The Absence Of




"What is this Darkness?", she asks. "What is this Darkness?"
"I do not know, my Child", a faint voice answers,
"But you have to soldier on."


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Churning The Butter




She belonged to no one.
That was her first thought that morning.

"No one", she reiterated. 

She would think about her childhood, and realized she dreamed her life away. She was a Dreamer, this one. She liked to think of her First Love, perfectly mimicking movie scenes as she rested her chin on her hand, diluted pupils staring at the top of the Blackboard, her Teacher on mute. Sometimes, when she was in the mood, it would be on slow motion as well - everything happening around her. 

As she looked back and reflected on her life, she noticed how she always ended up on similar situations, with different, but actually the same type of guy. 

"Do I charm these guys into wanting me when I'm in such an unwantable situation? Is that even a word?", she confusingly asks.

Do you ever believe in Soulmates? Cos this one does. She, however, with the help of one too many Paulo Coelho books on her shelf, believes that we have more than one Soulmate on Earth. She believes she has found three of them. The funny thing is (but its not funny at all), she was not tied to one of them. Like they all walked into a trap but the rest was left out, and she ended up stuck with the one that was not supposed to be there. 

"No wait, that doesn't make sense", she says, correcting her own brain.

She goes back into remembering the most recent Soulmate she met, and the first time she laid eyes on him. It was perfect. She felt like she'd known him forever. The connection, the spark, whatever this world called it. All the forces in the World seemed to work in her favor, because she proved herself right the moment they kissed.

But then she fast forwards it to today and now what? 

"No one", she repeats.

What did she do, why is she here? Well, she wanted this. She wanted it more than anything. And now what? Go with the flow, then. She thinks of everything that happened between them. The things he'd do. The things she'd do. Places they went. A smile turned up on her face. How can she say "No one" when there clearly is someone out there.

Someone who can't be "One". For now? Ever?

"Ever?"
"God, I hope not."
"When, then?"
"I don't know."
"What do you want to happen, then?"
"I don't know."
"You want this?"
"Yes?"
"Yes?"
"Maybe?"
"Maybe?"
"You're confusing me."
"No, you're confusing yourself."
"I guess. But I love him."
"How much?"
"More than I realize. More than I am capable of."

Maybe she should leave it at that.
Should she?




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She Knew

She would give herself to him, again and again. Regardless of the cost, regardless of the consequence. 

"For Love", she whispers, "For Love".

And yet during one of those nights, on separate beds, pouring their hearts out to each other, about their similar frustrations, he asks her,

"Why don't you try to be with someone new?"

"New? But I consider myself already 'with' you. Is this a test?", she asks herself, "Should I tell him how I really feel?". With the heavens falling to her face as she stared at the hotel room ceiling, she paused, convincing herself it was a stupid thing to do. "Honesty will only scare him away", she decides.

"Yeah, maybe. But eventually they all just leave me anyway", was her best response.

"You can't say that, no one knows what our life holds", he answers.

Really? That was the best he could come up with? There were so many questions in her head, "What am I to you anyway?" "How far do you see this going?" "Do you want me to leave him for you?" "Should I ask you all these things?" "What do you want from me?" "Do you really want to see me with someone else?", they were hitting her head like bricks. 

And yet she could see it in his eyes, how hard they were fighting to keep things the way they were. Complicated. Complicated to a level that they could handle. 

The emotions were there but letting it out by saying them would only make it harder. Saying them with their lips was easier. Saying them with their hands was easier. Saying them with their bodies was easier.

She couldn't decide who was having a harder time keeping things that way. It felt unfair for her to not think it was a tie. They were both dealing with different demons. Different fears.

And yet, every time they kissed it felt like none of them mattered. He knew what he had to do. She knew how to deal with it. 

He fell asleep. She stared out the window, gazing back at him every now and then. That cheesy quote "So close, yet so far" gave her the chills, but this time it was because it was true. And it sucked. It sucked even more than saying the phrase out loud.

The next morning she jumped on his bed to wake him. She ended up lying on his waist, tapping his bottom, as if trying to get him back to sleep after failing to do the alternative. She looked up to see him, only to see a smile form on his lips while he covered the upper half of his face with his arms, shielding himself from the sunlight fighting its way through the curtains. She smiled back even if he couldn't see her. She smiled because she knew. 


