Naked on top of the city.

One thing I loved most about Sara Black's studio was that it was on the eleventh floor. Her dressing area was right in front of the window where you could practically see the whole world - while you were stripping.

I've never felt so free in my entire life. Like, for a second I didn't care about a thing - just the fact that I was in my underwear...on top of the whole world. And no one could see me.

In less than a minute I was able to change into the clothes Ate Trish handed me. Since I said my "tummy" was my best asset, I was assigned to wear guessed it right. AND low-rise jeans.

It took me about more than 30 minutes to get ready. Including hair, make-up ... and the time we spent on "clipping". This time, even my sleeves were clipped.

Sara Black was pretty comf'table to work with. She gave me this vibe that I can be myself on the set - on which I stayed on in less than 5 minutes.

My favorite part was when she required us to giggle. She giggled along with us, too.
She was like, "Okay, now I need you to laugh. Don't worry, I'll laugh along with you...okay, say..hahahaha! C'mon!"...

It became a trend afterwards. Behind the scenes when we'd take pictures in our cellphones and digicams, we'd say "hahahahaha".

Nice one Camz. You started that trend.

Okay, so Toto Labrador's photos will appear on the August Issue. Sara Black's will appear on September... Hmm.. I wonder who'll be assigned for October... Xander Angeles? Wawi Navarroza? Herb Ritz? HOW I WISH!


I'm happy to say she's back, guys. I believe so. Miss-I-was-born-to-ruin-your-life IS BACK! I think that's who LEMAQUETTE is. Tss.

You know what? I'ma go quote my dear friend Honey on this...
FEEL FREE TO LOVE AND HATE ME, my friend. Like I said...hate me? I still get the credit. I believe in KARMA! And I know one day it's gonna backfire on you. Life will hit you hard. You're gonna get bitchslapped and YOU won't like it! Believe me.

But if you must, go ahead... sa bagay... bad people are numb when it comes to karma. As they all say..."masamang damo eh."

Yeah. Malabo nga na kunin ka ni Lord.

Okay then. Abbie wishes you THE best of luck. As for me... life must go on. That includes the camera. AND THE ATTENTION! Whether it's good, bad, unwanted, wanted...whatever!

The spotlight's on you now. LIVE WITH IT.

Haha. It's on me. And I love it. So thank you, for giving me attention. No matter how much you hate me, you think I'm worth your time.

*evil grin*


When fresh meat isn't so good.

I hate froshies. BUT I'm not generalizing.

SOME (yes, SOME) froshie students in La Salle makes me feel so infuriated. Ionno. It's the sight of them walking like they own the road, laughing like there's no tomorrow and giving snares like they're HOT and we're NOT.

It's been like that every single year. Thing is, I remember perfectly the way I was back then. I wasn't like that, neither were my classmates ( I think...basta ako hindi talaga ganon )... but I remember having terrible ( make uber terrible ) fashion sense, thinking those 150 shirts and tanks from ***** were hot. Ick. Remembering MY froshie days makes me feel all barfy.

At least I wasn't a byotch. Some people were, though.

I remember back then when I had a bestfriend ( hey Terryh! ), we belonged to a group of...well, we were three then. Me, Terryh and Len. This girl from "another group" was suddenly...well, lessay the other girls pretty much didn't like the way she was acting or sumn, and so she ended up ALONE. She starts joining us in lunch, until she officially became a part of "our group"...for the simple plan of ruining us.

After school the two of us would hang-out together, and she'd also introduce me to a bunch of guyfriends she knew, who were kinda cute, I must admit. We became pretty much close...

She turned the whole class against me, including Terryh and Len. At some point she made me believe that they were all mad at me for no reason, but the truth is, she made up all these stories for me to be against them, and for me to be against them as well. WHICH made me believe that SHE IS THE ONLY FRIEND THAT I HAD.

When I invited her over to visit,I lost this lipgloss I got from Beauty Bar AND 500 bucks.

I kinda forgot how, but Len, Terryh and I patched up and we started, little by little, avoiding "her".

"She", (God forbid) was the WORSE friend that I've EVER had. Whenever there were pageants and those infamous pond's campus tours (and the like) she'd say, " Nobody else has the rights to join but Nina because she's so pretty " - she'd put me down indirectly. Leaving me with no choice but to think "yeah, she's right", and that I was a nobody and that I had to remain as insecure as I was when it came to Nina, who she worshipped. I myself couldn't deny the fact that she IS pretty. But because of "this girl" I was focused on the things that she had, which made me pity myself.

When Len and I shifted to Journalism, LIFE became MUCH better. I had BETTER FRIENDS, BETTER SUBJECTS... My professors rocked (not that the ones in PolSci didn't), and great things just came...and came...and came my way.

In short, I moved on. And I forgave her. There was no formal apology, but it was best to put things like that behind, even if she made my first days of college like I was living in hell.

BUT she tries to come back by constantly texting me, sending me messages in friendster begging me for a testimo, and when she keeps writing me one she always calls me her bestfriend. I hate it when people call me that - I mean, people who keep considering me as their bestfriend when in reality they're not even CLOSE to that. And to think of what she did...

Joana and Adrian have been together for about two years now, and I've been good friends with them, especially with Adrian, who became my friend even before he and Jo got together. We'd all greet each other in the hallway, make beso...

So "She", again...starts making up all these stories that made me look like a flirt to Jo, and made Jo look like an insecure biatch who thought I was stealing her boyfriend away from her. We were all into a "cold war",and next thing you know, "She" texts me messages asking me if Adrian had a chance with me because he wanted me THAT bad. And even worse - Andrew read it.

So I thought, the best way was to avoid both of them. Joana and I became classmates last summer, but I barely talk to her. I tried my best not to show that I was so uncomf'table being around her, knowing what she thinks of me and all. And I never spoke to Adrian again.

Before my "birth day" ended, I got this message from Joana apologizing, saying she wants to end "all this", and that it was ALL just a misunderstanding. Next thing you know, Adrian called me and cleared it all up.

I cried. Silly of me to, but I did. It was a mixture of hate, of pain, of hate, of hate, of hate. She pulled off a Britney on me. OOOPS, SHE ABSOF*CKINGLUTELY DID IT AGAIN - FOR THE NTH TIME.

When Brittany Murphy said that she never believed it whenever Supermodels tell their stories of Ugly Ducklings and Cinderellas, I thought maybe she was right. But then with all this experience, I guess it's what makes a model - it could be any of the two : What makes one is her dream of ALWAYS becoming one, or all the pain that she had to deal with.

So yeah. What makes a supermodel? Pain and dreams, my friend.

Not that I'm branding myself as one. But I know - that whatever career I'll be successful in, I'm sure going to prove all of the people who belittled me right from Day 1 wrong.

God knows how much I've been through. And I know you'll never understand what it's like.

I've gone too far from the subject. But just looking at them freshmen peepel makes me all reminiscy.

I hope I don't offend any froshie reading my blog, I don't intend to step on anyone's toes. I just don't like it when SOME of you send US this vibe that says :

Yeah right. Tss. Freshmen.


