Bystander, Why Stand There?

She's on the sidelines. Waiting? She has no idea what she's doing. Do you call that waiting? But she's not expecting anything. Hoping, maybe. But how can that be classified as waiting?

She's happy there, in all honesty. But she knows time won't wait for anyone. Time can be a merciless witch. 

See, on most days she can tell what's happening. But she has chosen to be in this situation, that she's learned to accept unusual reasoning. She argues with herself all the time, trying not to be paranoid. She's avoided her daily routine of talking to the mirror, because her reflection wasn't making sense to her anymore. Or maybe it was.

She recalls having similar emotions to this, but nothing as close to maddening as the one she's going through at the moment, but in a good way. Its like a whirlwind of sessions with a Shrink.

Sometimes, she wonders - is she being lied to? Is she being played, is the joke on her? Sometimes she thinks she's prepared for that, that maybe its the reality. Maybe she's just another one of his toys. But no, she knows that's not true.

So what is? How will she find out if he's drawn a temporary, soft line? How long is it going to be a "temporary line"?

She wants to know where this is going. But its too early to ask that. But for how long will it be "too early"?

Honesty is supposed to be something that frees us all, but why does it feel like an intense nightmare in this case?