Bang Bang / My Baby Shot Me Down

Drew set up an improvised studio and our plan to shoot together finally pushed through today. He was hella bored of my poses. I was shy to go all out camwhore on him with my feelingerang-fierce ones that I ended up being all smiley and pa-cute, but my Cat mask sort of helped me loosen up (at the end!) MEH.

Anyway, here are two photos he took that I ended up post-processing. I'm a sucker for post-processed photos, if you haven't noticed. He's uploading the rest of the set on his account.

Here are my Photobooth shots after. Ay ay ay, this woman can't help it, no she can't. Photobooth everyday 'no? Haha!

I wonder what our next concept is gonna be. Drew is totally into KPop and JPop artists. I only started liking SNSD after watching their Run Devil Run video (courtesy of Jaybs) and it was because they didn't conform to the standard pa-cutie aznz you'd usually see and stuff. I like me some fierce aznz, yesplease! Although sometimes I couldn't help but be pa-cute myself. But if that's what the husband wants, then that he shall get. Must I rehearse my azn poses starting today?


Lame Vlog is Lame

ONE 2010 from Abbie Almasco-Bautista on Vimeo.

What's new? Except that it LOL. Nothing, really. I'm still boring. How sad. When will I get better at this?


A Box of Bad Cheese

One user and Twenty Two guests online. I am not alone.

I have always known this fact, anyway. I was never really alone, but most of the time, I am sure - that I am. People around me expect the best. Because they have gone through almost the same ordeals as I have, like many others, and have made it out alive. It would be easy to assume that everyone else can, given that they have the right mindset. Which I always believed I had.

Twenty Three Years old. I could say I know better, but at the same time, there is so much to learn. It doesn't make me stupid, it doesn't make me a genius either. It doesn't make me a child, but it doesn't make me an adult.

I've made pretty bold decisions this year, but I don't have a clue on how to deal with the rest. All I need is time. I guess support, too. I just need someone to show me that they're satisfied with who I am now. I just need a nod of some sort. Or a thumbs-up. I know I don't need anyone's approval, but...

Its confusing.

Its like being sucked in a whirlwind of all these emotions. I don't even know which one to express first. Should I be happy? Or sad? I've been both for a long time and its starting to confuse me. Am I living this life for myself, apart from God? Or am I living it for other people?

I've all these voices in my head, and I barely hear myself anymore. What am I supposed to do? Whose voice should I listen to? Other people who know better? Or myself? Or both? How do I balance that?

As I read an article on a condition I've had for 6 years now, it made me feel good that I wasn't alone, but I hated the fact that there were so many of us going through the same disorder, and with the same reasons. Honestly, it would be so easy to get out of. But at the same time its also just as difficult.

I hate how its almost always about having things in between. I used to think it was awesome that I was a person you can't really describe as just "this" without saying I'm "that", too - I'm starting to hate it.

Some things in life take time. Sadly, some scars never heal.


Kadash the Box Turtle

Its my first time to take care of a Box Turtle. The last one I owned was a Water Turtle and I was about 9.

Our Security Manager at the Village found it, and decided to give it to my boss' daughter - but since they own a cat that likes to, erm, hunt, they thought it was best not to keep it. And so I felt obliged to take it home because my conscience couldn't bear thinking it would be alone somewhere with no food to eat and no one to talk to. I don't speak turtle, but I'm sure when Kadash sees my face or hears my voice it would at least give him the comfort knowing he's not alone.

Although I know I'm a stranger to him, but hopefully not for long.

I named him Kadash, because obviously - its what was drawn on his back. Its previous owner painted on it (how mean), but I thought it was cute in a way (but please don't paint on your turtles). If this were an Indie Film, definitely plus points for weirdness. Oddity is always awesome.

I'm kind of terrified of leaving him at home tomorrow when I head to work. I'd probably have to stop by the pet store so I could get him a few stuff like soil or something.

I've been doing some research on proper caring for Box Turtles but I get all these answers on the intarwebs and I'm confused. I was supposed to be helping Drew in the Kitchen but I constantly stayed on Kadash's side to see if he was eating, or moving, or enjoying the small pond on one side of the box.

Poor little bugger. I hope I could give it a happy home. Drew says turtles are emo and I think I believe him (I wish I could speak Turtle and go all DOOD in Turtlespeak, like in Finding Nemo) but once I get this vibe from Kadash, that he's happy then I'm one happy Momma Turt. My cat Gringo always lets me know that he's happy. Speaking of which, Gringo - please be good.

Also, funny conversation with Drew earlier :

Drew : Nako, Gringo might eat him!
Me : No, Cats don't eat Turtles! ... Also, I looked it up online.
Drew : I don't think so! I mean look at Sylvester!


Anyways, if you could give me some tips on how to make Kadash happy, please let me know? I'd really like to do everything and anything I can to keep a baby Turt satisfied! Any form of help would be much appreciated. Hee!



Right here, Right now!
(I'm such a photobooth ho. Took this while finishing this entry.)

I'm not really fond of grapes, but I love grape-flavored gum and candy. I always knew this but I recently reconfirmed this fact when I chewed on Mentos' Grape Flavored Cube Gum.

We ran out of bandages (that actually sticks on your skin) at home and with the recent booboo I had while hanging the laundry, I ended up wrapping tissue around my wounded toe - and because of my mosquito infested legs, I use stockings everyday, which holds the tissue in place for 8 hours. Kinda gross? Yes. Thank you.

I've decided to try my best to post something on Blogspot EVERYDAY. Thanks to an online friend, Kristin - I found out about Dailybooth. If I don't post a full entry on something, I'd probably upload a photo, courtesy of Photobooth.

I REALLY HAVE NOT GOTTEN OVER BEING "MARRIED". I noticed, since Drew and I are blessed to be off from work at the same hour, I get really excited to be home.And if not, I'd say "MY HUSBAND WILL BE HOME SOON AND I HAVE TO BE THERE!!!". I get butterflies in my bellbelly whenever I say something like that. Something that involves the words MY + HUSBAND, lol. I'm enjoying it.

I'm finally making use of my Vimeo account! I might be vlogging there a lot - or maybe I just feel like vlogging today. Woot.

I was trying my skillz in Garage Band last week and I just lolled at doing the basic stuff, using the Mouse and Helium voice effects. I sang TOMORROW and PAPARAZZI. Ha! I srsly have to do something, err serious. I want to perfect my "cover" of Paramore's "Misguided Ghosts".

I know I've got a lot of girlcrushes, but srsly - Kate Moss and Vanessa Hudgens tie at # 1. She'll play as Mimi at the upcoming RENT (on stage) directed by Neil Patrick Harris!! How awesome is that? And I love Mimi! I'd like to think I can relate to her the most but when I took the character test on Facebook, turns out I'm Angel. I love Angel too anyway. Hee.

I want her Floppy Hat.
Oh Forever 21? Hee!

I was able to get me a Moleskine Journal back in Fully Booked at High Street. It was the last piece, it had a small dent on its softbound cover, it wasn't protected with plastic - in short it was the one everyone decided to leave out. And with that, I thought it was an interesting piece. So I wasn't really hesitating to get it. I named it "Molle", pronounced as Mollie. I'll be posting some of my entries here.

And because this is a random entry, check out these random photobooth babies :

You may not see it, but the right side of my face is red.
I was tickling Andrew and his (growing) hair got in my face
(we shaved his head together last week)

Just me, hogging Photobooth as usual :/

I was bugging Drew while he was eating...on our bed. MEH.

I like that I look like I have meat on my face in this photo.
Oh and check out the forehead! Why thank you, imperfections!
And that's Gringo, btw!

For some reason whenever I'm at the appliances section (mall, grocery store) I itch.
This is the second time I got rashes!
Coincidence? Meh?

Babe, Gringo and Me.
Gringo and Drew are really close now, srsly.

Today was the first time I cooked a decent dish on my own - CARBONARA! I thought I should start with the easiest, and darn the darn onions! The skin surrounding my eyes were covered in my precious mascara. It made me think about looking up "Alamats" on Onions, lol. Anyway, both Papa and Drew liked how it tasted! I'm thinking I should make Thursday my official "cooking day". I wonder what I should work on next. Hmm. Suggestions, anyone?

I want to go to Coachella one day. I'm so jealous! Or maybe Benicassim (cos my cousin's gone a lot of times, I want to experience that too!) Or maybe the Warped Tour? Anyone?

My friend Jaybs recently shared Girls' Generation's "Run Devil Run" video and I loved it! I loved the song and that they weren't all pa-cute in the video. YES TO FIERCENESS. I love it when azns don't conform to looking the usual cos that's what everyone's accustomed to seeing. Fight against conformity, yo! I'm totally obsessed with the song.

Speaking of tunage, Boo (a.k.a. Lance) shared Viking Metal music with me. And goodness. Okay, wow. I have no words... Okay, I do. First, I don't have anything against it. I think its actually cool that some people have a thing for Viking Metal. It may not be my thing but its sort of rubbing off on me. So don't be surprised if I post a video Lance shared with me that I end up liking. Viking Metal could be very empowering. It made me miss reading Helga the Viking Comic Strips on the paper. I kept saying "Horny Viking Helmets" and Lance found it weird. LOL. What a transition. I mean, I've just started liking KPOP and all of a sudden I'm yoodloodling (its what I call my Leprechaun dance moves) to Viking music.

This entry's been saved in my Drafts folder for like 4 days now. Getting some shut eye in a while. I can't wait to get the Wacom Bamboo Pen and Tablet so I can doodle away!



Support The Strangeness!

I tumblrcrush Shinji because he is awesome beyond words. And because I am not in Philippine soil anymore (not since the 14th, boo) - please watch them nalang din for me!

Support The Strangeness! Yes, because Strange is coolbeans. And because I'm sure Shinji's band is, too!

P.S. Gotta LOVE the line-up!


Something for the Ladies

Except the slutty ones. No, you don't deserve this. You're part of the song though - the ones who our men just say "Hey" to.

Supposedly from the man who sweeps you off your tootsies and make you puke pretty little butterflies. I shouldn't be, but I'm posting this in his behalf. Andrew, am I posting this in behalf of you too? Hee.

Beautiful girls all over the world
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby
They might say "hi" and I might say "hey"
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
Cause they got nothing on you baby

I remember the first time I heard this. I was doing the Laundry we were tuned on MTV. Andrew was making Lunch and I ran to him and said, "This song's cute! Who sang this?"

B.o.B. at your service. I loved his collab with Hayley too! The woman I want to be! Woo, new ring tone!


The Sumilang Experience

It was in 2005 when we started interacting online, thanks to Multiply. I’m not sure when I found out I was in love with her, but yes – I was. She’s witty, and smart and she’s gorgeous. It was one of those friendships I’ve had in the intarwebs that I knew I was going to keep even if we haven’t met in person. Yet, that is.

There were countless of messages exchanged to each other, then came chatting through Y!M, and finally, we were comfortable enough to set a date to meet. For 5 years, the plan never pushed through.

Until last month.

I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel. I’ve been looking forward to that day for years. I wondered if it would be awkward because finally, I wouldn’t be facing my laptop with her avatar somewhere on my screen – I would be with her, IRL.

“Hey Abs, I’m here…” she texts me. She’s downstairs waiting for me by the entrance closest to where she parked.

You could say I was starstruck.

The thing about Chesca is, you know she was brought up well. She gave off this elegant and classy vibe but also, comfortable. Not everyone has that. Its either you’re classy or you’re comfortable. I don’t think I can be my normal jologs self around classy people. But Chesca allows you to do that around her, and she won’t judge you for it. Its always been that way since we established our friendship anyway. She’s not uptight, and she’s not full of herself (its funny how girls who have the right to have so much confidence are mostly the ones who end up being really humble).

If there was one thing we didn’t need that day it would be an icebreaker. She just made it so easy for us to talk, making the effort for the conversation to last (because I suck at that, I let my shyness get the best of me – thanks ha, when I need it the least?), and soon enough everything was easy breezy.
Chesca's photos and mine combined :

At Gloria Jean's (thanks for the coffee, Ches!)

I look like Chesca's P.A. - but I anticipated that. Hee!
And yes, I lost a lot of weight - don't rub it in. Lol.

We had Japanese for brunch, then she treated me to coffee. Hours later, I was supposed to meet with my friends at the nearby mall, but because she was heaven-sent, offered me to stay at their house to hang there until they arrived.

What's the deal with my hair. Shaaaaame!

I honestly felt very very lucky that she and her family let me in their lives like that. Her parents were two of the nicest parentals I’ve ever met, and to have the opportunity to sit with them during Dinner? That was priceless. I just felt so welcome. And for someone who they’ve met for the first time, I just couldn’t believe it myself. I was crying my eyes out from laughing so hard while her entire family cracked out jokes at each other.

As much as I love my Family and Andrew’s, thinking of them as the model I’d mold my own Family on, I thank God for giving me another Family to be inspired by. I didn’t need to wonder how Chesca became the wonderful woman that she is and will continue to be. I’d love to have that kind of balance with my Family. They exude so much class, but they don’t bore the hell out of you. Here is a family with all the values its members should possess.

I jokingly asked her Dad to adopt me as we left the Dining Room. And he didn’t hesitate to say “Yes,” as long as I don’t end up crying when the spotlight’s on me (Chesca, if you’re reading this – you know what I mean), and I promised I wouldn’t.

I was definitely overwhelmed as I stepped out their (oh my God so awesome) house. To have been in it was a bonus – but to somehow be a part of their lives for an hour and a half, that’s something I’ll get to keep forever.

I’m not sure if they’ll get to read this, but to the Sumilangs, thank you. You guys were definitely one of my highlights for 2010. Chesca, I am so glad God decided to make you a part of my life. Now that we finally met – I’m looking forward to hanging out with you more (Hello Patty and Steph if you’re both reading this too, let’s all set a date eh?) And please ask your Family to adopt me again, Ches. I love you!


Formspring Kwezchunz # 10

Abs! You should really work for a mag. SRSLY. But that's not a question. :p

You know what, with someone like you telling me that, I'm just inspired to fulfill that dream of mine. I love you! :)

Abbie!!! :) Are you still here? I hope to see you before you fly back there ;)
NO! :( Boo! But its okay Mar, I mean there's always next year. If you're in Dasma by then I'll go visit! :)

can i add you in facebook? from dlsu-d din me.. -jiezel
Sorry it took time before I answered :/

hi abbie? do you have fb account? is it ok if i add you? im really fan of your blogs and fashion sense. by the way im jiezel and im from dlsu-d also.
Hi Jiezel! Sure! :)

ate abs.. when do you plan to have a baby.. :)) hehe! miss you tweet..
Not in a few years, we'd like to enjoy each other's company to the "fullest" at least, so we'd be stable in all aspects when we're adding a few more members to our family :) I miss tweeting too! Wish I had a Blackberry! LOL

Hello Ate Abbie. :) I just saw your wedding pictures on Facebook and, as always, you're as pretty as an angel. And your husband looked good too. :D CONGRATULATIONS, Ate. And Best Wishes. :* xx, Joy.
OMG Joy thank you so much! Thank you thank you thank you!!! :) Kinikilig ako, Haha! :)

ateh abbie.. ilan height mo? :D
I'm only 5'3" methinks! I remember Saaby and I were arguing about it cos I claimed I was 5'3" already a year after we met, when she was originally 5'3", and I, 5'2" haha! :)

You already know my new blog :)
Oooh ooooh! Okay! MISS YOU NINZ!

You know I'm happy for you, right? Mwahs!
Of course Ishielove :) xx

Hi Abbie! I was wondering where did you download your twilight audiobooks? (if it were dl-ed hehe) thank you! -rachelle
They were from one of the Torrent websites. OMG I forgot O_O

Abbbbiieee! Just now did I see your wedding photos! (sobs) I'm soooo happy for you.. I teared up a bit *silly me* seing the pics and reading the blog. sighs. I wish you all the best (oh well you are at your best anyway..)! XD
Thank you thank you so much! I'm really touched! Heehee! :) Thank you :) Bless your sweet heart! :)

congrats abbie! :) more outfit posts and a what's-in-your-bag post please! thanks and enjoy a blissful married life! :)
Hey sure!!! Thank you so much, hope you leave your name next time so I can thank you properly! Hee! :3

Hi Abbie! I really love your style! Btw, how do you organize your long necklaces and dangle earrings? Cos I have a lot of 'em and I'd like to organize them in a cute way! Thank you! :)
Thank you so much! :) Well I actually categorize them by kind. They hang on my cabinet door. Haha! :) I think I posted photos of them before somewhere. Might have to pull the link from one of my intarweb accounts! But don't hold your breath! Hee! :3

ate abbs. congrats, u had a small yet intimate and beautiful wedding. :) how was it? :) and y u didn't take fashion design? i super love how u dress up and how u carry it. :p
It was awesome, I'm still at loss for words when asked to describe it sometimes. Its funny cos its like, I never seem to get describing it right. Its way beyond words! Haha! :) Aww thanks a lot, that really flatters me :) I wanted to, but ended with Broadcast Journalism. Hee! :3 Maybe I should take classes in the future, never too late for anything, right? :)

Ate Abbie! Thank you for following back my new Tumblr. :)
Sure, sweetheart! :)

Thank you for giving me the permission to save the 2 photos:) I really find your clothes *cute*. Hehe.
Hey sure! :)

Thanks Ate! I learned from that. Now I'm waiting for him/her/it to come back. Pathetic beings :)) How have you been? :D
Wow this was posted four weeks ago :/ Sorry for that. But since your question is still applicable, well... I don't know, really. I'm happy about so many things but at the same time I'm still on the edge of losing myself. I feel like Linkin Park's ONE STEP CLOSER has been my theme song for quite some time now. Lol. it hurts. it still does at times.
I read it before the entry was taken down :( Wow. I like how you express your emotions - but that surely isn't what I should note about. I used to think the same way back then. I wish I knew you personally.

Hello, Ms. Abbie! :)I absolutely love the way you dress up. Where do you usually buy your clothes, esp floral dresses and beanies? Thankyouthankyou. :)
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that you do :) The beanies I get from H&M and Forever21. The floral dresses are usually from Topshop (actually, now that I thought about it - all my floral dresses and rompers are from Topshop. Haha!) I got a few nice floral prints from Zara and Mango too!

Abbie, how does it feel ti finally be married? Congrats, dear! :-)
Its awesome, but that's an understatement. No matter what word I use to describe the feeling, its still gonna be an understatement. So its actually, like an exaggeration of AWESOME. Hahahaha! Its nerve-wracking too cos its a new life, its something you'll have to continue working on to be able to keep it forever. Its funny, cos its like...effortless, but at the same time you have to put so much effort in it. It's like making an effort to effortlessly make it work and vice versa...Err, yeah. Haha!

ate abbie!! ., followed you. musta married life? ayiiii kilig ako. super!
Hahaha!!! :) Thank you thank you! Will follow you back!

can you list 3-5 weird things na pumapasok sa isip mo?
Wow, I think that's really tough because I can't say what's weird anymore, cos I'm actually a really weird-thinking person. I have one in mind, though (but I'm aware that I am not alone in this): When I was a child, I used to think that things come to life at night. Actually, I still do up to this day. Maybe I should write a full blog entry on that to showcase my weirdness. Nice. Haha!

Were you wearing your mom's dress when you got married? Best wishes, by the way! =)
No, my dress was actually thrifted! Hehe! It was very vintage. Thank you so much!

It took eons before I posted and answered some of them. Meh.


Really, I said That? (Pt.1)

Quoting myself from this Tumblr post :

God is good, yes. Shh happens, yes. That’s life. If you believe in the best of the world, its going to give you the best no matter how topsy turvy things seem at times. Its true that life is a roller coaster. You need to remain sane by remembering who you are and holding on at the crazy parts.

People may have their reasons for hurting you. And you may have been scarred by people you’ve loved and trusted, but no matter how painful they are - it never gives you any right to inflict it on others.

Even if I said that , why can't I freakin' apply it in my life right now, now, now? Meh.


In Two Places at Once

Surrealism, slapping me in the face (or is it really? LOL), one after the other.

It didn't really dawn on me until I was brushing my teeth at around 3:oo A.M. that I was back in the Middle East. 10 hours before we touched down, I was doing the exact same thing at our condo in Global City. I was just amazed at how much reality you have to take in after a 10-hour flight. Routines change, time zones change, lives change.

The best part is Andrew not letting me go. I woke up next to him and my hand was still attached to his. He kept calling me "Wife", and I know I've been married for a month now, but because I had to fly back home hours after the ceremony, it really wasn't until yesterday that my wifely instincts started to kick in. It was awesome. I didn't get much sleep, I woke up the same time as he did and prepared him Pop Tarts and Junk Food and Chocolates to take to work - we didn't have bread so I wasn't able to make him a proper meal.

I had a smile on my face picking up after him. I've imagined it, this life, and have barfed out pretty little butterflies countless of times from the thought of it, but it was still so much to take in. Wow, our entire lives together like this. I think I'm about to faint.

I'm currently taking a break from drowning in the chaos that is my room. I've just finished unpacking. I changed the sheets (including my Dad's), sorted the laundry, changed the draperies - I still have to sweep the carpets.

Tomorrow I'm scheduled to do the laundry - if I can't clean the bathroom today, I'd probably do it tomorrow too. Hmm.

Here, some love from Proenza Schouler (I named my Pro, Proenza. LOL)

Me and Papa at the Boarding Gate. LOL at Hard Boiled Egg!

Me and Drew, reunited! After the Airport, we went straight to Al Tazaj!

Me, the next morning (like 8 hours ago)
I'm wearing my Mom's shirt from the 80's!

Anyways, better get back to the chaos before it swallows us all alive. Srsly, dude. Oh, and Kuya - if you're reading this, I brought the Glade Scented Candle you hesitated to get in the first place. Its definitely bittersweet, remembering all the awesome times we spent as Family :)

It's always the little things that count, right?

Okay, so can I just dive in bed now and pretend like I don't have a ton of chores to do? MEH. Sadly we don't have COBRA here LOLJK.


"Surreal, But Nice"

That would be an understatement, really.

The house is quiet again. You know how you realize you'd rather live in a house filled with family rather than having it almost all to yourself? The silence is deafening.

I was about 30,000 feet above the ground when it dawned on me that it all felt surreal to me. There I was, a newlywed, who had to be away from her husband 2 hours after the ceremony. I did not regret this choice, I had to be there for my Mom. My siblings were flying home the next month, and we haven't seen each other in a decade.

You know how you expect things to happen, and so you absorb an equivalent emotion to that, so you know its what and how you're going to feel, but when you reach that point it still leaves you speechless, and because you have so much butterflies in your tummy, you feel like you're floating on air, like you're dreaming or probably in limbo?

That's how I've been feeling since I got here. Since we almost lived in a hospital room for a week. Since I gazed upon my siblings' faces for the first time in a decade.

It was during that Scorpion scene in Clash of the Titans last night that gave me that uneasy feeling of reality sinking in, that we were all going to be apart again soon and I hated it. My siblings and I had our own lives to live but after all that time apart, I suddenly felt like I was 11 again, just longing for their love and attention. I'm 23 years old but my heart flies when they call me "Baby" and hug me like a child. After all, I am Mom's youngest.

I'd shamelessly do victory dances in malls and hop and skip like an immature little girl. They bring out the trapped, happy girl in me. Just thinking about it makes me break down in tears.

My siblings and I may not have been blessed to have lived our childhood days together, but we were blessed enough to simply have each other in each others' lives. I think about them and I am proud that they are mine, and that I am theirs. That we were bound by love and by flesh.

I look at my Mom and I am just so thankful she brought all three of us to the world. Apart from God, I don't just owe her my life, I owe her all these blessings showered upon us, upon her family. I know it is because of her, that God is filling our cups with so much, in almost every aspect of our lives, in spite of the suffering we are currently experiencing.

Life is tough, its tough on us one way or another, but just like you, I would not trade my family for anything else.

I love you so much.