Celebrating nineteen years in boardshorts.

And I couldn't feel any more comf'table.

I'd like to blog about today but it's already past midnight, I just cried my eyes out and I have to look pretty for another shoot tomorrow.

Yes, you heard that right.

I have to skip my Saturday class for another Seventeen Shoot, this time at Sara Black's studio in Makati.

Unless you know who Sara Black is I don't think you'll be as amazed as I am the time I knew she would be taking our pictures. It's just so pathetic that I have all these marks from sandmite bites on my legs.

I felt so sorry I had to leave my huffle puff lumpy boopeedee bee oompkins at the dorms all by himself. I'm so sorry, baby.
And I'm sorry for making up another name again.

Denise also used the word ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY on her June 23 entry. I got that word from Mr. Big. (lol)

Jeez.I have aged another year.

Eighteen will always be "my most memorable age". Because everything started here. I jumped,hopped and skipped to a new chapter in my life, it just makes me feel a whole lot more excited and scared at the same time on what new trials I am about to face.

Today, I texted Andrew's mum this: Kahit po natutupad na yung mga pangarap ko, your son will always be my dream that came true.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I wouldn't be as happy as THIS without him sticking with me.

And OF COURSE - I will NEVER forget, ALL the people who were so good to me this year. And to all the people who were bad - I guess I'll just leave you with Christina's FIGHTER. It's one of my theme songs! I have that to thank you for.

To my family...instead of me treating them, they treated me to Don Hen today. Tita Lyn, Tito guys ARE my second parents. I love you both so much. Thanks for making me feel like a REAL part of your family, your fourth daughter, and sharing all God's blessings with me. I love you guys.

I may not be filthy rich, but I guess there are things that make me a whole lot richer than Bill Gates.

...make that Imelda Marcos.

...okay, my next door neighbor.


Life DOES begin AT SEVENTEEN…when you’re eighteen.

It did for me.

Here it is...the juicy details.

I was ranting about again, another anonymous tag was left this time on Andrew’s tagboard saying how ugly I looked and that I deserved to be in a relationship with another one of my kind, which they believed to be a monggoloid.

As far as I remember, I already had a copy of Seventeen’s May Issue. And just like any other Model Search I’ve seen on ads before, I always thought that I’d just shrug this one off. Like I always did. But something told me that I just had to stop being a p*ssy and just GO for it. I thought that I had to put all their transgressions (it sounds so holy) and bad judgments into something really good…and useful.

SO. I flipped through the pages until I saw the ad. Next thing I knew, I was reading the mechanics, the details, the requirements – and then I thought about it REAL hard.

Just go for it, you duork. (It’s not a typo and I’m not stupid, I just like saying dork that way).

And so I did. I called my Mom and told her all about it, of how I was in dire need of proving things to myself and to other people. I told her I needed cash so I could have my picture taken at the nearest studio (which happened to be in Alabang ). I took out all the vintage stuff my Lola had given me, and paired ‘em wit my low-rise jeans.

2 days later, I was off to Alabang. And the pictures couldn’t look any better.

That was the first sign.

If my brain cells serves me right (which doesn’t happen most of the time), it was that same day I wrote a draft of my essay on why I deserved to be Seventeen’s Favorite Model. I wrote what I felt, I wrote what I believed in…It was like, I went all-heart on that essay.

My lola had it mailed on the 25th. The deadline was on the 31st.

On the way home from picking my Aunt up from the airport, I got a phone call. The number flashing on Max’s screen was new to me, and so I hesitated, but I decided to pick it up.
Hi,this is Donna from Seventeen.


I’d like to inform you about the go-see, It’s on Monday.

It was part one of the phone call that changed my life.
The go-see made me so nervous. It was at Sumit Media’s office in Galleria. The people were nice but with the help of some movies I’ve seen (like 13 going on 30 and How to Lose a Guy in 10 days, etc) I pretty much expected there would be a lot of people running around, so busy with their jobs that they couldn’t stop for a sec, notice the people around them and smile or sumn.

I was part of the Second batch. Ms. Donna led us downstairs, where we were led into another office, and into a small room, where we were to be interviewed by the Seventeen staff.

One of which I did NOT expect to be THE Mia Fausto. Seventeen’s EIC. I tried to keep my cool, and smiled a lot. But I never overdid it, as what Sir Valerio and my Mom advised me. She looked a lot prettier in person. I also didn’t expect her to be the first to pop a question. She looks at our entries, finds mine, looks at me with this very confident face. I remember it sounding this way…

So, Abbie… why did you join Seventeen’s model search?

(I said a lot of stuff but I ended it with) I really do think that Seventeen will be a good start for me.

She smiles and nods. Four Seventeen staff members. Three hopefuls. Where the other one flew ALL the way from Cebu that same day JUST to be able to be in the go-see.

So, they take turns in asking questions, and we take turns in answering each one.

Abbie…what’s your favorite section in the magazine?

I guess to choose just one is hard. I LOVE SEVENTEEN!

They all laugh. In a good way. Not sarcastically.

So, one last question…who do you want to see in the cover of Seventeen?

I’d really like to see Dawn Balagot on the cover. She’s one of the models I look up to since she’s really young. She’s 15 and yet she’s already fulfilled her dream of becoming a model.

Mia turns to another ed sitting next to her and whispers. I've also noticed that they'd write notes down in this little notebook just sitting on their laps while we answer.
After the interrogation (lol),they said they’d just give us a call, the three hopefuls stood up, but before I left I turned to all of them and said…

It’s nice meeting you!

You too!

They all gave me this really good vibe that just made me a whole lot more determined to work with them.
On the way out of the office I bump into Saab and Maxene Magalona.

On another Friday afternoon, after just getting home from Boracay, I got into the house with a tan and sand mite bites.

Abbie, may tumawag sayo…Donna daw.

Ha? Donna? Sigurado po kayo para saakin yun? Kase wala naman akong kaibigang Don…- SANDALI LANG! OMG! SI ATE DONNA! SI ATE DONNA NG SEVENTEEN!

I jumped all the way from the living room to the kitchen screaming my ass off.


After trying to calm myself down I decided that I had to give Ms. Donna a call myself. After minutes of constantly trying, someone picked up her cellphone. And after hearing it was about the model search, she immediately gave the phone to Ms. Donna.

Hi Ms. Donna, It’s Abbie Almasco.

I was trying to call you din but I can’t get through so I called your landline…

I just got home from Boracay kase, my phone’s batt died and I was in the airplane...

Yeah, your Lola told me nga. Was that your Lola?

Yeah, it was.

Okay. So we will be having a photo shoot on Tuesday. Did you get my messages?


You’re in, you’re one of the finalists.

And I scream.

Thank you, Thank you Miss Donna!

No prob!

You really just have no idea how much this means to me. Just being a part of the twelve means a lot.

Actually even just being a part of the 40 girls who were asked to go to the go-see.

Second call that totally changed my life.
So she texts me the details.

