Do-re-mi or Hu-hu-hu?

Whenever you feel like your head is going to explode with lava, what do you do?
Do you cry? Or do you sing? Music could be a very good outlet of pain...or, well, whatever you're feeling today.

If you're mad at your boyfriend?
Do you cry? Or do you sing?
Or do you slap him?

And if you're mad at your parents?
Do you cry? Or... do you cry?

Its hard when the word PARENTS are included in a sentence. Either you're trying to tell everyone how much of an obedient child you are or how you wished you can just run away and they wouldn't even lift a finger to find you.

Hello, I'm Abbie. I'm 20 years old and a docile child.

Just doesn't sound right anymore.
I love my parents, I really do.

But somehow... I just don't like...whatever I'm feeling right now about what's happening in my life.

I think being away from them for almost 5 years made me feel so independent and so capable of deciding for myself.

And even if I have goals for myself...I realized that one of the reasons why I find it so hard to do what I want to do, is because they want me to accomplish a few things first.

I thought I was only going to be here until June.
I gave up marching on Graduation day for them. In exchange of staying here for six months, but... why am I suddenly hearing the words 1 year? Less than 2 years? And "We'll see?"

I know this might sound bad to most of you since wherever my parents are should be home, but... I'm missing so much back home already. My real home.

I just couldn't stay here longer than June. That's all.
All my friends are back home. I mean, is that weird? I'm here with my parents but I feel so freakin' sad about this!

Its days like these I miss Andrew the most. When he'd just let me cry in his shoulder for an hour while I hug him and he pats me on the back. And we'd just stay that way without saying a word. I miss that feeling of being at peace in his arms even if my mind couldn't stop thinking about solutions to whatever problem I'm having.
Its days like those that remind me of why I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Anyway, I'm going with Hu-hu-hu.
I am while I'm typing this entry.