I did not need an epiphany toilet for this one.

Papa was screaming on the phone at the delivery boy who didn’t seem to get the directions he gave. The delivery boy was out of his car right across our flat. Papa kept telling him to look straight, in front of him. But the delivery boy kept looking at different directions. His screaming affected me more than the delivery boy did.

Actually I wasn’t irritated at the delivery boy at all.

Ever since I started working, screwing up, getting scolded and making up for it, I realized that my job doesn’t only affect my reputation and performance in the company, in my boss’ eyes, but also the work of others. And as someone who always (always always always) puts myself in one’s shoes I realized, in the middle in all the screaming that happened that night – that as workers, we have to understand other workers as well. Maybe some of us have already reached “that” place. Some of us have already been sitting in that perfect throne, with a perfect crown on our heads, barely messing up, barely disappointing bosses, co-workers.

But some of us have just began the race. The journey.

And its pretty normal to screw up. Just not all the time.

I wanted to tell Papa to stop screaming, probably it was out of pity. But most of all I wanted to tell him that his daughter was just like that delivery boy. And not because he was just a few years older than I was, but because sometimes we just …get lost.

Professionals. We’re humans too. We’ve got lives outside our jobs affecting us. And I know Papa might have had a point. But I didn’t like the earsplitting scolding. I’m sure he’d get hurt if ever my boss screamed at me that way, and I pray that I don’t – cause my boss already scares the life out of me, which is mostly a good thing because it pushes me not to screw up, even if sometimes, I do and I hear pretty hurtful stuff from him. But I am told that I need that.

Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.

Everyone starts somewhere. And in this life, somewhere can mostly be found way down there.

I mean, way down. As a child, Donald Trump certainly did not wake up every morning with a gold spoon in his mouth, did he?

But I’m going beyond the point.

I just wish that we would all be more considerate of our co-workers, employees, and heck, even bosses. Its always a give and take relationship. Being down there, you always have to understand. But being up there, you have to do just that as well.

I know I’ve got a long way to go with this. I just pray that I don’t ever have to cry in the bathroom with anything work-related. I guess I can handle crying in the bathroom about everything else. Just not work. Somehow this is the only place where I know in my heart I shouldn’t mess up.

And maybe its not because of my reputation.
Maybe its because I couldn’t take knowing that I’d screw up in the last resort to excel.
Because everything else has already fallen into pieces.

For now.

"As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can't help but whine, 'Are we there yet?' "
- Carrie Bradshaw