get enough of it. Shows like this are supposed to run for more than a decade! And guys should watch it, too. They write the best scripts ever. I am SO collecting all 6 seasons on DVD, God help me.





So much for tnyt.





I LOVE YOU, BABY!!!

0 comments:

October 14, 2004/ 12:24 A.M.



THIS IS IT.



Life at it’s best. So far.



If I knew things were leading this way, then I’d have to say that all the pain I have gone through was worth it. Everything was worth it. ANDREW IS worth it.



God knows, we just CLICK. Ionno, but that’s just how I see it. It feels so good having him by my side. And I wouldn’t mind “feeling good” for the rest of my life.



This is it. Life at it’s best. This is how it’s supposed to be. This is how relationships are supposed to be. This is how it’s intended to happen. I know because I could feel it. I know because it feels like God has been whispering into my ears. Life can get better. It is, and it still can.



I’m dedicating this entry entirely to THE MAN in my life (of course, next to God and my Dad).



Baby…Andrew, this one’s for YOU.



First of all, I would want to thank you for coming into my life. I can still remember it like it was yesterday, when we had our very first walk together to the school rotonda and it was past 7 P.M. on the night of September 24, 2003. Before that all we did was give each other casual HI’s and wave at each other or something, but after that conversation we started texting, and we grew into being good friends. We’d hang out at the e-house ‘til curfew, we’d look up to the stars, and we’d sit by each other on the sidewalk, just talk about stuff. You’d take me to class, remember? I remember the first time you did I was so nervous, but I managed to get through it without letting you notice. *wink*



And then it grew into something else. At first I didn’t want to assume that you were, but you were. That time it was pretty much complicated, and when you couldn’t stomach it anymore, you told me that you had to stop. But then I didn’t let you. Eventually, I let it slip. I told you that I liked you back. But then I started acting silly, giving you the cold shoulder and all that, which made you think I was playing you, but I wasn’t. Guess I just wasn’t ready for getting into another relationship that fast. But it was stupid of me to think too far ahead.



And because of that, you stopped again. But this time, you really did. When I started to accept it, take hold of what’s really happening, I decided to walk through that path of my life again, when I lost what could’ve possibly been a relationship. But, you made me do something I thought that I would never have the guts of doing.



We crashed at Ed’s that night and we were weird on each other, but we “TALK” (if that’s what you call it…) and then they both teased us about you and me getting into this yellow bike together. And unexpectedly, we did.



The rest is history.



Life starts from there.



Things were okay at first, we got by each day, but all the conversations we have are shallow ones, but it was okay at that time, we were just starting… funny I could still remember how I’d walk out on you, but you wouldn’t mind, or how you’d ignore me whenever we fight, and when we almost broke up because of…well, my being stupid.



It wasn’t the best months of our lives but we gladly got through it.



And I can see, from time to time your love grew deeper and deeper for me.



8 months felt like a year. I guess that’s because we’ve been through A LOT. More than most couples who have been together for a year or so have. The things we have gone through, mostly the bad ones have made us the strong couple that we are now. And I’m thankful that you haven’t let go.



Baby. Thank you for the man that you are. Thank you for all the things you have shared with me. Thank you for making me the person that I am now. For inspiring me. Thank you for making me learn how to be patient and understanding. You can see right through me, Baby. And most of the time you read my thoughts. And so do I.



YOU ARE MY MATCH. We form a puzzle. And it’s how it is.



We just have so much in common, and we connect in SO… SO many ways. And I have been feeling this for the longest time.



You’re all that I need, Baby. And there’s just so much to say but I can’t write them all down.



Thank you. Thank you, Baby. For being the man that you are. For not being shy of showing me who you really are. And I just love the person that you are. I love you, I love you for your imperfections. I love you, I love you just the way you are.



Baby, even if you have changed A LOT. And you have always changed for the better. You’re making me cry again.



Thank you for all the sacrifices you did for me. For still wanting to be with me even when you feel SO sick…for all the little things, I may not be able to always tell you but I really…I really do appreciate everything you have done for me. Whether it’s a simple peck on the cheek, the back rubs…I couldn’t elaborate it’ll take a lot of time…hehe.



There’s so much to say. But I’ll have to tell you that personally.



I love you so damn much.



YOU’RE IT, BABY. YOU’RE IT.



Oh and, if it isn’t much to ask…stay with me? For the rest of our lives, please…stay with me?



October 18, 2004/ 6:43 P.M.



MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY… BRUISED UP.