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The Epitome





He looked around the Diner. People didn’t notice how they were arguing. They were pretty good at keeping things discreet. 

“No, that’s not why you’re sad.

You’re sad because no one’s ever looked at you like they see through you. You know, like they know you – all of you, all your dark corners, all the cracks in your head. Like how the beautiful mess that you are drives them nuts that they want to consume you right at that moment.  Like its love, and lust. So much lust, and love, and lust, and passion. Like they couldn’t wait to feel everything that you are, like being in you makes them feel what you feel, makes them know what you know, makes them see what you see. They want it all. They want you. You’re sad because you’ve never had that.

THAT’S why you’re sad”





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We're Alone Now


Shmexxy. Thanks to my friend Fai for introducing this song to me. The only James Blake song I've listened to over and over is "Overgrown"

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Reality Check

I've been working since 2006. Worked in two different companies before landing a job in one of the best Offices in the Middle East. Worked there for five Years, before I ended up jobless a little over three weeks ago. 

I've been reflecting on what the experience was like, as a whole. In the other two companies I worked for, I barely stayed a year. I was always on the lookout for better opportunities, a greener grass (maybe a Garden or something). You'd understand why it was quite difficult for me to leave this one. My job was a mixture of hard and easy, stressful and stress-free. But it was the people I worked with that made letting it go...so challenging. 

Then again, I knew I needed this break. Three weeks passed, and to be honest, it felt like a month (DUH, its close to a month, but you know what I mean). Then again, I knew I needed this break (repeat to self). 

Sometimes I feel like I'm on the brink of losing it because all I see are the confines of my flat on most days. I'd itch to go out with friends but when I'm out, I'd be itching to go home. I'm dealing with some serious shizz, that's for sure. 

One of the things keeping me sane is the fact that I know that God never left my side through all this. Even if I've been quite distant (again, not something to be proud of), its amazing how He's ALWAYS there. I've managed to stay calm through most of this by His grace. 

Also, I'm AMPED that I'll be heading to my dear Motherland (to stay for a month) in a few weeks. Oh my goodness, all the food I'd eat. ALL THE FREAKIN' FOOD. And to see my Family again, wow.

I'M SO EXCITED! And I feel so blessed. As much as I love it here... MANILA, I'M COMING HOME!

There's also something else I'm excited about. My superficial self is taking over and... okay, it won, sort of (but Ma, you'd be proud of my Restraining Powers, seriously). I'm going to do something very, very mature later. Something only my Superficial self dreamed about. Its really shallow but, I'm really happy that its finally happening. Huzzah!

Been testing the waters of Hosting recently. And boy oh boy is it not an easy thing to do. Being a Host has always been so challenging for me because I can't connect with people while I'm on stage. It feels like the Audience turns to crickets when I'm up there, mumbling.  I feel so small, smaller than an ant.

But, I'd like to share these photos with all y'all :


November 8, 2013 : Moneygram had this ah-mah-zing idea of bringing Robin Padilla to Jeddah (and renting out an entire Amusement Park to accommodate everyone for free!) to make our fellow Kababayans super happy (even just for a day). It was SO hard to keep my composure (let alone, utter a word) being less than a meter away from THE Binoe! His photos (as well as his appearance on screen) doesn't do him justice. Ang lakas ng Sex Appeal! And he is just the nicest. Describing him as such is an understatement. That photo was taken while I was singing the chorus of "Maging Sino Ka Man" to him. Well he sang "Wonderful Tonight" for me, I thought I should return the favor, ha ha! I keep looking back to that day wondering how I survived without falling on stage. (Photo Credit : Pinoy Tambayan)


November 22, 2013 : F.A.M.E., A Filipino Community in the MidEast held its third season of Western Region's Got Talent, and I was given the honor to be one of their Hosts. This is me and Sir Fred, who I shared the stage with that evening. We had a Production Number in the beginning of the show and yes, I was required to dance. Little did they know that it was my first time to dance in front of a large crowd. I lolled at myself while watching a footage earlier tonight. Dancing in four inch heels? CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! No wait, the challenge is actually "DANCING". (Photo Credit : Francis Anthony Jr.)


