Isha Andaya says we're models.

I remember this one time, during our second shoot, we were at Sara Black's studio and Isha called us models. Sharon was like, "Not yet!", and Isha replied with, "When you're in front of the camera, wearing all these clothes...then you're a model."
Isha is on Preview's latest issue again, by the way. I love Isha!

And so it is. We are models now, aren't we? Sure, we're no Nicollete Bell...or Raya Mananquil but...not everyone gets to be on Seventeen Magazine.


ANYWAYS.

I wrote this super furious entry in my Multiply account. I have all this rage inside me that I couldn't help it. I decided to type it there nalang. Less controversial. I never liked so much attention. Besides, nothing good comes out of it.

I'm just so pissed at particular people that you could only imagine my anger. It's unbelievable the way things are turning out. Our college lives are being ruined. Even if you just sit there, even if you can't hear anything, you can feel something.

It's so pathetic. We're 19 for chrissake, not 14. I wish we could handle things in a more mature way.

AND WHAT IS IT ABOUT BOYS? Can't one girl be satisfied with what she has? Does she have to know all the cute guys in school, steal them and all that crap? Does she have to let every cute guy know she exists? Does she have to flip her hair to get their attention, or approach them or something? Sell them a ticket with a free picture?

I'm not angry. I'm just curious. People can be so nice in front of you. But then for no particular reason you can sense that something's not right. And they deny things. They can't accept the fact that they too, like me have committed a mistake.

Why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to admit that you made a mistake and that you're sorry? We're only humans. As Karl always says, "To err is human".

I did make a mistake. I am fully aware of that. And God knows that I felt sorry. But what I couldn't accept is that I admitted my fault, and you don't admit yours. You make everyone believe that you're the victim.

This is reality. This is US. This is our life. Not a koreanovela.

People can be so mean. People can treat you like you're a nobody. I went through all this for sometime. My Mom always told me not to step down to their level, to ignore them, to let them be since that's where they're happy. They like destroying people. They like to look at all the flaws and point it out to everybody.

My Mom did not bring me to this world to be treated this way. My Mom did not raise me for people to laugh at. I DO NOT DESERVE ALL THE BACKFIGHTING. GOSSIP. LIES. In the first place, YOU tell me FACE TO FACE what I did to you. And then I'll apologize.
But don't hate me for the way I laugh, dress, talk, walk and the friends I have.

People like you do not deserve attention. People like you do not deserve friends. People like you do not deserve the blessings. But God is that good. God is so good that he gives all these to people like you. You have to be thankful. You have to show HIM that you are thankful. DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON OTHER PEOPLE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO DO THAT. God has never looked down on me inspite of all the sins that I've done.

Patawarin ako ng Diyos sa mga sinasabi ko. But I'm just HURT.
Out of nowhere, bad people just pop up and do mean things. Kahit na tahimik lang sila. Nararamdaman mong may mali nang nangyayari.

I'm not just talking about one person. This is IN GENERAL.

College is NOT easy for me. Sure I have Andrew and all my friends. But being apart from my parents is just so hard. I just wish you people didn't make it harder for me.

There are so many issues in my life. And you have no idea. I'm not trying to look like a victim here. I don't always post like this. I'm just so weak right now.

I just wish you people didn't exist.

3 comments:

  1. i feel you girl..

    you cant avoid those people..they're goody-goody in front, but then stabbed you at the back..

    but then, life has to go on.. just dont listen..you only know yourself..

    smile!

    *bloghoppin*

    ReplyDelete
  2. hi... ur'e michelle co's cousin pala! ;) u look alike! she's one of my bestest friends in UP. Gudluck with seventeen!

    ReplyDelete
  3. when people starts backtabbing, gossiping and starts spreading news about u (in a negative connotation) u know that u're UP there and there in below.. jealousy kills people so its a matter of time they're gonna choke themselves.

    For me that same scenerio happens to me all the time, but like a said we cant do anything about it, they're just pathetic little being who wants attention, well of course at first it make me irritated and angry but its not gonna help anything does it? so just dont mind them,

    U know wat pisses them off? Oh jus SMILE and look like u dont give a damn on every word they say, that will creep them and for sure magsasawa din yang mga yan..

    good luck girl on handling those pathetic LOSERS! *wink

    btw do u mind of we exchange links?

    take care

    ReplyDelete