All We Can Do Is


So Many Red Lights

The house does not feel the same without him.

That is the first thing that came to mind when she found it empty. Sure, most of the time they mind their own business, but the house does not feel the same without him. 

She has to stop taking advantage of him like this.
She has to stop.


Admission : One

It's a nice feeling to admit when you're at fault. I just wish other people didn't have that much of an ego to admit their mistakes too. 

In order to get respect from others, you first have to find it in yourself ... to respect yourself.  Because as soon as you do, you'll be able to find the courage to walk out of a situation where you're being treated less than you deserve. You won't even feel the need to demand for an apology, or an acceptance of the apology you've just asked. 

Not all friendships you've had for years are the way you thought they are...or, were. At one point you will realise that all this time you've felt so small around them. And that's not good for you. You should feel grateful and thankful for everything but that doesn't mean you have to settle. 

As that saying goes...NEVER SETTLE. And this doesn't just apply in romantic relationships. It applies in all of them.


I Try

This song is one of my favourites to offer during Service. Ah, I love Brooke Fraser.

And this, still makes me cry.



Ugh, I could barely get in the shower when the water's all cold. So doing this felt like the world was telling me, "How about we make you try ICE COLD WATER and see if you like it?"

Didn't have time to make my video any special or anything. Sorry.

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge from Abbie Almasco on Vimeo.

This has drawn so much controversy, hasn't it? There are some people who forgot what it was for, and have been doing it for the sake of joining in "the bandwagon", there are people pointing out that ALSA.ORG is not using the funds for research, yada-yada-yada, the list goes on. Who knows. God forbid the latter isn't true at all. 

I'd like to thank my friend Sheena, who didn't just nominate me, but also paid my donation for me through her credit card (mine's expired already, so I ended up paying her cash in exchange of donating for me through her Dad's CC) - THANK YOU, SHEENIE!

God Bless everyone who did this and donated too. Doesn't matter how much you've donated. It just feels good to know there are people in this World who are still willing to do something like this to help out. 

I really hope we can find a cure for this. And Cancer, and AIDS, and Ebola, and all those mean, nasty diseases that have been taking away loved ones from us.

Until that glorious and miraculous day comes, we will keep needing each other like this. 

God bless us all.


Antee Swowz Yel

I've been such an anti-social person lately. 

The other day, during Dinner, my friends thought we should try that thing where we all put our cellphones on top of each other throughout the evening without checking them.  The goal was to interact with each other. As you know, times have changed. People hang out so they won't have to scroll through their phones alone.

I found it so hard to talk to them. It was like, we were all talking at once, or at one point I wasn't relating to anyone at all. I kept talking but no one was listening, sometimes they were but it felt like I didn't know what I was saying. It was a confusing time.

I also ended up saying a lot of things related to feels. Which was stupid. It was not the time for that.

Earlier today, also during Dinner, our waiter came to our table and tried to make small talk. I DESPISE small talk. I tried so hard to remain polite and interested. It made me uncomfortable.

On my way to work everyday, the Driver tries to initiate small talk with me. Although it's fun, because you always learn something new from conversations like this, especially during rides on your way to work, but these days, I just feel like keeping to myself. I feel like my conscience would nudge me sometimes, telling me to try to be a little considerate. But that's like, not being true to myself... Right? I don't know.

People in the office think I don't like hanging out with them probably, because I barely sit with them during Lunch Break. But it's nothing like that. 

I just enjoy the silence, I guess. I like hearing myself, my thoughts. You should see how happy I am when I find out I'm in the lounge alone.

People are such a disappointment, you know?
Sometimes I feel like, the lesser actual, real-life, face to face interaction I have with them, the better.

Just let me sit here in one corner and take selfies in peace. You know, that feeling. Don't get me wrong though, I love my friends. I really do. 

This is probably just a phase too, I guess. Or maybe the times are changing. Maybe I'M changing. Somehow, it does feel good to know that you really don't need people at all, and yeah - there are a handful of people I know I will always need. But I guess I'm talking about the overall concept of people in our lives. Be grateful for the friendships, for the family you have. Maybe what I'm trying to say is, apart from God - you're all you'll ever need, really. The rest is just a bonus.

Oh, Adulthood. 


Put This On A Shirt

"You only want me

Until you don't"

A Love Story


Girls Just Wanna

Taking a break from all the drama (publicly), and since I am also, taking a break from posting anything on my Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (well, except for the songs I've covered), thought of uploading these photos here.

I was treated to this yummy yummy Kit-Kat cake from Saadeedin earlier. It was so good!

Some of today's acquisitions. FINALLY, a sculpting kit from MUFE! So excited to start using it tomorrow. I've been using cheap (but awesome too, nonetheless) contouring products from Maybelline, but they're too creamy for me. Powder is awesome! And I bought a Contouring Brush too. Can't wait to raid MAC for their brushes soon.

