Blinded blinding.

Before I thought it was as simple as planning everything from the gown to the petals to be thrown out by the cute little flower girls. Jeez I never thought it would be a lot more complicated than this!

Its like... Where do we spend more moolah on? The Ceremony or the Honeymoon? Its one of the things Andrew and I have been talking about recently.

We were never the type who would, whenever we go out on dates be one of the couples where the guy would pay for everything. And I like it better that way. Occassionally he pays, I pay (like when we go shopping for each other. Haha!)...

So does that mean he pays for his own suit? I pay for my own gown? Not a bad idea. I'd love Ivarluski Aseron to do my gown. And have Pat Dy take photos of the ceremony and reception,too. Maybe I'll take care of that. So. Where do we get married? Chucky told me the church up in Caliraya looks great. I'd love to marry in an old church. How about the reception? Fernwood Gardens? Too cliché? Hmm. Then maybe we can have our (my?) dream honeymoon in Maldives. We pay for own expenses too! Hahaha!

Oh and the guests! I have so many friends and I don't wanna leave anyone out. But I'm no Ayala to spend about a million pesos for my wedding. I'd go Avril over Katie on this. Close friends and family.

Or do we, while abroad, get hitched the civil way? Vegas? Too tacky!

Ugh. Help a girl out.

I'm confused. Do I get a car or do I get hitched first?

Do I stay long abroad? Andrew wants to raise our children in the Philippines. Best that they know their roots. So do we come home for good and find a job there? Does that mean we don't get married while we're abroad? Or do we go home to get hitched then go back abroad? But what about raising the children? Do we go for family planning and just keep earning and earning and earning enough before we bear children? Or do we bear children here (or wherever we would be by then) and bring them home when they're old enough to go to school?

See? This is serious.
Its kinda driving me nuts, actually.

Am I really there now? God I must be old!
Yesterday, wasn't I just dreaming about being best friends with Kate Moss?

When do we start talking about this? Is now too early? When is the right time then, and how do we finalize everything?

I'm 21. I have 4 more years to remain "single". I don't want to have kids when I'm 30. Its gonna be hard to keep up with them. But 4 years? Does that give me enough time to earn for all this? How about my dreams of going to Europe? Versailles, hello? I can't leave this earth without me ever sniffing dust from Marie Antoinette's bed!

Wait, really? 4 years? Maybe 5? Okay 5. That's final. 5. OMG! Seriously; 5 more years? Haha! Great! I partly feel "OMG-I'm-so-excited-I-can't-wait" and "OMG-5-years-OMG!"

Andrew just told me we should have fun and all and think about it later. But I can't do that, not without a plan. This isn't high school or college freshman days when you can just go with the flow. This is life. Life in its most serious state! This is my future! Our future. The rest of my life. His life. Our lives.


Oh my.
Oh God, help us.