“C’est La Vie” as the French would say …but they all happen for a good cause, don’t they?



The things we do, the things we say… after those we all have to face such consequences.



October 21, 2004/ 3:17 P.M.



HAVAIANAS ROCK.



They're my footsies' new best friend! It used to be sneakers... but yeah... havaianas rock.



Right now I'm in this net shop just near our house...



A total of 3 weeks of not seeing my hubby... Mmm...



Grabe...so much has happened these days, leaving me speechless.



*sigh*....

0 comments:

IN DIRE NEED OF SLEEPING PILLS



Maybe a punch in the face would do.



It’s 1:20 A.M., I have to get up at 8 A.M. because class is at 9. Aah. The beauty of dorming in. You can wake up an hour before class starts. Hehe.



Spent almost the whole day with Andrew, we met up for lunch at around 1:10, and we didn’t separate by then. We just kept talking and talking and talking after we ate, and we didn’t notice that it was like, 2:20, and his class is at CTH, when we had lunch at brejanah. Thing is, it was raining. And even if I had an umbrella…



Drew: *looks at the time* Ay, good luck..

Me : Bakit? *looks at the time* Ah… *smiles*

Drew : ‘Di na! Di nalang…

Me: Huh? *glares* Oo! Cge, watch nalang tayo ng movie!

Drew : *looks at me real long* Sandali…

Me : Nagdadalawang isip ka noh?

Drew : Physics yun eh! Kaya lang last meeting na namin ngayon eh..

Me : O, yun naman pala eh! Wag na! *smiles even bigger*

Drew : Sana wala kaming quiz…pero feeling ko wala…



Actually this took longer than it seems but it ended with…



Drew : Delikado talaga pag kasama kita eh… galling mong mag-tempt!

Me : *grins* Ako pa, you don’t have to tell me, alam ko na yon! *giggles*

Drew : *smiles* (and says something like) Nadadala kasi ako pag kasama kita eh…



Haha! Another bola. :D



After watching the movie ( OPEN WATER, which, by the way actually top-notched my list of “The worst movies ever made in the history of movie production” *snorts*) we were just roaming around, from the 2nd, to the 1st and to the ground floor of SM Dasma (at first we were looking for shoes, he wanted to get white ones, particularly from K-Swiss. ) we passed by this aisle that was full of children’s clothes, and I’m like, what are we doing here? And he answered “Wala, para sa anak natin”…



AAWW! *kilig*…



Then we passed by this aisle full of cartoon character merch, and he remembered those shoes that had wheels on them and he said, with much regret, how he should’ve been in his youth just to be able to skate around with those, because he found them really cute. I laughed. How cute.



We ate dinner at Greenwich. We were checking our cellphones for messages, and it always freaks him out to see whether his classmates texted him or something. And then I looked at him, with this “I-figured-something-out-look” and said…



Me: Siguro hindi na nagtaka yung mga classmates mo kung bakit ka absent no?

Drew : Siguro nga. Alam na nila yun. *pauses*..Alam na nila kung gaano kita kamahal.



Haha! ANOTHER bola. :D



…From that time we spent together at OCC just talking about our lives for HOURS, we have learned how to be more open to each other. I’ve learned more things about him, and I can say so did he. Wala na talagang hiyaan. Best part is, we accept each other for whatever things we both have gone through. He told me about his past relationships, the girls he courted, how he did them, and I told him mine too. From my very first puppy love, to my first heartbreak. And we both ask questions! And it feels good to know that he was interested to know more about me. And I love knowing more about him, too. At first it felt so hard because we both didn’t really have common friends now. Someone to tell me how he is, in someone else’s point of view. Although it does help, nothing beats hearing things straight from his sweet ‘lil mouth. We do things comfortably in front of each other. And I just love the whole set-up. when he doesn’t care about how he looks, and when I tell him about it, he’d say : Ikaw lang naman eh! and then he’d smile. At first it made me think “???” but then I realized that’s just how comfortable we are with each other now. we both don’t care! And I know that when my hair’s messy he’d just run his hands through it, and say it still looks okay, and when my mascara is all smudgy, he’d still tell me how pretty I look. It’s not in the matter of making bola but for me it’s just his way of…y’know, giving me the confidence. He’s given me so much of that. And I know that he still does look at other girls. LOOK. It’s all he does, and though it did affect me at first, my Mom told me, “ Anak, God gave him eyes! I still see your father look at other women, but it’s normal for them to do that, it’s how men are! At least you know you’re the one he loves “ , and she was right. She was SO right. Andrew would say that even if he sees other pretty girls, for him no one would beat me. And I bet none of you would agree to that, but as long as my Baby finds me pretty, your opinion DOES NOT matter. Haha! Sorry for the attitude but it’s true. Not all guys would agree to that, and I’m sure of that. But, like I said, I DON’T CARE! :D



And besides, beauty cannot just be found on the physical attributes.



