Stone the emo kid.

For all we know they don't deserve to live. But can you blame them for all the drama?

I'm lost. I've lost so much of myself in the last 2 years. There are so many things I haven't gotten over yet, so many things still frighten me, I don't know. I've been feeling a lot of things, mostly hate. I can't believe I'm still angsty. I thought those days were over. I thought I was done with being suicidal and hating the world.

In a generation where people claim to have freedom, we can't even step in the light in our own skin without being judged by the rest. By people who claim to know everything. Where's the freedom in that. I see that they're exercising freedom of speech, but what the hell. Too much is too much.

It started with something as petty as Twilight. I'm a Twilight fan. But then I get to be called all sorts of shit for liking Twilight. The hate is too much that Twilight fanatics get to be labeled as idiots. Seriously. We don't hate you for obsessing over Harry Potter, or The Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars, don't we? Given that all three are really awesome, don't we have the rights to like other things that you don't consider cool? Does that make us idiots? Stop comparing people from each other. If there's anything we should have in common its that we all want what's best for the world, for the future.

Then there's this feeling of constantly being ignored by people I try to be nice to. What the f is up with my ego. I was never like this before.

Times like these I tend to forget what really matters.

How about my boyfriend proposing to me last month? I'm finally engaged, we're happy, he's with me, we're making it happen.
How about my Mom's good prognosis after completing all 6 sessions?

These two things are more than enough to forget all the crap happening in the world. This is what I get for spending too much time on the internet. I used to say there shouldn't be a reason for anything. But right now all its all I want, and its what I keep looking for. I feel like we're all constantly fighting for something we're not supposed to, or that its unattainable.

I'm scared of losing my boyfriend, I'm scared of losing my Mom... I don't like the unknown. Maybe no one does.

I'm just mad at how the world has become for us. We used to be filled with so much love and acceptance for each other. People used to think equally of others. Whatever we're fighting for now, just doesn't make sense anymore. All we care about are the petty things. Whatever we're trying to prove to the world does not matter. In the end all you'll have is your soul, and God. At the end of the day you're still human. Sadly, a human with God complexes.

How about the Ampatuan Massacre? All those lives gone in a minute for what? What has the world come to. I can't help but shed a tear whenever I think of what the victims had to go through. How their families must feel like. How soulless the person/people behind the killing is, that scares me so much I feel like I could end up having nightmares.

I choose to live in my own world now. And if you think its uncool, go to hell. Like you're any better.

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