BEACH FEVER...tenenen!

Jeez. I know I've always wanted to live in the beach but I guess too much of it can lead you getting...sick.

I was sick last night, but I think I will be again.

So let me summarize this...

Two days ago, my friends and I headed to The Land of El Cheapo, a.k.a. Puerto Galera. It's the best (well not really) place to spend three days of freedom from... the world.

Before that I stopped by the Town to grab some stuff....Havies (it was a tough decision as always on which one to get)...Topshop undies,Aviator shades,a new swimsuit and a dress...and I felt like I was so ready to go.

So we did spend three days and two nights having fun (kahit sobrang bitin), I got home at 6 today and at 12 (which is an hour away, by the way...oh cool they rhyme), I will be dragging my ass to Pangasinan with my cousins. We MIGHT go to the Hundred Islands in the morning.

I can't believe summer classes will be THIS soon. Well at least I'm seeing Bub and my friends again. But I haven't gotten enough of...bumming. Ugh.

People have been texting me out of nowhere! But who really surprised me was Beau Canlas. I was lying in bed in the room we rented (which was really nice for the price we paid...)and he was like, "What it do baby?, this is not a mistext." It cracked me up big time. To think that I was sick at that time he texted...I fell asleep. Sorry Beau. :-(

I saw Camoi of Pinoy Stories there, she seems like a really cool girl. I texted Chucky and he told me to talk to her. I was too shy.

Oh well.
Finally the WiFi has been installed. Yay.

Freakin' Sandmite bites. I always get these when I head to the beach.
At least I got a tan. HAH!

Will upload pictures in Multiply soon as Multiply gets....fixed. Or something. Ayaw kase mag-upload eh. Laging error on page. Grr.

I'm so sleeeeepy.

Peeps, thanks for being my partner. Haha. Love you.

One Tree Hill has been playing in the DVD player over and over. I mean, I do love The O.C. (Oh, Seth Cohen! Oh, Baby! lol! Season 3 SUCKS big time, though. Yeah. Sadly.) But I think One Tree has more....substance. Plus it just keeps getting better and better.

I can't wait to get back to the beach.
But I guess sleep comes before that.


"Ah, siya yung may boyfriend na gwapo!"

Silly that people always say that about me. It's like the first time they see me or a photo of me they'd blurt that out. And I don't even know if its a good thing. For Andrew, it surely is.

They would even say that I don't deserve him, and that I was too ugly for him!
I have sources who actually really heard a few AB COMM students say that about me!

PLUS there's more to it than him being that. He's...Andrew. And I love him. But they probably shouldn't know everything about him. That's the advantage that I have, right?

Sometimes I wish he wasn't so hot.

No, wait.

I wish I was as hot as he is. I mean, AM.



P.S. If YOU'RE going to say something bad about me (because of this entry) I say you shove it up your hairy ass.
This is simply a figure of speech. And if you're a bonehead to not get that, then I should just let you go with your...bitching. Hah!


I will invade the world of Havaianas tomorrow. Let's drink to that.


One sappy, confusing entry coming up!

"Love makes virgins of us all and gives us wings"
- Elvin Valerio

This wise man has shared so much to me and has taught me a lot without pushing too hard to stuff all the words in my head. He just does that. Its part of his magic. Its actually weird because its a side of Chucky I haven't seen before. And you know what, he's actuallyr right. He's right about a lot of things.

Love can do that though. It transforms us into something else. Something bigger. Something greater. Something better. Its just so ironic how it can bring us down. Tear us apart. Make us go crazy.

Sometimes I wish it was easier to forget all the bad things and just think about the good ones. I wish love did that too. I wish it could overcome all the shit.

But in reality, there are times when its not enough. Then all the other factors come to mind.
Okay maybe you're going to go all "No you're wrong" on me, but unless you haven't seen the bad side of it all, then you don't know what I'm talking about. Its hard to admit but even love has... a bad side.

I always thought Weddings were great. Weddings were easy. Weddings... are actually scary. Unless you're dead sure about a certain person... that's when... they become easier. That's when you know you're really ready to deal with all the scary stuff about that person...about your lives...about Love.

"Love is easy".

No. It's not. It never is. There is always something there to complicate things.
I believe that...the greatest love is...when people don't really understand what's going on except for the two people in love with each other.

In the movie Brokeback Mountain, Annis and Jack loved each other so much. And I know this should be a gender issue but actually its not. Love sees past through these things. And its amazing how two people can fight for that feeling. But that could only be possible if... you let love take over.

Let love take over everything. Every part, every vein, every bone, every cell of your body. And then...that's when things would get easy.

Do you actually get what I'm trying to say? Don't hold it back. Never hold it back. You're going to the wrong direction if you do.
Let them in. Let them in.

And then maybe...just maybe... Love could really show you the greatest things in life.
Just make sure they're doing the same thing too.

Don't be stupid enough to go on a one way street. Love can make you do that. Either you're aware of it or stupid enough to ignore it.
The manual doesn't include being a martyr to be happy.

This is sappy.
Jeez. I can't believe watching One Tree Hill over and over can do this to you.

HAHA!... but hey, I actually meant all of that.

It feels great to be in love just... don't be stupid.
I should start reading a lot of poetry starting tomorrow.
Hmm...Add that on my must-must list.

This is so sappy, I didn't even know if I made sense. But someone taught me how to stand by my words. And I am.

I'm so thankful to know a lot of people who has taught me a lot. Well yes, they can end up hurting you...but as that cliche goes... what doesn't kill only makes you stronger.

Life can suck..but it will go on, believe it or not. As much as we think the world will end for us.
God gives us a lot of people to lean on. And of course God himself will always be there. And of course...he's that one person we should let in...fully.

And...don't leave people behind.
Because once they let you in...

..they give it all.

So...some people hate drama. But does a lot of drama. (No, I'm not talking about YOU. LOL! I bet you don't even read my blog...Hmm. What have I been really up to?

Since my Aunt got home from Japan yesterday, bearing gifts and one of them for her son, my cousin Louie...a white PSP...which will eventually be MINE! HAH! Once my Dad sends me the black one, Louie and I are going to trade CAUSE... White's definitely MY color! Yes it is! Have you seen my closet? we went to Alabang. (wherelse would we go? LOL.)
We went to buy groceries, apply for the Smart WiFi connection, had dinner.

I bought a lotta food for that Galera trip. Okay, so you might say it's JUST Galera, which is El Cheapo (I quote Tata Mapa for that), but I can brag about it because I'm spending three days with my friends. And nothing beats being on the beach with my friends. Besides, do you know how crazy my friends are?

I love Summer. I really do. There goes the excuse to go out in board shorts and Flips, no make-up... its a perfect opportunity to pull of a Kirsten Dunst inspired ensemble. I love it when I'm all in my low-maintenance self. And getting a tan! OMG, nothing beats that! Are there any tanning rituals you wanna share though? I'd LOVE to get that rosy tan. HELP!

I'd love to go back to Boracay. I could actually live there. But I also wish I could go back to Palawan and find a way to sneak to Amanpulo (Heehee). I miss living in Palawan too. Life was so simple. Just like it was in Jeddah.

I remember when I'd watch the sunset from my window. I'd like in bed with really loud emo music blasting from the speakers, my room in its most orangy snuggling up, the airconditioning giving out this scent that I will never forget... I loved it. I'd love to go back to those days.

I sure do miss my parents. I miss sleeping on the phone with Choel on the other line. I miss sneaking to call Ja at midnight. I miss it when his computer hangs while we chat. I miss Ayah. I miss hanging out at their house which is actually considered as my second home. I miss all the arabic signs...People in black and white. People of different cultures...the malls, even.

There are a lot of things I miss...

