Arbitrary Notions.

It was raining real hard and I could feel the rain slap on my legs. Good thing I wore my pink chucks today. I was headed for the terminal. I saw a mother pulling her kid by the arm in the rain. A few steps from the public market. She looked so furious, and all of a sudden she spanks her kid so hard by the ass. At first she looked like it didn't feel shit. 10 seconds later, she opened her mouth so wide and gave out to a cry. Unsatisfied,her mother contented herself with another one. This time, she went into "detail" by pinching her near the buttocks.

I thought about my Mother. I tried to recall humiliating moments such as those. So far, all that my Mom and I have ever done was bawl at each other in public. And that was way back in Palawan. When I was 10. Throwing another one of my signature spoiled fits. A few trace of flashbacks were playing mute in my head but I couldn't tell if they really happened and I just obliterated them from my memory. Or if I was just trying to put myself in those 'lil girl's depleted islanders.

There are things in life that are too excruciaticng to remember. Childhood memories of your father slapping you in the face just because you can't answer a simple mathematical equation like, what's 50+50 for the simple reason that your brain is a lot more focused on your father's raised hand rather than calculating that simple equation. Or that one time when you first fell in love, and you take that first big plunge, ending up in an empty, molded swimming pool. Or that time when you walk on the school grounds with your chin held high and within minutes of feeling euphoric, you end up with your chin on the ground.

It's those moments that affect different people. To us it may be shallow. To them however,could mean their life.

And there are some painfully beautiful experiences, like that time when you first got your heart broken. No matter how painful it ended, the experience just makes you want to hold on to it.

That's the helpless romantic talking.

It all comes down to choosing the painful experiences to forget. And the painful experiences to hold on to.
It's like not caring to hold on to a golden barbed wire.

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