The Ballet flats on the left was only bought back in July, and because I've used them on almost a daily basis, it's really worn out! So I got the pair on the right as its replacement (or, well - alternative. Those Ballet Flats are the comfiest, like wearing a pair of Toms!)

I'm thinking of splurging on Chanel's Primer by next month, as well as investing on really good loose powder. 

My Lipstick Addiction is back, too.

Thanks, Maya for filling in for what my Wallet cannot produce at the moment! Love you.



I may not mean much.
Until you lose me.



She reeked of sweat
And cigarette
Staring into the Sky
With barely a star in sight
Blurred into Oblivion by the City Lights

She watches the Smoke
Emerge from her nostrils
Disappearing to space
Hearing life as it happens
While death dances around her

She is tempted to burn
To pierce her skin
With her fifth light of cancer stick
Just to feel
Just to feel

She cries
Until she could no more
Until she is robbed off of any emotion
Any thought
Of what is

Of what will never be was
Of what should never have been
Of what will always be



Someone should paint her like this
Sitting in a dark corner
Mascara running down her cheeks
Cigarette in hand

Someone should paint her like this
To capture how everything is whole on the outside
And shattered on the inside

Someone should paint her like this
The only time she is true to herself

Someone should paint her like this


End It

For a second there, it really did feel like I was on the edge
On the ledge
Standing, Quivering

I could hear the sound of the cars passing by
Seeing the lights of all the Buildings
Looking like stars within reach

And in a split second, I jump
Regretting it 
Too late, like all things in life

But in that moment
Feeling nothing, not even the clothes on my back
Nothing but the empty, vast space

I felt it
And then I hit the ground

I jolted from my imagination
And dreaded what could have been
Have I done just that

If I could have that moment
That moment of feeling
Of falling
Of freedom
Of knowing it was going to end

I would want that feeling and only that feeling
For the rest of my life
That is about to end


Linking Verbs

She "IS" no one to you.

The only time she will be

Is when "IS" 

Becomes "WAS"



(a.k.a. Exchange 19)

6:00 A.M. and heavy eyes, she turned to lie on her back and stare at the ceiling, then to her left. Empty.

And yet hours ago, the space between her and the edge of the bed was filled by another person, whose arms were around her. She watched him fall asleep. She watched him struggle not to snore. She would turn and move in hopes of waking him, but whenever she did, he would tighten his grip around her.

She laughed.

He'd wake sometimes, he'd nuzzle her, he'd kiss her bare shoulders, and she would turn to him and find her usual spot between his neck and chest, feeling his breath on her forehead.

This is and will be known to be one of the many times they drift off together. 

She wakes and stares at him and would kiss him repeatedly, until he falls from the clouds and back to her bed. 

He smiles. He smiles without opening his eyes and yet he knows that hers are on him. He covers her eyes, but that doesn't work. 

And then they kiss.

Soon enough she realises it's half past 6:00 and she needs to get up.

And yet she swears, as soon as she looks back at her regular sized bed, she sees herself and him as they continue to again...finish, what she knew wasn't finished before they had drifted off to sleep.

Finished, is something she knew they would never be.


Exchange (18)

"But are you leaving? Why should you, you have a job."

"Yeah, I know."

"So? Are you leaving?"

"No, I guess... Well - maybe...not."


"Because of you. Anyway I feel like leaving because of you."

"Take me out of the picture. Now tell me what you want."

"Why? Do you want me to stay?"

"I want to see you here. I want you here but what you want is what matters"

"Well then I guess I don't want to leave."


"Because...I love my job."

"And? What else?"




"And... you wanna stay."

"Yeah. And I wanna stay."


Going, Going

Most of the time I would wonder what it's like to die. Most of the time, my fear is what it would feel like. Most of the time I just don't want it to hurt. 

But then I know there is this instance of relief, so much relief that it will cloud the rest of my worry and fear. 

Most of the time I wonder how people around me will react to my passing. 

See, we feel for all these famous celebrities that pass away, we remember what it was like when they were here, and we celebrate them. 

But isn't it always too late?
It's always too late. 

No one is an exception.
Eventually, people will regret all this. 

All this.

It just makes no sense.


Sexy Danger

(a.k.a. Exchange 17)

There is nothing like that shared moment of laughter between two people. You know, you fall on the mattress, laughing, and then you continue kissing, and things are falling off of the bed (like cellphones) and the couch nearby (like magazines).

Every moment with this person looks like it was out of a indierom movie. Dim orange lights, fingernails tracing bare backs and lots and lots of naked kisses, wherever his or your mouth is closest to, falling asleep to nuzzles and cuddles, feeling one's breath on each other's neck. 


If it isn't, then there isn't any word to describe it yet.
Most of the time, there are no words that could ever compare, define, describe what is, and will always be, a beautiful exchange between you and me.