Same old, same old.

It's a phrase I always say when people ask me how I'm doing, or what's up or something.

Because that's the truth, y'know. There's nothing new with my life. Still the same crap.

But it's okay. I'm trying to go through it. Trying my VERY best. I want to go against the flow. Because when things keep happening, especially the same ones, over and over? It can get sickening.

I've thought about a lot of things. There are some things you can't change, but there are some things you HAVE to change. Break the rules. Get hurt. Let go.
It can hurt. But it can also change you.

PLUS - You get to fight your way against the flow. And you're leading...living a new life.

But I guess I don't want that YET. We'll see. God knows what he's doing.

By the way, we will be having an interview at ABS-CBN this Friday for the OJT. Yowza! Wish us luck. I just hope I get assigned at F. Would really LOVE that.

Oh, and I rode the MRT yesterday.
Fact: Abbie loves MRT rides!

Will have "A piece of my brain - and self" part two soon. Wait for that.

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When them tootsies don't hit the ground.

Today...I flew. For the first time. And it was fun.

Okay, I'll cut the crap. What can I say? SUPER... nakakapagod talaga. Okay, so...the other day, Upper and I slept at like, 4 A.M. because we decided to CLEAN the dorm. Like, we have a choice. The mess was unlivable. So yeah. She woke up at 6, I woke up at 6:30 which explains all the eyebags and...well...the messiness.
Everybody's been looking at me like I'm a freak or something. Like, I could read their thoughts.

Girl 1 : Oh my God, she SO needs to brush her hair.
Girl 2 : And she gets to be on a magazine? Oh puhlease.
Girl 3 : She is so like...not deserving!
Girl 4 : Hello, eyebags!
Girl 5 : I'm prettier. Right?
All : Totally!

Or am I just paranoid? What's new about that?

So, as you all know...Today was Essy's birthday. Sadly, Saab and Cham weren't able to go. :( I miss those girls.

The day wasn't so ordinary. I had to wake up at 6 to meet up with Franco to lend my Vidcam and Tripod 'coz they were going to shoot for our documentary.

After I got back to the dorm, I went back to sleep.

And then I woke up, ate...gathered all the stuff I needed.

We had to commute to Laguna before hitting ATC to meet up with Camz.

We were running late, and as we got to ATC, we FLEW!
So just like I said, Camz gave me a ride. (THANKS SO MUCH, CAMZ!) We were supposed to go with her Dad, but instead, her boyfriend Dustin took us. When we got to the debut, I sat right next to Shar. (Shar, I REAAALLLY...LOVE LOVE LOVE your skirt!) Then Sharon came. I was so nervous! What was I supposed to say? Eek! Good thing I got it over with. Sharon, Camz and I were like holding hands afterwards as we walked to put the candle on the...thing.

Yeah, so Sharon was REALLY nice. I mean, she made Andrew feel really comfortable with everything. I really appreciate what she did. I mean, she didn't make it so difficult for Andrew to be at ease. You know, to just be himself. I liked that. Thanks a lot Sharon. You TOTALLY rock. I love you.

I saw a couple of celebs there. Like this HOT guy I couldn't stop staring at. Yes, Andrew could see me and he'd just hit me in the head and I'd end up laughing. And Julie Lee. Back in high school they'd say I looked like her. I didn't really agree with that. But let me tell you this. She looks HOTTER in person. Nice.

So right now, Andrew's in our room, he's startin' 'ta fall asleep, my cousin Maro IS asleep, and Louie's on PS2. Yeah. Like it's not a normal sight.

So there.

Saab I miss you. Sharon and I took a picture of ourselves frowning. And I was going to send it to you but...my phone. Damn. You know about my phone.

I gotta go now. Get ready to hit the sack. Goodnight y'all. Will upload pictures in my multiply account soon.

P.S.
Happy 20th monthsary, Bub. I love you so freakin' much. You're such a great guy, I could marry you right now.

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Ay, siya ba yung sa Seventeen?

Yan ba? Yuck! Di naman ah. Tapos pa pose-pose pa siya ng ganto.

SO CLICHÉ.

Oh. I REALLY wanna fix my multiply account. It's been SO long since I updated. There's like...a lot of fixing that has to be done there.

Tomorrow, my Uncle can't drop me off at Essy's, but Camille agreed that I tag along with her (Thank God for Camz). Andrew will be coming with me too. Yay.

