Hypnos Grants Me Life

I don't remember when Hades and I started to become friends. But he would often pay me a visit when all the lights have gone out, when I allow the small ignited flame of hope to die for a few minutes. Sometimes I would call out to Hades, and he would gladly grace me with his presence. 

I don't blame Hades entirely for wanting to be with him. I would watch myself over and over, and wonder what it would be like to take that step, where I would no longer require him to keep me company in the hours of my chosen solitude, but in turn be with him for eternity. I think Hades was no stranger to such. The drama of having to choose probably baffles him. And yet he was almost always kind to me. He probably enjoyed the way I would write letters to people who lost over him. And I'm guessing he liked leaving his kingdom from time to time, you know, claiming people himself. But I think he was always fond of me, and yet I am confused whether it was because he liked to torture me this way, or maybe because he knew I would be with him soon enough, either way. Or maybe because he already knows me too well. I'm a coward. He liked to watch me fail every time. It used to piss him off, but now, like my bully friends, he laughs at my attempts knowing I'll never go through it. 

Then there's Hypnos, who gets here approximately 20 minutes after Hades. I don't really understand why it takes him that much time to come, but Hypnos has always won me over Hades, and I'm not sure if its because Hades allows it, or maybe because Hypnos knew he'd always win anyway. Or maybe he's made an agreement with Hades to spare me? I don't know, I'm probably an exception to their rules. I wonder why that is. 

Hades seduces me sometimes, although I know he lures me under false pretenses. He doesn't make me promises, but the idea of ending it all just made everything so...peaceful. I probably give more importance to my physical body than the soul that is keeping it alive. But on most days, it doesn't even feel like I have a soul. I've already died. What's the point.

Hypnos, on the other hand - makes promises ALL the time, all the freakin' time! "Come with me and forget for awhile, you'll feel better after I've taken you back from my kingdom". Yeah, yeah. I've heard it all before, Hypnos. I've got to keep my eyes closed to be in your world because as soon as I open them I'm back to my ugly, ugly, ugly reality. 

Sometimes I wished Hades would betray Hypnos, you know? When we're on one of our trips, I'd find Hades waiting on the other side of the bridge, where we were bound to never return. 

I don't know if that meant I'd have to be left in Hypnos' kingdom, probably on the outskirts, the less fancier area, where the Unicorns are banned from stepping on. 

But do you know what my greatest fear is? My greatest fear is what if I finally mustered the courage to be with Hades, and then Hypnos comes earlier than he usually does and they go on a war, and just as I thought I was gone, I am brought back. How do I live through something like that? 

And surely, when that happens - neither of them would become friends of mine.

I wouldn't know who to miss more.


Exchange (13)

Tracing my fingers from your back to your bottom,
I give it a light tap, resting my hand on top of its perfect, perfect shape.

"This is the ass that I love", I muttered.

You then mimicked my gesture, saying
"And this. Is the ass that I love".


Truth Be Told

And I say this with confidence, you are the best surprise Life has thrown at me. 
I intend to keep you like this. 
And I mean it in the best way.


Is It Not To Be Said

(a.k.a. Exchange 12)

How I can still feel your Lips on my Neck
How I can still feel your Body on top of Mine
How I can still feel you all over Me

How I can still hear your voice
How I can still hear your heart beating
How I can still hear you breathing

How I can still see the smile in your Eyes
How I can still see you playing with my Hair
How I can still see everything...into you.


Exchange (11)

"I'm sorry"

"What? Why?"

"I can't keep my hands off you"


You Know You're Abbie Almasco If (V.01)

Inspired by an old blog entry by one of my favorite women on Earth (hint : It's Kat Dennings).

1.) If a Guy hits on you, you immediately assume that its because he thinks you are Cheap and Easy (although you are not but you're really twisted like that), making you an easy target. Or maybe because there was no one else he could hit on. In other words, it does not boost your confidence at all.

2.) Everyday is a constant battle between wanting to know more on History, Art, and other things that matter versus reading on current trends and other superficial shit that you know you somehow loathe (but you have the Regina George syndrome on all things Superficial).

3.) You believe that you were born to roam around the World, but hate the fact that you have ZERO Savings, and ZERO Saving skills because YOLO.

4.) The voice in your head yells "PRETENTIOUS!" when you're having an Epiphany because your middle name is CONTRADICTION.

5.) Your back-up plan is to move to Greece, work at the local market to sell Vegetables and Fish, walk around Barefoot, spending afternoons by the beach with your Dog and a glass of Wine.

6.) You wake up with weird allergies all over your body. You also wake up with bruises you don't remember causing.

7.) You know you can never survive in the Cold.

8.) You wear your big ass heart on your sleeve and you don't give a rat's bum bum  that people think its a weakness.

9.) You're a Hopeless Romantic, you believe in Slow Dancing and Making love by Candlelight and you are one of the few remaining of your kind.

10.) You believe in Unicorns, and you are one of the few remaining of your kind. Shun the Non-Believer! Shun! Shun!

11.) You broke the same time Ally did during Episode 22 of Season 2.