There's still so much to learn when it comes to Hosting (and not to mention, so much more kapal ng mukha to avail). Back in college, I was never really good with on-cam projects. I choose to hide behind it, armed with a pen and paper but hey - it doesn't hurt to try new things (and eventually love them later on).

That's it. It is now 5 minutes to 5 in the morning. Gotta get up in 4. 

God Bless you guys.

P.S.
I missed talking to you like this.



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I've Got


5 minutes to 4 A.M. in the MidEast.
5 minutes to 9 A.M. in the Philippines.

No matter where you are, or what time it is, this song (and the Music Video) is guaranteed to shower you with good vibes.


Let this song take control of your bum bum! Shake it off, yeah!


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Exchange (14)








"Okay, goodnight", I said, as I watched you slip off your clothes, leaving them on the floor. "I'm gonna sleep now", I continued.

"No, wait for me", you pleaded, letting go of the last piece of clothing along with the rest. "I'm tired, I wanna sleep with you".

And then you jumped in bed, went under the sheets, and with my back on you, you comfortably wrapped both of your arms around me, and rested your face on my neck.

I know I'm yours, but this moment, among many others, screamed "I AM YOURS. ALL YOURS."

You're home to me, Bibi.
I wanna kiss your lips forever.







1 comments:

Facets


The smile plastered on my face is yours. 
You did that.











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We Were Always Dreaming Of A Day That Would Never Come


Its that kind of night.
(Thanks, Awkward. Team Matty for life)


I feel like laying down on the floor, candlelight, white christmas lights, eyes closed...while listening to this. Maybe a glass of wine, too. Beautiful. Sad, and Haunting, but beautiful. 

Are you with me?

1 comments:

"God Was Somewhere Else"

I was watching one of the interviews of one of the Mayors after he visited Leyte. He opened with this remark. I dissent.

To say "Its Terrible" would be an understatement. There are no words for an ordeal like this. All these warnings, reminders, they did and possibly could not prepare us for anything like this. But God wasn't somewhere else. Understood, the Mayor was upset, he was emotional. But that was such a strong statement to say. And very, very disrespectful.

Do you not believe that it pained God to see His children suffering the way they did when the Typhoon hit the Philippines?

There are times when God could do miracles, and there are times when God can only do so much - the rest is up to us. 

"Why?", you ask? 

I don't know. Only God knows. Maybe its easy for me to say this because I'm not there, I didn't lose a loved one from the Storm Surge, I didn't lose a home, I have not starved for the past couple of days - maybe it IS easy for me to say. But I have had my share of loss, I have dealt with the pain of losing someone I loved dearly, practically watched her life taken away. I know its different from the kind of loss people are dealing with now, but we must NEVER, EVER doubt God's presence in our lives. Because most of the time, when we "feel" like He is far from us, try asking yourself who moved.

I admit, I have not been feeding my Spirit as much as I used to, as much as I need to and want to, but God has never left me. He is always there, He is always reaching out His hand, but I have shied away from Him. And that is not something to be proud of.

I know God is capable of so many things. He could have stopped the Typhoon. He could have made it milder than it is. But that's not what happened. We cannot blame God for that. He knows suffering the same way we do, don't you ever forget that.

Call unto Him. 
It is the only way we could all be helped and saved.
Pray. Do your part. If you cannot give, PRAY. Praying is Giving.


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Reaching For You From The Endless Dream


Did my run of The Blacklist marathon last night and when I heard this on the third episode, I stopped and listened to this song for about 3 hours straight.


Its for those nights when you're all alone - drowning and wrapping yourself in thoughts; beautiful, and everything else in between.

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This And These

There are moments in your life where you find yourself completely lost - literally lost, or lost in the moment. Sometimes its not so bad being literally lost, and finding yourself lost...in the moment.

Like when you're catching your breath from what felt like hours of bliss. Or like when he kisses you in between your eyes and brows. Or like when he pulls you closer to him. 

There are moments in your life where you feel so blessed to have something to write about, over and over, and no matter how many times you do, it just doesn't feel like you'll ever give justice to all these, all these feelings.

