One Giant BlockBuster Coming Right Up?

Ever read or saw "Love in the time of Cholera" ? 
I feel that's where I'm headed. A lifetime of struggle, you know? A mix of waiting and making things happen.
And as soon as it gets there - the best part of the movie, that's when it all ends. 

Would you say it was too short to live? This moment of clarity, finally, after all these years of going in circles of believing its going to happen, and then giving up, and then believing its going to happen - that its here at last?

And then you die.

Would you say it was worth it?
You're there. You know the meaning of life. You know what its like to die and be brought back by the same kiss.

I wish that sometimes, you know? When I'm feeling sheer bliss, I just wished I'd die that same day, or night - so I wouldn't know or feel what its like to be disappointed after being so happy.

I know its part of life, I know some people have it worse, but we're all built differently and this is not the kind of life I imagined for myself.

When I think about my life, put into film, I get confused of its overall theme and vibe.

There are movies that come very dark, in terms of the dialogue, the plot, the color palette of the whole theme - the set design, the actors' clothes, you know, like Blue Valentine. Depressing all throughout even during the happy scenes. As well as Revolutionary Road. Or Irreversible. The scarring kind.

Or would there be a typical transition to differentiate the good scenes from the bad, dreams from reality - like The Matrix or Inception, subtly hinting you that "Ooooh this is your imagination", or "Meh, this is reality". A shifting of colors and moods.

I wonder what my genre is. I wonder if the plot will be like Clint Eastwood's movies with his signature "Twisted Happy Endings". Will it have a loud finish, or a very light, but deep end?