So... yay.

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Life is thorowwing a par-tay...

..but I'm not on the guest list.

So, is that all there is to it?

I know. It's totally...

This is probably the nth time you're scratching your head, reading this entry.

But then...yes, that's all there is to it. I guess I just hafta be thankful.

Well...I am.

But...

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Pancakes, Oatmeal Cookies and Movies.

At 2 A.M., while having a daily dose of my SATC ep's, I suddenly had the craving for pancakes. And my dorm mate, Upper craved for Oatmeal cookies (that explains the title). So, to satisfy ourselves we ate what we could find in the fridge. Butter Cookes and Chewy Choclit Chips. I don't know about Upper, but I definitely was NOT satisfied by imagining I was at Pancake House while chewing on Choclit Chip Cookies. Damn.

Anyways, last night my good friend Tom showed me (in his iMac, may I add, which distracted me from watching) the trailer of Memoirs of a Geisha. If it wasn't for Tom, by the way I wouldn't be able to read it since it was his book I borrowed.

The trailer blew me away. REALLY. I CANNOT wait to watch it. The first time I heard about it was last month, when Sir Valerio told me about it and said that Ziyi Zhang was playing Hatsumomo. My bad! Good thing though, she's playing Sayuri. and Michelle Yeoh will be Mameha. The cinematography was... God, I can't explain it. You'll just hafta see it yourself.

Speaking of movies, have you seen The Da Vinci Code's trailer already? YOU SHOULD. And you SHOULD watch out for The Exorcism of Emily Rose as well, because...just thinking about the trailer makes me...shiver. I am currently checking out Sony Pictures' website. I did this too on the Amytiville Horror. Yikes.

Is it obvious that I have nothing else good to say? Yeah. Well...

I found out that Emily Rose was a 19 year-old girl who got possessed IN her DORMITORY.

I think that alone is an obvious fact that I will be disturbed after watching this movie.

Okay. Enough gobbledygook. Watch out for The Da Vinci Code on May 19, 2006.
Yowza!

I said enough.

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I want my mommmmmmy!

These days I feel like wanting to go back to my childhood. I f*cking wish it was easy.

When I was about 6, I remember what my worries were. As far as I remember, they were... math, barbies, monsters under my bed... and bullies. Thinking about it back then, it felt like I was going through so much as a child. But then thinking about it now... makes me wish I was 6 again.

Looking at myself in the mirror last night...in my underwear,all drenched, my mascara running down my cheeks, my mind wandering off to the land opposite Peter Pan's...might have fooled you. Sure, I'm old. I'm 19. You might think that being 19 and all should make you...mature and strong enough to go through such a phase in life. You might think, "It's normal" and that I should know better.

But then, at the end of the day... I'm just a girl. Better yet, I'm just human.
(Not that I'm degrading myself using the word "just". But you know what I mean.)

Some people, even our parents expect so much from us. Like... I don't know. But they just expect you to...understand EVERYthing.

Sure, I'm 19. I should be "old" enough. But no. I don't think what I've learned from all the sh*t I've gone through is ENOUGH to make me BE in THIS world RIGHT NOW. I mean, I guess I was blindfolded all these years, and eventually God just took them off. I just wish he didn't. I wish I still believed that the world is full of rainbows and butterflies and flowers. And that the only thing that can hurt me is the boogeyman.

There are times in your life when you want to feel ALIVE. Like, riding a rollercoaster or something. But I guess the times that I feel most alive, is when life embraces me with it's cold, cold arms.

I don't know. Worrying about the boogeyman can get freaky. But these problems are definitely not JUST a pain in the tush.

I just wish these problems could all go away just by tugging my Mom's skirt. Like I used to when I was 6. Mommy can make it all go away.

I wish I knew all this then. Things would've been different.

But then again...

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SAY IT TO MY FACE!

Because it's better that way.

I hate it when it's SO obvious that people are talking about you. It's like, I wanna go up to them and just ask them...

"MAY FRABLEM KA? ANO? SABIHIN MO!"

Yes, with the intention of sounding like Saab.

I find it SO annoying when people do that! What's so funny? What made you smirk? What made you look at me from head to foot?

ARGH!

I know my entries have been (mostly) rants from experiences like these... but I can't help it. It's really irritating.