You close your eyes and you take it all in, his scent on yours, memorizing every single detail, imprinting it on your brain. And you fall back on your bed, smiling, giggling, screaming, laughing, because there doesn't seem to be a way for you to express it correctly. 

You're mad, because you're supposed to feel bad about it. But you can't. You can't. Not when you're this happy. And then all that haze, and the fog fades out, your smile wears off, your heart starts to break. Again, and again, and again and again, you are brought to your reality. Again and again, you'd wish it could all last for more than it usually does. 

He disappears into the night, you wait on your window as he revs up the engine. 

You close your eyes. 
You close it harder.
You close it harder.
Harder than that. 

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I'd Beg You But I Don't Know What For


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Cheverches


Jaybo told me about them and knowing how to pronounce the band's name was tricky, but DUH, it is pronounced as "Churches".



"... I can feed your dirty mind, like I know, like I know what you want..."



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Yay, Rob Cham!

I'm still in Cloud 9 because today, one of my dreams came true! About two years ago, I tweeted that one of my dreams was to be drawn by the awesomeawesome Rob Cham, as an Adventure Time character of some sort.

Today, I found out that he was drawing his friends as Halloween characters, which they all used as Twitter DPs and I thought I'd muster the courage of trying to have one done, but even after he said he only drew people he personally met, he ended up making one for me (because he's that nice in spite of being indescribably talented)



Here is his Marceline-inspired drawing of me.

I freakin' love it!!! And I love Rob even more now! Visit his site here (right, like you don't already know him).


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Like Sushi




Bare from Abbie Almasco on Vimeo.


Some people are meant to be in your life for a period of time. 
Some friends you lose to death.
Some friends, you lose to life.
That's just how things are sometimes. And all you gotta do is be thankful for everything, because you learn from loss.

Even when it hurts like *#&%&*!^%.


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In Celebration Of Breaking Bad


I'm halfway through the Fourth Season and have pretty much managed to get off of Twitter (thank heavens I'm not on Facebook) to avoid some major spoilers. I remember when I found out the fate of my dear darling Robb while I was in Dubai and had no idea whatsoev of the Red Wedding. I wanted to fly back to Jeddah armed with a blank loaded revolver and shoot my friend and pretend he'd die as a result of his blabberblabbing. It pretty much blew the rest of my day. I recall the way I reacted and my boys ended up giving me weird faces.



It's been awhile since I felt so compelled to religiously watch a TV show (its been awhile since Game of Thrones last aired, obviously), and with the cliffhangers Breaking Bad has, I can imagine throwing several things at the telly out of frustration IF I hadn't had the fate of watching it as it was about to wrap up. 

Yes,  (I share the same sentiments as this one fan who wrote Bryan Cranston, as he read a letter out loud to Conan last week), I have the hots for Aaron Paul (SURPRISE!).

And seriously, how amazing is Bryan Cranston? Such a versatile actor and that's an understatement! Can you imagine Mr. White pulling off moves like this?


I was a fan of Malcolm in the Middle, too!

Anyway, for those of you who have seen the Finale, I know, I know. You don't have to tell me - I am definitely watching prepared. And I mean with a box of tissues.


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Hashtag Selfie


I haven't uploaded a Selfie on the Interwebs in what feels like YEARS. Well I have, in Path, where I have a very, very small circle of friends (which I love).

Here's a grainy photo I took two days ago after a tanning session.

This doesn't qualify as a "Photoblog" entry but I would kill myself if I made a "Selfie" category.


Hi.


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For Now I Am



Thanks to Shinji for making me curious with "Masters of Sex" (where I heard this song), and unlike "Sleepy Hollow", it fared very well in my book. Can't wait for Episode 3.

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Sorry To Burst Your Thought Bubble

There are certain moments that flashed right in front of my eyes as soon as I got your message. I wasn't sure how to react to it, I wasn't sure if I needed to react to it at all. But there was this familiar feeling of pain that stung me. It then triggered familiar tears, familiar moods of depression.

I don't know, but after all the shit that's been going on lately, I'd think as long as we were okay, I was okay. But you vaguely told me that we weren't, or that maybe, there wasn't even a "We" to begin with. Not ever? Not anymore? Not for the meantime? Who knows. 