Toto Labrador. THE Toto Labrador, responsible for capturing some of today’s hottest faces on his lens. Will also be responsible for taking OUR pictures.

So I got there on his studio, past 10 A.M. at Samar St. in Q.C.
Right there and then…Abbie’s on make-up. BOOM. Who do I see? Barbi Chan. But she did Saab. Effie Go did mine. Unbelievable. I TOTALLY CANNOT BELIEVE MY EYES. I didn’t recognize Effie Go at first. So being the duork that I am, after asking me if anyone else thought I looked like Lucy Liu, I asked her,

What’s your name?


Damn. Could I be that stupid to not recognize Effie Go? She’s really good. She was so careful with my face, and she was really nice. At times when she’d look at me in the mirror to check if she needed to add some more here, or there…she’d catch me looking at her and then we’d smile at each other.

Even with the make-up artists, I felt so stunned. Even this time when Barbi Chan touched my hair and teased me looking like Medusa ( Effie twisted them ) I just felt like my feet weren’t on the floor anymore.

I changed twice. The first outfit was too big, as I predicted. I liked my second outfit better. Jing was the first co-finalist I ever talked to. She reminds me of Liv Tyler. She looks really pretty. She has a full body, but she’s got curves. Yes, she really does remind me of Liv Tyler. She was so easy to talk to. I told myself I won’t be having a hard time conversing with this one.

I sat next to Saab in the leather couch. We were so quiet. AT FIRST. I took out Da Vinci and read it, with my earphone stuck on the right ear. I kind of forgot how the conversation started, but soon, we started talking. Next thing you know we were taking pictures of ourselves. Making kulitan. Cussing. Laughing our asses off. MTV even caught us fooling around on camera. Saab was so nice. No primadonna act goin’ on. She’s one of ‘em real girls.

Being on the set was THE BEST feeling in the world. Especially when I’d pose and Toto would be like, “GREAT!GOOD!” (Sigh). Snaps for Abbie and Ate Trish. Thanks for helping me get that Paris Hilton walking Tinkerbell look.

9 out of 10 finalists made it to the shoot. I wonder what happened to the other one. We were divided into two groups. The first girl left so early, even before we all could arrive. Saab, Yen and Camz were in my group. Saab and I are sooo kulit. In between takes we’d just tease each other and she even told me that the background music was the exact song she had in mind when she entered the studio.

The Chemical Brothers. Ay mali pala, hindi pala yan yun!

And then I spank her on the knee.

Pero alam ko rin yan eh….Uhm…Radiohead.

I guess you’d think that I gush about Saab too much because she’s appeared on the cover of “Total Girl!” with her sister who just happens to be Maxene Magalona. Or in that Spongecola video, KLSP.

But no. It’s because I also find her so real. Like she’s just an ordinary girl. But actually she’s not, and that’s what I find so special about her. And besides, she really is one of the girls I had a lot of convos with. Plus she’s deranged like me.
I remember her knocking on the bathroom door while I was in, changing. And she was about to leave. She shouts “BYE!” right after she knocks, and I open the door and we make beso.

The whole time I forgot we were all competing against each other. There’s a modeling contract we’re all after, the 30 gran, the chance of appearing FRONT cover on Seventeen’s November Ish.

But it’s like, working with people like this… it’s easy to forget that you’re in a competition. It’s like, we were all there just to have fun and pose and smile and look pretty.


Fact #1 - Even if I've gotten to be in the Top 10, there will ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY still be insecure byotches lying around on the road that I'm taking right now.

Fact #2 - They will still brand me as ugly, bony, and not deserving to be where I am right now.

Fact #3 - I AM ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY sure that they would say sumn like : There are far more prettier girls than you, you're not supposed to be in such a magazine.

Fact #4 - Well I guess you know what follows. It's a given, one number after the other...they will ALWAYS be there! There will always be someone, there will always be something said against you.

But I guess I'll just have to stick with one thought:

Not that I meant it in a "I'm-so-perfect-and-this-is-all-getting-to-my-head" way, but in the ONLY way that I know wouldn't affect me from all their gobbledygook.

In the end, what matters is the dream that I'm fulfilling.
The people who believe in me.
And God's blessings.

As for me, I'm still trying to absorb all this. I guess it takes time. Looking at all the girls I'm with, it's hard to believe I'm a part of it (as I've said), but I AM.

Cham, Jing, Saab, Sharon, Essy, Camz, Yen - you guys...thanks. I wish that after this we'd all still get to hang-out.

Special shout-out to Yen - the girl who rocks. My instant ka-text mate. Thank you for being SUPER nice to me even if we've just met. I really am so jealous that you belly dance. Darn it. Thanks for convincing me though. *smooch*

Okay. I guess that's it.
Make sure to tune in to MTV Get Spotted at 4:30 P.M. - It's on everyday. I have a weird feeling our ep would be aired this week. Watch out for me, I totally look like a duork but...sige lang!

If you want to see a few pictures, check out my second account at Friendster.

Seventeen Philippines - mabuhay tayong lahat! hehe. Whatever. It's my way of saying you guys rock.



Taking a hitch on a rollercoaster ride.

That's how I feel. Get ready for the mushiest entry of my life.

Sometimes I look at those polaroids Toto Labrador's assistants laid on that table just next to the set where we had our photos taken. I look at myself. Dressed in country-style,with my hair all curly, holding a pooch bag like it was Tinkerbell.

This must be a dream.

Having my face made-up by Effie Go, Barbi Chan teasing me about looking like Medusa after my hair was all twisted, and having Toto Labrador shout "GREAT! GOOD!" everytime I get the pose right... it must be all a dream. i don't even know if I was supposed to be there.

One thing's for sure, though. I AM a part of something big. And as I've always said, the winning part is JUST a bonus. It's the experience that makes me feel so happy for being one of the TEN. Yes, TEN.

I'll tell you guys about the details. I'm still typing it offline back in the dorms.

Saab Magalona may be a sister to Maxene, and a daughter to Francis M. But she's one of the REAL girls that I know. I'm so glad we somehow got the chance to talk and laugh and cuss and tease and spank each other, PLUS camwhore a lot. All we do is, "TARA, PIC!...ay,ayoko nyan, pangit ako diyan..ISA PA!"

Thanks Jing for being the first person I've ever talked to on the shoot. Thanks Sharon for keeping me company after you saw me alone sitting at the couch even if you and Saab were acting all crazy taking pictures of yourselves.

Will post pictures soon.

Please watch Get Spotted on MTV. It's at 4 P.M. I'm such a dum-dum for not asking when's it airing.

And please grab a copy of Seventeen's August Ish.

Thank you, God. You've given me THE best birthday gift of my life. Because I know, whether I win or not... this is leading somewhere GOOD. somewhere BIG. somewhere I've always wanted to be.

TO THE PEOPLE WHO HATED ME - If it weren't for your consistency, I SWEAR this wouldn't have been possible. I know me being a part of this wouldn't change anything, or make you think of me any better. But this time I really won't care. For all we know, it's what got me here in the first place. Ugly or worse, call me whatever you want. It might just get me farther than this. So, kudos to you guys.

