Formspring Kwezhchunz # 12

Formspring from Abbie Almasco-Bautista on Vimeo.

Thanks, Joe-Wan for suggesting this (and goodness, your blog is AWESOME! Why can't I blog like you? You're definitely one of my daily reads now!)

Before you watch it though, I'd like to warn you to pleeaaase pardon my nonsense (and blonde moments). Meh. And I just noticed, God I've lost so much weight talaga, look at my arms! /cries/

Please don't worry though, guys. I'm really working on it. Like you have no idea. I have to stop stressing out about my weight as well or I'm never gonna gain it back.

Which reminds me...must I see Oshino-san? Hahahahaha! Damn you Jaybo, Bakemonogatari is so awesome! Drew and I started watching last night and it kicks ()*#*#@, yes it does!

P.S. - LOL at leopard printed unmentionables peeping out throughout the entire vid. Sorry, I really have this thing for men's shirts these days. Meh.

6 comments:

Rain


Not so long ago, I had a huge argument with my Dad. It was something I was struggling with for a pretty long time - since I flew here to work, even until after I started working, even after I turned 21, even after I had gotten married. I was so pissed at the fact that he doesn't seem to trust me and believe that I can handle things on my own.

I was out with my friends one night last month, and I had been updating my Dad, texting through my friend Peepo's phone, which lasted until up to 10:00 P.M. I informed him that one of my friends would be off from work and would be able to come at around 11:30 P.M., because my friend Pepet would be dropping me home (we were at Hooters, and I didn't want to have to commute at that time of the day, so I was really glad that my friends were driving me all the way to Global City), I was quite confident that he wouldn't mind if I went home a bit later than usual (when I'm out, I'd usually be home at 10:00 P.M., 11:00 P.M. tops).

To sum things up, I got to the main gate at around 2:00 A.M., and I found my Dad there standing with the guards. The first thing he told me was "Why so late?" and I tried to charm him with my smile, telling him the same thing I said through text, that my friend got off work late and we had to wait. The conversation continued until we got to the lift, in, and out, until we reached our main door, and that's where almost of all hell broke loose. He brought ONE thing that happened in the past that he wasn't able to forgive me for, then he started accusing me of doing things he thought I did but didn't do that night, like drinking.

Occasionally, I would drink with friends back in College (and God knows, I'm never the type to go all wild and dirty when I'm tipsy or boozed out - but I can be very talkative. WAY talkative), and during my recent vacation back in 2008. When my Mom was alive, I would tell her everything. EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING, and she won't judge me. We have this understanding, that its all good as long as I'm honest with her, as long as I know what I'm doing, as long as I know my limits. My mom never lost her faith in me, or her trust, no matter how many times I broke her heart, she would put the pieces back together and love me unconditionally. Which made me feel good because I knew I could trust myself not to screw up because she trusts me SO much, its ridiculous (I mean this in a really good way. I love Mama so much).

But that night, I was vice-free. We had clean fun. I knew I would be toast if I did anything that would make Papa really disappointed at me, and I know he was already dealing with so much. I didn't drink a single bottle or glass of beer or alcohol, the entire 2 months (all in all) that I spent in the Philippines. God knows I'm not lying about that. Which is why I was really hurt because he doesn't know how good I've been whenever I'm out with my friends. I'm not trying to wash my hands, but honestly. I was hurt because those past issues he brought up, I thought he had forgiven me. And then all of a sudden he tells me I should earn his trust again, all I could think of was, "WHAT?"

Frankly I pretty much hated him a little. I felt like he took a knife and carved out a pretty huge piece off of my heart and threw it on the ground and stomped on it. It won't leave a scar - because it was going to remain wounded until I breathe my last breath. That's how I felt at that time.

Until today.

Andrew gets off of work at 6:00 P.M., and would be at home by 6:30 P.M., 6:45 P.M. the most. Once, he arrived at 8:00 P.M. because his boss had asked him to do an errand out of the office. He didn't really inform me then, but I started to worry when he didn't show up at the usual time so I called him. He picked up and explained, and I understood.

Today is a different story. He and Papa already had plans last night that they were going jogging today at 7:00 P.M., which I re-confirmed with Andrew in the morning. It was nearly 8:00 P.M. and Andrew wasn't home yet. To make things worse, his phone was off. I kept trying several times before I texted him, then texted one of his office mates, texted his boss' assistant, phoned the office, two of the three responded saying he left ahead of Andrew but still saw him at work, and that Andrew had already left. Whether his boss asked him to do another errand, or that he went home, he had no idea.

I tried to calm myself down for a few minutes and then that's when I couldn't take it anymore. Made several more attempts to reach him, then I ended up phoning the office again. The operator told me to get back to him after 5 minutes, which I did - but he didn't pick up, then for some reason, I peeped through the main door's peep hole and saw Andrew there, getting his key off his pocket. My mood shifted from worry to anger in a split second.

Andrew and I had just made up from a petty argument we had last night, and I haven't even really recovered from it yet. I couldn't help but feel like maybe this was his way of getting back at me too, I don't know. I was just so mad.

Turns out, on his way home, he met two male filipinos who were new in the country and needed help, they wanted to find a place to live in. Because they were looking for a place which was in the same vicinity as where we lived, he thought it would be kind to help them out.

And I just couldn't stop thinking how stupid that was.

Seriously, at the age of 5, my Mom told me countless of times not to talk to strangers. She had briefed me, like a trainee. "This is situation A, this is situation B, this is situation C. If this happens, go look for the guard. Do you know what a guard's uniform looks like? And if this happens, don't get in the car. They could be fooling you. And if this happens, just kick him in his privates. Do you know where a man's privates are?" Which I still keep in my head until now. I couldn't believe someone as grown up as Andrew could actually be so irrational. Yes, I get he's trying to be nice. And you could say I'm over-reacting but what if they tricked him? What if they're actually kidnappers, or rapists? Its not impossible.

Kung sa Pilipinas nga, ang dami nang nangyayari, dito pa kaya sa hindi namin bansa? And even if they are Filipinos, that doesn't change anything - they're still strangers. Ang daming pwedeng mangyari! And then he tells me he's NOT friendly. Please.

I was talking to him in a very high-pitched tone and I was just letting it all out, how angry I was, asking him things like why wasn't he thinking of me, that I would be worried sick, that his phone was off this time and I wouldn't know who else to ask about where he was. I asked him to try to put himself in my shoes, wouldn't he be worried?

I spoke to him in almost the same way as my Dad did to me. Then I turned my back at him and started crying. I begged him to have pity on me because I just lost my Mom. And if anything happened to him, I wouldn't know what else to do. I sobbed so hard. I was very tired.

And then I said something I never thought I would say.

"I understand Papa now."

And then I cried some more. He was hugging me from behind, comforting me, saying sorry. But it wasn't enough for me. I love him so much, and I was so scared, at the same time I was really mad. Mad because he wasn't using his head, mad because he didn't seem to care. Mad because he doesn't seem to understand what it's like to be in my shoes.

Now I know why my Dad ended up saying all those words to me. Why he brought up past issues. Now I know why my Dad still treats me like a child, or scolds me like I'm 15. Grounds me like I'm in High school.

Papa is just scared to lose me, EVEN MORE. Now that Mama's gone. I get it now. Knowing my Papa, he just expresses himself in a different way.

I didn't mean for this to be a Father's Day post, but I just thought I should share it with you anyway.

After they left to jog, I got one of the harder throwpillows from my room and went all Ryan Atwood on it. I just punched it until I got tired, until I drowned the room in saltwater again.

Its true that if you let God, He will work His way into your life. I've just begun committing myself to His house, and all these things are dawning on me. They're painful, yes. And there will always be times when I want to give up.

I'm not trying to go holy on everyone. I'd just like to share what I know, and how I feel right now.


Apologies for the blurry photo - I haven't scanned photos I brought from the Philippines yet, just thought I'd put up one of me and Papa - which was taken after my 18th birthday celebration outside Don Henrico's in Alabang. Mama took this shot.

I love you so much Papa. Happy Father's Day.
I'm sorry.

1 comments:

Remember Me

A review, or something like it.



"Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it because nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says: "You're nowhere near ready". And the other half says: "Make her yours forever". Michael, Caroline asked me what would I say if I knew you could hear me. I said: "I do know. I love you. God, I miss you, and I forgive you."
- Tyler Hawkins


As I type this entry, I'm watching it for the third time, just after it finished and my jaw was still on the floor. Good thing I was still able to get the remote to press play.

Its so awesome, first let me mention that Robert's character writes on his journal, that are like letters to his brother, who took his own life. Days ago, I came up with publicly blogging letters to my Mom, its gonna fall under a new label, "Letters to Altuna". For some reason, you could say I relate to this film. A lot, in terms of emotions.

In my opinion, I think its not something you'd end up liking if you aren't totally in touch with your 'feelings'. You'd understand, maybe. But you won't get it. You know what I'm saying? It is dragging, if you've experienced something similar, or close.

The plot wasn't really leading you anywhere. I've gotten to many points asking myself where this was going, what's the silver lining, I keep waiting for that moment where I finally yell out, "Eureka!" after guessing how its gonna end. But I got nothing. I felt the same about Revolutionary Road, if I remember correctly.

The cinematography was amazing, I liked how naturally perfect it looked - dim lights, the silhouettes, the angles. The editing was pretty good, too. I like how they omitted some of the usual scenes - like why Allie ended up throwing up like that, did she have too much to drink? Does she have a low tolerance for alcohol? The usual scenes like Michael's wake years ago, and most importantly - the end. Now I don't want to spoil it for you, but the climax...Wo. I was going bonkers. It went like this:

Blackboard
Me : ".....WHAT???? ...... Wait, are they supposed to write about that? Or is is that day's...NO!OMG NO!"
Zooming out on RPattz
Me : "OHNO!NONONO! NONONONONONONONONO! NO!"
Cut Scene
Me : "WTF! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Lol. But yeah that's pretty much how it went. Reminds me of Marie Antoinette's editing. Leaves so much for the audience to imagine. Its like mini-cliffhangers, I love it! And there is a metaphor I'd like to use but I need to watch my language. Hee.

Robert was really good in this film (goodness, he was brilliant). You see how versatile he is. And Emilie's really gorgeous too. They have good chemistry, I get goosebumps.

Its one of those movies that I feel like, was perfectly written - all the little hints they drop throughout the film, that you don't really notice until you've seen it over and over.






Here are some of my favorite scenes (gah RPattz makes an orgasmic Romantic, haha!) WAISOHOT. Nag-effort talaga ako to get these screencaps. Reminds me of the time I captured screencaps while watching Mission Impossible 2 for the nth time (who didn't have their "Tom Cruise" days?)




I hope I didn't give away too much. If you haven't seen it yet, you should!! It makes you realize so much about life. If you don't get that everyday, that is.

You know, I hope RPattz stops wearing white v-neck tees. They just make me wanna rip them off his body (RPATTZ WAISOHOT???) Robert Pattinson = bringing the sexx in plain white tees.

2 comments:

TWO 2010

Second vlog for 2010. Can you guys help me out? Help me make these more interesting! Suggest something for me to talk about on my next vlog! C'mon, c'mon!

TWO 2010 from Abbie Almasco-Bautista on Vimeo.

Vlogs are so much fun to make. I want to achieve the same thing my good friend George Putong was able to pull off : Vlogging EVERYDAY. That's like 365 vlogs, but his was pretty easy to do, cos he had a life and it was exciting. On the other hand, mine is...well, do you want to watch me slice some onions, or maybe argue with Andrew? If that's your idea of "interesting" then be my guest by all means.

Oh, and to follow up on this post, here's a photo of those pair of glasses I talked about. I was wrong, I started using my first pair of nerdies back in early November 2009.


Mmkay, off to get me some shut-eye. Mornight, weoplez! Another day tomorrow (err, more like later). PROCRASTINATION HERE I COMEZ!