12.) You're Stupid, and you like that you are because someone says "Like You" when you call him Stupid.

13.) You discovered your wild side by 2012, which made you realize that you are in fact, a Rebel. But for all the right reasons (or is that what all Rebels say).

14.) You lost count of the number of times you've received phone calls and voice notes/messages at 6 in the morning only to listen to all of your best guyfriends moaning sexually in your ears which could go on for a full minute (Hello, JDC. I love you too).

15.) Nothing grosses you out like Dry Feet and Dry Cuticles. And Racism.

16.) A Masculine Neck turns you on, and you discovered that upon realizing you've seen what a Masculine neck should look like.

17.) You are a self-confessed Prude, but you are not when you are with the Love of your Life because LOVE.

18.) You wish you were born a Saudi, because you are in love with the luxury of their Culture and Traditions. And because the Women are blessed with Beauty you can't find anywhere else in the World.

19.) You don't have a "type" when it comes to the opposite sex. One look and it just hits you - a strange connection. And this has happened even to guys who aren't "Good Looking" according to "Society".

20.) You secretly hate "Society". Well you secretly did, 5 seconds ago. And you like to dress "SOCIETY" with quotation marks because you think it points out that you're being sarcastic. 

21.) You can put Clueless, Mean Girls, and some of your favorite Sex and the City episodes on mute and you can say all the lines because MATURITY.

22.) You've defended almost everyone most people hated on, including CHRIS "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" COCKER because MATURITY. Also, because you respect his courage to be himself and to say what's in his heart.

23.) You wish you were born during the Elizabethan or Victorian era because people valued Love the same way you do (also yay, Pouffy dresses).

24.) You are intimidated by people who are so sure of themselves.

25.) Cocky and Overconfident people make you realize how much you hate people. They also make you realize that they are the way they are because they actually don't know shit. About anything.

26.) You can't wait for the day when you can finally say the words GAY, LESBIAN, TRANNY, etc. without offending anyone (or sounding like you are doing so to offend someone) because  they are finally accepted by most of SOCIETY (you just hate Society, you hate it with all your guts).

27.) You just HATE repeating yourself. "Didn't hear me that one time? I can do two. Again? Nevermind."

28.) You scream or sing the words "LET'S EAT!" or "HUNGERBELLS". And time is not a factor.

29.) Your dream in life is to have conversations like Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy in all the "Before" installments because most of Celine's lines were inspired by your heartbrain, and you say this to yourself with confidence.

30.) You wish that Fine Dining restaurants allowed you to ditch the silverware to use your hands and have comfier chairs with enough room to raise one leg up while stuffing your face with fancy food.

31.) You believe that the one of the very few who knows how to spend their wealth wisely is Bianca Araneta Elizalde.

32.) One of your proud moments in life was being mistaken as Heart Evangelista for more than 5 times. You really take pride in that. You seriously do.

33.) You are a Jejemon but with Breeding.

34.) You strongly believe that when it comes to almost anything, you know that people can say what they want, but if they don't know the INTENTION, they don't know shit.

35.) You want to seriously erase a few family members from your memory because their very existence baffles you (also because they have spoken ill of your deceased Mother). Feel those devil horns on your head? Yeah, they put that there.

36.) With the way you are with your guy friends (you know, their ease of being around you and vice versa), you sometimes wonder if you have an invisible Penis.

37.) You like to talk in various accents and wonder if people find it offensive.

38.) Reading the word "STUFFS" makes your eyes bleed. Hearing it has the same effect to your ears.

39.) You believe in Animal Rights so much but hate that you can't give up Chicken and Cheese, the only two things stopping you from going full-on Vegan.

40.) You think Sansa is stupid for not jumping on Tyrion's bones because you are attracted to him like crazy. Sure, you love You know nothing Jon Snow (which is actually his real name, GRRM left that out) but seriously : TYRION.

41.) You want to be on Broadway.

42.) Instruments? You can't play them for shit.

43.) You strongly believe that watching Vines for a whole day is never a day wasted because LAUGHTER (also, its become a habit for you to do during Weekends).

44.) You love that you are an Introvert because SIMPLE PLEASURES.

45.) You only want to go back to Dubai if you're with the same people you went with the first time because going without them will make you feel heartbroken.

I'll probably realize more later.


And Then There Are Days Like This

What am I doing. 
What are we doing.

We're playing this game, you know? The Waiting Game, among others. 
Let's cross the bridge when we get there.
You go first.
No you go first.
Oh look, its a line. 
Let's cross it.
Okay let's go back.
Okay let's cross it.

This is exciting, but sometimes it baffles me how we find ourselves back here.
I try to stop myself from going too far, but my heart always gets ahead, you know that.
Do you?
Its apparent you know how much I love you. I can tell, I really can.
Its apparent I know that you love me. I can tell, I really can.

You know, time and time again, I feel myself gazing at me as an outsider. 
Someone who sees it all, but I can't feel myself as I stare at me, writing you on that journal.
As an outsider, I'd say this, this is all trivial. What's so new about this?
But no, I defend myself from myself.