Good thing though I still have my sisters here, Ayah and Maya. We were planning on hanging out on Monday. Its actually tradition that whenever we say hang-out, up in Makati...Glorietta, most of the time. Hang-out in Greenbelt. Get in the car, drive to her condo...or go someplace...and we watch TV, surf the net and talk about stuff until we all fall asleep. And the next day...there's a lot of good food. I LOVE THE STUFF TITA COOKS. I'm craving for it!

Gee, I talk too much.
I'm gonna end this gobbledygook.

But you know what? I'm glad that there's ONE person who really seems to be listening.
So thanks to YOU.

And to all of you, of course. Whether you hate me or whatever.
I love you guys for reading this.
Hang in there. I'll find something great to write. It will come.

Don't hold your breath though.



Jeez. Can people be any more complicated....?

Anyways, I've been spending this summer very wisely, I might say.

Let's see...I have:

...been laughing the day away with my cousins who happen to be airheads.
...munching on almost everything I see on the dining table.
...sleeping afterwards. actually sleeping the day away.
...watching random episodes of One Tree Hill.
...texting Tabs the whole day.
...watching my favorite high school movies.
...been wanting to upload photos in my Multiply account. Grr.
...mostly been watching the National Geographic.
...been craving on McDonald's.

See? Now tell me this isn't one helluva great summer I'm having.

Summer classes starts on April 3. Oh. Great.
Let's drink to that.




This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there’s just one left
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

On my knees, I’ll ask
Last chance for one last dance
‘Cause with you, I’d withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I’d give it all
I’d give for us
Give anything but I won’t give up
‘Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you’ll be with me
and you’ll never go
Stop breathing if
I don’t see you anymore

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
‘Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
‘Cause I’m not leaving
Hold on to me and
never let me go

Snaps to LJ.
Thanks for letting me hear this.

This goes out to YOU.
YOU don't know who you are.
As much as I'd love to let you know.


Stop being a man, will you?

Isn't it weird that sometimes we all hate it when men tend to become too... masculine?

I hate it when there's an overflow of testosterone going on.

Jeez, definitely. Sometimes I wish I had balls to shove my foot up their a**es or elsewhere. Just to shut them up, make them stay in one place and just whine - like us girls. LOL.

Well its better than acting like the Incredible Hulk or something, throwing everything everywhere, breaking things. And causing all that noise.
Did you know that I find my ears the most sensitive part of my body? Geesh.

What if I'm the one he throws? Haha.
Wait, that's not even funny.

I wish I could punch you too. So you'll see that you're not the only man in the room.
Okay I didn't mean that.

I wish Seth Cohen was real. Or Clark Kent.

Blah. I wish I knew better.


You're right, maybe not.

Okay so it could be a mistake. Maybe she's not the one.


It's not like it's a big deal. So I might have made a mistake. I thought about it too. It's not nice blaming someone just because there's an e-mail address left there.

So, I'd like to make a public apology to Lourdes. But that wouldn't stop me from thinking.

What the hell, what's there to think about anyway? :-)

PEOPLE.... let's not waste our time.
It would sure feel great to find out who DEVIL is but... what for?

This girl/guy/gay/lesbian doesn't even know who I really am. Yet she pretends to, and be all smug about it.
How can someone you don't know call you such things, when people who really know all the bad things about you don't say things like these?

WHY DO THEY DESERVE THE ATTENTION? Right? They don't. They don't even deserve my cussing. And I'm not supposed to cuss!

Jeez. People nowadays.

Okay, stop laughing Devil! I don't care who you are. LOL.

OLSHSHMULSCH! Its so boring! All I ever want to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. But there are lots of things to think of. But I'm too lazy. Which makes me feel bored. Its weird no? But I'm like that. Lazybone.

Lately I've been lying in bed watching Gian's LOVERS IN PARIS vcd's, or going through my In Style and Teen Vogue back issues over and over. I've been scooping out magazines the entire week, enough for me to say that my Magazine fever is back. I grabbed all March issues of Preview, Seventeen, Mega and Cosmopolitan faster than you can say "AJA!"

By the way, I must give snaps to Gian for making me accept at least one Koreanovela to like, which is L.I.P. Its hilarious, I loved it. All the songs playing in my head are now in Korean.

