Everybody's Moving Somewhere.




I really want Saab's template, it rocks!

Haha. So yes!
See you guys there?


Am I Rambling?

I'm rambling.
Lol. Meredith Grey moment.

For the first time, I did it on one take! I was so lazy and I obviously wasn't myself, like I said! Because I said I wasn't gonna say what's been bugging me then all of a sudden I say it after I put Crinkles down! WTH.

And I said KEYBOARDS when it should've been KEYBOARD!
WTH. Blonde moments! Haha!


30 years old ka na! Ew, so old!
Lol, joke lang. See you soon!


Why LOL CATS are so LOL.

Courtesy of last night’s Cyber G.B. with my McLovin’ boys:


Okay now tell me that did NOT make you ROTFL/LMAO/ZOMGLOL.
I first heard about the I can has cheezburger site from Gogo (Hi Gogs!), then I think Lance or Jaybo showed it to me.
The photos really make me laugh. Seriously. Its like you can’t help but gush and just laugh your arse off looking at them. So freakin’ adorable. I wanna make something like that too!

CRINKLES! Come here!!!!

Speaking of CATS, because today is Cat day, and my Mom called me at the office and she was bawling about how much she misses Jason ‘cos I sent her an e-mail with all these funny photos of cats and one looked just like our baby boy. I had to be strong for her so I just kept quiet but deep down I knew how much I missed him, and with the number of orbs I’ve been seeing in my camwhore pics lately, I figured he hasn’t really left us after all.

So yeah. Where was I? Oh. Speaking of Cats. My cakey, Camille Agcaoili, shared me this poem by one of her favorite authors, Charles Bukowski.


he came to the door one night wet thin beaten and terrorized
a white cross-eyed tailless cat
I took him in and fed him and he stayed
grew to trust me until a friend drove up the driveway
and ran him over
I took what was left to a vet who said,"not much
chance…give him these pills…his backbone
is crushed, but is was crushed before and somehow
mended, if he lives he'll never walk, look at
these x-rays, he's been shot, look here, the pellets
are still there…also, he once had a tail, somebody
cut it off…"
I took the cat back, it was a hot summer, one of the
hottest in decades, I put him on the bathroom
floor, gave him water and pills, he wouldn't eat, he
wouldn't touch the water, I dipped my finger into it
and wet his mouth and I talked to him, I didn't go any-
where, I put in a lot of bathroom time and talked to
him and gently touched him and he looked back at
me with those pale blue crossed eyes and as the days went
by he made his first move
dragging himself forward by his front legs
(the rear ones wouldn't work)
he made it to the litter bo
crawled over and in,
it was like the trumpet of possible victory
blowing in that bathroom and into the city, I
related to that cat-I'd had it bad, not that
bad but bad enough
one morning he got up, stood up, fell back down and
just looked at me.
"you can make it," I said to him.
he kept trying, getting up falling down, finally
he walked a few steps, he was like a drunk, the
rear legs just didn't want to do it and he fell again, rested,
then got up.
you know the rest: now he's better than ever, cross-eyed
almost toothless, but the grace is back, and that look in
his eyes never left…
and now sometimes I'm interviewed, they want to hear about
life and literature and I get drunk and hold up my cross-eyed,
shot, runover de-tailed cat and I say,"look, look
at this!"
but they don't understand, they say something like,"you
say you've been influenced by Celine?"
"no," I hold the cat up,"by what happens, by
things like this, by this, by this!"
I shake the cat, hold him up in
the smoky and drunken light, he's relaxed he knows…
it's then that the interviews end
although I am proud sometimes when I see the pictures
later and there I am and there is the cat and we are photo-
graphed together.
he too knows it's bullshit but that somehow it all helps.

(*text copied from Old Poetry)

Steeg diba? I love it, it made me all teary-eyed!

I don't have anything "of the day" now.
And I promise to reply to comments ASAP!
I appreciate it, thanks a lot.
I haven't been myself lately to tell you the truth.
There goes. Back to zero.



Click on me!


And who am I?

…That’s a secret I’ll never tell.

HAHA! Sorry I couldn’t help it. I’ve finally hopped in the GG bandwagon you guys! I downloaded the first season and it took me like 2 weeks before it actually finished. Bad trip lang cos the eighteenth episode isn’t working. Freakin’ Georgina got on my nerves more than Little J did!

And just like 99.9% of GG viewers I am in love with Blair Waldorf. How’s that. I love Serena’s spunk though. I only like looking at Blair so much. She’s effing perfect. I burned most of the eps and left them in my office drawer.

The PC broke down last Thursday. I was about to add Carissa, Mika and Chesca’s write-ups in the Aspiring Model entry. Grr. Well, I’ve added them up now.

That’s it. I am so getting a Macbook Pro next year. With that 1TB External Hard Drive and a Tablet! Mark my words!!!

So. You know the latest workout I actually do now, is getting into my pants. Seriously. I sweat trying to get in them. And this is the first time its happening! Who thought it would ever be a good thing, right? Ha,ha! Well, it definitely is to me.

Oh and hey, check this out:

Carrie Bradshaw with a twist.
Asian twist, that is.

I remember in the older blogs I used to post on, my “readers” would bombard me with tons of hate comments saying how feelingera I am. Gah, who cares. If I believe I’m Carrie in the making, then I am Carrie in the making. (Riiiiiiiiiiight.)

Its been a long time since I’ve read as many books as I could. I finished Paulo Coelho’s “Brida”, Brendon Burchard’s “Life’s Golden Ticket”, Rhonda Byrnes’ “The Secret” – I have yet to finish Antonia Fraser’s “Marie Antoinette : The Journey” and Paulo Coelho’s “Like the Flowing River” and Catherin Gildiner’s “Too close to the Falls”.
I really think I have to read Coelho’s “The Witch of Portobello”, oh oh oh and Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “Love in the time of Cholera”. I’ve been so curious since I saw Serendipity, and Oprah just can’t help but bring it up all the time, of how much she loves it and all. A 50 year love affair, how’s that. If there’s anything else you suggest I should read, tell me!!! Just don’t spoil it so much! Ha,ha!

My Diorshow’s container got broken. It fell on the floor while I was packing and it cracked open. So I had to “transfer” it to my Chanel. It’s a good thing that my Inimitable is almost done. Heehee.

I know Uggs have been booted out (booted out! Ha,ha! … Sorry I just had to say it) of the fashion industry since uhm… God knows when, but I just had to have one. So I got a pair from Roxy! Will be wearing it on my flight. Ha,ha. Oh oh! And I also got a pair of sneakers from Vans. I said I was gonna give up on sneakers after my last purchase of “Mary had a little lamb, Little Bo Beep lost her sheep” Converse high-cuts, but this was something I couldn’t let go. They were pink. And skull printed. Would be such a shame to walk out on them (Haha! Haha! Walk out on....Gah, okay I'll shut it).

Oh and…
9 more. Oh no wait. More like, 9 left.
Showtime, people.

(Pretty Woman)

Vivian: So where are we going?
Edward: It’s a surprise.
Vivian: Well if I forget to tell you later, I had a really great time.


The Bat Vs. The Super

Here’s what I think : Most guys like Superman cause he’s got all these cool powers (duh). I mean he is, in fact, Super-man. Every guy dreams to be like him, normally he’s a clumsy tard with glasses (not that its not hot) but in his “red underwear with a cape to match” costume, he can do anything. He can save everyone. He’s got a solution to all the dilemmas even before Nelly and Kelly could even sing the song (man, I’m sorry. I just had to say it…) and can fix up all these catastrophes. He can get away with anything. There is nothing he cannot do (okay except that time when Lois had to save him, you know, in Superman Returns?)

Now Batman, on the other hand. Batman, is, no less, a man. All he’s got is this suit, the freakin’ Batmobile and all these other gizmos that help him bail out of trouble, or kick ass. He doesn’t freakin’ have xray vision and he needs someone to light up the dark night (uy, the Dark Knight! Sorry I just had to say it…I hope its still on when I get back home!) with his freakin’ cheesy logo (do you suggest I watch Batman’s latest flicks now? I’m still stuck with his love affair with Nicole Kidman, you know when Jim Carrey played Riddler?) just to know that Gotham City freakin’ needs him.

Every girl would want Superman. He’s tough. He’s got a heart to love. And deep down, there is this sense of wanting to be saved. Probably from himself. He’s loved Lois unconditionally. He isn’t using his power to get to the ladies. You know, like what Zach said about him in The OC? He’s just making his way, making a connection to this world. He’s just trying to fit in. And that’s what’s so freakin’ charming about him. He’s like…he’s flawless when he’s actually not. He’s the perfect mix of super, and man, and a lot more good looking than Bruce Wayne. Plus, he lets you hug him after he rescues you. Aww!!!

Batman is cold. Definitely. Hello, the suit?! Isn’t that enough evidence? Honestly, Batman is a lot more “Man” than Superman. He’s freakin’ human and he gets to do all these supercoowacky things. He doesn’t need superpowers or an x-ray vision (unlike Superman, he gets “some” every once in a while, there’s no need to feed his fetish checking out chicks’ birthmarks on all the unseen areas). Sure sometimes, Superman beats him to the finish line in getting things done (you’d tell me if I knew so little about Justice League, right?) but he is more man than Superman can ever be. Don’t tell me those cold ways don’t turn you on. C’mon. He saves you and just shrugs you off. There is no warm smile showing off his pearly whites. He’s like, “I effing saved your ass. Kbye.”

I kept telling myself that I should choose Batman over Superman. Superman is just a sad excuse for a Superhero. And he’s overrated. But you know what?

NO. I don’t want Batman. I mean he’s great. Sure. But every single guy in this freakin’ planet IS Batman. And what’s funny is, deep down, some of them are actually struggling to BE Superman.

I figured that they’re missing out the most important point between these two guys who fancy wearing their underwear on top of all their clothes. Batman is your typical human. He uses his head. He comes up with the latest gadgets and crap. Superman, well… all that superhero shit, that’s just a front. All he wants is to be home. And feel like he belongs here. Superman uses his heart. Above everything else. Batman is Batman. Superman… is Clark Kent.
Or Kal El…or C3PO. Whatever his real name is.
Superman, is in fact…human. In the most purest sense. At least his heart is.

Wouldn’t you want someone who’s human first, and man second?
I would. I don’t want to have to deal with pride and all the masculine shit the rest of the world puts up with. Pride is so tiring. So pretentious. I wouldn’t want that anywhere near me.
It hurts my eyes. Like when men scratch their balls in public.

So yes. Human. Therefore looking at everything equally. Sensitive about other’s feelings.
Human. Just… Human.

Do you think its ever possible for one man to like, stop being such a man everyday for the rest of his life, you know, just on days when its totally called for…like, let’s say, as a professional. At work. And apart from that he’s just…human? Human all around? Because I’m beginning to give up on both of them. Batman, Superman. Even at Wolverine (now don’t get me started on this dude).

The Bat is everywhere. And there is no slightest trace of the Super. At least not where my eyes can see.

So F U Lois Lane for having written that article that made you won a Pulitzer prize!
You drove him away.
Because truth is, the world definitely needs him.
At least each and every brokenhearted lass this ball of mass holds.

You think in the end I'll be going for Joker? Everyone's been talking about how great Heath did.


So…You’re an aspiring model, ey?

(Disclaimer : THIS ENTRY WILL INCESSANTLY BE UPDATED. I am writing my part of this entry based on my experiences. I am not a smart-ass, and I am not any better. I am just sharing what I’ve learned, what I know, and observed from the Industry. I am no hotshot, no supermodel. Just one of those who are trying to make it out there. I know a lot of my blog readers have dreams of becoming a model. And with the little that I’ve achieved, I have been blessed to have known people much more bigger than I am. People with much more experience in this. Writing this entry alone won’t give much impact to anyone as I have so much more to go through, so I asked help from some of my model friends and online buddies to write this entry with me by giving tips, sharing stories – something to inspire you to reach for your dream. Because if they can, and in a way, I can, then I don’t see any reason why you can’t. All it takes is to believe that you will, starting right now.)


This is for all of the aspiring models – and this is not just from me.
I know a lot of girls out there have been wanting to be models. I knew I wanted to be one as early as I was 6, and you can blame that on my mother and aunts who loved to dress me up. At 8 I would segregate my clothes into 2 sections in my closet : on the left side were clothes I would NEVER wear, while you can find my favorite dresses on the right. I only had a few that I liked then, but it didn’t matter to me, as long as I felt good wearing the clothes I wanted, it didn’t matter if I would wear 7 of them over and over.

And as for you, whether or not you felt it a decade, or 5 minutes ago - This.Is.For.You.

When Seventeen gave me a chance to fulfill my dream June of 2005, I saw everything unfolding right before my eyes, and before it actually sunk in, I get asked to go to several shoots and appear on a few TV shows. I’ve always told myself how much I loved being in this industry, that I wouldn’t care if I get paid or not, as long as I get to do what I love doing.

Modeling isn’t as easy as it seems. You have to take extra care of yourself. You have to stay fit (not necessarily stick-thin, that’s a no-no), you have to keep your skin flawless, you’ve got to have the right attitude and mindset: rejection is a big part of it, you can’t let it get to you and make your ego shrink to the size of a peanut. You always have to remember that being rejected doesn’t mean you’re not pretty, or not good enough. It only means that they’re after a (specific) look, and not choosing you doesn’t make you any less of a model. And it definitely doesn’t make you any less of a person.

Acting for VTRs, ohmigod. Don’t even get me started on that. I once went to a VTR for this network ad, and I did so bad. SO BAD that the caster couldn’t help but laugh in front of me. I felt like I was an inch tall. I was able to laugh it off after I was done, but it served as a lesson – there is no room for shyness in VTRs, you gotta give it your all, in which I believe I did in all the go-sees and castings I went to after, that I eventually landed final casting for a major softdrink ad to be aired internationally, in fact, at that moment, I ditched my comfort zone and just let the inner feelingerang actress in me act out on the part. And then I was part of the final 3 girls. I had to back out from it though, because I was leaving for the Kingdom, and the shoot dates were moved to the same day I was leaving. Bummer, I say. Bummer. And not to brag or anything but my Agent and I knew I had a huge chance of getting it since the caster kept calling my name and he only made me act the most at the Workshop! (I just read Seventeen’s July Issue and found out Lia Cruz actually bagged the part. I bet she kicked ass!)

During shoots, make sure you come on time. Its always better that you wait for everyone to come in, instead of them waiting on you. I never liked being late in shoots, I'm no superperson to have the right to. If in any case you do get there late, make sure you update whoever you're in contact with at the shoot, so they’d know where you are, and how much time it would take for you to get to the location. Don’t forget to apologize! This one time, Mika booked me for a shoot she was styling, and we were supposed to meet at the Town at 8AM. Imagine how nerve-wracking it was for me getting there at 8:30! And she was with her dad. I felt really embarrassed, it was quite unprofessional of me, deep down I was like “WTH Mika is waiting for ME! Who the hell am I for her to wait for 30 minutes?” *cringe* Even if Mika was an angel and said it was okay, it still wasn’t to me. Never let people wait for you. Especially when you’re just starting as a model.

Okay, so here I am saying all this and you’re sitting there wondering “How do I get there and make it happen?” Easy. First, you pray. You pray really hard for it. You pray for it everyday.
When I saw the ad on Seventeen’s April issue, announcing the First Seventeen Favorite Model Search, I knew it was about time I took a leap of faith.

Two years before that I joined several competitions in school – pageants, fashion shows of which I have never won a single one. But guess what? I didn’t care. I mean sure, in a way I felt bad about it, it was my first taste of rejection. But always think about the experience that you gained from it. The rush and gush of the blood and adrenalin in your system when you’re out there, when you’re meeting new people, when you expose yourself to the world with all your flaws. Doesn’t it feel great? Nothing will ever beat that. Always think : winning will always just be a bonus. Nothing else. Win or lose, being a part of it already means something. Use it as a training ground, to gain more confidence, to realize what you’re doing wrong and to be able to push yourself to do better next time. Don’t aim to win, don’t expect anything. Just always do your best. No matter how much you want this, never take anything too seriously.

Watch Fashion Shows or Fashion Channels like FTV. You can already learn a lot by watching and trying to copy gestures, poses, hand movements that models make. But try to make it your own – that’s the challenge. Do a lot of practicing, or try enrolling in summer workshops if you can.

Lastly, if you do get there, never ever let it get to your head ‘cos that’s the key to your downfall. Seriously. Most of the people I was blessed to get to work with do not have their heads stuck up in the air after everything they’ve accomplished in the industry. Keep yourself grounded. Always remember, that no matter how successful you become, you still are human and that anytime, whatever you have at the moment can be taken away from you. So enjoy it while it lasts and make sure you learn and share your knowledge while you’re at it.

Always remember that you are never too old to make your dream come true. So if I were you, if you know in your heart that it’s what you want to do, then DO NOT LET ANYTHING STOP YOU.

Abbie Almasco

Now, here are people who have been blessed- very, very blessed to have everything they deserve. They are the ones you really should hear from. It took a lot of guts for me to ask help from them, to help me write this blog entry. And I cannot be thankful enough that they have given time to say something for and to you, to help you reach and be what you want to be.

Even though I’ve been modeling for years now.. I still feel like I’m new to the game. Sometimes I wonder why I’m doing this, and what the end purpose of this is? And you know what? Those are the best questions I ask myself.

Because modeling isn’t about just looking good and being photographed. The one thing I learned is that what you feel inside reflects outside. You can be told to act sexy, be beautiful, but if you’re just not feeling it inside, your picture will never work. It’s just going to look like your trying too hard. Its going to look like a picture that’s "trying hard to look sexy/beautiful" You have to feel it and be it FIRST INSIDE. That’s when I learned that who you are inside first and foremost should be your main priority. I don’t want this to sound cliché, but I honestly feel that you should work on yourself constantly. Know yourself, be secure with yourself, and you will feel more confident. Because at the end of the day, your personality and character will separate you from the pack.

With modeling, know that there is a price of entry. Working out, taking care of your health (not starving), taking care of your skin, these may seem daunting to do everyday, but you just never know when you'll be called to do a casting or shoot. Don’t feel like your becoming vain, in fact you should never be vain, think of it as just a part of the job to be the best you can be. So be prepared constantly.

Also, be your own CEO. Organize your own test shoots, network with industry people, and market yourself as if you are the CEO of your own company and that company's product is YOU. I told you right? Modeling isn’t just about looks, you need to be smart too. You need to be smart about your finances, smart about your decisions, smart about your contracts, smart about picking the right people to influence you (so be very wary of haters or negative people. It comes with the game, but don’t let it stop you).

Also, don’t feel bad if you get rejected. I’ve been on COUNTLESS castings wherein I didn’t get the job. It’s not personal, sometimes it’s a numbers game. It’s like buying a million lottery tickets, you won’t win everytime, okay? But when you do you'll still feel like a millionaire =) Stay focused and have faith.

I can’t tell you guys everything because I feel like I am a beginner still. I still don’t look at myself and think "Oh I’ve made it." (sounds so cocky huh!) I treat everyday like I’m still rising because I don’t want to stop my own growth. I want to continue growing constantly, and I’m sure if you talk to me one year from now I’ll tell you a whole new set of lessons. But right now, in this point in time, I want to share what I’ve took a couple years learning...

I hope I helped you guys out. =) Good luck on your careers!

Vicky Herrera

I've always thought about being a model before. The thing is I never even saw that it was possible. But whenever opportunities knock at your door, it would be a shame to ignore it.

I joined the Seventeen Model Search not only because I wanted to see how I'd fair out of the number of readers who would probably join the search, but it was so convenient to submit an entry, dropping it off at the basement of Robinsons Galleria. I never usually do things like that but curiosity and convenience came together in such a perfect timing.

Trying pays off when you least expect it. Being chosen was an elating moment, the photo shoots made me feel like a kid entering Disney Land for the first time. Winning was an exhilarating experience.

After that, I tried out for commercial modeling with VTRs that take forever just for you to say your name age and height in front of a camera. It takes a lot of time and effort from you especially if you live very far from Makati. But perseverance pays off. With the numerous castings and VTRs the almost-got-the-part-but-didn't moments, I still tried, I learned, and I was able to get in to a few roles.

You learn from what you see and how others to it, you learn from the stories you hear while waiting for you turn. You get to learn from others you meet along the way who have done this before and are still doing it now. You become observant, and you take it in you to make yourself better. That's what I did.

And it all started with trying.

Ena De Guzman

I've been inspired by some people during interviews and auditions. Of course not all were ok. I have encountered some rejections as well. Hope my advices will help you, its all I can give.

Winning isn't everything to me, but it's a close second. Losing isn't something that I can just brush off and fake a smile to hide my frustration. It's that will and determination that I hope will get me where I want to go.

“We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans. And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate. It's just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there. Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfills the dream in ways we couldn't have expected.”

“Only those who truly love and who are truly strong can sustain their lives as a dream. You dwell in your own enchantment. Life throws stones at you, but your love and your dream change those stones into the flowers of discovery. Even if you lose, or are defeated by things, your triumph will always be exemplary. And if no one knows it, then there are places that do. People like you enrich the dreams of the worlds, and it is dreams that create history. People like you are unknowing transformers of things, protected by your own fairy-tale, by love.”

Alex Godinez

They say my story is "From Rags To Riches".
I was discovered when I was 16 years old at the Mall (Robinsons Sta. Rosa to be exact).
Since then I worked hard and tried numerous casting and various model competitions like "Fashionista 2004", I also joined one of the breeding grounds of talents and artists in Channel 7 which is Starstruck but met disappointing results, but that didn't stop me to become what I wanted to be...

I joined the SUPERMODEL OF THE WORLD PHILIPPINES 2005 SEARCH... and that changed my life.

I got the title and went to represent the country in the World’s finals in NEW YORK CITY, I landed the top 3 spot with a $100,000 modeling contract with FORD MODELS INC. NYC.

No words can explain how happy I am and thankful to GOD... I believe that I was in the right place and at the right time, GOD gave all this to me, this is what I dreamt of... and now that I'm successfully working internationally I have nothing to ask for, I’m happy and fulfilled.


For all aspiring models out there!!! If you think God is calling you to be a model then go for it, believe in yourself, do what you gotta do, don't be afraid, everything takes courage and you have to be brave and face all circumstances and then, when you reach your goal you will feel the significance of being YOURSELF.


"If you can see it, then you can be it, If you can visualize it in your heart and mind, seeing it through the screen of God's Word with your 'spiritual eyes', it can become a reality in your life."

Charo Ronquillo

Becoming a model usually starts from a dream, and it is not so hard to make it into a reality. All you have to do is focus, take care of yourself and do not stop believing.
The modeling industry is really tough and the pool of models that agents, casters and editors is really big. But you should never compare yourself to other models and feel insecure that they are better than you. There will always be someone prettier than you, thinner than you, whiter or taller than you but you should never let this stop you from fulfilling your dream. You are beautiful in your own way. You should always remember that in every project there is a certain look that casters are looking for. The mestiza model next to you may not be the one that fits the role in the commercial so never be insecure with anyone, this insecurity will only show in your VTR and that's what you do not want to happen. Confidence is the key!

I myself have been rejected so many times, I have attended countless VTRs. I was about to give up because I thought to myself, the modeling industry is not really for me. But instead of giving up, I took this as a challenge. Never be afraid of rejection. If you are rejected, do not take it against yourself and say that you are not beautiful enough. This is just not the right project for you and you are not the perfect model for that particular role. Think of ways on how to improve how you perform in the VTRs, practice in front of the mirror, Practice in front of your friends or your Mom and ask them what you need to improve on. Be yourself and do not try to be anyone else. You may be the one that they are searching for!

Grace Remulla

You know, I find it strange being called a Model not because I don't love what I used to do, but because being called one feels like you have a lot to live up to. And that’s one thing you have to remove from your system : thinking you have to be Little Miss Perfect. Modeling isn’t supposed to be just about how you look.

When I started doing shoots back when I was 14 years old, I hardly understood any of what I did. I thought that it was merely a fix me up-take my photo-print it for the world to see type of thing. I looked up to some people because of the superficial things, a perfect nose, white teeth, flawless skin. I thought that in order for me to be one of them, I had to be just like them. And I admit that it made me so insecure about myself that somewhere along the way I lost myself.

I slowly started to see the reality. It didn't feel good to be an inspiration just because they thought I was "pretty" or because my photos were in glossy magazines. I wanted to be a real model to them, a ROLE MODEL. I had to understand what the word really meant, in order for me to try to help them understand what I was beginning to see.

So I took a step back to see the bigger picture. I decided to stop attending VTR's and just do small shoots for Candy (how can I refuse Mimi? hee hee..) so I could find myself. I focused on school, became a paralegal volunteer, looked for a real job (in short, other ways to earn money), and have a family.

It's been 3 or 4 years since my last project and now I'm proud to say that although I would still love to continue doing modeling work, I now have bigger responsibilities. And I want to be a good example to my daughter so when she grows up, her perspective in life will not be superficial like mine were. I want her to be able to embrace her imperfections, so she can carry herself humbly, and I want her to be as secure with herself as a person, so she can carry herself with pride, no matter what she decides to do with her life.

And so, should you.

Carissa Francisco - Cardona

I was asked to contribute this write-up by a friend who has taken the time to inspire young girls in anything that they dream of doing and becoming.

There’s no particular story I have in mind…all I have are bits and pieces of things I’ve learned in the modeling industry.
I started modeling at 15, not really knowing that I entered into something that would actually end up as a career.
I was shy. I was not exactly what you would call slim, I mean I had my baby fat still, I even smiled crookedly (a one-sided smile, which later on I had to constantly correct using a mirror. Hehehe). Modeling wasn’t even something I considered- simply because I really didn’t think I was “model material”.

But,it happened. I was discovered at a teen magazine anniversary party. One of the fashion editors approached me to do a shoot. So I said “Why not”, thinking that this would be my first and last time…until I met the photographer who referred me to my agent now, ELAN models. On that same afternoon I went for a VTR, and in a few days I was called back and found out that I landed the lead role! And from that time on, projects just came in one after the other, ‘till I eventually started doing regional campaigns- flying to Hong Kong, China, Thailand, Taiwan and Indonesia several times.

But it didn’t mean that I got approved every time I went for VTR’s. There were so many times I was rejected. But that didn’t keep me from trying. I always thought, maybe there’s something better- and really, there always was something better.

The thing is, it takes a lot of effort to make it in the industry- I mean, I’m not even where I dream of being yet. But you know, slowly, you make it.
There is just so much competition- it’s not just based on looks, it’s how you project, how you work with other people, and sometimes even the chemistry you have with the other talents and the camera. Sometimes your competition can be the most beautiful girl in the planet, and yet there’s something she lacks. So, no need to worry about who’s prettier, who’s sexier or taller. Who cares right? If you’ve got it, you’ve got it! ;)

But you have to take care of your body- eat healthily so you maintain that glow, don’t go and starve yourself. Work out if you have to. Invest in monthly hair treatments, and regular manicures and pedicures. Take care of your face and skin by moisturizing and cleansing. Those are the little things—but really, you need to pray, keep God involved with what you do and also making sure that this is the right industry for you. You need to remain humble at all times, You must learn when to say yes or no to certain projects. Always be on time, complain less, work well with others, follow instructions carefully and be patient. If at the first few times you don’t get the part, nothing to worry about, it just means you weren’t what they were looking for- but later on you’ll see. Just keep on trying and in the right time, you’ll get to where you wanna be. ☺

I hope I helped in even a small way, with the little things that I’ve learned along the way. My life isn’t perfect, neither am I. But I work with what I have, and I thank God for every single thing that comes my way. I know I’ve lasted 8 yrs now in the industry because it’s all in God’s hands. I know I REALLY wouldn’t have made it this far if I didn’t have Jesus in my life. He’s my success and He can be yours too ☺

Mikaela Lagdameo - Martinez

It was another one of those summer afternoons when I had nothing to do but read my new stash of magazines. As an aspiring model, you’re usually on the look-out for potential opportunities, such as go-sees by publishing companies. As I flipped the cover of the second magazine, I immediately saw this ad: “Be the Face of VAIO!” Sony was looking for five faces to represent its five laptop colors… I visited the official website of the contest and took down the requirements.

Unlike the other models who have submitted their success stories, I never found myself successful as a model. I have a hard time getting commercials since a friend told me I look in-between – I look too young for a few roles and too old for, of course, high school girl roles. I would get as far as final castings sometimes, but it would always be another girl who’d bag the role. Nonetheless, I try, thinking each VTR would be the one looking for my look. I also joined cover girl searches but I would always end up a finalist, never the cover girl.

Before submitting my entry, I thought really hard about pushing through. If I didn’t win, that’d be another one to add to my list of “always the finalist, never the winner” moments. I prayed for a sign if I should go for it. And God helped me – He made ways for me to submit my entry online even if my hometown had no electricity after the typhoon. On my birthday, I received a text message inviting me to a go-see for the I Am VAIO semi-finals.
That go-see is a story of its own. We were interviewed in a big room by a small panel, who asked questions related to our essay. I realized how tough the competition was since they didn’t base everything on looks; they were also looking for spunk and personality. I think I had a good interview then since I made the panel laugh a couple of times. After that, I said to myself, Di na bale (if I make it or not), at least napatawa ko sila. A couple of days later, when I thought I didn’t make it to the finals, I got called!

The I Am VAIO Night changed my life. Sony didn’t reveal the winners until that night all 25 finalists (five per color) were to be launched to the press. I didn’t keep my hopes up since I knew the four other girls were equally worthy of winning. It was such a pleasant surprise when they called my name as the new face of VAIO C Pink.

You see, if I didn’t try, I would by now be wondering how things could have been if I had joined. If you know it’s going to make you happy and grow as a person, it’s really worth a try. Don’t let your inhibitions stop you from being the person you want to be. Don’t let your insecurities bring you down. Being confident about yourself does wonders too. If you get rejected, aim for something higher. You need to know what it’s like being rejected to experience the ecstasy of finally making it, so don’t take things too seriously. Besides, each opportunity is a learning experience. You would also get to meet a lot of great people in the process. I’ve known this saying ever since, but it took only now to sink in and I hope you girls realize this too: God does not give you what you want; He gives you what you need.

Chesca Sumilang

I learned many things throughout years of modeling and I hope what I can share helps you out. :)

1. Practice your smile. When you model you need to learn how to smile for long periods of time and when your smile starts to get tired it's really obvious it really comes across.
2. Open your eyes! I know it sounds silly but learn how to smile without your eyes getting smaller. (this was my one struggle when I was doing my first shoot, my eyes got really small because I didn't know how to smile properly then!)
3. Always, always, always be on time. As a model you should NEVER be late. There's always going to be someone who's running late but you should never let that person be you!
4. Do not complain. There is nothing more irritating to Photographers, Make-up artists or Stylists than someone complaining. (It also kills the mood)
5. Be Confident! You were chosen for this project for a reason and you shouldn't feel nervous because you bring something unique to the table.
6. Don't take rejection personally. Never think that it's because you aren't pretty enough or because you don't know what you're doing. Yes, there will be prettier people out there but don't get insecure about it. You have your own beauty, your own charm and you are unique in your own way. Casters are looking for one specific look and sometimes you just aren't what they're looking for or need for that project. (I can't tell you how many parts I didn't get because I looked too Mestiza.)
7. You need beauty sleep. Seriously. :)
8. Remember you're beautiful and have fun!

I've heard so many dumb model jokes and people always say "you're so lucky, modeling is so easy! All you do is stand there and look pretty". I no longer correct them, I don't say that not all models are dumb and I don't tell them that it really is hard work. Instead, I smile to myself. These people have their own opinions and that's fine but I feel sorry for them because they'll never know the rush you get when you step in front of that camera. :)

Sometimes I still feel like that thirteen year old stepping in front of the camera for her first shoot but I take that as a good sign, it means I have more to learn and more to experience. I got sucked into the modeling world faster than I could have ever imagined and I love it! I've had so much fun and met so many great people that have become really good friends of mine. I've been so blessed to be able to have experienced all that I have.

If this is something you really see yourself doing then go for it! Fight for it. Always remember that you have something special, work hard, learn a lot and have fun! :) Good luck!:)

Arianna Colamonici

(*photo credits : Abbie Almasco [Sara Black] / Grace Remulla [Bon Villanueva] / Mika Lagdameo-Martinez [Raymund Isaac] )

(Because Modeling IS serious business. I'm winking at you right now, Jay Aggabao)

TIP NUMBER ONE : Do your research on modeling agencies you’ve heard about. Do a walk-in on each one that you fancy being a “part of”. You’ll have to sign non-exclusive contracts / fill out information sheets. They’ll be taking your VTRs and Folio pics for their file to show to their clients, so you have to look your best! And be ready ‘cause they’re gonna start texting you about go-sees and castings, And with that being said…

TIP NUMBER TWO: For walk-in VTRs, make sure you wear light make-up and minimal accessories. The key look is simplicity (always). You’ve got to look fresh, like you just got out of the shower and you’ve made yourself up in 5 minutes. You always have to bring your own make-up just in case, and don’t forget the strapless bra, and extra white tops (especially the VTR staple : a white tube top). But for go-sees, your agent will be telling you the “look” you’ll need to have. Like, the role you’ll audition for is a “successful businesswoman” so you have to look and play the part – so internalize!

TIP NUMBER THREE: Just like what Vicky said, you should learn how to market yourself as well. Don’t just rely on agencies to do all the work. Do a lot of pro-bono shoots by agreeing to do the photo shoots amateur photogs ask you to do for them. You’ll need all the exposure you can get. If you have photographer friends, the better! Make your own setcard, post it on your homepage, send it to Fashion Magazine EICs, anything that can get them to notice your potential, just make sure that you don’t do it to the extent where you look like you’re trying too hard.

So, model. In the words of Gwen Stefani ;


And there he was : Death.

Thankfully, ALMOST. Thank God, ALMOST.

Death twitches my ear: “Live,” he says, “I am coming”.

That was the prologue. I bought Brendon Burchard’s “Life’s Golden Ticket” on my 22nd Birthday. The story was inspired by the Author getting a second chance in life, surviving a car accident that nearly killed him about a decade ago.

Little did I know I would be experiencing the exact same thing.

Thursday, July 3 2008. It was past 7:30 PM, I was chatting with my cousin Chie, after months of not seeing her online on Y!M when Ayah miss-called me again for the second time, informing me that they were already downstairs, waiting. I hurriedly bid goodbye to my friends online, logged out, wore my abaya and kissed both my parents goodbye. I carried my bags, one on each shoulder, and rushed downstairs to see Hammo, Ayah’s extremely kind driver already waiting outside the car, with his (the driver’s) seat plopped down – it was a 2 door car. He took my overnight bag from my left arm and opened the trunk. I worked my way in to the backseat, to find Tutti - Ayah’s sister, finishing her make-up.

“I love your earrings Bie, you look lovely tonight!”, were Ayah’s first words to me.
“Thanks woman! I begged Mommy for it. Hahaha.” Then I explained why it took quite long for me to get down.
“Listen Bie, I’m wearing slippers…not slippers, sandals. That’s okay, right?”
“Are those the Ipanema ones?”
I asked without batting an eyelash.
“Yes” she replied.
“Then, they’re cool.” I said, before thinking of texting my cousin who had just given me her new number.
“I think I left my cellphone at home…” I was about to tell Ayah to ask Hammo to make a turn, as I thought I left it. But then I found it on my sanitizing bag, its zipper was open. I must’ve placed it there while I was rushing on my way out of my flat. “Nope, its okay. Its here, I found it.”

I flipped it open and started texting a message to my cousin, reminding her about those headbands and hairclips I wanted to order from her, explaining where I was headed to as well. I had to compose the message twice since my phone flashed “MEMORY FULL” on my first attempt to send it.

We were already at the back of Sarawat, a shortcut to Tahlia Street. Tutti asked for my eyeliner, and I handed it to her. As soon as she was done she handed it over to Ayah who hesitated applying it on her lower lids with the help of the car’s (sunshield’s) built-in mirror.
“I don’t want to put it in front of everyone else” she said, putting the sunshield back up.
“Don’t be silly woman,” I replied, “go do it now while there are no cars next to us.”

We were at a stoplight, I thought it was the perfect time to quickly apply it on her eyes, but she put the sunshield back up again for the second time, just when the eyeliner was about 2 centimeters away from her lids, saying, “Nah, forget it yo.”
I had already finished composing the message when I realized something must’ve gone wrong that my cousin’s number was not stored in my phone memory.

The light turned green.

Ayah, who was at the passenger’s seat had half of her upper body turned to me and her sister who were seated at the back while we were talking to each other about something I don’t seem to remember now.

Moments later, she suddenly sits up straight on her seat and said, “We’re gonna get hit!”
I was already thinking it. “Eh?”
Before I could even mumble the words, before my brain could even process what she had just said, there it was.

Two blows. And we were swerving out of control.

I thought I was about to face Death. I had a thought that I’d see him in his black cloak with shredded ends, holding a caret, saying “You’re Mine”, in his deep rough voice from the pits of the underworld.

This is it. This is the end” were my thoughts. My brain stopped functioning for a second, leaving me with no last thoughts, no worries, nothing. Nothing but fear. Not of death. But of the pain.

In movies you always see it happening. The look on their faces. Everything in slow motion. And you always wonder what it would be like to be in that position. At that moment, I realized – it will never be how it was like in movies. There will never be enough justice to show the audience what its like.

What its really like.

You know how in our everyday lives, most of the time we know what’s gonna happen next?
You stand in line at McDonald’s, you give out your order, you pay, you wait, they serve?
Or at Breakfast, you slice the eggs, you put it in your mouth, you drink your juice until its all done?
Or as simple as sending an e-mail. You type the address, the subject, the letter, you click on “send” and you know it will be delivered.

That moment, as I sat in the car, I had nothing. At that moment, I lost total control of my life. Nothing, at that moment… Nothing, absolutely nothing could prevent us from death, but God’s miracle.

And that was ultimately the scariest feeling in the entire world. To know all the possibilities that death, will succeed. That this, was God’s will.

My vision turned black for a split second, and as bat my eyes, the next thing I saw were huge, cemented blocks. They were familiar to me since we would pass by this road on most days to work. They were placed on the side of the street because people were working on the tunnel right next to the road we were driving at.

I flew halfway to the front seat. I expected to have broken my legs, blood dripping from my head, losing a few teeth. But I was in one piece. I didn’t know what was happening. It hadn’t totally occurred to me that it was all real. It was happening. It was like it all happened in 2 seconds. Too fast to even know we crashed.

And then the hood went on fire.

I was in shock. I couldn’t move my body. I was just sitting there staring at the fire, expecting the car to explode any minute. Expecting to die. My soul was screaming, telling myself to get out of the car as soon as I could, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even slap myself to prove that it was really happening, that it wasn’t one of my nightmares. That moment felt so long.

It seemed like Ayah was on fast-forward, unfastening her seat belts.
“Abbie, get out! NOW!”
But I was in a slowmo-post-crash-movie-moment.
My hearing was muffled.

I didn’t notice Tutti kicking Ayah’s car seat down, giving us way to get out of the car. She stumbled on her way out, as I almost did. My bag was open, resulting to some of my stuff flying off to the street. I tried to pick them up when Ayah went back for me to drag me to the sidewalk, opposite of the car.

I was trying to stop a bus coming from running over my things, and as soon as the other cars stopped, I ran to get them. Like a beggar seeing a piece of bread on the street.

I didn’t feel the pain in my legs until 3 minutes after.

Ayah was hugging me and Tutti, saying “Thank God” or something similar to it in Arabic. Tutti was crying. I comforted her too, rubbing my hand on her arm.

I was waiting for it to come over me again.
Not an epiphany. But my wake-up call. I knew God wanted me to wake up from something.

I haven’t figured it out until this very minute. I knew I had to change my ways. Treat Mama better. Spend more time with Papa. Take better care of myself. Think about more sensible things on how I can make a difference. I couldn’t believe the accident didn’t wake me up from my dreamlike state. I don’t want anything worse to happen to anyone from my family and friends for me to realize the true value of life and throw it out of the window again.

It took a little time before it all sank in. My near-death experience.
It took a little time before I could allow my system to actually embrace it.
It took a little time before I can act out on it.

And then it dawned on me.
I was asking God for a coreshaker.

I totally got my wish that night.


I stapled a piece of paper…together?

You get it? I stapled a piece of paper! ONE PIECE OF PAPER! TOGETHER! Together isn’t even the appropriate word to use in this…situation.

What the heck! But you know what I realized? I realized that I was exactly like that piece of paper I had just stapled to itself…or whatever.

I try to attach myself to something, when really, the truth is – there is nothing I could attach myself to. The truth is, for now, I have to attach to myself …to myself.

It could also mean like I should attach me to something that I can’t physically see, something greater than myself – GOD.


Yesterday naman, I was talking on the phone to one of UPS’ representatives and as soon as I hung up, I realized that it was the first time in my life that I truly heard myself.

I wasn’t sure if I felt weird because my voice seemed unrecognizable to myself, or probably because… I heard myself! Have you ever felt that way, listening to yourself? I mean really hear you. Have you?

Thinking about it real hard right now, it seemed like I didn’t know where this voice was coming from. Oh, the road to me. Whoever thought it would be this rocky and shady.

Ayan kase, I keep asking for an epiphany, and now they come to me on almost a daily basis.
Nakakagulo tuloy. Haha.

My bestfriend/soulmate is shooting another commercial! Watch out for it, he’s one of the lead characters! I’m so excited. Haha. He definitely should treat me since he owes me one, about two years ago we planned on him treating me to Sushi! I wish I could have as many TVCs as he does. But he is such a pretty boy! I can’t beat his charm! Hahaha!

Oh and check it out. Remember that blog entry I typed last year about Krispy Kreme’s opening in Aziz Mall? Fainak, an events organization covered the launch, and they came up to me and asked if I wanted my photo taken to be posted in their website. I looked really haggard but I didn’t hesitate, so I went for it. My Mom didn’t want to be included in the pic, so there was this girl in line behind me that they asked to join me in the photo.

Taken November 2007

When they were getting our names, we found out that we shared the same name. We were even both wearing glasses at the time AND look at how we did our hair. Cool, huh? I’m trying to work with them, part-time. God willing they’d take me in.

Oh, and for all the aspiring models out there? I've got something cooking for you. I won't spill details yet, its gonna be a surprise, and not just from me! You'll see. Its gonna take awhile before its done though, but oooh I cannot wait to "give it" to you guys!!!

"It takes years to build a relationship.
A minute to break someone's heart.
And forever to get over it."
- Me


I burned my tongue.

Whaddya know, its July tomorrow. How amazing is that. In a few weeks I will be crying tears of joy and my heart will be pounding like there’s no tomorrow, and trust me its not out of excitement. Its out of frickin’ worry that my money won’t be enough for my “needs” ! Someone wire me a thousand bucks right this second! Lol. I was thinking about all the stuff I spent my money on and I’m like, “WTH, if I didn’t spend that much I’d have more than enough!” But did I think about it then? Nooooo. Gah I am such a loser. But hey, no regrets (sure, keep telling yourself that).

O, Best, if you’re reading this entry, I can already read your mind. Don’t say it. Lol.

Last night, Pinnys and I were chatting and she showed me a video she made that got me all laughing. See for yourself!

Their freakin’ accents. Last night I told her I was marrying a half-brit. Lol. So effing sexy!
That's her getting whipped in the first part, BTW. Looool!

Anyways, she’s told me how excited she is to make a video with me and I told her I felt the same way! The Adventures of GEE and NEE! With adventure number one being : “DANCING IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC”. Lol. We’re gonna be “exchanging characters”, like she’s gonna speak in Tagalog and I’m gonna do my infamous fake brit accent. Haha! Watch out for that. That’s gonna be lollage.

Guess what, I picked out my own Japanese name. Ate helped me figure out something that suits me. My Jap name is : 夏美,which can be read as NATSUMI, meaning “Beautiful Summer”. She said it was okay for me since I was born in June, and June is a summer. And I love Summer the most out of all the seasons (yeah like I’ve ever experienced winter, spring and fall. There’s only tag-init and tag-lamig where I come from! Lol!).

I’ve been doing sketches of room arrangements for the condo. That’s how excited I am. I’m not very good at it, but I try my best to just make the picture look the way I want it to look. Its gonna take a few years before I get the look IRL but I’m totally looking forward to it. I’ll be taking photos and measuring and all that as soon as I get in there, since we’ll be moving stuff in. I will totally be buying more Home and Decoration magazines, I fell in love with Vogue living. Those free Ikea catalogues are of big help too.

Oh and check this out, Ayah fixed my tarha for me. This is what I looked like while I was high-end window shopping!

Do I make a purdy abaya lady?

Heehee! I’m gonna start wearing my tarha like that now.
No actually, let me rephrase that.
I’m gonna start wearing my tarha now.

-Izzie Stevens/Meredith Grey


“I couldn’t believe it…”

Those were the words I said, hugging it like it was an adorable little baby.
I had asked the kind saleslady how much it would cost me.

“Eleven thousand Riyals.”
Ohhhhhhhkay. It’s already planned. I start saving up for it by December. I have to order the Classic one, I still like the gold chain better than the silver, and its gonna take 3 months before it arrives.

Regardless on when I'm gonna have it, I know I’m gonna have it. Late next year or early 2010. I’m gonna save like 500, or 1000 or 1500 every month yo, probably alternately.
This is it, you guys. This is it.

The Chanel 2.55 (Flap Bag)

Remember I said that I’d buy like one bag for every designer, no matter if they’re “so last season” as long as I get to have them. Like Fendi’s Spy Bag, YSL’s Muse, Balenciaga’s Motorcycle, Dior’s Saddle (if they still make those. Gah), LV’s Mahina (thank you Ann), Hermés’ Birkin… you know? These would probably change but I’m def sticking with Fendi, YSL and Balenciaga. Gah. I’d do Chanel first since it has the heftiest price tag, and its Chanel. I’ve always been a sucker for Chanel.

Anyways, its all because we went high-end window shopping the other day. There’s this strip in Tahlia street that has all of the designers under its roof. It made me realize that if I saved my salary for two months I could totally get my hands on these sexy Chunky heeled Dior shoes. And GOODNESS, those really gorgeous steps from Burberry, that would’ve totally went with the belt Lance gave me from Hot Topic.

Its been awhile since I had heart-stopping moments, doing my signature halt followed by a gasp, landing my hands on my chest or grabbing the arms of whoever I’m with. Hahaha. And don’t forget the classic (more like overrated) “OHHHHHMMMMYYGOOOOOODDDD!!!!”

Jeez. So anyway, out of frustration, yesterday I decided to spend yet again, but on Topshop parin. Lol. I got these gorgeous chandelier earrings, the ones I told you about. I couldn’t stop thinking about them, and I was browsing through TS’s website and found that they’re out of stock in the UK already. Lol. So yeah, I got them anyways. Don’t you love their accessories? I noticed that they have better ones sold in Jeddah than back home. I’ve been addicted to Freedom stuff. I also got this layered pearl and locket necklace.

Aren’t they gorgeous?

By the way, I posted several entries that I typed offline, published them on their respective dates. These are entries that have been saved in my USB, never had the time (and mood) to publish them and all (please see June 2, 9, 12 and 17 entries).

Oh and check it out:
Bandstand gone bad. Hahaha.
I think its one of the coolest trends, really. Plus Cruise is back. Whaddyaknow.

This is what happens when you try to be the trendiest person on earth. You try your best to outdo Tessa Valdes in “everyday” fashion, you only end up looking like a fashion victim. Haha. No one can outdo Tessa, I love her to death.

“You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, there’s no need to prove all the time that everything is going well, you shouldn’t be concerned about what other people are thinking, cry if you need to, it’s good to cry out all your tears. Because only then will you be able to smile again…”
Mitsuo Aida


How old are you now, 12?

That cracked me up, then I said “No, Sir. 22!”
My boss rocks.
So. Let’s see. Number of times I truly laughed today: 3.

This has got to be one of the lowest birthdays I’ve had in years.
Thinking about it, I’ve never had low birthdays. Low Christmasses and New Years a plenty.
But birthdays? Rarely.

I almost had one on my 20th. I had just gone from a shoot and was suffering from dysmenorrhea. My shoes were killing me so I bought a pair of Havs and had a Passion Iced Tea and Banana Choclit Cake while I sat alone inside Glorietta 4’s Starbucks branch.

Luckily at that time someone was there to save me. As soon as I saw him, it eased everything away.
Then we had lunch at Bubba Gump’s and met up with Ann and Carlo after.
My birthdays have never been grand since I turned 8. But somehow today just feels…incomplete.
I know this is crass. But I just feel so…alone.

Dammit. Why am I even playing Jack Johnson’s “Cocoon” on repeat.
It makes me wish I was in a house overlooking the ocean, and I’m in my knickers, all snuggled up in a long white couch, with glass of wine in hand.
Jeez, man…Bad. Bad idea.

It was quite noisy at the office today. So I decided to hide in my bathroom.
I just stood there leaning at the door for a minute or two. Waiting for something to come over me. A brilliant thought. A realization or epiphany of some sort.
But I got nothing. Zero. My head is as empty as my he… Nevermind.

Happy Birthday to me.
Hope you had a good one, Abbie.

That was my original birthday entry that I was supposed to post yesterday. But then again God just knew the perfect time to cheer me up, which was at my time – the end of the day.

My bosses’ driver came rushing to my desk while they were both away, and handed me a long, thin box covered in a metallic silver giftwrapper. I asked him what it was and he jokingly replied saying “A bomb.” Before I could ask him whom it was from, he was too far to hear me and I already noticed a card – I took it out from its envelope, and it read:

“Wishing you a very happy birthday!”

It was signed by my bosses. I hurriedly opened the gift only to find one effing cool scarf from DKNY.

I loved it, but I was a lot more overwhelmed with the fact that they actually thought of giving me something.

Lance sent me a song from Metro Station titled “Shake it”, which I played on repeat na and it got me super hyped. From then my day just got better. I texted Ayah and told her we should get together at one of my bosses’ fine dining restaurants in Tahlia, where we could just lounge and smoke shisha or something. We set it to next week.

As soon as I got home I checked my accounts and saw that my friends have greeted me, saying the most heartwarming things, which was just what I needed.

I was chatting with Lance and Jay again, slowly coming back to how we were before I screwed them over. Thank God.

I decided to take out the scarf from its plastic, removed the tag, folded it into a headband and tied it around my head. I retouched a little, put on some hot pink Shisheido lipstick and I was off.

Ma, Pop and I headed to Jarir. I had to buy supplies for the office. And then I bought myself a new book (Brendon Burchard’s “Life’s Golden Ticket”, was supposed to get Coelho’s “Brida”, but they ran out of stock. Dammit), People Magazine’s July and Vogue Living’s S/S 2008 issue. Oh and how could I forget, that pinoy magazine Ma and I proudly call ”Istar Istodyo”. I’m a sucker for anything that mentions KC Concepcion. It was my first time to buy Vogue’s “Living” edition and it rocks just as much as the magazine does. I gathered new ideas for my room!

And then we headed to T.G.I.Friday’s where I had one of the best-tasting BBQ Ribs EVER.

We vibrated back home at midnight, and I stayed up until 3 AM chatting with Lance and replying to birthday greetings and messages.

My birthdays have never been grand since I turned 8.
But as I continue aging another year, it gets grander and grander in such a way that I didn’t have to invite 300 people to celebrate my birth.

Sometimes, it’s the party that happens within you that matters the most.
- Me

Happy 22nd Birthday, Abbie.
You bet your ass you had a good one.


Baxter vs Pippa


I encountered one of the toughest quandaries last night while in Topshop.

Help a girl out! Lol.

Baxter / Pippa

Baxter was a lot more comfortable. The Pippa looked just like my favorite grey ones from Mango (which I barely wear now cos I can hardly breathe in them), but it had the cut I like. Pipe jeans yo, pipe jeans. .. I never had one in that color, but it’s the same for Baxter as well. Besides, Baxter jeans are like one of their bestsellers. Its the pair of jeans that somehow started it all. The first time I wore them was for Seventeen’s Favorite Model Presscon. Lora (Gahol) made me wear them with this gorgeous black corset. She also requested I wear them with my own gold gladiator sandals. That was like 2 ½ years ago.

(Lol, they told us to do a wacky face but only Ess and I ended up doing it!
From left to right : Me, Yen, Claude, Camille, Jing, Essy, Sharon and Saab)
I loved those jeans. I should’ve bought them!

So last night, I got the Baxter jeans. But I’m thinking about getting the Pippa sometime this week, too. Okay. So much for asking you for help 'no? Goodness. Last night I asked Ayah to convince me that I didn’t need these gorgeous pair of pearl and crystal chandelier earrings from Freedom at Topshop. I didn’t want to let them go but they cost too much. I swear if I wasn’t flying home soon I’d def get those. *clinches fist*

I’m gonna have them altered a bit in the P.I.

Anyways. A guy called Ayah last week asking for anyone she could recommend for this TV show in the Mid-East (Saudi TV), who can talk about the latest trends, to show that the Mid-East has a take on fashion, too. She recommended me. He called me last week, but I didn’t get much info. Ayah says I’ll be on TV but from what I heard from the guy its gonna be a phone patch or something. That would be totally cool either way. But the thing is I have work on Wednesday. And they haven’t called me again to confirm. But oh well. We’ll see.

Oh and I guess CONGRATULATIONS are in order (belated nga lang):

To my friends Carissa Francisco - Cardona , Lora Gahol - Fornacier, Ahmed Selim for tying the knot (WOOHOO! Wedding bell-ES!! Except for Ahmed, lol) and to Mika Lagdameo for bringing Tyler Nicholas to the world! Congrats you guys. I sure can’t wait to have gone through the things you just did. You deserve everything that you have and will have!

Oh and I wanna thank Bianca for using my photos for her article three days ago! O-yay.
Thanks Kaberday and Up for telling me, and Paul for posting it! Heehee. Here, I grabbed it from his Multiply:


Okay that’s about it.

I just called all of Topshop's branches and it turns out, I should've bought those size 6 Pippa jeans last night as well -- all that's left is size 8! Oh noes. Good thing though my friend Kuya Rey will call me as soon as there's new stuff. Weepeedoo!

Taken probably 4 years ago. How's that? Haha.
Me, Ben, Joyce, Lance and Gail
How nostalgic.


That daunting feeling.

Have you ever felt like you’ve known someone for what seems like your entire life, but the longer you stare at them, you feel like you’re looking at a stranger?

I do.

Most of the time I close my eyes, shake my head and take a deep breath whenever I get that feeling. But as soon as I open them, I realize that none of it is helping.

I’d chant the words to myself.

“You know, you know, you know.”

You know who this person is. Deep down I get a chill in my spine.

It felt so weird. I’ve had these photos ever since and it always felt like I could easily define how I felt. Now its just a big black question mark.

Who is this person? It was like I had amnesia. I tried to remember details of what happened the time the photo was taken. It somewhat feels like I was with an entirely different person at the time – not the one I was in the photo with. Which is really strange, since I’m supposed to know who that person was, as he will only be a memory now. A lot’s changed. I’m supposed to keep how things were intact in my head. For he is dead now. And I don’t know who this person is, taking the exact form of who I knew.

It’s been that way for quite awhile.

Yesterday, the electricity at the office was down for a few hours. I took my i-mate out of my bag and started clicking on the picture folder. Next thing I know, I was staring at our photos again. But today, something felt different. I stared at myself, lying next to that “stranger” I was lying next to. I tried to go back to that time. The person I was with was holding his phone and taking photos of us while I was holding my phone, with my media center on my right side, watching stored eps of Sex and the City’s fourth season. The photos looked like they were moving according to what happened at that time. But I shook my head and focused on myself.

And then the strangest feeling came over me.

I didn’t know who she was.

I remember, during SJParker’s guesting on Oprah, they were talking about knowing who you are in your 20’s. And SJP said something like “You’re not supposed to know yourself at that point, you’re supposed to be searching for yourself… that’s the fun of it”. And Oprah agreed. Then it hit me. All this pressure of falling in love with myself and knowing who I am – its not supposed to be so hard. Everything will come in its own time, I guess. This is life’s journey, this is what we’re supposed to be doing and for once, without any pressure whatsoever.

Boy do I need to start over. With the cleanest and shiniest gold slate I could have.

I have to provide myself with a silver platter this time. They have to come from my own sweat, blood and tears. And with God’s help that really might just happen.

Moving on to something cheerier.

So. The high-maint, fast paced life of the Big Apple, the laid-back vibe of California, or the perfect mix of high-maint, laid-back air of Londontown? My Kuya Richie in CA has already been convincing me that he sees me working in NY. My cousin Sarah and I have already been making crazy plans on our escapades when I get to London. So. What will it be?

"I feel like I become somebody else when I do the pictures. I don't like doing pictures as myself. I like to be made into somebody different."
- Kate Moss