AND HOW COULD I FORGET - to all the people who just KEPT pushing and pushing me to get there. Guys. I AM THERE. You know who you are. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!

Andrew - Thank God for you. Thanks for UNDERSTANDING. I love you so much. You will always be my dream that came true.

Yes guys, WE'RE A-OKAY. Whatever that means.


Fans of my ass, gather around...

DON'T...get me wrong. This ain't one of my conceited entries.

FIRST OF ALL, a shout-out to my blog idol, MIKE - thanks for the code! No more biting for you, pathetic woosers! (Snaps for Lance for adding a new word in my vocab!) MIKE, YOU ROCK! Crackalackin'!!! LOL.

Okay, so...As we were walking on our way home from church, a bunch of deranged little kids were running after me. One of which kept shouting, "HOY!!!...PSST!". I didn't mind them, not until one of them (which happened to be a little boy) just went straight up my rear and put his hands on them just like when Drew Barrymore puts her handprints on that infamous Hollywood street.

I hate it when I see "Ms. Malice" possessed in little children. And to think that the older children (with him) didn't even say anything. They just laughed along...with my cousin, Maro (you freak!!! lol).

Was I supposed to do sumn about it? Thinking that he's JUST a little boy? Or am I making such a big deal out of this?

I may not be J.Lo, and I know there are far a lot more better asses than mine, but I love my rear so much. It's like, one of my prized possessions. Andrew loves these buns! (lol! Not that it's a joke. haha.) You'd get so lucky if you laid even just a finger...or your pinky, or the tip of your nail on this! (Damn, those arabs who harrassed me then are lucky!) If I were filthy rich I'd insure them.

No, that's just pathetic.
But honestly? Nothing feels better than loving your body. And feeling confident about it. The only thing I hate are these freakin' sandmite bites I got from Bora. I noticed that almost everyone in the airport at Caticlan has them. It's like, a souvenir from Boracay!

Okay, so moving on...before this turns into A conceited entry.

Just when things are starting to be great for you, problems come along with it!
Now, I'm just so tired of trying to be happy. And yes, I am excited about tomorrow. But knowing that your own boyfriend just ISN'T happy about you being there...and this might even result to something really bad.

GUYS... I have this question. If your girlfriend has always dreamt of being a model, and finally she gets the chance to pursue it... being the jealous type and all, would you consider asking her to choose between yourself and her dream, or would you totally support her, regardless of the attention you know she'll be getting? Would you even THINK about changing the way things are between you? Or would you THINK that what she's getting into would hurt you? Would you even THINK that the solution to not getting hurt is to lessen your love for her?

And in the first place? What's so BAD about being a model? What's so PAINFUL about your girlfriend pursuing her dreams?


I'm dazed here. Trapped. It's like being a claustrophobic and being stuck in an elevator.

If anyone could just explain this to me RIGHT NOW. Or else I'll end up in the asylum tomorrow, rather than Toto Labrador's studio. Rather than Seventeen's August Ish. Rather than MTV.

Yes, you heard it right. So if these are the things I'm getting into, is it THAT bad?

What to do? Choosing is bullsh*t.

Definitely. Can I just choke Andrew right now? And maybe shake him? Just a little bit? And maybe...bitchslap? Just a little... And maybe... kick his ass?


Is this bad I'm ranting about my boyfriend in my blog? When it's a public blog?
Ohwell. Better than suicide.


When things get cliché.

Lovelife? Career? Career? Lovelife?

Which comes first? Which should be given much priority? When both makes you happy... When you both have been dreaming about both...a healthy career, and a healthy lovelife.

Okay, so... this is great. I mean, really great. I would get to do the things I'ce always wanted, the things I've always been dreaming of since I was 8.

Isn't so cliché? Things are going great with your career, and here comes... the rocky road of relationships.

Let's say, the feeling of having a boyfriend feel jealous over someone feels kinda good. Especially when it comes to wanting your attention all the time, yada yada... I love it whenever Andrew indirectly says, "Baby, I want you to be all mine". (Cheesy, I know) He's never liked me joining all those Fashion shows at school. He never liked other guys lookin' at me and sh*t. He always thought that I did them all for attention, because I LIKED guys drooling at me. He just has no idea. Sometimes it still hurts me that my own boyfriend thinks of me that way. But I guess it all comes down to the fact that he still has to know more about me. A year isn't as long as you think.

We texted about it (because we both let things out easier when we "write" them - it works that way for us), and I said sumn like "You've only known me for a year or so. My friends who knew me way back DO understand know that this means A LOT to me"... And I guess he understood. But you can't help feeling that he's just not comf'table. Especially when he said "..I'll let you do your thing. Just don't drag me into those stuff..."

It kind of hurt and relieved me in a way. Thankfully...he didn't break up with me, or let me choose between "the two".

Anyway, it all ended with him saying that he's still going to support me. Even if it meant he won't be with me physically in those times that I'll be "out there". Andrew just never IS comf'table with the crowd's eyes set on me.

And IF he ever reads this (because he barely does, he says he never "got" me and my posts - silly, ain't it?), I just wanna say that I'm thankful that he's trying his best to understand me, and accept me even if it's kinda against his beliefs or sumn. I know it's not easy, but thanks for hearing me out, thanks for letting me do this, for giving it straight to the point. The truth hurts. It always does, always gave it to me straight up. It's a WHOLE lot better that way. You might not understand my reasons for why I've been wanting to do this. But I also want you to know that this is for YOU.

I wish that after all this, one day you'd say..."I'm so proud of you, Baby."

OKAY LES CUT THE CRAP RIGHT NOW. (whew) Whenever I get sentimental I just get...lost.

Sometimes, when I think about the fact that I've gotten in, that finally...AFTER YEARS of dreaming that I'd see myself on the pages of an à la mode's finally happening.'s finally happening.


Miss Boracay 2005

HAH! I know what shot up right in your heads the first time you read that.
I won a Boracay Pageant?


The most fun part about blogging is coming up with a title to your entry. It's just like writing a headline for a local newspaper. It somewhat has to be catchy, something that might interest their readers. Thinking of a title for your entry is always challenging to me.

Miss Boracay 2005 is the first drink I've had in months. It's a mix of Kahlua, Bailey's, Whiskey and Hershey's Choclit Syrup! I was supposed to order a Cosmo, but I've ALWAYS had Cosmo whenever I felt like drinking. So I decided to try something new. And THIS is something new.

But me getting RED in the middle of my drink IS NOT new. That is SO me. I'm a loser, I told you. I'm not like y'all hardcore socialite people that can party hard. I didn't mean it the way it sounds. If you only knew I've been trying to turn myself into that for the longest time. Well, I guess you can just blame it on the genes. You guys are lucky.

So, Boracay was GREAT. Mike was absolutely right. It IS heaven on earth! We stayed at this really...chic place. Actually, I'm too tired to share everything right now, or post pictures for that matter. But I have one thing that I'd like y'all to hear.

After this incident I came up with one thought. It was a runner-up for this entry's title.

Abbie : Reyna ng mga inday.

It's funny, that when you see an American guy, he always his chimay looking girl walking in hand with him. ( Watch out, Karma! ) But really. I've always thought that when it came to Filipina women, the Americans seem to be picking all the wrong ones. Their idea of EXOTIC is totally diverse. Who started this trend anyway?

So...we just came from Jonah's, and we were on our way to D'Mall, got a henna tat ( I hate it ) and then came across a group of American guys, who (if I weren't mistaken) were checking me out. I even caught two of them pointing at me. You might think I'm being boastful about this. But honestly, I'm not flattered. Well, thanfkul that they appreciated me, maybe.

If they were these Chad Micheal Murray typ'a crowd then maybe I'd like it ( what a byotch ) but these were pretty old guys. No, they didn't have 9 month old tummies. But the idea that these men, men their age like "exotic" filipinas.... there something to be excited about?

Or should I just be happy that I somehow get to be in my very own Queendom? Bleak. What am I talking about? Four American guys for crying out loud!

Oh, and btw...

Today I finally made my dreams come true. This is probably the cheesiest entry ever.

God made it happen. He did. He heard me, and he granted me my wish.
Just a week ago, I said sumn like getting a call that might, and partly have changed my life. Well now...I'm saying that it did.

Yes, it DID.

Thank you, Sir Valerio. Honey. Choel. Ja. Sir Rivera. Lance. Andrew..
YOU GUYS. You guys made me believe in myself. Made me believe in my abilities. In the things that I can do. That I can accomplish. For appreciating me for who I really am. This might not seem like a big deal to any of you. But for the people who know me, know that it is for me.

I GOT IN. I'M ONE OF THE TWELVE. I'm one of the lucky, final 12.

I don't wanna spill the beans yet, but... You'll see me.

Oh, you'll see me.

Can I just faint, like...right now?


Tampons...check! Boardshorts...check! And my rack? DAMN!

It is no secret that I am not very gifted with those. But I'm proud to say... the fat which was intended to be up there, went back there. And I'm so proud of it. But I can never quote Jennifer Lopez saying that she could "serve coffee using her rear as a ledge". If I could though, I bet my boyfriend wouldn't hesitate marrying me right now.

I was kidding, baby. approximately 8 hours, we will be heading to Paradise. I really should get some sleep. I slept at 7 AM today, got up at 12. But I can't. SO MUCH TO DO!
Work-out! Work-out! I hafta get those abs visible! (snorts)
And it's a good thing though that the Red Flag days are OVER! i just to bring extra tampons just in case. (Sigh) Thank God.

No matter how lethargic I was (like I always am, what's new...)I had to drag my ass out of bed. I had to get myself a suntan oil. I want to end the summer with a new, golden tan... Les'all say - BORA here I come!

And whenever I have, like, extra PHP20 I always make it a habit to buy the Inquirer. Sometimes I feel so dense. Like, the only world I know existing is my world. (No, it's not made of flowers and butterflies. More of like, wobbly, eerie creatures of the underworld). So whenever I want to fly back to this earth I tune in to CNN or The National Geographic or read the newspaper.

NO,'re missing the whole point.
Where was I?

Yes, so I was staring at this window full of cigs. And there's something about Capri that always gets my attention. I've never liked smoking. And I don't have anything against smokers. I tried a few times, but only if I had problems (Like, this one whole week last year. Which started exactly on my 18th birthday). That was the last time. And back then whenever I'd hold a stick they'd laugh at me, saying that I didn't know how to do it properly. Whatever. So, there I was. Staring at that box of Capri. And all of a sudden...

Why don't you buy one?

What? I can't buy one! It's not me to have a cigarette butt stuck in between my lips.

It'll make you look cool. All you need is a little practice.

Shut up.

Tell me. Is this what I get for being an insomniac? Or is this the effect of being an only child? You end up talking to yourself in the mirror. yourself.

Wait a sec...
(Nods in disappointment) What difference does that make?
I need professional help.


Yet…another very hilarious indecent proposal.

EXPLICIT CONTENT, EXPLICIT CONTENT... If you are below 18 I advice you not to read this post. Whatever.

Don't hate me people, but apart from the many indecent proposals that I have gotten from my friendster and hipstir accounts, I find this one rather....amazing!

I did not mean this in a good way, you perverts.

First of all, every guy who wants ta "take me home" (it's always through messages. Never in person. Thank God.) always has bad grammar. (God, please don't hate me for writing this post. I just couldn't help it.) What is it with me? So do I just attract men with bad grammar? Is that what this is all about?

Guys. First of all, if you're really interested in a girl...don't always assume she puts the E in Easy (??? Okay, whatever that means). Second, if you know you're bad in English...don't use it. This is a major turn-off. Besides, even if they were so good with words... Sorry. I just don't get turned-on by these...whatever you call them. I may be a pervert but luv...I won't go that far.

And I may be liberal...but that doesn't make me easy...or tacky.

And for chrissakes, I have a boyfriend, you dimwit! Can't you read my profile? Or is it because it was written in English? Reading this letter made me want to barf and laugh my ass off at the same time. I didn't know what would I want to do first.

If you want to know what I'm talking it is.

You hafta be near the bathroom door when you read this. Trust me. Here goes!

(dis is just a sexy joke, don act seriously, be open minded den it is nothing, all right? here we go.......)

hi abbie, i thk ur breast side got 35Es is it? let listen wat i wan 2 do on u, u r so beautiful n sexy. when i look at ur sexy n big breast n ur seductive ass, my cock suddenly bcome so hard, it's about 8cm. So, i m now playing my cock til shooting on the screen com. Thus, hope dat u giv me ur contact number n i'll come to fetch u, bring u 2 my home 2 hv a sex party. we can do it all over place u like n all kinds of matter u love, fuck u whole night stil can!! Oh baby, let me fuck ur pussy, push u hard deeply in2 u, let u scream highly, excited then fuck u exteremly!! push n push ur ass !!eat ur nipple if can n kiss all over ur body. finally, let me push u hard until pussy swallow whole cock! then suddenly shooting o the mel in2 ur ass, let u taste the extreme high. hope u can suck my cock n let me shooting in ur mouth, then must swallowed all. after heard my expression, do u do it by urself now? don like dat, ask me 2 give u de service on the spot, ok? let me know ur opinion,ok? keep in touch.........

An 8cm dingy. That's like, the saddest thing I've ever heard. Oh, you poor baby. Or is it because he's Vietnamese? Or, a poser maybe?

Okay, I don't really call this a fair fight, but... you can check out his profile. This guy is deranged, I tell ya. He has pictures of his dingy in it.

I know I said I lived in circa NOW, but that doesn't translate that I'd give in to things like this. Too bad I don't have a male's libido. If I were a despicable fag I might've said YES in a New York Minute. But even if I were a gay, I'd still dress like those faggots in SATC.

Sometimes I just couldn't help wondering...where do the male species get all that...(grunts) ENOUGH! ENOUGH, ABBIE.

I've seen enough **** for today. So if you're actually planning on showing me yours?




I know it happens to most of us. We dream, we dream, we dream. We keep on dreaming of things we want accomplished in life. Things we've always dreamed of doing, of having, of facing.

Oftentimes, I'd find myself daydreaming. Whenever I am left at a corner, or whenever everyone's silent in the car, minding their own beeswax, inhaling cigarette sticks, listening to Stereophonics on their iPod, or simply snoring... you'd find me...gazing out the window. No, not looking to see if there's yet another dead cat on the road for me to whine about. I said, daydreaming.

Today, I have actually seen a part of it become reality.

And I ABSOLUTELY love the feeling.
Nothing's better than starting to make your dreams come true. God knows...whether it's IN or OUT, things will start from here. From today. From now.

Total bliss.

And I have God to thank that for. Hey you know what guys? Call me trite or whatever... but... God loves me. He surely does.

We'll be off to Boracay on Wednesday! 5 AM, Baby! I finally got the Billabong goodies I've always wanted. Don't worry, will post pictures.

I'm finally growing into a woman. I'm learning to drag my ass out of the house without any make-up on, except for...loose powder and Lancome Juicy Tubes! (snorts)
Sometimes, don't you just love being low-maintenance? I know I do.

If there's any flaw about this week, it's that... the red flag's up.


Jeez. The title of this entry is supposedly :

Fudge darn it.

Okay, being Ms. Brightside, I'll just hafta put on that fake smile and say "That's Hot!" (lol) Good thing though it's not like, the Niagra falls or sumn.

Jeez. Tampons. Damn. You gotta be kidding me, right? Sometimes, don't you just ABHOR a girl?

Dammit! Okay, I take that back. AGAIN.


Abbie is a used diaper.

According to my cousin, the little Ms. Danielle Chloie Abrogar, that is.

Would you believe, at the young age of 7, this girl watches Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie in A SIMPLE LIFE? She even uses the word "That's Hot!". I was like, "I love Paris!" and she's like, "I like Nicole". I told her that Nicole wasn't really such a nice girl to like. I guess she sees Nicole as a 7 year-old kid just trynna have some fun.

We were calling each other weird names. "Used Diaper, Toilet Bowl, Eyeball", are some of the words in our vocabulary last night. Joanne (my Aunt) says she could just see me in Chloie since we both have this attitude of being so HYPER.

And not to mention, at 10:00 today, Chloie became my instant ka-telebabad. We talked about her CD collection and Palawan. This smart little girl will be studying in Colegio de San Agustin (it's within Dasmarinas Village in Makati). She mumbles about how much she likes it there. So we talked about a LOT of stuff then I asked her what her sport was and she said "Badminton! I like swimming,too". Yeah, badminton. My 7 year-old cousin plays badminton. I am such a loser. (snorts) I remember this one time in Palawan, her cellphone was ringing, her bestfriend Bessy was in the other line, who happens to be asking her "out" to play badminton with her. And she answered (with her signature accent)..."But I can't today Bessy, I'm watching..."

I'm so proud of her. And I love hanging-out with her! She's that kid I can't wait to walk around in Greenbelt with. (LOL) Especially go shopping with. I guess even at seven, I wouldn't mind holding her hand and trotting around with her. She's not like most of "those" kids. My little Chloie here's got class. And she loves her Ate Abbie so much! (aww!)

So, yesterday... I got myself the Shu Uemura cleansing oil and an Origins white tea skin guardian. Tita Lyn made abono muna since my money din't arrive yet. It was about PHP 4,000 but it was worth it! I'll definitely be going back there on my birthday. Don't you just love Rustan's? I got these really cool 60's shades from People are People. I'ma go wear it on Bora. (snorts)

So, here are a few pics from this week:

My cousin Chi and I at the infamous food choices at Glorietta 4

She says she's watching so she can't look at the camra.

Cody in their condo in Magallanes.

This was back in their house in Palawan

Oh, this is me taken the other day. (lol)

OH, and before I forget: Happy Birthday Alfy! (He's Andrew's youngest brother) MWAH! I can tell that you'll grow up just like your big brother. You'll have an awful lot of "fans" as well. I wish we'd all spend more time together. Enjoy being a kid! It's fun! I sometimes find myself wishing I was still seven. With all the cool toys nowadays you just can't help it. Have fun, it's your day!

As for me... Life DOES rock. Wish me luck. Tomorrow will be the beginning of the rest of my life.
In the name of all things cheesy, I say : AMEN TO THAT! God bless me. I'm serious. Really.



I'm so lame I couldn't even think of a title for this entry. But I guess it does describe the kind of day that I had today.

I received a phone call that could...and have partly, changed my life.

And I couldn't be happier. But I'm leaving you with just that. All I'm asking for you guys to do is simply pray for me. It helps a LOT.

And I bet my cousin couldn't be either. She has THE iPod photo (30 GB, Baby!) in her hands. AND a new Nokia 6630... When we were installing iTunes in my laptop, there was this dialog box that asked sumn like " What would you like to name of your iPod? " (or sumn like that) and since she's a HUGE Harry Potter fan, we thought of a REALLY cool name. Crookshanks. (LOL)My Tita just got back from Japan since we'll be headin' to Bora altogether. I really can't wait for that. We're gonna be staying in this really (emphasis on really) cool place. GAH!

Pop says he just might consider getting a P910i, and we already agreed that IF he does we would be exchanging phones. But I love this phone. I remember when I saw it's box sitting on my bed I just couldn't believe it. My P900 (MAX) will be turning a year old on June 21. Could you believe I named my phone Max?

Alan's right. I'm deranged AND retarded. Jeez.


Abbie : Comrade of the models.

Nah. Dream on, Abbie! I just can't come up with a title. (Snorts) Actually, the thing I love about blogging is that you get to be the voyeur that you've always wanted to be when it comes to showbiz personalities or models, or anything of that sort. Just to pick a piece of their brains or know how normal their lives are.

I'm a frequent reader of Ala's blog (Love her, love her entries..such a smart little girl), so I decided to check out her Friendster profile, and thankfully I found the REAL one (it's always easy to tell), she added me, accepted my friendster testimo and all that. As so you know, Ala is a penshoppe model, so she's connected with Lucy and Dawn and all that (Lucy Watmore's site rocks too. Ugh! Photoshop geeks. I wanna be one!), and I found Dawn's account in Ala's, and since she's like, one of the models I look up to in a way (She's only 15 and yet she's already started fulfilling her dreams), I decided to add her up and send her a message saying how pretty she is, how she inspires me and all that. So I wasn't expecting her to reply, but she just did! And that doesn't happen, like, ALL THE TIME!

She was really nice, she even wished me luck in my career (when I have one, *teehee*) and added "Maybe we'd get to work together sometime". Sweeet! And to think that it's really her (again, because it's always so easy to tell). I wish more models were like that. AND IF I ever get to be in the modeling industry, well...I'd be friends with people like Dawn. God bless her.

But I don't think I would even be at my own party. First is because I'm a loser. My schedule sucks because I have (yet again, another) semester filled with great Saturday classes, which ends at 7 P.M. That's it. My nightlife is DEAD. Second, Andrew isn't your typical par-tay boy. But I really do like the idea. Plus, Allan says he'd get everybody together. COOL. He just got back from HOME (states) and he was so bored sittin' on his ass all day, so he decided to text me. We were both so bummed out that we had nothing left to talk about but how funny it was that we totally had NOTHING to do but sit on our lazy asses.

And talk about bein' so friggin' excited about Boracay. I started packing today. Okay, I can't blame you if you suddenly burst into laughter.

Ja texted me today. One of the many things I'm thankful of is that I'm REALLY good friends wit my ex. That's the good thing about having a person as your friend FIRST before you find yourself in a relationship with him. At least your "relationship" isn't purely based on "love". Not that friendship isn't, but you know what I mean. Ja, if you ever get to read this, it's been 4 years you perv! We're gonna hafta do A LOT of catching up. Jeez.

One day (which I hope is tomorrow) I would be posting a lot more fun entries than these. I'm gonna be like "Whew! I just came from Embassy. Saw Tim Yap and took a pic wit him. Here, see this..."

HOW I WISH. Well, mark my words people. I WILL GET A LIFE! I owe it to you guys to post something... rather amusing. Hey, it's not my fault my life is this boring. Go censure my parents for not wanting to give their only daughter a car. Sometimes, don't you JUST hate being a girl?

Okay, I take that back.


Old man dies, young girl lives... Fair fight.

ALL HAIL FRANK MILLER. I say, ALL HAIL FRANK MILLER! (Yeah. all caps and bold letters combined, and still it doesn't really tell how much this movie is a must-see). SIN CITY IS ONE HELLUVA KICK-ASS MOVIE (Yes, that too. And emphasis on KICK-ASS). Kudos to his co-director Robert Rodriguez and THE Quentin Tarantino as well for partly directing this movie. And to all the drool-worthy actors and actresses in it. (Josh Hartnett, YOU WERE SIZZLING. I love that deep, cold voice o'yers. Jessica Alba would've made guys sweat. So as Rosario Dawson and Jaime King. Clive Owen...was so SEXY! And how could I forget DEVON AOKI? She rocks! Benicio Del Toro was as Elijah Wood. I loved Mickey Rourke and Bruce Willis, well...what do you expect? He's always GOOD). I loved that the movie was in black and white, and the only color that you could see was the blood, and the color of their eyes and hair sometimes. And how artistic the movie was made, like when the entire background goes black, and the silhouttes of the actors are white... (GAAAH!) It's definitely a MUST MUST MUST see. Paying a hundred and thirty bucks was definitely...DEFINITELY worth it!!!

Make sure you have your hankies handy. You'll sweat seeing Jess dance her ass off.

Did I just plug a movie? Oh well.

Erm, today...
...was one of the best days of my life! I had so much fun. Choel and I last saw each other last year. Eons ago. So we decided to meet up at Glorietta (shmuck!) today. Thankfully, he was hardly 5 minutes late. We ate at Tender Bob's, and both dragged our asses to watch SIN CITY ( I better stop mentioning it because then I won't be able to stop talking about it.) afterwards we went to U where I checked out some of their new stuff, sniffin' around if I were to buy anything there on my birthday (snorts) in which I did. (Can you say, FCUK?) I adored Wahine's swimwear but I already had my eyes fixed on Billabong. Then we went to good 'ol Starbucks(Talk about being in Poserville. Jeez). And then headed for Greenbelt. When I go shopping, I am definitely going to spend time in Greenbelt. Firma, Sifra, Prima Italia... Lush had better stuff there than their branch in Glorietta 4. We passed by Powerbooks where I wanted to buy THE DA VINCI CODE (with illustration! PHP 1300+, not bad for a hard-bound, illustrated book..not to mention a best-seller and a must-read)...

We were inside Greenbelt 3 when we passed by Kitchie Nadal. Choel had this HUGE crush on her. Usually when I see a showbiz personality (that I really like) I'd just shrug the idea of asking for a picture taken together off. This time though, I din't know what came over me that I actually said " C'mon let's follow her! " And we did. She was prettier in person. Short, but she was white! And simple too. I love how they could pull off that I-don't-fix-my-hair-so-bug-off look. After we were done stalking (because it would've been weird if we followed her all the way to Greenbelt 2), here comes THE Sarah Meier (I have so much respect for this girl), I din't expect being an MTV VJ would actually make you "grow" eyebags. It's the first thing you'd actually notice. I could've been observing what she was wearing (because she's considered one of THE fasyon gurus by... me.) but I was distracted by her HEIGHT. Talk about being 6 feet tall. That and the fact that she had dark 180 degree like circles under her eyes. But inspite of all that,she still looked pretty. I din't even manage to see if who was she with.
And so we toddled, toddled, toddled until I found myself in front of TEMPLE. Damn! I've ALWAYS wanted to go to TEMPLE ( and Embassy, and Peligro, and Club V ... I realized I din't need a life. I needed a NIGHT LIFE. I'm turning 19 for chrissake! I wanna go PAR-TAY! ). It felt like I was glued right in front of the entrance.

Usually I'd buy a CD when I practically heard almost all of the artists' tracks. But I don't do that anymore. I buy CD's all because I like this ONE SONG. (Thanks for letting me, Mum!) J.Lo's Rebirth, Tori Amos' The Beekeeper, Hale's self titled album, Stereophonics' Language..Sex..Violence..Other? and Missy Higgins' The Sound of White. Lucky if some of my friends have 'em, I'll simply borrow them and burn it! Like Gwen's Love..Angel..Music..Baby, My Chemical Romance, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Fever to tell... I'd like to buy Cynthia Alexander's album, The Beach and In Good Company's OST! Oh, and a few of The Beatles' albums. Strawberry Fields is one of my favorite songs. Hello, I used to listen to it when I was like, seven!... (Bursts into song).." Let me take you down, 'coz I'm going to...Strawberry Fields..." (LOL)

I've only seen Missy Higgins' video on MTV twice. But I love her already. So when I scanned through her tracks, I din't hesitate on buying her album. Her music definitely puts you in a very solemn mood. It's her album that I plan to play on my MP3 player while I'm sitting in Boracay's white sand watching the sunset. Reflecting on my life. I love how music can do that to you. I know this summer isn't over yet, but I'd say this is the best that I had.

...People always say not to take life seriously. But I guess you should, in a different context. I always want each day I spend in this life to be extra special. I always try to make ways, even little ways just so I could say that this day is not wasted. I always try to see the bright side of things. I try not to make this small sablay a big issue. Think again, you don't need to have Cancer, or HIV just to realize how important your life is. So do something about your life if all you do is sit on your lazy ass!

...I always told myself that when I have my own children, I'd dress them up in Guess Kids and Ralph Lauren outfits. I don't want my baby to look gusgusin! And I'm going to teach them manners. I don't want my kids to be running around and screaming in Church while the Priest gives his homily. No, I don't want them to be maarte. I just want them to be like me. My Mom would always tell me how well-mannered I was when I was a todd. I did scream and run around all the time, but it was always at the right place. I also saw these uber cute Havaianas flips for kids at U today. Jeez, children of today are very lucky. Okay, this part of the post is pretty much nonsense. Just felt like saying all that. (snorts) Gaah! This means my brain cells are dying on me again!

Choel and I had so much fun, even if all we did was toddle and natter. Nothing beats being with an old friend. People just never understood me for being so close with my guyfriends. They all think that I flirt with my guyfriends. But I guess my mother just raised me as someone who doesn't put much malicious thoughts in her head. I'm a very liberal and open-minded person. All I know is that me loving my guyfriends, well...nothing's wrong with that! We never took advantage of our friendship, we never crossed each other's line, and I'm glad my boyfriend understands and trusts me having so much guyfriends. Besides, even if I get misunderstood, I always try to explain how I am to him. He doesn't really get ME yet but he'll get there.

To Choel - thanks for today and for showing up on time. You're one of the best guyfriends ever, and I'm glad we got to keep our friendship going on like this. Thanks for not forgetting to call me at home (just like the old days in Jeddah where we spent HOURS chatting, chatting, chatting...), making me feel like not all things change. And the cliche - for always being there for me. Luvya, Cupcake! (snorts) Ick. Cupcake. Why the hell did we come up with calling each other that back in third year?

I'm turning 19 in 23 days. Ick. No, make that double ick!


Methinks gobbledygook.

Usually, when my mind wanders off while I'm in the passenger's seat, I'd think mostly about the future. Things were different today. I thought about the past. And being the control freak that I am, I took out my p900, got the stylus and inscribed all my thoughts down on jotter. So I wrote, thought, wrote,'s pretty much nonsense, but it's those type of things that just pop up in your head when you think about the past.

This is what I came up with:
Yuchengco Tower. Chuck'n'Cheese's. Jeddah. IPSJ. Mom - airport. Palawan. Pop.

And since I'm bored, and this would be one way for me to keep 'em brain cells from working, I decided to tell you more about them. And since I was inspired from Isabel Allende's THE HOUSE OF THE SPIRITS, it's not in chronological order.

Whenever my mom would come home from Jeddah, we'd always go to the Yuchengco Tower in Makati. I remember myself pretty much in awe because I liked how the building looked. It's like this smaller version of the Powerplant Mall in Rockwell if you look at it. There was a spa, and a gym... and the place looked so peaceful so it made me kind of comf'table being around. I also like the huge bronze colored statues of Filipino heroes outside. I actually didn't think it would look that classy, looking at it from the outside. Hmm.

One of the best amusement parks I've been to is Chuck'n'Cheese's in Jeddah. I went there with Ann,Ajin,Jays,Ban and Ja. Gawd, I definitely had a BLAST being there. It was one of those impromptu let's-all-drag-our-asses-somewhere moments. We enjoyed playing all the games there (take note: all the tokens were free. And so as the pizza. Can you say "CONNECTIONS"?). We were all acting like deranged little children, riding bump cars, playing daytona and all the other silly games around. But we REALLY had fun. We had so much fun that even if I went home at 1 A.M. on a schoolnight with Pop turning red in anger, it was ALLLL worth it. One of the best nights of my life. Not to mention, riding those friggin bump cars making fun of two arabs who looked much like Marijun and L.K. Don't ask. (snorts)

I remember getting down from the airplane with my eyes all watery. Not because I was sad...because of the heat. And when a good friend of Pop's, Tito Leo drove us to our flat, it was a mixture of excitement and nostalgia. My room was blank. All I had was a white ikea study table, a single sized bed and a small cabinet. I cried myself to sleep that night. Thankfully, I brought a piece of home with me, my brother (my cat) Jason. I remember that night clearly. I still remember the white ceiling, the images carved on it. And I remember my parents sitting on the carpeted hallway, talking. Buying new comforters, cabinets, clothes and abayas were the best part. I also shopped a LOT of bags and accessories on ASHARA stalls in Mahmood Saeed. Which was practically 50 footsteps away. Everything was within reach. There was a mall right in front of us, Mahmood Saeed when you cross the street, Alfao and Shaker grocery store on the right, a strip of clothes and carpet stalls on the left. Life there was never boring. I'd spend summer days laying down in my bed, talking on the phone for hours, watching my favorite movies, eating, watching the sunset... on days I'd invite my friends over we'd be popping popcorn, ordering pizza or chicken from Popeye's, laugh the day away while I'd cuddle with my ex-boyfriend and my Mom not minding. As I would always define it, it's a simple, extravagant lifestyle. And I will always...always miss it.

I owe half of my life to IPSJ. Some might have considered it shitty, but back then it wasn't. (Sigh) Those days that Mom would always have three sets on plans on how to wake me up, and how her last strategy would always work - by kissing me all over my face and then she'd tickle me. I miss those days ( I'm being a baby ). And when Tito Celso would pick me up and take us to school (Carpool), and I'd be late for the Flag Ceremony. The days when I'd wait for Ja by the stairs, and whenever he comes late (which is often), I'd always catch him peeking by the door in the middle of Physics. And how lunch is ALWAYS a favorite period, where most of us would hang-out in the Faculty room, and then to each other's classrooms, and head altogether to the cafeteria. When I'd ask 1 riyal from all my Kuyas. I miss that feeling of hating whenever that period was over. I miss being locked out of Mrs. Felizco's Trigo class. I miss everything about that school. How our bathroom is actually "CO-ED", where we all hang-out, sitting on the floor. Talking, Gossiping. And whenever we'd all feel bored, we'd make a way for the guard to let us out and we all head out to Leslie's. Watch, Cuddle, Eat a lot. My highschool life. It rocks.

My parents LOVE surprising me. They're all about it. Once, my mom told me we were going to fetch a friend of hers at the airport the next day. To my surprise, SHE got in the car. I cried in an instant! One similar incident was when they both showed up IN FRONT of Chi's dorm in Isabel. I then knew how it felt to be a daughter again. You know what I mean.

I never thought I missed Palawan, not until my last visit which was just last year. I paid my old school a visit. Not everything about Palawan was good. I meant my experiences. I just life back then since we had our own house built. And my friends... it's a LONG story.

My Pop and I are close in ways that Mom and I aren't. One word: SPOILING. My Dad is very good at that. He gives me the best gadgets. (snorts) but that's not why I love him. There were so many sacrifices, so many things he did for me. And I'd only know about it because Mummy would tell me. I remember back when he taught accounting in PSU in Palawan, he'd take me to the school's oval and we'd go jog. I miss riding in that red suzuki bike we had. Or whenever he would take me strolling around the park, taking me to bazaars...

I assume you'd think that this is the most drivel entry I've ever posted. But just typing all this... digging all these memories at the back of my brain...I enjoyed every part of it. And most of all, it made that passenger seat ride extra special, trying to stop myself from having a chuckle. Because that would make me look foolish. Not unless I shared all these thoughts with my Uncle while he was driving.