4 comments:

Covers?

I'm not so sure. But I hope you enjoy them as much as I did, singing. I have no plans of uploading feelingerang covers I did back in 2007. Oh God no. They're up on the intarwebz though. Those are blackmail worthy. Ick. But I'm not ashamed to show my flaws. I just love singing, that's all.

Misguided Ghosts / Paramore (cover) from Abbie Almasco-Bautista on Vimeo.


Finally uploading a version I did of Misguided Ghosts, didn't really add anything new to it, but its such a pretty song and I've always wanted to sing it. This is probably my nth time to sing this, but my first time to upload it onto the intarwebz :)

My second time to use a still photo for the video - the first time was when I uploaded a cover I did of Janet Jackson's "Let's wait Awhile" last year, but took it down. I may have to sing that again :)

Instrumental background c/o Nathan Bromwich.
Wee, thanks!


When I look at you / Miley Cyrus (cover) from Abbie Almasco-Bautista on Vimeo.


Remember when I said I hated Miley Cyrus, but really love what she does? This is one of them. I'm a sucker for cheese, hence my love for cheesy songs.

I wanna watch "The Last Song" so bad :/

Instrumental version c/o this guy :)
Super thanks!!! :)


Hopefully my next covers will be much better, and I could add my own flavor to the song(s). /fingers crossed/

Suggestions on what to sing next? I'm thinking Lights' "Drive my Soul" cos I've been in love with that song since I first heard it last year. Or maybe DJ Sammy's version of "Heaven".

0 comments:

Ketchup


Meh, haven't been updating my blog, I have so many ideas and my next posts would be about my recent stay in the Philippines (Maligayang Araw ng Kalayaan, Inang Bayan!), turning into certified Madlang People at Showtime, Anagon Accessories, Thrift Shopping and this Japanese brand that I'm currently loving : Kinyobi Friday Uomo.

For now, let me leave you some Photobooth babies :

Today at the "Confines of 9 to 5" before having Tea

Loving this sweater so much. Rrrrr.


Loving this pin/clip that my Tita J got me on their recent trip to China.
Its from C&A. So pretty.

Will work on my article that I pray would be published. Trying to get things out of my system, but not to worry. As much as I love to write about Fashion and other superficial things that I'm obsessed with, it feels good to write about things that matter too. Besides, I'm not that much of a busy girl anyway. When I get home, I only have to do the dishes, tidy up the rooms, fold the laundry, make dinner and spend some quality time with the family catching up with the rest of the world : watching Prince of Persia.

See?


2 comments:

Eww


The last time my skin was like this was last year, but it was a result of the weather. Now, I think its a mixture of that, and stress. And I couldn't hate it any more. When I got here, the break-outs were starting on my forehead, and now, I'm starting to have them on my nose and cheeks! Oh no.

I don't want to try a lot of products without seeing my Dermatologist in the Middle East. I was supposed to go to see Tita Liberty Sumilang (Chesca's Mom), but I decided it would be best to start with her when I finally settle down in Manila for good (but you're here, so you could drop by Renu Smart Skin Solutions in SM MegaMall and SM North Edsa!, read an article on the clinic here). I can't wait to go try their services myself.

Right now, I just want to lock myself up in my room and hide until my skin's cleared up. But that's wishful thinking. And quite insane.

/grabs mirror/ Ew.

4 comments:

Formspring Kwezhchunz # 11





Abbie.. I don't know you personally so as much as I want to give my condolences the proper way, this is the best that I can.. :( Be strong! You can do it.
Thank you so much, Sweetie!! This is more than enough, really. Letting me know that you symphatize with me, is enough.



is it really goodbye curly tops for you?

Yeah, short curly hair was so hard to manage for me, I've turned into being low-maintenance these days :( Its funny though, cos when my cousins noticed, Mama was like "yeah, I wonder until when would she be sticking with straight hair" lol.


