ARE WOMEN CURSED?

Or is it just that it's that time of the month for me so I feel that way or something...?

Is it a curse that we get to experience this pain like, every month for those who have a regular cycle and every two months or so for those with irregular cycles? Should we put the blame on Eve? Is this the karma that we get in return, after a million decades since she gave Adam that darn apple?

Just a thought.

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BUBBA.

I like it, and you can't do anything about it!

Baby, no matter how weird you think this sounds, I am definitely calling you it. And yes, it sounds better than swee'pea. Although I think it sounds cute, too.

AAAAAH! Whatever.

I need ta get a new picture. I really want to be photographed by a professional. Well, studio pictures would be fine but I really don't want it to look...tacky. Like those typical studio pictures. I don't want to be posing like as if I'm submitting my photo to FHM or Women's Magazine or something. I simply want something tasteful and classy. Like a white background, a spotlight, and me on a black dress that can show off my shoulder blades. I wish I had longer hair now.

And I really can't wait to have a picture of myself sunbathing or something. Chiez already has it,taken in Punta Fuego and she looks so damn hot! Honey has it too, and I must say : Honey, you're droolworthy just like that friend of yours, Pepoy.

Bora, to me is still a must-see. Good thing Mum will be providing me some...EHEM cash for my beachwear. Stoked, I'ma come and raid off yer Billabong goodies! That includes a beach towel,a beach bag,boardshorts, a 2-piece swimsuit and whaddyaknow? a nu pair of dem havaianas flips.

I will be going back ta the dorms in...two hours.

Did I mention? I "revised" my Shopping List this June.
I'm definitely PSYCHED! I've abstained from shopping for months now just to save all that energy I'm gonna be needing.

Caloi, I can't wait 'til we finally meet again, munch on some Bread Talk and walk around Greenbelt. Dang.
And no matter how much you hate Strawberry, you're getting me a Haagen Dazs' Strawberry Cheesecake. It'll serve as your birthday gift. Or maybe you could even get me Paris Hilton's Confessions of an Heiress. It's out on Powerbooks now. It'll only cost you a Thousand and fifty-five bucks. What was your last gift to me anyway? A Whopper, you dingy! You know, that whopper-making machine! When we make whopper sandwiches out of clay! I was 5 when you last gave me a gift. haha.

You know that new Fatboy Slim video, "The Joker"? Sho cute! Now there's a proof that lil kitties can act,too.

Okay I'm off! Gotta get that "Abs ala Paris" !

AU REVOIR!

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THE KEY TO HAVING IT ALL.

No, this is not the answer. This is just an opinion.

I was hanging out with my classmates in one of the kubos in front of the JFH building, while John Lloyd and Bea were shooting for another teleserye. I was being myself, acting all silly, trying to sound like Christine from the Phantom of the Opera, when all of a sudden I noticed three cute guys hanging out at the kubo just next ta us. Turns out they were “starlets”, whose faces rather looked quite familiar to me.

It wasn’t ‘til all of my classmates left that I noticed that two of them were checking me out. Even one of them made parinig.

Pare, crush ko na siya!”

Sure it was flattering. These guys appeared to me like they had high standards for a girl. Not that I’m trying to say anything, but…you know what I mean.

When all of the other extras and “starlets” left the kubo, they still stayed there, still checking me out. But when a friend of mine, Honey, mentioned the word BOYFRIEND, their faces went blank. In less than a minute, they left.

Which left me thinking.

No, not that I was sad that they left and didn’t give me time to flirt back with them. I’m not like that.

Girls who have such high standards for boys. Like, she wouldn’t date a guy unless he has a car, unless he’s hot, unless he has a pocket full of notes, unless he’s conyo, unless he hangs out with uber rich people, unless he lives in Rockwell, or owns a condo unit at the Fort, unless ten thousand girls drool over him.

So, what if you’re lucky enough to have a guy with some, or even all of these, you think : Damn, I must have it ALL.

