I stopped believing in Fairy Tales.

(Disclaimer : If letting out my true emotions is the only way for stopping myself from crying almost every night, then I’m gonna do it. There is no use holding them back. And today, I am angry. So I’m posting an angry blog entry. Duh. Trust me, tomorrow I will regret saying this, as this is just a result of pent up residual anger. Lol. But I'm saying it anyway. )

Screw Walt Disney.
Screw Cinderella.
Screw Sleeping Beauty.
Screw Snow White.

Screw everything that makes us believe that there is such a thing as Prince Charming. Or true love’s kiss. Screw the white knights who would draw their swords for the women they love. As there is no such thing. No such being. No such man.

Screw love.

Snow White, wake up. You have to do this on your own. Arise from the glass coffin.
He’s never coming. You are alone. There are no seven dwarves. There is no true love.
There is no true love’s kiss. Wake up before its too late. Before you age without seeing life.
Without feeling life’s cold hard hand.

Screw Fairytales. Screw them for giving little girls hope that it will happen.
No man will ever do everything and anything for the woman they love.
They have never existed. Only in books. Only in movies. Only in songs.

I will never have my child watch these cartoons. A soon as she knows how to speak, I will give her the reality of life. The cold hard truth, that not all fairytales have happy endings. Prince Charming will exist only in dreams, never in real life. And if she meets one, it is too good to be true. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, waiting to pounce on her at her weakest. Waiting to take advantage of her. Waiting to kill her.

Screw Fairytales.
Screw them for making me believe in the beauty of love and the happiness it brings.
When, truth is Love is loaded with guns and knives. Fangs and Claws.
Love is not a fairytale.

Screw Sweet November, The Notebook and A Walk To Remember.
Screw the leading men and their roles. Screw the script and the plot.
Screw the cheesy lovemaking scenes. Screw the Hollywood kiss.
If these things happen in real life, they are only to last as long as a full-length movie.

But not forever.

Screw Shakespeare and “Romeo and Juliet”., who died for each other.
Screw the love language. Screw the thees and thys.

Screw marriage. Screw the belief that one woman will satisfy a man for eternity.
Screw fidelity. Screw loyalty. Screw faithfulness. Screw contentment.

Love is a nightmare.
Love is pain.

Love is non-existent.

I blame my mother who taught me how to love unconditionally.
I blame her for teaching me to never hurt others.
I blame her for correcting my mistakes.
I blame her for telling me the difference between right and wrong.

I blame my mother for being so smart, for knowing when its time to stand by my side or not.
I blame her for teaching me to always put others before myself.
I blame her for making me believe I can find someone like my father.

I blame my mother who taught me to be honest.
I blame my mother who taught me of love.

I wish I grew up not caring about other people’s feelings.
I wish I grew up having the conscience to hurt other people.
I wish I grew up not knowing what’s wrong from right.
I wish I grew up with a mother who stood by me even if I was wrong.
I wish I grew up with so much pride.
I wish I grew up a stone.
I wish I grew up heartless.
I wish I grew up without love.

As I would be better off not knowing it.

Heroes. Fuck that.
I am my own Hero. I will brave the wilderness by myself.
Broken. Scarred. Dying.
As I believe I am destined to never find it.

Find white knights. Find true love’s kiss.
Find love.

Because I found it once.
I found the only thing I was ever sure of in my life.
I found the only thing I wanted more than anything.
And it killed me.

Now, who wants to die more than once?