And this is where the confusion begins.
Almost saying the same lines, at the exact same pace, at the exact same time. 
"See you tomorrow at 4?" I ask myself.
And then I hope not to.

I'd really hope this would end with a miracle, you know? 
Magically. With Unicorns. 
There's no other way I'd want it. 


A Thousand Words

(a.k.a. Exchange 10)

I can't even explain this, but I'd like to look at this photo and smile.
And not explain.
And smile.


I Love My Ask.Fm Page

Goes to show how much of a Lucy Van Pelt I really am.
(CRABBY PEOPLE all around the World : Can I get a WUTT WUTT???)

Kidding aside, and don't don't get me wrong for the Peanuts reference (because I love Lucy Van Pelt, she is my Cartoon Counterpart), but I love it. I love answering your deep, difficult questions. I'd love to help this way. So, please keep it coming. 

I hope my answers make sense though. But these are the things that really get me going, you know? These are the things that really matter to me. Sure, I like questions about Fashion or Make-Up from time to time, but at the end of the day, we all know what really matters. We all know what's really important. And DOI, its LIFE.

Here's one of the favorite questions I've answered, so far :

Felt like sharing that because I've been meaning to do a blog entry on it but now I get to shoot two thingumajigs with one stone (I quit saying bird, because even in a hypothetical sense, I don't want to kill birds, as how I hate whenever curiosity kills a Cat).

There's an ASK.FM Toolbar to the right side of this page or visit my ASK.FM account right here.

God Bless you.


I feel like barfing on my blog with an awesome combination of my stupid face (but hey I love it, someone has to) and colors and clouds and the galaxy and cheesy messages that I scribbled on myself.

Now let's all pretend this didn't happen. 
You didn't see anything.


Bus Ride Epiphanies


Can't Knock My Hustle

Hova does it again.

I have a love/hate relationship with Jay Z. But in my series of conflicting ideas on the man in the past coupl'a years, I can't deny the fact that he is a Genius. I got goosebumps watching this, especially after understanding the reason why he came up with this idea. I saw my friends rave about it in the past month but then I didn't really bother checking it out. But after this video was released yesterday... Damn.

And I know all these people are all like "Illuminati this, Illuminati that", but man I'm just here to enjoy his music and his talent, and that goes for all the other rumored products of the Illuminati. I can listen to whoever all I want, wear them Shirts, make them signs (for fun, especially when the Superficial Fashionista Wannabe in me strikes) with my hands all I want and still stick to being...me. I still believe in God. My Faith has not faltered.

It all goes down to your INTENT.
So chill. Bask in the awesomeness of his music.


I'd Be Lost, I'd Be Frightened

When I think about my Childhood and all the Musicals I was very fond of, I can't NOT think of Jesus Christ Superstar. My Mom and I loved this to bits. I remember singing a lot of Yvonne's songs in our shop's Stockroom. Love.



At the end of the day, we all wish to have what they have. And it is definitely something to look up to. 

You know, initially people would poke at them, or laugh at them, but if you try getting your head out of your ass, you'd realize that they've got what most of us don't. I don't know what it is exactly, but Ms. Cheridel's dedication to her work, and Genelyn's passion in singing, well, those are things we should look up to.

I am so sure Genelyn knows what she sounds like but does she look like she gives a Flying F what we think? 

Hashtag Respect.


Today I Am Feeling (Wardrobe Edition)

Today I Am Feeling : 08/01/13

3.1 Phillip Lim college jacket / Chloé wool shorts / Alexander Wang leather heels / Proenza Schouler bag / MICHAEL Michael Kors bracelet jewelry / 14k hoop earrings / Supra snapback cap

Today I Am Feeling : 08/01/13

A|Wear drawstring maxi dress / Polo Ralph Lauren open front cardigan / Tory Burch strappy sandals / Moyna handbag / MICHAEL Michael Kors swarovski crystal jewelry / Club Monaco crystal jewelry / Dogeared bead bracelet / Orelia beaded jewellery / Orelia bracelet charm / CÉLINE sunglasses


It Only Takes A Few

(a.k.a. Exchange (9))

Two words from you after 16 days of silence. My screen lit up. Made a sound. Two words and then I froze.

"Hi Abbie". 

It was all it took to flush away the thoughts running in my head. What was I gonna wear tomorrow, Why didn't this Client reply to me, How about the event on September 12, When is my stock of Laban expiring, What was my name? 

I stared at my phone for a full minute.
I couldn't feel my heart and yet it was about to explode off of my chest.
My stomach was in knots. 
I dry swallowed what seemed to be a pill in the size of a Strepsil.

I replied, keeping it casual. Keeping it cool, trying to hide all traces of anxiety, of excitement, of longing. But I was hoping you could feel it all the way to where you were - the wanting, the needing, the extreme longing.

And then all these familiar feelings stirred up in me, like little babies left for days in a Nursery, wanting to be carried, like waves fighting to get to the surface. 

All these repressed emotions, I couldn't help but welcome. That peculiar smile on my face - the smile meant only for you, turned up while I cling to my phone underneath the sheets.

"So stupid."

"Like you."

"Yeah, I know right?"

Hey. You know I love you, right?