If you were.

Hers was a kind of love she could never give anyone else.
Hers was a man she had known to hold her heart, as she have given it to him to hold forever.
Hers were promises she knew she could keep.



He wasn't perfect. But he made everything seem to be.
He had made her contented with whatever he was able to give.
He made promises she trusted him to keep.



Theirs was a love unexplainable.
Undefinable.
Theirs was a love they wanted to last forever.
Forever. That was supposed to begin this very year.



Her heart made her believe it was real.
Her eyes made her see what was in front of her.
Her touch made me feel it was right.


He gave her everything he could.
He made her feel like she was the one for him.
He made her feel like there would be no one else.



They didn't see it coming.
Hers were eyes focused on him.
His love. His efforts.
He had needs he wanted fulfilled.
Her lips. Her body.


Hers was a feeling she wanted to fight.
Hers were eyes that saw the stench.
Hers were tears that made up the ocean between them.


He tried to not make her see.
He tried not to hurt her. But he did. And he wanted to.
He tried to make everything sound okay.



They were supposed to make it work together.
Her trust, his promise.
Her hands over her mouth.
His lips over...


She. She was supposed to be nobody to them.
She was her friend.
She did not make that matter.

He had given in.
She, he had wanted.
She, he had over and over.

They were something that should have never happened.
They were never supposed to hold hands where her friends could see.
They were never to kiss.
They were never to feel each other.

She knew he belonged to her.
She even has a picture taken with her.
But that did not matter. She pleaded he left her.

He didn't want to. But she, he kept wanting.
He got fed up of her asking all these questions.
He pleaded he needed space for awhile.

They would communicate on days he would not reply to her.
They would meet up on days he did not see her.
He had made her feel guilty of accusing.
While they would be in the mall, lunching.



Hers were friends who were true.
Hers were ears that didn't want to listen.
Hers were blind eyes that saw only him.

He had a way. And he wanted a way out.
He and she, he threw.
He and her, he broke off too.


Theirs was a love she believed would last.
Theirs was love he believed was not enough.
He would ask her what made her think he was the one.
And her answer, he will never comprehend.


Hers was a heart willing to forgive.
Hers were hands willing to touch.
Hers was a mind willing to accept.

He had a body he had to keep.
He had a mouth meant to utter gently.
But he had turned his heart back into stone.


Theirs was a love they deserved for each other.
Theirs was time they held in their hands.
Theirs were fragile decisions.
But hers was the heart to break.


Hers were tears nobody saw.
Hers was a feeling left dead.
Hers was a heart, a body, a soul, a mind more broken than anyone could ever see.


He had pride he chose to wear.
He had memories he chose to throw away.
He had someone new in mind.


They no longer existed in him.
They would never be taken away from her.
They would mean someone new to him.
They would make her wish they never happened.


Hers is a body she no longer belongs to.
Hers is a heart so crushed, like sand, and can no longer hold.
Hers were pleads he should be making instead.

He wants something more than her.
He needs something more than her.
He no longer cares. He no longer loves. He no longer wants. Her.






They will be something that will forever be treasured truly by her.
Her alone.
They, getting back together.
God knows the answer.


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Vack with a Vlog.





I'm letting the vlog speak for itself. Lol.

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"No you can't go taking it back..."

The Cribs said it.
But remember what I said in my last post?



Seriously. You might think its not irrelevant, but some people settle "getting together" through the internet. What I hate the most about everything coming so easy is... well, everything coming so easy!

Whatever happened to kicking it old school? I mean I'm glad that the world has liberated itself from Circa 1800 where everything was so conserved and uptight.


Let me rephrase that:


Seriously. You might think its not irrelevant, but some people settle "getting together" through the internet. What I hate the most about everything coming so easy is... well, everything coming so easy!

Whatever happened to kicking it old school? I mean I'm glad that the world has liberated itself from Circa 1800 where everything was so conserved and uptight.




Hahaha! Because The Cribs also did say "...there's a time and a place for that."
And this is it.




I love it. Don't you? Gah.
Okay replying to comments soon. Keep sending your love! I need it!
God bless, guys.


P.S.
Disturbia's Soundtrack rocks.

P.P.S.
Thank you, Lord.

P.P.P.S.
Ayah's here. Let's rock this bitch, foo'!

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This is what the world has come to.

As much as I appreciate any guy's attempt to tickle my fancy ( well ever since I've been single, that is ) ....




Lo and behold, my friends :

Hey I saw your profile, you're pretty interesting and pretty cute too. Anyway I want to put some excitement in my life and I wanna try new things, maybe you'd be up for a discreet fling? i come from a good family and a good school, was a model and a ball player and above all I don't kiss and tell.:)As indecent as this sounds, I'm a pretty decent guy in general,I just wanna explore my wild side,live a little. Maybe you could leave your number or YM so we could talk about it cutie:)



In fairness to him, there were no grammatical errors, he made me feel at ease while reading his message and not violated, he didn't make me feel cheap at all. He was right, it was indecent but he did sound decent ( or is that just me? ).