Condolence Ate Abbie!:( She's happy now up there;)

I appreciate it, thank you so much :)


Hello Ms. Abbie Almasco, I would just like to say thankyou for following me back. Its a pleasure, indeed. :) Uhm, takecare and godbless. Enjoy being a wife. ♥

You're so sweet, thank you Marla. Of course! The pleasure is mine!



Ate Abbie! Saw you wedding pictures at facebook:) You're so pretty:) Best wishes and goodluck!:* 

Thank you so much! Bless your sweet heart! :)



Yes, yes! I'll be in Dasma! Visit me, please? :)

I'll be going to Dasma on Wednesday but for awhile lang! Hahaha! :/


top 5 list ng GUSTO MONG GAWIN.. tapos list naman ng 5 BAGAY na GUSTO MONG MAKUHA (pwede ring TAO! haha)
Okay here goes, TOP 5 THINGS TO DO :1.) Save up and hire an interior designer to decorate the condo 2.) Save up for the church wedding 3.) Travel the world 4.) Model and write for Preview Magazine 5.) The most important one - to be the person Mama raised me to be, and to apply that with my children in the future / TOP 5 THINGS TO ACHIEVE : 1.) A Blackberry Bold 9700 2.) A Wacom Tablet 3.) Kermit Tesoro shoes 4.) Ivarluski Aseron Wedding Gown 5.) Vintage Furnitute. Those are the things that went in my head. Lol!



Hi Ate! Did you ever think of changing your Tumblr username to AbbieBautista? Hahaha it dawned on me awhile ago that you have a new last name! :)) Did I mention I'm really weird? Sorry. :)) -Jenny

Haha! That's cute! No, not yet! I will soon! And you're not weird. Hahaha! Adorable.


hi abbie, im sorry to hear that about your mom... condolence to you and to your family.. I know how it feels cause my grandma is also critical but still figthing... May God Bless you always take care, misslainern twitter.com/misslainern 

Thank you sweetie, will pray for your Gramms. HUGS.


Hola Abbie! Congrats! You look so beautiful in your wedding vintage gown :) How's your married life so far? :)
Thank you, can you believe it was thrifted? I'm so glad to have that memory of me buying that gown with my Mom. She picked it out, she spotted it, not me :) I miss her so much.


Hi. i just want sto ask what brand and color of lipstick did used here. http://abbiealmasco.tumblr.com/post/530288272/me-and-nessie-at-gilligans-market-market-during#notes thanks :)
Its from MAC, shade : Pink Nouveau :)



Hi miss Abbie. Where'd you buy your Proenza po and how much? Thankyou. :) 

My brother got it for me in the states, I don't know how much :/


hi.. do you know laureen uy? 

Personally? Yes. I love that girl so much. She's adorable.

Who are you voting for President and VP this coming elections?

I wasn't able to register, and this is late, but to answer your question, for the Presidential position, its a tie between Noynoy and Gordon. For VP, I was rooting for Binay more, but Roxas is okay too :)


Ms. Abbie, I don't know you personally but somehow you're a part of my life because I've been reading your blog(s) since 2007 (I think)..from blogspot to tumblr to twitter and now back to blogspot..I'm so sorry about your mom..I almost cried :(
I really love knowing someone's been reading my blogs years ago, it makes me melt everytime. And thank you so much for the sympathy. Its such a tough time for us, I can't even put it to words.


Why are you so gorgeous?

Oh wow. Hahaha! Thanks for saying that I am!!! :)


Ate Abbie! im a huge fan:) not only because of your awesome fashion sense, awesome voice but also because of your love for your family especially your mum:) she must be so proud of you:) God Bless you and your family:) keep on smiling:) 

Thank you so much :') That really makes me smile. God bless you!


Best skin regimen? :)
Hi Hotney! I think its the basic rule(s) : To wash your face twice a day, drink 8 glasses of water, and moisturize moisturize moisturize.


hi ms.abbie! san ka nakakuha ng twilight audiobooks? thank you :)

I really don't remember, but I downloaded them via Torrent. Try to look it up on Google, ang dami doon! :)



0 comments:

LookBook (1)

3 comments: