(a.k.a. Exchange 16)
With you, I will always want more. No matter how many times I end up in Rehab, I relapse the moment I step out of the Building. I trick myself to believe that I am well, deep down I've already ran back to you - which I do, the minute my papers are signed and I am cleared of this...addiction.
Its almost like a reflex, you see. The way I react to you, the way I respond to your every word, or touch, or kiss. Its something that comes instantly. I've put my foot down in the matter of you, but I realized I would do that just so I could walk to your direction.
I will always want more from you. More hugs, more kisses, more time, more moments. Yes, more. More than that. I will want more than you can give me. I will want more than I can take.
You're so good for me, its bad.
You're so bad for me, its good.
Oftentimes I would confuse these two with each other. But all I know is that these feelings are do damn real, its ridiculous. I have never felt so fulfilled and so empty at the same time when I am with you. I am satisfied, but I am nowhere nearly filled. Its like a hunger that never ends.
I would touch you even when everyone else could see, but its never enough. Its like I'd wish you'd pull me into a dark room and we'd stay in there for as long as we want, consuming each other until we're convinced we could call it a day. Or maybe we'll never leave.
When we're marking ourselves all over each other, it would feel like the longest moment of my life, and also the shortest. Like its never enough. With you, it will never be - even when I think you have given me more than I ask.
More. I will always want more.