You’re lucky if you find a guy who might seem like he has the whole world to offer to you and treat you just the way you deserve to be treated.
You’re lucky if you find a guy, regardless of his status, just never lets it get to his head and still manages to act like a complete goofball.
You’re lucky if you find a guy with all the money in the world – and not use it on three, five, seven, or who knows even ten women all at the same time. Buying them like they’re his property.
You’re lucky if you find a guy who owns a Ferrari but still manages to ride a jeepney (just in case he really needs to).
You’re lucky if you find a guy who for you, is THE definition of fine, but still knows how to get a littttle out of hand sometimes, just to prove that not all things have to be uber formal or proper.

The list goes on.

Unless I was born as an Ayala, a Lopez, an Araneta, an Elizalde, or a Zobel… that’s when I (also) have the rights to date any of the power elites listed above. What can I say? Power for power, Elite for Elite.

But sometimes, the only thing that makes you feel like having it all is having a rich boyfriend. A boyfriend rich in spirit.

A boyfriend who isn’t as rich as Juan Elizalde, but tries so hard to give you the things that you ask for.
A boyfriend who always acts like a goofball but knows how to play it fine when he needs to.
A boyfriend who almost every other girl drools over but never lets it get to his head, plus the never ending assurance that you’re the only one he sees ( as cheesy as it sounds ).

Can you actually understand what I’m trying to point out here?


But then again, you can’t just really have it all … at the same time. The key to having it all is to simply learn how to be happy with what we have at the moment. And then, we can all just work our way to the top.

That goes for our careers, our relationships, and our lives.
Think about it. It’s how things go, right?

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LIKE I'M SOME KINDA FREAK...

...but you can just kiss my tight ass.

I am actually in a VERY good mood right now. You know that feeling, when you think that the day is going to end up...shitty. And then all of a sudden everything just...turns out... right?

Do you actually see how God works?

Jeez. Nina, you should make that "God works in mysterious ways". Haha. Okay I'm not making sense.

Honey and I have this thing in common, she found out that some lame people hate her. Well Hon...I know you don't want to, but...welcome to the club girl! We should start up a club called "People hate us because we're too fucking beautiful to be in this world".

Okay not that I'm being all smug about it, but what can I say? People hate me for no apparent reason. Here I am blogging about my life, my ideas. And people hate me for it. Oooohhhh.... I'm commiting a crime pala! It's so fucking hilarious.

No. Silly.

It's so fucking silly. Sometimes people make me laugh my ass off.

You know what I love about Paris Hilton? I didn't actually like her at first. I used to hate her like hell. But ever since that sex video came out (which I have seen, btw), she just DIDN'T CARE. So what if she's consistently been in the Worst dressed celebrities list? Or that people think she's stupid, and that all she ever thinks about is Tinkerbell and boys and where she's gonna spend her money on and all that?

I love the way she doesn't give a shit about what other people think.

Anyway... ANDREW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Ohmygawd, what you just did is like...SHO SHWEET! It almost brought me to tears. No, really!

We will be turning...a year and three months on the 24th. We have plans! And I can't wait.

It feels so good that people hate me for having Andrew. God forgive me, but do you know that feeling when people hate you because you have this hot boyfriend who is...loyal, and sweet and makes you feel like the most beautiful girl on earth? They hate me because they're soooo damn jealous and can't get over it! Damn! Now, that's worth feeling good about. Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but people have been bitching about this since we got together and right now I just think of it as...something that brightens up my day.

Okay I'm boasting. Enough, Abbie. You might drive em schupid byotches crazy over envy. Hahaha!

I'm just trynna kick some ass, guys. Ride on!

And to clear things up...I am NOT a Carrie-wannabe. Mygawd. Carrie inspires me to write, and I know I said I'm A Carrie in the making, but that doesn't mean I write like Carrie. That wouldn't be original! HELLO? I do have my "I couldn't help but wonder" wonders but that doesn't mean I'm trying to BE Carrie. Where did you get that idea? And who are you?

There's something about what Andrew did and "Caught Up" playing in the background that lifted my spirits up. Or was it that I had another Passion Iced Tea? hahaha!

I'm not trying to attract any... negative...bad...comments.

Oh, and my Dad asked me if I wanted an iPod mini or the Zen (by Creative). If I was my brand-conscious self I would've went for the mini, no questions asked. But when I googled Zen up, it was one helluva mp3 player. Not that it only stores mp3s, but Videos, Pictures, it can even serve as a hard disk for your PC. Now that's my kinda gadget.