God has been, still is, and will always be good to me. Thank you, God. For giving me all this. Thank you God for giving me Andrew. Whatever I have gone through, it was all worth it. If I knew I was going to have this, I would still want to go through all of the pain and the suffering I have been through before just to get to this. Thank you, God. For giving me Andrew. Right now, I just feel like the luckiest girl alive. No, I’m not exaggerating. I really do. And I’m praying this is something that’s gonna last.



God, I feel like crying again. Andrew is the first guy who’s ever made me cry tears of joy.



I love him so much.



AT PARA PO SA ULAT PANAHON…



I was a “weather girl” for News Production, we have to do this News Program that runs for 30 minutes. Thank God I was assigned to do weather, since the news was in tagalog, and I’m one certified bulol . Rona really deserved the part (of one of the main anchors, along Franco ) since I do admire the way she delivers. ( Hi Ron, if you’re reading this! Hehe..)



I rehearsed a lot, and believe it or not, I just felt more confident this time. I remember the first, and it felt like my heart was thumping it’s way out of my body. Thank you, Sir Palad. *smiles*…*grins* I’ll miss him.



Gawd, I gotta hit the sack, It’s 2:07! Good grief…



(6:32 P.M.)



WHOO! It's been a REALLY long day. I typed that at like, 2 A.M. and woke up at 8. Talk about having a rough day and having 6 hours of sleep. But, in irony to that, it still is...ALL GOOD.



And I'm gonna miss Sir Palad. *sob*...



Ohwell...so much for today. We all did one heck of a good job.. :D

0 comments:

SAVED BY THE BUTT.



I read an article in this one teen magazine, and they conducted a survey on what guys really prefer (sort of) and most them said something like " Okay lang saakin yung girl na hindi masyadong malaki yung dibdib, basta may butt siya..."



*whew* ... hehe. For a girl like me who's physique is petite...well, I like my body the way it is.

Thing is, I was saved by the butt! MY butt, that is.



I was never a fan of big boobs. No, don't get me wrong. I mean, of course for women who were very blessed to have them, good for you! But... I have never gotten to a point in life where I wished I had bigger boobs. I guess it just wasn't much of a big deal for me. Like I said, I'm happy the way I am. *smiles*



Thanks Baby, for making me feel confident about myself although we tease each other sometimes. That you guys don't want to know about *giggles*



(Andrew, my Baby by the way loves giving me compliments, and though it sounds like bola sometimes, he always tells me it's true, and I believe him. :D )



Ohkay, so much for the boob talk.

0 comments:

OH-SO-INDEPENDENT-ME.



It's actually weird how it can change from one minute to another. But I love it whenever I'm in the mood of... cleaning.



I mean, hello? No one's here to take care of me, so I'm supposed to pick up after myself. ( Is there such a thing? ) But yeah, ever since I dormed in La Salle, I have learned the art of being independent. And I SO love it. I mean, I get to do anything that I want! *giggle*



But under that I have also learned something about myself. I have the power! The power of self-control. Ionno. It's not that I'm boasting or anything, but I guess I have learned how to balance so many things. And I have fun, too. I still get to go attend parties, study, have time for my friends, my guy, and I have managed to keep myself from vices. I mean, normally a teen who actually has all the freedom she has will try (and will be tempted) to try anything and everything she ever thinks of. Thus exercising what she thinks is "absolute freedom".



One thing I love about myself is that I can handle saying (or I simply CAN ) say NO. Drugs, smoking, drinking, and the most talked about moral issue: Pre-marital sex.



And I'm still considered COOL.



But hey, I do drink occassionally. But I don't do it whenever I'm super low or something. I mean, I do joke about drinking 'til like we drop on the floor, but I don't do it.



And I overcame every trial by myself, but my friends and Andrew are always there to help me, too. But it still feels good knowing that I have done it because...



...because of my faith.



Andrew explained things clearly to me, and I understood them completely. We're back to normal now. Thank God, we're even better. I love you, Baby.



To the people reading my blog, thanks for tagging. I really do appreciate it. :)



p.s.

the background's gone! :S I forgot to upload it to my ripway account. ARGH! HELP!

0 comments: