Mark 5 : 36

"...Don't be afraid. Just believe. "

21 years. It all didn't start to make sense until late last year. December to be exact. The month that I detest the most gave me only one of the most beautiful twists and turn-outs this life has thrown at my face.

"God will bring you to a point of weakness until He makes you realize that He is all you have, and that He is all you need to make you strong."

Thinking about it, December had to be the worst month of 2007. It had to be for SO many reasons. But God only allowed it to happen because He knew, it was the only way for me to go back to Him. It was the only way for me to be able to bring back the closeness I used to have with my Mom. He knew it was the only way for me to realize how blessed I am to have Andrew in my life.

God made me realize that everything begins and ends with Him.
Without Him, we are nothing.
God is the reason. God is the answer. God is it.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart."

And you think its that easy. As a child I would always hear this verse during Sunday School.
That must be an easy thing to do. Just pray and tell God that you trust Him. That's got to be it, right? But do you really mean it?

I realized that I never really trusted God completely. My Mom would always tell me that God has our life planned out, scribbled at the palm of His hand. And that whatever happens is according to His will. Giving God your trust is harder than trusting anyone. To trust God you must let go. To trust God you must believe. To trust God you must find peace.

And the moment you start trusting Him, that's when He starts to test you.

God has always been so good to me. Each time I say it, I mean it more and more....and more.
I'm actually out of words. I'm just so overwhelmed at the revelations God has been giving me lately. Of how beautiful life is when you have Him by your side.

Trusting God is like walking while you're blindfolded, and you have no idea where you are, and who's leading you. All you have to do is hold His hand tighter. Do not ask questions, just let Him guide you. Let Him show you what its like to have Him in your life. He will choose to pass by a few dark and rocky crossroads. Its just His way to test you if you choose to take the blindfold off your eyes and walk away from Him -- or if you choose to ask Him to stay with you, never leave you, to walk with you until He figured a way out.

Because only He knows the way out.

Believe in the power of God.
Believe in the power of His love.
His is the greatest we will ever receive.

Thank you Lord, for all the blessings you have given me everyday. Thank you for the past year. Thank you for all the trials you have made me surpass. Thank you for listening to every prayer I make, whether its the ones I've made kneeling down in the bathroom floor, or the short ones I just said in my seat five minutes ago. Thank you for carrying my burdens for me.

Thank you for giving me wonderful parents, who have been supporting all my decisions. Thank you for giving me my Papa, who always puts me first, who still treats me like an 8-year-old, as he sometimes still lets me sits in his lap before we have lunch, giving me his signature hug, just like he always does way back when I was 3 years old. Thank you for giving me Mama, who will do anything and everything for me, just to see me smile and jump around like I used to whenever I got a box of Mars chocolate bars from Tito Joe.

Thank you Lord, for giving me Andrew. Thank you for making us fall more and more in love each day. Thank you Lord, for making us go through all the trials together. Thank you Lord for making us both strong. Thank you Lord for making us better people. Thank you for making me realize that He is not becoming the man that I want -- but the man that I need.

Thank you for all the fake friends I have met. Without them, I would not have realized that I am indeed, blessed by you, and not the Devil. Without them, Andrew and I would not have completely proven the love that we have for each other. Without them, I would not have realized that I have always had You by my side. I know they will always be around me, waiting to pounce at me when I'm at my weakest. But I ask you Lord, to continue to hold me up. Only you can save me from them.

Lord, I know that there will be more trials to face. More burdens to lift. I pray that you continue to make me stronger. I know you will not give me problems I cannot solve. I pray that you continue to guide me and Andrew to the path you made for us. We both belong to you. You brought us together, and we both know that you intend to keep us together.

I pray for everyone who's given me stress, pain and doubt. Only You know how to deal with people like them.

I pray that you continue to bless my friends, my real friends, the ones you used as instruments, just to show how much you love me, as you have given me people in this earth to count and lean on.

I promise you Lord, I will be faithful to You, as You have always been to me. I will never leave You again.

Thank you Lord, for this life.
I love You, and I will always need You.

God knows something beautiful will happen this year. And I claim, in His name, that it will be done. IT WILL BE DONE.

So, how's this for an official kick-start to 2008?
I'm back.