Last night, Bub and I spent some time with Basil, Kelvina, LJ, Allen and Kaygee. PLUS BrianMitch. I thought of putting their names together. They're so cute.
We watched Date Movie before heading to Brian's, Andrew and I thought it sucked. He keeps forcing me to watch V for Vendetta this week. But I have a shoot for MTV this Wednesday. Bub, you were supposed to be my partner! Grr.

"Remember, remember the 5th of November." Heehee!

I can't wait to watch HOSTEL though. Elvin, a.k.a. Chucky (Yes, Sir Valerio and I are close,too! LOL) told me its one of those gore fest flicks. Well, seeing Quentin Tarantino's name on the poster was convincing enough to think that it's going to be like Kill Bill with a touch of horror. As Chucky puts it.

So there. I have to finalize the thesis. And I have some spanking to do.
Yes Gian, I'm talking about you.


Who's laughing now, byotch?

NHIE-DHES10@YAHOO.COM - This woman left her e-mail address when she was tagging me. Isn't that just STUPID?

She always named herself DEVIL and left me messages she believed would actually make me cry. Boohoo!

I thought I should've ignored it, but it's too good to pass up. It's a great opportunity to put her on the spotlight.

Now, I want you my friends... PLEASE look her up in Friendster, so she can get naman all the attention she wants. And TELL me... if she's hot enough to bite me! Then maybe I'll give her all the credit, telling me she deserves my man and I'm not hot or pretty, that I'm stupid and a whore, and screwed up.

Mind me for the language, but that's what she says I am. But don't get me wrong. I am NOT affected.

After looking at my culprit's face, I felt pity. Poor little thing. And I bet she sees me around school. She sure does look familiar.

Now that I know you, Lourdes. Maybe if you're serious enough with all this hullabaloo, maybe we can meet up. Leave me a message or something.

I want to meet you so you can finally tell me what the hell I've been doing wrong for you to try to mess with me.

Naks, ang tapang ko daw.

Well, all I'm waiting for is for you. If you're not a coward then you'd tell me everything you just said RIGHT TO MY FACE. I'd love to see you do it. As long as you'd prove to me what I've done wrong.

I hope you visit my blog soon.

If you're not devil, then... Explain how your email address appeared. Then I'll ask for an apology.



Just stop it already, its too much.
Its way to painful to be in a situation like this.

I do.
I do know myself too well.
And what's stupid is I know what I'm going through and I know what's gonna happen.
But did it stop me?
Will it?

Am I ready?
Am I willing?
Am I capable?

Wake up, Abbie.
Wake up, you idiot.
Its totally not happening.

I know what I'm supposed to do.
But I choose not to.
Because its something new.
Because its something that happened before.
Because its something I've been looking for.

It doesn't have to be today.
Tomorrow, maybe.

But one thing surely has got to stop.
Question is... which?

You won't understand, because I intend it to be that way.
Its way too complicated to understand.
Its way too stupid to say.

But I did.
Because I want to.
Even if its not right.

That's just how it is.
But hopefully not how it ends.

For once in my life, I think I'm brave enough.
Because its here.
Because its in front of me.

And that - rarely happens.

But its not going to be that easy.
Who said it was?

But it might be.
If God intended it to happen.
If God intends it to happen.

I'll end this with a prayer.
"Please lead me to the right path. Please guide me to the right direction."

You gotta be kidding me.

Jeez. This really can't be happening.
ENOUGH, I say.



Olshmulsch. Don't mind me.
It's just something I have to get out of my system.
It will end eventually.
Soon I hope, before the pain kills me.
Before it gets to my system.

Hurry, make it stop.

Make it stop.
Make it stop now.


Don't make an issue out of this.
They're just words.
Take them as they are.
This has no meaning to you.

And Yes, I'm okay.
You don't have to ask me that.

And it's not about me and Andrew too.
We're totally A-OKAY.
So scratch that one out too.

Its just something....
you don't know.

Even I don't know.

Yep. Its that screwed up.