And as much as I want to try new things myself as well, ( and I believe EXPLORING is the term, btw) I guess I'm just not up for something as WILD as that. Whatever that really means. I was tempted to say "Hey sure! " and give him like, my yahoo ID or something, but nah. As much as I want to be a playaaaa these days, I guess there are just things you can't change about yourself ( i.e., taking love too seriously ).


ANYWAY that's not the point. In the end of all this, thinking about how serious the internet could be, I just couldn't help but wonder, really.
What happened to romance?


Me : Romance, where are you?
Romance : Seth Cohen said it himself, don't you remember?
Me : Said what?
Romance : Chivalry is dead, sweetie. What more for me?



Seriously. You might think its not irrelevant, but some people settle "getting together" through the internet. What I hate the most about everything coming so easy is... well, everything coming so easy!

Whatever happened to kicking it old school? I mean I'm glad that the world has liberated itself from Circa 1800 where everything was so conserved and uptight. But I think we're going way beyond our control now. Girls are getting pregnant at 15, and guys think getting laid a lot is cool.


OMFOgres. I am totally rolling my eyes right now at this thought.
I'm no saint, yes. But I do know my limits and I do know how to separate having too much fun from having way too much fun. My goodness. I don't think the current gen is ever gonna think about this. I mean seriously. Kids in my high school ( like in their sophomore year ) are doing sex scandals. I used to see some of them back then and it just never occurred to me really, that I would be like, seeing a video of them on top of each other on one of my HS classmate's cellphone years later. Well yeah that is an entirely different story, but...


(#&$$(*%^&*%^@#$%#$%#& !!!!


Its too freakin' alarming. Things come so easy these days thanks to technology.
But as much as I love it, I effing hate it.



Did I make sense?
My brain is still in goo, fyi.

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Let's get superficial.

None of that I'm-so-deep-oh-I'm-a-smart-ass-I-rule bullcrap for now.
I am superficial. Live with it.
Lol.


"When someone puts a whole through your heart, put a whole through your pockets. And when someone breaks your heart, break into the freakin' bank ffs!"
There. My superficial philosophy in life.


I've been majorly shopping for the past two months.
MAJORLY. GAZIMBLE. OOMPIDUMPLE. OOGLEDOOGLY SHOPPING.


The only shop I didn't get to raid was Mango.
Minimal raiding at Zara, of course... BUT MY GOODNESS.
I spent it all on...well, you know the answer to this.


TOPSHOP. TOPPYSHOP. TOPPYS. TOP-OOP-POPPIES.
Ankle boots, bags, jackets, cardigans, dresses, tops, tights, accessories, camis and what-not. Name it. I raided the entire store. That and the fact that it was on MAJOR sale too.
Funneh story (Hi Gogs!) : This always happens. After we pay, I would pass by something I'd like and walk back to the cashier and pay for it...it happens for like 5 times every single time I'm at Topshop (because God knows how many times I went back for two consecutive months). And I've already been going through the racks for like 2 hours. Man.


I was also able to raid LIFE. Got my fugly hands on designer lounge/sleep wear from Paul Frank. YEHOOEY. I got a set of underwear too that looks just like FergieFerg's frilly cheekini in her BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY video. <3, Man. <3. Ahaha! Last night I went back to get that Franklin Marshall top I've eyed on in my last visit. And I hand-washed it myself and sprinkled red rose petals and poured a cup of milk in the water while I'm at it. Lol.



SO. To take my mind off things, I will be updating that silly album I have of all my uber-arte days when all I do is just be, well...superficial - AND DRESS UP like the whole world gives a shit of what I'm wearing! Haha.


So yeah. Lately my life has revolved around my superfisticality (boy do I love making words up).
Oh, that ang gaining weight too! Thanks to Orlando Bloom (a.k.a. my personal nutritionist). Hahahaha. Long story.



Savings? What?




P.S.
Janny I love you, but you know I've been crushing on Shia LaBeouf even in his Even Steven days so can you like give him to me now? I mean he was okay in Transformers but I've only seen Disturbia last night and I was like, uh...sweating? And its not even because of like the thriller scenes, its more like SHIA LaBEOUF OMG I WANT YOUR BABIES kinda sweating? So yeah. OMFOgres he is so effing hot. Its like you know even when he looks all dirty and hasn't showered in a week I'd still think he's hot. Seriously. ZOMG his smile is actually flashing in my head right now..... Oh...my...goodness. Janny please? Lol.

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