All I know was that I couldn't sleep at all last night. I'd wake up in the middle of my slumber and try to blame it on something. The TV was too loud, my rashes were itchy, I got a notification on my phone. But those weren't the reasons at all. YOU were the reason. You and that stupid message you sent me which didn't even have an explanation. What's going on? I deserve more than one sentence, at least. Make me understand. "Why", you ask? "Because", is my answer. Because. I need it. Are you telling me after everything we've been through, that's all you're gonna say? Are you even going to explain yourself one day, someday? I'd like you to make me feel like shit for thinking of you this way, because I don't want to think of you this way. I know you too well. Sometimes, too well that I'd wish I was wrong. 

But yeah, I love you. 
I still do. Which makes everything I said invalid. 

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Immersion

More than a week ago, I woke up with the intense need to reconnect with the World.

So I deactivated a few online accounts, removed a few apps on my phone, and quietly stayed in bed for a few minutes before getting up to carry on what I call "The Jumpstart to a Working Day" (a.k.a. making sure I get ready in 2-3 songs because I don't want to piss off the Driver on a daily basis by waiting for me downstairs for more than 10 minutes).

I felt like my roots were slowly dying because my head is always up there, in the Clouds, a.k.a. Space, a.k.a. Cyberspace.

I miss writing on my journal, I miss blogging about what I do almost on a daily basis. I miss writing letters and making conversation with people. I miss seeing their expressions to my stories, I miss reading their body language, feeling their hand on my arm when they want me to pay attention. 

I've been going out with my friends, managed to make new ones too, but not as often as I wished. 

I've had so much time to myself, not to think - but to be quiet. I have absorbed everything I needed to, filtered the ones I didn't have to bother myself with, and then I cracked.

In my moment of brokenness, I gathered pieces of myself that were worth restoring, worth keeping, and then I swept the rest of the mess into a pile, and blew them away, like fairy dust - only this one can actually induce Asthma and not the promising rainbow puke that can only come out of a Unicorn's ass.

I felt like a Phoenix. Like there's this version of me that emerged from all this pain and somehow I'm sort of liking it. There's still a trace of the old Abbie somewhere in this new persona. From time to time I still cuss out of frustration, I still find the urge to scream with a pillow stuffed to my face - but these days my Passivity towards the bullshit life throws at me amazes me sometimes. 

My friends ask me why I decided to do all this, sometimes I point my tiny finger to "Technology". Technology brought people closer, I get that, and I'm thankful because it was technology's advances that made it possible for me to know people more in ways I couldn't even imagine, or thought possible. 

But then "keeping in touch" made us "lost touch", literally. And that's what I'm aiming for right now. Like falling asleep with the Telephone's handset on my head... I really miss that. 

As much as I love how things seem to be quite easy these days, sometimes I just wished we all tried harder to connect.


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Did Not Need The Magical Epiphany Toilet For This





"I have found Peace in this Chaos. It will be quite a struggle still, that's for sure. But its the way of the World. Dance to its Music, but YOU must make up the Words.


Who says sad Melodies can't have happy Lyrics?"





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Hypnos Grants Me Life

I don't remember when Hades and I started to become friends. But he would often pay me a visit when all the lights have gone out, when I allow the small ignited flame of hope to die for a few minutes. Sometimes I would call out to Hades, and he would gladly grace me with his presence. 

I don't blame Hades entirely for wanting to be with him. I would watch myself over and over, and wonder what it would be like to take that step, where I would no longer require him to keep me company in the hours of my chosen solitude, but in turn be with him for eternity. I think Hades was no stranger to such. The drama of having to choose probably baffles him. And yet he was almost always kind to me. He probably enjoyed the way I would write letters to people who lost over him. And I'm guessing he liked leaving his kingdom from time to time, you know, claiming people himself. But I think he was always fond of me, and yet I am confused whether it was because he liked to torture me this way, or maybe because he knew I would be with him soon enough, either way. Or maybe because he already knows me too well. I'm a coward. He liked to watch me fail every time. It used to piss him off, but now, like my bully friends, he laughs at my attempts knowing I'll never go through it. 