FOR KUYA ALLAN...

Kuya Allan was one of the "MPR BOYS". He would usually tease me by saying, "Abbie pa-text", while he has either a pencil, a screwdriver or a hook on his left hand, which, according to him will serve as my p900's stylus. Haha.

Kuya Allan who would always be there when we need him.
Kuya Allan who would brighten up your day.
Kuya Allan who knew everything about the "technical stuff".
Kuya Allan who was always pa-cute.

The last time I saw Kuya Allan, he teased me about my fone, and I stuck my tongue out, and that was it.

Not more than 2 days later, Kuya Allan died of a gunshot in the liver. Sir Valerio announced it in our Media Ethics class. I think I almost dropped my Starbucks Commuter Mug when I heard about it. I was shaking. It was unexpected. Deaths ARE always unexpected.

I just couldn't believe it.

From what I've heard, he was having his car fixed, and it was 2 in the morning. He stopped by Burger Machine, which at the time was being held up, and just as he was about to get his phone from his pocket, BANG! He was shot in the liver. And the bullet made it's way out...

He didn't even make it to the hospital.

At times I found myself wanting to cry. I know Kuya Allan and I aren't close. But knowing a person like him, as someone who's been good to you. It's hard not to.

I've been praying for justice.

To Kuya Allan, thank you.

Rest, Kuya Allan. Although...you will surely be missed.

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TAKE ME (BACK) TO MY VIRGINITY!

Before you even think of what this means...

Nah. It's not what you think, unfortunately. (wha'??) Anyway...I was just thinking about my childhood. The days when nothing really mattered but what I was gonna have for breakfast, and when I was gonna have my new Barbie shipped from Manila.

When what I feared the most was my Dad scolding me for getting a really low grade in Math. And when all that made me happy was eating ice cream late at night while my parents and I watch a movie right after we close our video shop.

..when The Wonder Years was my all-time favorite tv show.

If only things were that simple now that I'm 18.

As we grow older, things get a lot more complicated.

What matters? If a week has passed and my boyfriend and I didn't have a single fight. What I fear the most is getting stalked. What makes me happy? To do what I've always dreamed of - to be a model.

..and now,I wouldn't even want to miss reruns of Sex and the City.

It's just a random thought.

Aah. Those virgin days. Sometimes I find myself thinking of how bad I want them back.

Call me crazy, but only if we could escape from our lives for a week...*sigh*

Don't get me wrong, I love being independent and all. But sometimes I think way too much, and my brain turns into this...busy street. So busy that I couldn't even hear myself anymore.

Just the horns.

I bet you don't understand a word I'm saying.

I'm in my nomadic state of mind again...anyways.

I'll be going back to the dorms tomorrow. I'm praying that I won't have any new dorm mates this summer. I'd like to have the dorm all to myself. Talk about wanting A LOT of privacy. And besides, I really am not in the mood of socializing. I don't want any more adjustments. Grr. And I'm gonna be doing a LOT of cleaning, too.

I'm psyched. It makes me feel so grown up.

See the irony of this post?

Oh, and...Happy 19th Birthday, Ban!

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T.G.I.S.D.

Thank God It's Starbucks Day. Again.

Everyday is Starbucks Day. Ha ha!

And I finally bought another Starbucks Commuter Mug. Mmmhmm! I treated my Lola to Starbucks today, too. People behind the counter were like teasing me, "Bait, bait! "

I'd like to work at Starbucks one day, just for fun.

Okay, aside from being thankful that I've spent another day sipping on another Venti-sized Passion Iced Tea (now with Raspberry Syrup - finally), there are other things I am thankful for.

I'm thankful to the people behind PUBLICO, the USC's official magazine for putting my picture from the Fashion Expo on their issue. Okay, it might not sound like a big deal to any of you, but from the many, many models whose pictures they could include, I'm just so lucky to be one of them.

It's Ban-ban's birthday tomorrow. That lucky bastard is spending his summer in Jeddah. Munching on a lot of Al-Baik and Al tazaj with lotsa lotsa garlic sauce. Damn.

I lurve this line from Do Somethin'!

