a.k.a. My “I-might-as-well-use-my brain-so-it-wont-stop-functioning” past time.

Wonder # 1 : What if we had this life editing machine?

Sometimes I wish my life were like a movie. In movies, people who don’t know how to drive can easily pull it off because of their dire need to. Like, for example when they’re being chased by a group of appalling, cloaked men in black with guns and their only escape is to drive a car but the catch is that the main character doesn’t know how to drive, but then in less than a minute – they can drive. And catch this : they don’t die. No matter how many possibilities there are.

What's the point? I wish it was that easier in life, too. When we all could just get away with things.

Not just in this case, but oftentimes I just wished that I could take out the things I wanted to remember least.

Don’t we all?

But we all know the reality that without all the bad things happening in life, we just wouldn’t be the strong people that we are.

Anyway, it’s just a thought.

Wonder # 2 : Why is having faith so hard?

I guess because it’s Holy Week I’ve come up with another thought about Religion.

I guess it’s because I was raised being this God-fearing child and all that that I couldn’t help but wonder why is it so hard to believe.

Non-believers always have this way of questioning about so many things. They all want proof that there really IS a God, yada yada.

People say “As long as you accept God, and have faith in him…” God will always be there.

God isn’t asking for all our time, he’s not asking we go to church everyday to show how religious we are and how much faith we have in him.

God’s “requirements” isn’t as hard as the final requirement that we had to pass for our Cinematography class.

All that God asks is that we believe in him. Follow his ways. In that way, we are assured that we have a place with him when we leave this place.

Most people are afraid of death. But I guess what we really should fear is what’s gonna happen AFTER death. Where do we go?

The only thing that dies is our body. Think about it. Our soul can still experience life afterwards.

It’s not too late to believe. It’s never too late to believe.

Wonder # 3: Just how many can we take?

Serious relationships? Heartbreaks? Judgments? Bad hair days?

Just how many of these can we have before we give up? become numb?
Surrender to the thought that one day we could still be happy? With our hearts, our hair, the way we are…

Being judged by other people, that’s irritating. But if you’re used to it, it’s easy to get over. God will bless them. Bad hair days? Change of shampoo, a hair spa, a leave on conditioner. Those are the simple solutions. Serious relationships? Tip : as long as you have a feeling that it’s worth being considered as “serious”, go ahead. Along with that comes the acceptance of the consequences. Also, the hope that it lasts. It’s a 50 -50 thing - always.

…but what if that relationship you considered to be “serious” didn’t turn out to be the kind of relationship you expected? What if the happy ending simply became an ending?

What if it didn’t happen just once?

Losing a loved one is painful. Losing loved ones (I mean your lover) can be just as painful. Especially if you’ve gotten hurt over and over and over and over and over…

Sometimes, it’s not on how many relationships, heartbreaks you’ve had that makes it so painful.

It’s the people you lose.

Relationships aren’t as easy as you think they are. And I bet every other girl who’s experienced heartbreak can relate to that. Relationships are one of the biggest challenges in life.

Let me rephrase that.

Keeping relationships going – that’s one of life’s prevalent challenges.

Not that I’m being conceited and all smug about it, but I guess I’m just lucky that no matter how many times either of us has threatened a break-up, we just never gave in to that. I guess it really does take the two of you to have faith in what you have, and that you can go through things no matter how tough they are.

Because in the end you’ll realize that all you really have is each other.

Wonder # 4: Andrew and the Zsa Zsa Zsu.

Yes, Andrew. My Andrew.

Okay, this one I’m gonna be all haughty about. I know that girls who are in relationships believe that their man is THE man. So here I am, bragging about MY man.

Being the nomadic (thinker) that I am, I have this ritual before the lengthy forty winks. I leave the tube on, channel surf ‘til I get jaded, turn it off, say my prayers…and then I wander off with thoughts of Andrew.

And there I felt it, the zsa zsa zsu.

It’s funny that even if we’ve been together for more than a year now, there are times when it feels like it’s still the first time I get butterflies in my stomach, when I get kilig and all that. I love that feeling.

But when we fight, it’s like hell on earth or something.

But really. When Andrew isn’t peevish (yes he is, but it only happens when he gets really pissed off at me), he’s the sweetest guy on earth.

I’m just so thankful.


On the lighter side of things, my blog looks like crap and it will stay that way for a while. I'm already starting to fix it'll see. Thanks to my cousin...and speaking of cousin...

Wow, you're finally 18. We had "plans" of going to Eastwood ta drown ourselves with booze but...whaddya know? It's Black Saturday so... Yeah...I LOVE YOU CHI!!! Thanks for all the crazy moments we both had, I'm looking forward to a lifetime of them. You're the best cousin in the world. You're the only one keeping me sane...insane... :D MWAH!

Oh, and...

Where are you celebrating? Gawd I can't believe we're all grown-up now, turning 19 and all... anyways, whether you get to read this or now, let me say...before anyone ever got into my life, you were my life. And you will always be a part of my life.
I love you so much. And I miss you.

I will be going with my relatives to Bora on May. Hopefully there wouldn't me much people. (But that would be impossible, right?) I heard Bora is starting to suck but I guess Bora will always be a must-see for me.

I wanna get a tan again. I'm definitely buying a suntan lotion. Sayang Andrew won't be with us. But I guess both of us could like, go there on our 2nd. Ha ha. Just a thought.