Then there's Hypnos, who gets here approximately 20 minutes after Hades. I don't really understand why it takes him that much time to come, but Hypnos has always won me over Hades, and I'm not sure if its because Hades allows it, or maybe because Hypnos knew he'd always win anyway. Or maybe he's made an agreement with Hades to spare me? I don't know, I'm probably an exception to their rules. I wonder why that is. 

Hades seduces me sometimes, although I know he lures me under false pretenses. He doesn't make me promises, but the idea of ending it all just made everything so...peaceful. I probably give more importance to my physical body than the soul that is keeping it alive. But on most days, it doesn't even feel like I have a soul. I've already died. What's the point.

Hypnos, on the other hand - makes promises ALL the time, all the freakin' time! "Come with me and forget for awhile, you'll feel better after I've taken you back from my kingdom". Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before, Hypnos. I've got to keep my eyes closed to be in your world because as soon as I open them I'm back to my ugly, ugly, ugly reality. 

Sometimes I wished Hades would betray Hypnos, you know? When we're on one of our trips, I'd find Hades waiting on the other side of the bridge, where we were bound to never return. 

I don't know if that meant I'd have to be left in Hypnos' kingdom, probably on the outskirts, the less fancier area, where the Unicorns are banned from stepping on. 

But do you know what my greatest fear is? My greatest fear is what if I finally mustered the courage to be with Hades, and then Hypnos comes earlier than he usually does and they go on a war, and just as I thought I was gone, I am brought back. How do I live through something like that? 

And surely, when that happens - neither of them would become friends of mine.

I wouldn't know who to miss more.

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Exchange (13)







Tracing my fingers from your back to your bottom,
I give it a light tap, resting my hand on top of its perfect, perfect shape.

"This is the ass that I love", I muttered.

You then mimicked my gesture, saying
"And this. Is the ass that I love".















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Truth Be Told



And I say this with confidence, you are the best surprise Life has thrown at me. 
I intend to keep you like this. 
And I mean it in the best way.


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Is It Not To Be Said


(a.k.a. Exchange 12)

How I can still feel your Lips on my Neck
How I can still feel your Body on top of Mine
How I can still feel you all over Me

How I can still hear your voice
How I can still hear your heart beating
How I can still hear you breathing

How I can still see the smile in your Eyes
How I can still see you playing with my Hair
How I can still see everything...into you.



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Exchange (11)









"I'm sorry"

"What? Why?"

"I can't keep my hands off you"







2 comments:

You Know You're Abbie Almasco If (V.01)

Inspired by an old blog entry by one of my favorite women on Earth (hint : It's Kat Dennings).


1.) If a Guy hits on you, you immediately assume that its because he thinks you are Cheap and Easy (although you are not but you're really twisted like that), making you an easy target. Or maybe because there was no one else he could hit on. In other words, it does not boost your confidence at all.

2.) Everyday is a constant battle between wanting to know more on History, Art, and other things that matter versus reading on current trends and other superficial shit that you know you somehow loathe (but you have the Regina George syndrome on all things Superficial).

3.) You believe that you were born to roam around the World, but hate the fact that you have ZERO Savings, and ZERO Saving skills because YOLO.

4.) The voice in your head yells "PRETENTIOUS!" when you're having an Epiphany because your middle name is CONTRADICTION.

5.) Your back-up plan is to move to Greece, work at the local market to sell Vegetables and Fish, walk around Barefoot, spending afternoons by the beach with your Dog and a glass of Wine.

6.) You wake up with weird allergies all over your body. You also wake up with bruises you don't remember causing.

7.) You know you can never survive in the Cold.

8.) You wear your big ass heart on your sleeve and you don't give a rat's bum bum  that people think its a weakness.

9.) You're a Hopeless Romantic, you believe in Slow Dancing and Making love by Candlelight and you are one of the few remaining of your kind.

10.) You believe in Unicorns, and you are one of the few remaining of your kind. Shun the Non-Believer! Shun! Shun!

11.) You broke the same time Ally did during Episode 22 of Season 2.

12.) You're Stupid, and you like that you are because someone says "Like You" when you call him Stupid.