"...Now you all in my grill
Cause I say what I feel
Only rock to what’s real
..."

Haha. Talk about feeling like this line was written just for you.

I can't wait 'til Summer Classes start.

Hey, that's next week. Ha ha! Ohwell. I like to feel that sense of being independent again. Hmm. And not to mention I miss having Burger King EVERYDAY!

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WHY IS IT CALLED HOLDING ON?

When in a relationship, the words “I’m holding on to you forever” is turned into a cliché.

When we found that one person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, we take all sorts of risks to keep them. And sometimes, even if you’re in the brink of letting go, you hear that little voice give you a little bit of encouragement and then you think : Okay, I’m holding on.

Because it’s worth holding on to.

And for people who eventually have been let go (I have once been that person), we say, “I still want to hold on”. Maybe because of the simple hope that one day, while we hold on to their shoes while we’re at the edge of the cliff, they would see us – and decide to take us back.

Or, they can make us see the cold reality. They let us slip from holding on to their shoes, and let us die. They let us fall off from the cliff. Not knowing, that it would not just kill us emotionally, but that we may never be able to get up again.

And worse, Love again.

Some of us are just lucky to be able to get up. Lucky to make it up again. Lucky to find someone again. Lucky to love again.
And maybe, find us the right ones.

But for some, why are the right ones, the ones who turn out to break their hearts?

And now, my first official wonder;

I couldn’t help but wonder…When did finding the right one become wrong?

You’ll just never know. Unless you end up in church, would you?

But then are we willing to risk that much, to put all our emotions at stake when we know that one day this might not just work? That one day we might just end up alone, and one day we’d be back in the market, looking for another buyer? And that the process just might never end?

Until the right one comes?

When is that gonna happen? Aren’t we all afraid to end up alone, but at the same time, aren’t we all so afraid of getting hurt over and over and over?

Love. Jeez.


THE “ME” PART OF THE STORY.

Anyways. It’s been a while since I talked about my life, and what’s been going on with me lately. So here, the juicy details.

Brace yourselves… DUH. Like my life has been anything but stirring.

March 28.
It was classcard distribution, and the only thing so substandard was my grade in Photojournalism grade which was a 1.75. That was the only grade I had that started with a ONE. My mission was to have at least a 2 for my lowest this sem.

But it was my fault anyway. I had a number of absences, I didn’t pass some of my assignments, I missed a quiz and didn’t pass the final major assignment. I still consider myself to be lucky I got a 1.75, not a 1.00. Because that would definitely…destroy my buzz.

After the classcard distribution I had to wait for my cousin, Chi at Nebo for more than 2 hours ( I din’t have any choic…I “fixed” my blog – didn’t turn out exactly the way I wanted but I’m pretty much pleased. Anyway), we headed ta ATC, and Lance inadvertently got on the same van we were in.

We checked out for Havaianas, unfortunately there were none, but we bumped into BILLABONG, and I was dying to get me this Billabong beach bag, and I also loved their swimsuits! I am SO gonna get myself one before we head ta Bora this May. I cannot not go without new swimwear! And a suntan lotion, and a beach bag, and new Havaianas.

Afterwards we headed ta Powerbooks where I promised myself that I would buy this book, THE FASHIONISTA FILES. I don’t understand how they cannot have Paris Hilton’s “Confessions of an Heiress”. Grr. Chi so wanted a copy of the sixth Harry Potter book so she decided to have one reserved. She had ta pay 500 bucks for it. Hmm. I bet it really is worth it for her. Because she is one helluva Harry Potter fan.
Our next stop was Burger King because we were craving for it for like forever, and then we watched Miss Congeniality 2. Cool movie. It was okay. Sandra Bullock was hilarious, as usual. And heartbroken. Watch it.

After the movie we checked out Olympic World because I have to canvass for my stuff. The Yoga Mat, A top and shorts that I needed for working out. I’ve also been thinking about getting a sweater, a turban and some socks. For Jogging. Ha ha.

Lately I’ve just been religiously working out. C’mon, it’s summer! The only time of the year we get to be permitted to show a little skin off the beach. I guess it was a slap in the face when I saw Jennifer Lopez’s body. And Andrew has been helping me with it.


March 30.
I enrolled for Summer Class, but we had to claim the registration forms at 4 PM, and it was like, 11! So we decided to go back tomorrow.

Which was pretty much good news for me, ‘coz I get to see Andrew. Teehee. I called him in a jiffy and told him about it. Yay!

Afterwards we rode in Anton’s car (thanks for tha ride!), and he dropped me off at ATC’s terminal.

As I got down I headed straight ta The Body Shop were I canvassed (finally) a concealer and a loose powder. I checked out Beauty Bar to see if Philosophy had a loose powder but out of stock na daw (bummer) so I went ta get some notes and bought the ones I saw at The Body Shop.
And then I headed back ta Olympic World to see if there were any good sweaters being sold, turns out there were none. And this guy kept bugging me about my name, and just to shut him up, I decided to tell him, and when he asked me if I was with my boyfriend I just said “Yes!” ha ha.

Ew. I mean, I’ve been getting like, HI’s and stares from MEN.

So odd.

I hurried ta Starbucks because I was excited to find out if LEMON PASSION ICED TEA made a comeback and… IT DID! WOOHOO! That was the highlight of the day! The last time I drank one was last summer, when Andrew and I would like, spend our afternoons at ATC almost everyday. And whenever we entered Starbucks, they didn’t need ta ask us what our orders and names were. It’s like, when I enter, they’re like, “Hi Abbie! Lemon Passion Iced Tea and Ensaymada?”
I just smile.
So there I was today waiting for my Uncle to pick me up, and I was happily sipping my Venti sized, Lemon Passion Iced Tea, and it’s a type of scene that would happen repetitively for the rest of the summer. Mmm. I can still taste it. I can’t believe it only costs like, 90 pesos for Venti… Maybe because there wasn’t any Raspberry Syrup in it. But ohwell, it still pleased me.

It’s that type of drink you’d like to have before making out.

Oh my. Too much information? Ha ha.

March 31.
This is one heck of a day. I was supposed to get up at 5 AM so that I could work-out before going to school but then I was tooooo lazy to get up so I kept changing the alarm time. Ha ha.

I got to school at 8 AM, and hurriedly rushed to see my Andrew. In a way, I got to spend time with a part of his family. His cousins and brother. There's just something about them that makes me feel so at ease, that I don't have to play a part of the sweet girlfriend or something. It's like, I can be what I am in front of them and they'd still like me, especially his Mom, my Tita Dinah. The warm company that she gives...

Andrew really showed me that he missed me, he kept giving me kisses in public, and even with his family around. HE IS SO SWEET.

After finally getting my reg form, we met up at the canteen where they had lunch and I insisted not to since Chi and I will be meeting up at Festival (for a change!), and then they gave me a lift. All of them, they all were so humble. They're not like those typical families, where the Mom raises her eyebrows on you and give you a better look, or where their cousins and brothers don't mind you at all and give you this vibe... They act...just the way they are. No pretentions. No censorship. And that's what I loved about them most.

Andrew even texted me once, that I should've gone there with him...because it's a picture of the whole "family"...and that he already considers me to be part of it. Because I was his future wife.

Wife. Could you believe that? I'm too scared to fall for those words again but...this is just too good not to have faith in. And I trust him. I trust him, and I believe in what he says.

It's so rare to find a great guy who has a great family behind him. And not to mention, VERY supportive as well.

I guess...or rather, I believe. I'm on the right track.

I love you, Andrew. So much.

They dropped me off at Alabang's terminal, where we both didn't mind to kiss before I got down... and not more than an hour later, we were texting each other "I miss you" again.

Chi and I met up at Festi, where I had two Lemon Passion Iced Teas again. We watched Be Cool (one kick-ass movie), and had dinner at Ssbarro.

We were acting like complete idiots today. Laughing around like 12 year old girls who didn't really care. I guess I really am just more confident about myself now. I don't care if I make silly faces and laugh my ass off in public.

I'm having fun, who cares? And besides, I haven't really done anything that annoyed people - YET.

Whhooooo. I'm buying myself another Starbucks tumbler, this time it's not that BIG silver one.

I miss Andrew. I'm looking forward to Summer Class.

My cousin is an airhead. Well that goes for both of us.

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