Exploring new hobbies?

While I was in the middle of scanning recipes for the new fine dining restaurant my bosses will be opening at the end of this month, I suddenly realized the urge I had to learn how to cook! I’ve always wanted to bake. When I was a kid my Tita Joanne and I would bake cakes when we lived in Palawan. And when I tried my first mouth-watering Sonja’s Chocolate Surprise Cupcake, I was determined to make one myself one day. I imagined myself getting busy in the kitchen for the first time, and I’ve always thought I’d do it in the condo, walking back and forth to the living room while Gramama channel surfs (as she always does), I plop down on the couch patting my dog in the head and I get up every 5 minutes to check on them baking. But now I imagine owning several cookbooks, scattered around on the counter next to the cutting board that has chopped tomatoes and parsley. I wanna make my own pesto so I can raid something healthy at midnight.

I want my kitchen to smell of rosemary roasted chicken, and curry! I can’t do much of that (cooking) in Jeddah since I don’t have the time ( and an oven to begin with ). But this is surely one of my many many many things to delve on.

Boy, I’m only 21. There is so much in this world to see! And so many things to do. I definitely cannot wait to start (and save, too – only I’ve said that since I was 18).

Next year I might move somewhere. Let’s see if God is really going to take me there. And like I told my friend Lance, I’m just so anxious to be there, living in my own apartment and decorating my own room. Its gonna be hella scary. But my mission for this year is to ditch my comfort zone already. My life dumped me. And now, if I can’t take it back, then I might as well get a new one. A better one. No, wait – THE BEST ONE.

And I pray that I finally finally finally do this. Shut up Abbie, and just do it. You always say a lot of things but whenever God gives you opportunities to do it, your balls get sucked in. Ah. How typical of me.

I’ve always told myself I’d do something crazy one day. Something I’ve never imagined myself doing (like bungee jumping because saying the word HEIGHTS already makes me cringe).

When Jason died, I wonder if he really was happy with the entire (over) 16 years he’s lived with us. I wonder if he felt fulfilled. I really wish he was. I know he didn’t want to leave us but he knew it was his time. I feel guilty that I wasn’t able to spend as much time with him as I used to before he left. When he was sick I didn’t even do my best to make him feel comfortable. It was my defense mechanism. Deep down, God was already trying to tell me something. But I ignored him and just prayed Jason gets better. I’ve been ignoring him because I didn’t want to face the possibility. I firmly believed it was gonna be alright. Living without Jason now, Ma and I have had a hard time adjusting to it. I cried the other night looking at places I’d find him most, just waiting for me to say Hi or call him over. Gringo was still with me, but I felt alone. Whenever my parents weren’t at home, Jason would really make me feel like I wasn’t alone. That night, I felt more alone than I was. I was waiting for him to appear to me. But I think he is at peace. And I think he wants me to know that. Gringo has been feeling sad himself, too. Wandering around the house and meowing all day, looking looking looking to where Jason might possibly be. Its obvious because he’d go around places where Jason spent his last days on. That orange towel blanket Jason was on the night he died, Mama semi-washed. And it is now placed on my pillow in my bed. Where I would normally put Jason on when he wants to sleep next to me. He still has fur scattered around my room and I have no intention of dusting them off – like I used to when he was still with us. I don’t own a single top that doesn’t have at least one strand of his fur on it even when they’re washed. And I love that. I don’t want to stop having them.

(Cue for big sigh.) I miss him.


I dyed my hair again. Same color that I had done a month ago - Honey blonde. Ayah did it for me first, then Ma – just the other day. I’ve always wanted that Olive Greenish-like blonde (like Leona Lewis) but its gonna be hard getting that hair color! For now I’m good with how it looks like. Now all I need is the tanning lotion. Mwahaha. I told you, I’ve been aiming to look like the asian Adriana Lima. Lol.

My HS friend is getting married on the 23rd, and since I had a lot of time in my hands yesterday, I tried on make-up that I’d do and slipped on the dress that I’m gonna wear. Wanna see?

All I need to get are silver gladiator sandals, silver hair pins and studded headbands from Axxezorize. Less is more! And the dress is like an entire head-to-toe set of jewelry already, anyway.

You like? Any suggestions on what I should add or take out? I’d love to hear what you think.

Today was a very hectic day at the office. And seriously, I'm loving it. Running around across Madame and Sir's office alternately every five minutes is like my cardio. I hear "Abbie" on both my left and right ears (duh, I'm not stupid, I know we all use both ears but you know what I mean... or not. Whatever). We went home at nearly 8PM when office hours is only 'til 6. But I'm not complaining. I like being a busy woman. I like the hype. Ha,ha.

Olshmulsh. Off to my daily date with Peter Pan, now.
Mornight, everyone.