ANYWAYS- Another thing you should say to my face A.S.A.P. ...

Essy's debut will be on the 24th. Hollywood's the theme, beybeh! Saab and I have been texting on what to wear, who to be? It seems that we're both clueless, but I really want to go as Paris Hilton. REALLY.

That would be cool, right? I mean...PARIS HILTON!

Anyway, I really need your help on this, guys. TAG or WRITE A COMMENT! I'd like to know what you guys think!! Who should it be???

TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME! I can't wait to hear your suggestions. I wish Mike were reading this, I'd really like to know what he thinks too. (LOL)

So yeah. That's about it.

I'm one boring human being. If you even consider me as one.

4 comments:

Click click click on the freakin' refresh icon!

I wish it was that easy to do.

Sometimes, you find yourself at a phase in life where you want things not to turn out the way you expected. Days like, you wished something BETTER would happen in the middle of all the chaos happening. Like, impromptu road trips and sleep-outs.
Like, wishing that predicting that the day will end with another fight didn't come true.

Or just that things wouldn't go in the exact same order.

Oh c'mon. It's not as easy as you think.

Jeez. These are the days when you wished you were Bill Gates' long lost daughter or something.

I wanna fly off to France.

Whatever.

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WHATTTTTA WEEEEEEEK!

NO WORDS could explain how this past week has been for me. Lemme give you a brief summary of how it's been. I'ma include Saturday and Sunday din para masaya.

SATURDAY:

Na-higad ako sa kubo sa tapat ng OSH. Sa apat na taon ko sa La Salle ngayon ko lang na-experience. And you know what I think? Hindi ka tunay na Lasalyano unless you experience it! LOL.

SUNDAY:

I met up with a friend of Mum's to get the stuff she sent me at ATC. After that, we headed to Food choices, went up ta Timezone, and while we were waiting for our turn to play Tekken 5, we decided to play Table Soccer muna ( I suck at it, I swear ). Then we played Tekken....for the first time, Andrew kicked my ass! I lost!...then I felt depressed. AND THEN I noticed the package was missing. When we asked about it, pinadala na daw sa security kase they thought it was a bomb! One of the people at Timezone even said they had plans of closing Timezone kase akala nila may Bomb Threat daw! I was really pissed, we had to go all the way to the Security HQ (take note, we had to ride the L300, along with the dog! Yeah! The Belgian, sniffing, guard dog! Whatever they call it!), they wrote everything down, from the contents of the package, my name, my address...yada yada. I was uber pissed talaga, but later on, I found it funny. It is, if you think of it.

MONDAY, TUESDAY were okay. They were normal days, thank God.

WEDNESDAY:


I had to change 4 times to totally "feel" what I was wearing. I hated walking down Lake Avenue not being comfortable in my outfit.

THURSDAY:

THE most TIRING day of my life! I felt like a student again. I kinda like it.
I slept at 1 A.M. watching Imelda, woke up at 6:45, typed my Docu-field assignment,got ready,ran to the nearest net shop, researched for my Chem report,had everything printed (including our thesis paper), ran to the canteen to have breakfast with Andrew, and ran back to ERH for Chem. Afterwards, I took my special exam in Educational Broadcasting...which I would rather not talk about.

FRIDAY:

Hmm. So not in the mood today. I didn't sleep well, and I feel so....grumpy. My phone is busted. It can't text for some reason. It sucks. BLEAK. I want a new phone! Upgrade, upgrade!!! I-mate! P910i! (LOL)

Okay. So...there isn't much to share. I just wanna lie down and doze off and wake-up next Monday. How I wish!

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September issue OUT!

Just passed by to say that.

The photo is cool by the way, except for the fact that my "curves" got lost. I don't know where it went but it's okay. Beb says it's alright, anyway.

Nah, I like to call him BUBBA. Or bub. Heehee. Okay I'll call him Bubba instead of Beb.

Whatever. I'm talking gobbledygook again!

We're just waiting for... the time. Ugh, we hafta leave at 5:15 to play Tekken 5. We're at SM Dasmariñas right now. The heck. It's the nearest mall we could go to.

Ohwell.

Grab a copy, people! And hate the picture!

Kidding. I love it. Teehee.

Andrew says:
(He does the bunny face while thinking...)
HELLO.

What a bore.

Okay. Gots to go!

Grab a copy, people! (LOL!)

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