13.) You discovered your wild side by 2012, which made you realize that you are in fact, a Rebel. But for all the right reasons (or is that what all Rebels say).

14.) You lost count of the number of times you've received phone calls and voice notes/messages at 6 in the morning only to listen to all of your best guyfriends moaning sexually in your ears which could go on for a full minute (Hello, JDC. I love you too).

15.) Nothing grosses you out like Dry Feet and Dry Cuticles. And Racism.

16.) A Masculine Neck turns you on, and you discovered that upon realizing you've seen what a Masculine neck should look like.

17.) You are a self-confessed Prude, but you are not when you are with the Love of your Life because LOVE.

18.) You wish you were born a Saudi, because you are in love with the luxury of their Culture and Traditions. And because the Women are blessed with Beauty you can't find anywhere else in the World.

19.) You don't have a "type" when it comes to the opposite sex. One look and it just hits you - a strange connection. And this has happened even to guys who aren't "Good Looking" according to "Society".

20.) You secretly hate "Society". Well you secretly did, 5 seconds ago. And you like to dress "SOCIETY" with quotation marks because you think it points out that you're being sarcastic. 

21.) You can put Clueless, Mean Girls, and some of your favorite Sex and the City episodes on mute and you can say all the lines because MATURITY.

22.) You've defended almost everyone most people hated on, including CHRIS "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" COCKER because MATURITY. Also, because you respect his courage to be himself and to say what's in his heart.

23.) You wish you were born during the Elizabethan or Victorian era because people valued Love the same way you do (also yay, Pouffy dresses).

24.) You are intimidated by people who are so sure of themselves.

25.) Cocky and Overconfident people make you realize how much you hate people. They also make you realize that they are the way they are because they actually don't know shit. About anything.

26.) You can't wait for the day when you can finally say the words GAY, LESBIAN, TRANNY, etc. without offending anyone (or sounding like you are doing so to offend someone) because  they are finally accepted by most of SOCIETY (you just hate Society, you hate it with all your guts).

27.) You just HATE repeating yourself. "Didn't hear me that one time? I can do two. Again? Nevermind."

28.) You scream or sing the words "LET'S EAT!" or "HUNGERBELLS". And time is not a factor.

29.) Your dream in life is to have conversations like Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy in all the "Before" installments because most of Celine's lines were inspired by your heartbrain, and you say this to yourself with confidence.

30.) You wish that Fine Dining restaurants allowed you to ditch the silverware to use your hands and have comfier chairs with enough room to raise one leg up while stuffing your face with fancy food.

31.) You believe that the one of the very few who knows how to spend their wealth wisely is Bianca Araneta Elizalde.

32.) One of your proud moments in life was being mistaken as Heart Evangelista for more than 5 times. You really take pride in that. You seriously do.

33.) You are a Jejemon but with Breeding.

34.) You strongly believe that when it comes to almost anything, you know that people can say what they want, but if they don't know the INTENTION, they don't know shit.

35.) You want to seriously erase a few family members from your memory because their very existence baffles you (also because they have spoken ill of your deceased Mother). Feel those devil horns on your head? Yeah, they put that there.

36.) With the way you are with your guy friends (you know, their ease of being around you and vice versa), you sometimes wonder if you have an invisible Penis.

37.) You like to talk in various accents and wonder if people find it offensive.

38.) Reading the word "STUFFS" makes your eyes bleed. Hearing it has the same effect to your ears.

39.) You believe in Animal Rights so much but hate that you can't give up Chicken and Cheese, the only two things stopping you from going full-on Vegan.

40.) You think Sansa is stupid for not jumping on Tyrion's bones because you are attracted to him like crazy. Sure, you love You know nothing Jon Snow (which is actually his real name, GRRM left that out) but seriously : TYRION.

41.) You want to be on Broadway.

42.) Instruments? You can't play them for shit.

43.) You strongly believe that watching Vines for a whole day is never a day wasted because LAUGHTER (also, its become a habit for you to do during Weekends).

44.) You love that you are an Introvert because SIMPLE PLEASURES.

45.) You only want to go back to Dubai if you're with the same people you went with the first time because going without them will make you feel heartbroken.


Hmm. 
I'll probably realize more later.

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