Taking a hitch on a rollercoaster ride.

That's how I feel. Get ready for the mushiest entry of my life.

Sometimes I look at those polaroids Toto Labrador's assistants laid on that table just next to the set where we had our photos taken. I look at myself. Dressed in country-style,with my hair all curly, holding a pooch bag like it was Tinkerbell.

This must be a dream.

Having my face made-up by Effie Go, Barbi Chan teasing me about looking like Medusa after my hair was all twisted, and having Toto Labrador shout "GREAT! GOOD!" everytime I get the pose right... it must be all a dream. i don't even know if I was supposed to be there.

One thing's for sure, though. I AM a part of something big. And as I've always said, the winning part is JUST a bonus. It's the experience that makes me feel so happy for being one of the TEN. Yes, TEN.

I'll tell you guys about the details. I'm still typing it offline back in the dorms.

Saab Magalona may be a sister to Maxene, and a daughter to Francis M. But she's one of the REAL girls that I know. I'm so glad we somehow got the chance to talk and laugh and cuss and tease and spank each other, PLUS camwhore a lot. All we do is, "TARA, PIC!...ay,ayoko nyan, pangit ako diyan..ISA PA!"

Thanks Jing for being the first person I've ever talked to on the shoot. Thanks Sharon for keeping me company after you saw me alone sitting at the couch even if you and Saab were acting all crazy taking pictures of yourselves.

Will post pictures soon.

Please watch Get Spotted on MTV. It's at 4 P.M. I'm such a dum-dum for not asking when's it airing.

And please grab a copy of Seventeen's August Ish.

Thank you, God. You've given me THE best birthday gift of my life. Because I know, whether I win or not... this is leading somewhere GOOD. somewhere BIG. somewhere I've always wanted to be.

TO THE PEOPLE WHO HATED ME - If it weren't for your consistency, I SWEAR this wouldn't have been possible. I know me being a part of this wouldn't change anything, or make you think of me any better. But this time I really won't care. For all we know, it's what got me here in the first place. Ugly or worse, call me whatever you want. It might just get me farther than this. So, kudos to you guys.

AND HOW COULD I FORGET - to all the people who just KEPT pushing and pushing me to get there. Guys. I AM THERE. You know who you are. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!

Andrew - Thank God for you. Thanks for UNDERSTANDING. I love you so much. You will always be my dream that came true.

Yes guys, WE'RE A-OKAY. Whatever that means.